


Like an Open Wound

by Tanagariel



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Blood and Injury, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Recreational Drug Use, Rock Star Clarke, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Violence, bodyguard Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-10-22 16:44:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 162,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10701006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanagariel/pseuds/Tanagariel
Summary: Famous musician Clarke Griffin, known in the industry as Wanheda, is in the process of relaunching her career with a new image, to leave behind the negativity and bad press surrounding her. She's going on tour very soon, so her manager decided to hire a team, to Clarke's dismay, with the sole intent to keep Clarke safe from her extremely ravenous fanbase.Enter Lexa Woods, who has been tasked to watch over the very wild rock star. Finding a stubborn woman who was free-spirited had been nothing but a challenge for the disciplined security expert. Suffice to say that they were going to clash.Clarke and Lexa will spend the whole tour together and in the process learning that they aren't so different after all. That maybe, they can find a common ground between being in the spotlight and the shadows, leaving both their hearts exposed,  like an open wound.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic was inspired by the song Room for Happiness by Kaskade. And for those wondering how does  
> Clarke might sound like I recommend listening to these songs which is how I envision her style:  
> Republica - Ready to Go  
> Leslie Roy - I'm Gone, I'm Going
> 
> Thanks for being here and enjoy the ride,
> 
> Tanagariel

_BUZZ BUZZ_  
The sound of the smartphone vibrating on the night table near the king-size bed was especially annoying this morning. Surely, whoever dared to call this early will give up and allow her some well deserved rest.  
_BUZZ BUZZ_  
Sighing, Clarke peeled one eye open to reach for the device; whoever it was clearly wasn’t going to quit calling. The blonde woman extended her arm, and once she grasped the phone, she checked the caller ID. She blinked trying to adjust her eyesight to the screen’s sudden brightness and read the name in big letters.  
“Shit!” She mumbled, and moving as slowly as possible she slid out of the bed pushing the covers away from her very naked body, trying to avoid disturbing her friend. Well, mostly friend with benefits, Niylah, whom she spent the previous night simply fucking her brains out to release some stress due to the upcoming charity concert. She was thankful Niylah was pretty much available whenever she was in the big apple.  
Clarke took the first piece of clothing thrown haphazardly around the luxurious hotel room and put it on, walking into the restroom to answer the call.

“Hey.” Clarke’s voice came out groggy, still filled with sleep. With her backhand she wiped her eyes trying to remove the drowsiness. “Good morning to you too, Kane. Jesus, can you like wait to call me until I’m up? It’s 7am. I don’t have to be in the concert hall until 1.” Clarke leaned into the mirror to check herself out. Her long-disheveled blonde hair was messy, looking more like a bird's nest than actual hair. Her sky blue eyes were clear yet she had some bags under her eyes. Her late-night activities prevented proper hours of rest that she needed for today’s gig, but she was horny and in need of release.  
Her pale skin stood in stark contrast to the black tiles in the bathroom.  She licked her thin lips, moistening them a bit as she checked to make sure there were no marks on her skin. It was better to avoid explaining to the make-up team why she had hickeys when she was supposed to lay low during work time. Clarke put the phone on speaker and turned on the faucet to wash her face.  
“Clarke, I told you to return to your hotel but I was told by the concierge that you never came back! You need to focus!” Marcus’ voice broke with frustration.  
The cold water helped Clarke awaken her senses. She closed the tap and grabbed a clean towel to dry her face. “Seriously? Marcus, no matter what I do the press won’t leave me the hell alone. Relax, okay? I uhm, I just needed some time away.”  
“Clarke, we’re trying to clean up your wild rock star and party girl image. Since you started this stupid feud with Ontari, your sales are lower than expected.  I cannot help you if you don’t help yourself first!” Marcus insisted with logic. The man was definitely the kind of manager who could be strict or flexible at times and has a lot of experience. That’s why Clarke decided to work with him.

She started her career years ago when she was just a hopeful high school kid with big dreams. She began by singing in school events and small coffee shops in her hometown of DC. Clarke really wanted to make her living as a musician. That was her dream. A dream that she hoped to accomplish in memory of her father who passed away when she was 16 from a deadly disease. Jake Griffin always encouraged her to play with her acoustic guitar he gave her and even joined her to play some old songs, so when she graduated high school she was determined to become a musician. Her mother, Abby, wasn’t a big fan of this idea since she would rather see her daughter in a more steady career. But still, she allowed Clarke to head to LA for 3 months and try her luck, maybe with the hopes that her daughter was going to get disillusioned and come back home.  
That didn’t happen.  
In LA her path crossed with Octavia Blake who worked in a music shop she frequented, and they became friends. Octavia, upon hearing Clarke’s dream, introduced the hopeful blonde to her big brother Bellamy who managed a bar and had some contacts that might help Clarke. The small gigs that he was able to book were enough to gather a very loyal but small audience.  
Bellamy began managing Clarke.  After several months of sacrifice and hard work, he secured her a gig in a very fancy restaurant where Marcus Kane heard her for the first time.  
And the rest as they say, is history.

“Look, I’ll get back okay? No need to get all crazy on me. Just get me some breakfast ready ‘cos I’m hungry.”  
“Just come back already, we need to review the concert one more time.” With that, Marcus ended the call.  
Clarke quickly brushed her teeth, and fixed her hair in a high bun, walking back into the bedroom she could see that more light was beginning to filter through the peach curtains which made easier for her to find her clothes. Clarke dressed up and she grabbed her purse and dark glasses from the small center table before leaving the room.  
Niylah was still in bed deeply asleep as Clarke turned around in the hall. She smiled smugly, knowing how she exhausted the hazel-eyed blonde who was nothing but the perfect warm body for her lonely nights. The musician wrote a quick note on a notepad thanking Niylah for the fun night and left it in a visible place before disappearing completely from the room. She took a deep breath and headed back to her hotel to meet her already pissed manager and get ready for her concert tonight.

 

///

 

The rush of adrenaline hit her right before the concert, how her heart beat strongly against her ribcage, pumping blood through her veins, oxygenating her cells in order to keep her alive. The chants grew as the time to start the opening number approached. She felt ready, excited and pumped to rock the stage as she did every time she had a live show. This time the purpose of her show was to gather funds to offer aid to orphan kids in need through a non-profit organization of her choice.  
Clarke Griffin, known as _Wanheda_ in the musical world, was in her dressing room re-touching her eye makeup. The smoky shadows around her eyes gave her a very rocker vibe, combined with pink to soften her look. Her blonde hair with pink streaks was braided partially, combining her soft wavy hair and the braids to keep her hair away from her face while she played her guitar.  
Clarke applied a rosy lipstick and checked herself in the mirror once more. Her blue eyes stared at her reflection intently.  
A knock on the door brought Clarke back to the present. She turned around and met one of her best friends and sound engineer, Raven Reyes, who lived nearby in her hometown of DC and went to elementary school together.

“Aright Clarke, you’re ready to go. The band members are already in position.”  
“Thanks Rae, I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.” Clarke fixed her grey top and adjusted her leather pants.  
“Good luck, Clarke. Rock the house!” Raven winked and left Clarke to her own devices.  
She breathed deeply, closing her eyes and trying to focus on the big show tonight. Usually Clarke requested to be left alone after her makeup team finished with her. This time allowed her to gather herself and concentrate on the upcoming show. Ready to give her heart and soul in her performance. It was one of the few times that she could be with herself.  
Since she was discovered by Marcus her life has been in the spotlight, and it had taken some time to get used to it. She was still getting used to being talked about as if she didn’t have any feelings, as if she only existed for the consumption of the fans and media.  
It was a very hectic life.

After a couple of breathing exercises and warming up her vocal cords, she walked out of her dressing room.  Raven was waiting for her with her guitar in the narrow hall of the backstage. The crowd was getting anxious as they began screaming and cheering, chanting _Wanheda, Wanheda, Wanheda!_  
“Here you go.” Raven helped Clarke strap her guitar. A Gibson SG Standard in Pelham Blue which was her signature guitar.  
Marcus Kane, approached Clarke to give her some encouraging words as usual. The bearded man smiled and rested his hand on her shoulder. “Make sure to keep them pumped. After the show don’t forget the meet and greet and then we’re taking you back home. We need to discuss your _Infinity Tour_ , Clarke.”  
“Yeah yeah, I know Kane.” Clarke rolled her eyes, already fed up with her manager’s plan to revamp her image.  
She knew that this new-relaunch of her image was something Marcus had been working for the past few months. She understood that her feud with Ontari Snow had brought nothing but bad press and exaggerated rumors that went from drug use to bashing hotel rooms along with a long list of people she was apparently dating. It had become madness and it was out of control.  
Clarke sometimes was bit wild with her extravagant parties she threw to feel less alone. Add to that the last time she encountered Ontari in a nightclub a couple of months ago where they both insulted and even threw a couple of punches at each other. Beyond that, everything was all mad gossip. However, her label company wasn’t very happy.  Of course, the fall-out of all of the negative publicity lead to Ontari’s album crushing her latest album, and they were understandably concerned and pressured Marcus to make some changes.  
Marcus wanted to start on the right foot the upcoming tour, renewing not just her image but to launch a new Clarke. A more mature singer attuned to her audience. This was the reason why she shed the red hair of Wanheda last month to combine a soft pink with her natural blonde hair, making it more chic and less intimidating, as Marcus said.

“Stick to schedule, and try to keep your language PG-13, shall we?” With a quick tap on her shoulder Marcus left to continue supervising the show.  
“Whatever.” Clarke huffed. She strained her neck and eased her shoulders letting the tension fade away.  
“Okay, everyone. Let’s have some fun.” Clarke smiled to her crew and once the announcer called her name the crowd went wild welcoming her to stage with a thunderous applause.

 

///

 

After almost 2 hours of singing her latest hits and favorite songs, Clarke said goodbye to her fans and thanked them for joining her in this special show to help the orphaned kids before she began preparations for her new nationwide tour. Her label and Marcus were gambling on this upcoming tour to be a huge success, and Clarke had to work her ass off to write new material too for her 4th album set to be released next year.

Exhausted but content, Clarke showered briefly and changed into looser clothes - ripped off jeans and a blue long-sleeve shirt. She brushed her hair quickly after losing the braids and applied light-make up to meet her fans.  
“Make sure to be polite and avoid cursing. There are younger kids in the M&G, don’t forget it.” Marcus walked with Clarke to the meeting room where a small group of lucky fans had the chance to meet their idol in the post-concert meet and greet.  
“I got this, Kane. This ain’t my first rodeo you know?” Clarke smiled confidently and entered the room.

Clarke took the time to have small conversations with the group of fans that won this opportunity to spend some time with her, trying to remember their names and addressing them by it. Clarke tried to make the whole experience worth it for them. It was tiring but this is what she swore she was going to do if she was ever blessed to be a big name in the music industry. To thank her fans by spending some time with them was the least she could do for all the love and support they gave her since she began singing in tiny bars when she was 19. Clarke chuckled at the memories of her very humble beginnings sharing a bit of it with her fans.

After Marcus Kane heard her demo he signed her to **Arkadia Music Group** where she gained notoriety by becoming the opening act of one of their pop bands, The Dropship. Her huge success and popularity finally gave Clarke the opportunity to go solo and launch her first album which earned her a Grammy nomination for Best New Artist the following year. With this, Clarke appeared on the music industry map.  
With her no-nonsense fiery red hair, Clarke began conquering the world of music as _Wanheda_ , a name that Marcus thought would be more edgy than simply Clarke Griffin. Many thought the name was actually of a boy so to avoid such confusion Marcus decided to launch a fierce persona who conquered the stage with her attitude and style.  
Her second album became a success with the single _You’re The One_ and _Abducted_. Earning her nominations and some victories in several categories at the AMA’s and Billboard Music Awards two years later.  
Clarke launched her third album last year, but the competing label **Azgeda Records** and Ontari Snow as their top artist, clearly put a brake on Clarke’s career as the sales flopped, worrying her label company. The songwriter/singer even got mocked because some of her songs were a reflection of her personal experiences, particularly during her emo phase after she ended things with her ex-boyfriend.

It had been a rough period for Clarke back then. The infamous parties and gossip about her love life was what fed the paparazzi and not her music. Finn Collins, a young freelance writer, was her boyfriend at the time. Things were really going as well as they could be with someone as young and famous as Clarke. He was sweet and a good guy. But after their relationship was outed to the media, the constant stalking of the press was too much for the bohemian man who simply got tired and asked Clarke to quit her ravaging lifestyle and focus on a more slow-paced life with him, away from the eyes of the press and her fans.  
Clarke couldn’t accept his proposal, not because of lack of love, she did care for him, but Finn didn’t believe that she was capable of lasting in the competitive music industry. He simply dismissed her, saying it was not her talent that took her far but her looks, even implying that Clarke used sexual favors to climb up the success ladder.  
That hurt Clarke deeply, and even when Finn was remorseful for his attitude and lack of trust, Clarke called it quits. Since then Clarke has shut down any serious candidate and instead enjoys casual relationships whenever she has the time. There was no space for love in a fast life like the one she had. Not even her one night stands were enough to fill the loneliness Clarke felt, but she had to deal with it. That was her sacrifice to make her dream come true.  
In summary, Clarke’s life was complicated.  

“Thank you Charlotte, I appreciate that you came all the way to see me sing live.” Clarke signed the poster that the young girl handed her. “Did you have fun?”  
“Yeah, it was so cool. I really love your songs, though sometimes they make me cry.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry Charlotte. I uh, yeah, some of my latest songs aren’t the best in terms of happiness, but I assure you I’ll work to bring back more excitement into my new songs.” She took a couple of pictures with the girl before moving on to the rest of people waiting to greet her.  
She smiled for the photos with each and every fan, taking her time to get to know them and signed memorabilia. She also got some gifts and letters from the fans and once they were all happy, she bid them farewell so she could go home.

However, the exit of the stadium got a bit tricky. There were fans waiting at the exit shouting her name, the blast of flashes blinded the blonde who was surrounded by Marcus and some low level security team from the venue.  
Clarke wanted to say hello but Marcus kept pushing her forward.  Her rabid fanbase tended to get extremely excited, and sometimes people got hurt.  
“Thank you for coming!” Clarke waved from inside the van to the girls desperate to catch a glimpse of their idol.  
The car departed as fast as possible right to the airport to go back to DC.

“Oh boy, that was insane!” Marcus raked his fingers through his brown medium mane, pretty shocked by the intensity of the fans. “We will need to up your security. That was really dangerous, Clarke.”  
“Marcus, I don’t want it. I’d love to interact with as many fans as possible and having a gorilla behind my back might stop them from reaching me.” Clarke leaned back on the headrest and stared through the tinted window. She had no strength to deal with Marcus’s antics tonight.  
“You’re extremely popular Clarke. This is not the same as when you had just a couple thousands of fans when you began your career in LA. Now you have millions and your security is vital. Now that you’re going on a nationwide tour, we need professionals, not the basic security detail we have been using so far.  The press will be breathing behind your neck because Ontari will be in some cities near you.”  
“I don’t care about the press.” Clarke glared at Marcus.  
“But the label does, Clarke. If you keep acting recklessly, they will rescind the contract. This new album and upcoming tour has to exceed their expectations. Otherwise your career might be in jeopardy.”  
“Do you expect me to be a saint now?” Clarke reclined her back on the leather seat of the van closing her eyes.  
“No, but you know that those drinking parties and random hook-ups need to stop. You have fans of all ages, Clarke. You’re a role model to them, and it’s like you don’t even care anymore. Nia Quinn is using Ontari as a tool to undermine your talent and amazing positive work you have been doing.  You gotta help me here. I have a plan, but without your cooperation it will fail.”  
“Ugh, fine. Tomorrow we can meet to discuss what we are going to do, I’m tired.”

 

///

 

Clarke was so happy to be back in her own apartment in DC. Nothing could beat the softness of her own bed and the privacy of it all. This place was one of the first things she bought when she had her first big check. A place that felt comfortable, that was a safe haven for her to return whenever she was done with touring or press promotions, a place she could call home.  
This penthouse was her lair and only her inner circle of friends were allowed to visit. This was as private as she could get too. Outside it was always intense because of the fans following or paparazzi on the hunt of something new to criticize about her.  
That is main reason why not even her lovers were welcomed here because this place belonged to Clarke, not to Wanheda, and Clarke intended to keep it that way.

_DING DONG!_  
Clarke lifted her head from her comfortable pillow to check her clock on the nightstand.  
“What the fuck?” Clarke flopped back on the bed hoping that it was a wrong door, which didn’t make sense since this was the only apartment on this floor.  
_DING DONG!_  
“Go away!” Clarke mumbled, burying her head inside the covers.  
_DING DONG!_  
“AAAARGH!” Clarke threw the covers back with resignation. “Seriously?” She sat on the bed hitting the bed like a small child. The clock wasn’t lying. It was still morning. She had agreed to meet with Marcus and her mom later for lunch and to talk about his ideas for the _Infinity Tour_. Apparently, Marcus had other plans.  
“One second!” Clarke shouted to stop the damn doorbell from ringing one more time. She didn’t even bother to put on a robe and walked to the door in her tiny black boyshorts and white cotton tank top since it had to be none other than Marcus. He had seen her in more compromising situations so it was no big deal.  
“I’m coming!”  
Clarke raked her fingers through her hair to at least look less like shit. “You better be carrying pancakes, Kane!” She opened the door with certain anger to show Marcus she was tired of being interrupted in her sleep.  
Except that wasn’t Marcus.

Clarke’s jaw slacked open, her cheeks turning a shade of pink in utter embarrassment. In front of her was a woman standing regally with arms behind her back.  She had a lithe figure, slightly taller than her by a couple of inches, dressed in grey slacks, white button up tucked neatly inside and a skinny black tie around her neck, with chestnut long wavy hair slightly braided and plump lips that looked kissable. However, what called the attention of the musician was the exquisite forest green of her eyes mixed with tiny flecks of gold that contrasted beautifully with her tanned olive skin. Deep green eyes scanned her back with curiosity.  
Clarke realized she was staring like an idiot, but who could blame her with a hot woman standing in front of her. “Ehm, you’re definitely not Marcus.”  
“No, I’m not. I don’t carry pancakes either, but I wouldn’t mind taking you out for breakfast if you were wearing some pants.” Her voice was soft, melodic but firm. Her sinful lips curved into a little cocky smirk.

Clarke chuckled feeling self conscious in her underwear, and her nipples strained a little by the slight breeze flowing in the hall, poking through her very thin white tank top; however, she wasn’t going to hide in embarrassment. Not from this woman whose allure was breathtaking, mysterious in a way yes, but astonishing nonetheless.  
“Well, I wouldn't mind hanging out with a pretty girl, but my mom warned me about going out with strangers.” Clarke teased with her trademark grin. At least, Raven told her that whenever she smiled like that her fans ended up wet or with a boner.  
Apparently this brunette was immune to her rock star charms.  
The mysterious woman cleared her throat before speaking again, composing her facial features, hardening them as if she was a completely different person and not the smooth confident woman she spoke with a minute ago.  
“Apologies, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m looking for Ms. _Klark_ Griffin. Mr. Kane sent me to this address, unless I am at the wrong door?”  
It was pretty odd how the woman pronounced her name, clicking more strongly the c as if it were a k. Clarke liked it. No one said her name with such uniqueness. Also, that was a first time that she encountered someone who had no idea who she was, since her face tended to appear in most entertainment news and magazines.  
“Nope, this is the right place. I’m Clarke.” Clarke extended her arm and the woman shook it politely. Her hand was calloused in certain areas which called Clarke’s attention. “And you are?”  
“I’m Lexa Woods, Ms. Griffin.”  
Clarke worried her lip. “Umm, you said Marcus sent you here? Why?”  
“I’m your new personal security, ma’am.”  
Okay, this is not how Clarke expected this meeting to begin.  
“Fucking hell!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A heads up. You will get a bit of both worlds, so Clarke's POV will be odd chapters and Lexa's even chapters.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Tana

Sitting uncomfortably in the spacious living room of the rock star, Lexa observed the wild hurricane that was her new client. The blonde who wasn’t a redhead anymore, as Lexa expected her to be, was arguing passionately with her manager. Her hands flew all around her body, her voice a bit louder than what was reasonable, yet the intensity of her eyes was what caught Lexa’s attention. Her eyes were as blue as a clear sky on a summer day, but also as stormy and fiery as an ocean mid-tempest.

As Lexa listened to the angry woman’s rants, she wondered why Becca specifically sent her to do this job. After all, this was protecting a rock star from groupies.  Anyone on Becca’s team could handle this assignment.  Lexa was effective and lethal when she needed to be; she had risked her life to protect people in higher positions of power with total success.  But here she was, stuck in the living room of the loft of Clarke Griffin, a.k.a. Wanheda.

Lexa certainly didn’t imagine the level of determination and passion that the musician was showcasing.

Actually, Clarke Griffin was nothing like she assumed she would be in the first place.

 

Indra Blackwood, her coordinator, briefed Lexa on Clarke’s background and career. Lexa never worried about extracting more information about her clients than Indra provided unless it was strictly necessary for their protection.

In this kind of job, one needed to keep feelings chained and buried deep, remain at a distance, be invisible, nonexistent and protect their client.

 **Trikru Security** was sought by high-profile politicians, lawyers and even actors; basically anyone in need of top level protection. Everyone who belonged to Trikru had to pass several tests - including physical and psychological - in order to be part of the team. The team came from law enforcement, including the military and intelligence. Trikru Security was well known for its professionalism and discretion.

No wonder Arkadia Music Group contacted them and that’s how Lexa’s unit ended up here in DC to protect Wanheda on tour.

Wanheda was a name that was clearly unfamiliar to Lexa. She had no clue who her client was before she was assigned this mission. This was the first time she was involved with someone from the entertainment industry - the reason why she found it odd to be here in the first place. Lexa lacked experience in this area of security, and she viewed it one step above a babysitter for a spoiled brat.  Most of the news she found about Clarke Griffin involved the scandals that surrounded the name of Wanheda, of the wild redhead who smacked the hell out of her music competitor, Ontari Snow, a couple of months ago.

Lexa was expecting an arrogant, shallow artist based on the online articles.  But Wanheda’s appearance was different now; a big contrast with the fiery redhead who apparently, destroyed a suite in one of her crazy parties post-concert in San Francisco last year.

 

As soon as the blonde opened the door to her loft hours earlier, Lexa was met with someone who gave off a very domestic vibe, and in her underwear nonetheless. A very pretty, curvaceous, confident young woman, with a supple cleavage that made her mouth water at the sight. She did not look at those perky nipples straining against the material of her tank top either. That would be disrespectful on her part. Okay, she did peek one second though. She was human after all.

Still, Lexa felt as if she was punched by the beauty of the music artist, because she was gorgeous without an ounce of makeup or fancy clothes, like in some magazines she checked out before. Clarke and Wanheda looked nothing alike which was the reason to her initial and very bold comment.

_“I wouldn’t mind taking you out for breakfast if you were wearing some pants.”_

_Really? Who the hell would have said something so lame?_

Lexa cringed remembering her unprofessional behavior. She made a huge mistake and that couldn’t happen again. The blonde with pink hair, dimpled chin and beauty mark on the top of her lips was none other than her new client, ending any stupid fantasy Lexa could have regarding the blonde.

That wouldn’t be hard at all. In her career, Lexa had protected beautiful professional women in the past, attraction was a fleeting thing for her, and this would fade away just as fast.

 

“NO! You hired a nanny for me, Marcus!”

That angry shout brought Lexa back to her complex reality.

Clarke was furious, her hands balled into fists as she paced around her living room. “How dare you send this woman without even discussing it with me first!?”

Marcus sighed offering a sympathetic smile to Lexa who kept quiet, just listening and waiting for her time to intervene.

“Clarke, my intention wasn’t to surprise you or make you feel you had no choice here, but the label has been clear that you need to be protected, not just from the press but from the madness of your fanbase. Last night was dangerous, Clarke! The fans almost rammed us into the vehicle.”

Clarke scoffed shaking her head. “I can’t believe you did this behind my back! You lied to me!”  
“Clarke, this is an order from the label, and you need to accept it.”

“Like hell I will!” Clarke growled.

“Arkadia and I want what is best for you. This will be your first nationwide tour after the disaster of the third album. We’re relaunching your image to the audience and press. We need you to behave and focus on songwriting while we travel without worrying for your safety. That’s all.”

“I have managed just fine without a babysitter.” Clarke said with disdain throwing daggers at Lexa as if she had been involved in this betrayal from the start.

 

Lexa had to bite her tongue before she snapped, trying to remain as cool as possible, but her client was making it pretty hard when she was this furious and not wanting to hear anything Marcus had to say about the topic. Also, despite how Lexa felt about the assignment, she was no babysitter.

Alexandria Woods had a degree in criminal justice. She has trained in weapons and martial arts since she was 2.  There was absolutely no way she was going to be reduced to a simple companion for this girl.

“Ms. Griffin, I guarantee that my unit is very professional, and the last thing we want is to make you uncomfortable. Our job is not to babysit our clients. On the contrary, they are free to do as they wish as long as we’re aware of their movements beforehand.”

“I don’t care what you, Ms. Woods, or you Marcus, have to say. You ambushed me and left me no other choice!”

“Can you at least hear me out, Clarke.” Marcus insisted. “I know you value your privacy and that you feel that Lexa will be disturbing it. Indra, a good friend of mine works for Trikru Security, and she assured me that this team is the best. You won’t even know they are nearby.”

 _Oh, there it is._ Now that’s the real reason she was assigned this case.

“I promise you we’ll respect and keep all matters of your life private. We’re blind, deaf and mute when we’re with our clients.” Lexa added for good measure.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “I don’t even have a say, do I?” She turned to Marcus again. “You already hired them for the whole tour!”

“Yes, we’ll be working with Trikru Security for the duration of the tour, and Lexa’s’ team will begin today. She actually moved in the apartment below for that sole reason.” Marcus explained with as much tact as possible.

“What? She has to be even be my neighbor. What the hell? This is bordering on ridiculous! Marcus, I told you I wanted to feel free, not controlled by the label. That was our agreement, otherwise I would have kept Bellamy as my manager!”

“And you’re free to do as you like, Clarke. Don’t see this as the label imposing on you.”

“I don’t need another overprotective, controlling manager, Marcus. That’s why I signed with you and now you’re telling me this crap!?”

“Clarke, think of your mother. Abby will feel more at ease knowing that you’re safe. You know she worries when you have a performance. This is not just about you, but for her. You know, after you father-”

“Don’t you dare pull my dad’s card, Kane!” Clarke let out a long, tired exhale.

 

Lexa noticed the change right away. The hunched shoulders and the sadness in the infinite ocean of blue in the singer’s eyes. It was obvious that the father topic was off limits. For an instant Lexa felt a tiny connection between them, because she had felt that pain and loss over someone too.

“I guarantee that this is not about me keeping tabs on you, Ms. Griffin. As long as you’re our client, our priority is your safety and protection only. Wherever you go, we’ll go but never interfering in your daily life.”

“Whatever. You wanna tag along? Then you can start going to hell, right where I am!” With that, the blonde turned around and went back inside her bedroom.

 

“Sorry Lexa, this is my fault. I should have told her that you were already hired before this meeting.” Marcus seemed conflicted.

“Don’t worry sir. There’s no point dwelling on the past. Now our focus should be organizing a plan that fits with her activities as soon as possible.”

“Alright um, I’ll email you the information and thanks for your understanding. Hope the accommodations are good for you and your team.”

“They are sir.  Thank you for your confidence in Trikru Security.”

 

///

 

After that first tumultuous meeting, Lexa returned to her new humble apartment which was located strategically close to their client’s penthouse. Lexa felt troubled. She had never been dismissed like this by any client, treated as if she was unprofessional and a babysitter.

She shut the door and locked it behind her, carrying her frustration into her temporary home before they began the tour.

Her partner and sister from another mister, Anya Forrest, was already setting up their command center, as Lexa would like to call it and starting to plan their strategy to make sure they were ready to work. Wanheda’s crew was doing the final preparations for her upcoming tour in her hometown. It was important to get acquainted with their client to know her needs and schedule beforehand.  This preparation was going to take around a month, according to Indra’s information, so they could set up their routines to make it work around their new client’s hectic life.

 

Lexa dropped the apartment keys on the coffee table near the entrance and walked to the kitchen. With her deft hands, she pulled her tie off of her neck and released the top buttons of her shirt. She grabbed a kettle and put it on the stove while she made herself comfortable rolling the sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows.

The taller woman with asian features and dirty blonde hair perked her brow questioningly at her co-worker seeing the scowl in her face. “Stressed out already, Commander? We just got here.”

Lexa grabbed a mug from a box that still needed to be unpacked on the granite kitchen island and poured hot water for her tea. She returned to the living room and sat on the small sofa with her hot beverage in hand.

“The meeting was a disaster. Our client wasn’t aware of our contract and she took it badly. She thinks that we set her up or something.”

At that Anya stopped what she was doing with the tech equipment and looked at the younger woman who was clearly upset.

“That’s not on us, Lexa. Her manager should have debriefed her.”

“She won’t trust us, Anya. You know that in order to succeed our clients need to be able to trust in us. This is going to be messy from the start.”

Anya definitely caught the change in Lexa’s demeanor. This wasn’t the pragmatic woman that she befriended in their hometown of Polis who kept her cool at all times. It was obvious that Wanheda shook the foundations of her friend in some way.

“I mean, it’s a singer, what did you expect?”

Lexa shrugged. She had clearly no idea what she expected from Clarke Griffin. Because this hard-headed woman was not even close to what she read in her initial report.

“Hey, at least it’s not Justin Bieber.” Anya laughed.

Lexa rolled her eyes at the bad joke.

 

“Tell me about Wanheda. Is she as wild as she looks?” Asked Anya after a minute.

“She’s ummm… ” Lexa tried to find a word to describe Clarke Griffin. The wild, careless woman described in certain magazines wasn’t even close to what Lexa saw earlier. “She’s special.”

“How come?” Anya asked.

“I’m not sure. She had a kind and relaxed attitude right before she knew who I was. She closed off to me when Mr. Kane arrived to explain my presence in her penthouse. It is pretty contradictory.”

“I’ve read some more interviews and Wanheda is a troublemaker, a bad-mouthed musician with a snarky attitude, but she’s harmless overall.” Anya reached for several documents and passed them to Lexa. “We gotta check that other chick Ontari from Azgeda if we bump into her. It is clear there’s bad blood between them.”

Lexa scanned the info quickly trying to grasp her client’s current situation. “Azgeda is direct competitor of Arkadia. I think that Mr. Kane worries this tension might cause Ms. Griffin to do something reckless again, if what we read about that bar fight is 100% true.”

“I think we can take care of her without any issues, so relax woman! Keep your head cool, what’s the worst that could happen?”

 

That left Lexa thinking. Meeting Clarke Griffin had her gut tingling in a way that left her curious, intrigued to know more about the real Clarke.

Lexa was good at reading people. That was her job. Clarke left her confused, because it was clear there was a duality that existed in her - Clarke and Wanheda - both were one and the same and yet Lexa could tell that Wanheda was just the tip of the iceberg. There was so much more that wasn’t written in magazines or interviews about the woman who was her new client.

“I guess we’ll find out.” Lexa sighed in exhaustion. “Where are Lincoln and Quint? We need to begin setting up the standard protocol for Wanheda.”  
“Lincoln is getting the car we’ll be using. Quint, after bitching about being assigned to this job, I sent him to do recon around the perimeter to find emergency routes.”

Lexa nodded in approval. “Good. I’m going to the office to make a dossier about Ms. Griffin for the team. Let me know when Mr. Kane sends you the full schedule.”

“Yes, Commander!”

 

Lexa moved to the small room in the farthest part of their apartment where she set up her office. The curtains were opened offering a nice view to the city, the motions of cars and people below them gave her a vantage point of the building’s surroundings. Her bedroom had a nice balcony and seeing the magnificence from where she stood, Lexa imagined the view would be ten times more beautiful at night.

Lexa flicked on the lights of the lamp on the wooden desk located in the back of the room and opened her laptop.  She quickly typed the name of her client and immediately tons of articles appeared on her screen. To understand her client was a priority in order to provide the protection Arkadia was seeking.

Wanheda was the topic of many articles. Most discussed fashion, her love life and a bit about her musical prowess. All this information wasn’t helpful, not when there was also a woman named Clarke. Lexa’s job was to find a balance between the Wanheda identity and the actual person, Clarke.

Deciphering the mystery of the blonde’s life.

 

“A girl chasing the stars.” Lexa mumbled as she immersed herself into article after article, learning more about the musician. Of her rise to fame and how the press spoke about her -  if she gained weight or if she was seen with a new male friend. The headlines were nonstop, making Lexa ponder how could someone who had every minute of their life scrutinized could manage to have a normal life. Lexa lived among the shadows of their clients, it wasn’t difficult to go back to her usual activities once she was done, but for someone like Clarke there was no returning back to anonymity.

 _Only child, father passed away when she was a teen and her mother is a renowned surgeon_.

Lexa assumed Clarke was very close to her father that to this day it was a sore an emotional topic for her.

Next, Lexa played some videos of Wanheda’s more recent concerts to see what to expect and organize her team to be more efficient in a real life environment.

She had to drink her tea to keep her throat less dry. She was mesmerized by the way Clarke moved on stage as she played her guitar as if it was an extension of her body - confident, so sure of herself and in total control. Clarke knew how to drive the crowd crazy whenever she wanted. That smirk sent little shivers down Lexa’s spine and when she sang with her raspy, slightly deeper voice Lexa felt butterflies in her belly. Clarke Griffin couldn’t compete in range with other seasoned singers, but that voice was enough to drive anyone into orgasm.

Lexa recognized some songs she had heard on the radio, not that she ever was a fan or anything, but she had to concede that the tunes were catchy. Sadly, the press reported more about her latest conquests than her newest songs.

 

The private security expert spent the last hour watching as many videos as possible, reading the fans comments and understanding her client’s appeal. Some fans were pretty raw with their comments making the brunette blush by their bluntness. Clarke definitely had a very thirsty fanbase. Meaning that she had to pay attention whenever Clarke interacted with her fans. Someone might get a little bold and act upon their desires, hurting Clarke in the process.

“HEY!”

“Fuck, Anya! Knock, will you?” Lexa shut the laptop and sat up straighter. She had been caught completely immersed in a music video of Clarke rocking a song with tight leather pants and a shirt that showed cleavage that reminded her of this morning’s encounter.

Anya leaned on the doorframe, smug smile in place. “I did, several times actually, but you were in outer space.”

“I uh, I was researching.”

Anya chuckled. “Of course you were.”

Lexa threw her death glare. “Speak, Anya!”

“Mr. Kane sent the full schedule for this month. Tomorrow he’ll introduce the closest crew that are authorized to be near our client at their practice location. I already got the address.”

“Okay, great. Make sure Lincoln and Quint are ready. I’m going to finish writing the dossier and send it to your email so um, let’s take it easy for today and tomorrow we start.”

“Gotcha, Commander. Stay sharp.” Anya tapped her temple twice to remind Lexa of where her mind should be at all times before shutting the door behind her.

Lexa let out a long sigh. She was supposed to keep focused on understanding more of her client, but she ended up distracted and distractions were trouble in this business.

 

///

 

The bodyguard was walking through a long corridor where Wanheda’s crew was gathered practicing for their upcoming tour. She could hear the sound of drums and guitars from where she was, voices loud and certainly one that was already recognizable to her.

The deep, husky sound was smooth, enveloping Lexa in velvet and silk, making her heart actually beat to the song’s tempo. Lexa had to remind herself of her duty and ignored the way that voice made her feel. Exposed, even vulnerable.

Marcus opened the door allowing Lexa and her team inside the practice room.

There weren’t windows in this area, lots of speakers and microphones hung from the ceiling, the air conditioner was to the max, but the room felt warm with so many people inside. There was equipment everywhere, tables with drawings scattered around, people working on laptops and yet, everybody was so focused on their business that no one realized they had company.

 

The music stopped abruptly as Marcus clapped a couple of times demanding everyone to be silent.

“Hello everyone, before you continue the practice I’d like to introduce our new security team.” Marcus waited to have the full attention of the room.

Soon, as blue eyes crossed wtih Lexa’s green, the bodyguard noticed how the blonde rolled her eyes at her mere presence.

“They will join us during the tour so I expect you all cooperate with them.” Marcus smiled and nodded to Lexa signaling her to continue.

“I’m Lexa Woods, and these are my partners: Anya Forrest, Lincoln Meadows and Quint Steel. We’ll require your cooperation to know all the people in close contact with Ms. Griffin in order to keep everyone safe.”

 

“I think I can help you with that.” A woman with a simper smile and deep brown eyes stepped to the front. “I’m Raven Reyes, bestie of that dumbass on stage plus sound and light engineer at your service.” Raven moved slowly, the brace on her leg noticeable over her blue jeans, but that didn’t seem to bother the engineer who kept a nice welcoming smile on her face.

Lexa and her team followed the chirpy engineer around the room as she showed them the place. “Those two nerds in the corner are Jasper and Monty, who are our digital media experts. Basically their job is to promote and track the social media activity involving Wanheda and promote her in the interwebz.” Lexa took note of the lanky figure of the one called Jasper, who had for some unknown reason goggles over his head. On his side, an asian boy offered a tight lip smile in greeting.

Pointing to the band Raven continued. “Shorty and moody with blue eyes is Octavia Blake, our drummer. Guitar and backing vocalist is Harper McIntyre and bass is Zoe Monroe.”

“Who you calling short, Reyes!” Octavia snapped. The other two musicians waved at them. Raven chuckled ignoring her friend. “And baby blue eyes with pinky blonde hair at the front as you might already know is our Clarkey a.k.a. Wanheda.”

“Anyone else who is close to Ms. Griffin?” Lexa asked ignoring the already exasperated posture of the singer.

“Yeah, Bellamy Blake, who is inside the observation deck, is the assistant manager. We’re the ones who keep close to Clarke on a daily basis and while touring. The rest of the crew are not in contact with Clarke directly.  The wardrobe and makeup crew should be joining us soon.”

“Perfect. I’d like to know more about what to expect with the rest of the staff if possible.” Anya pulled out a notepad. “If you have time I’d like to discuss it further with you in private, Ms. Reyes.”

Raven shoved her hands inside her red jacket pleased by the attention. “I do have time right about now, and Raven is just fine Ms. Bodyfine err- bodyguard.”

Anya raised a brow, clearly intrigued by the straightforwardness of the latina woman. “Very well, Raven. Lead the way.”

“My pleasure.” Raven winked at Clarke and walked out of the practice area with Anya.

“Okay, enough of this nonsense. Let’s get back to practice!” Clarke ordered grabbing the microphone as she adjusted the strap of her acoustic guitar and got into position.

 

At Octavia’s signal the musicians began playing. Lexa, Lincoln and Quint joined Marcus inside the observation room. The music was less loud in here so it was easier to talk. Behind the glass panel it was perfect to watch everything going on outside in the practice room without being a bother to the band and crew.

“We already decided the order of the songs.” Bellamy told Marcus.

Marcus read the document provided by the assistant. “Very well, the fan favorite definitely should close the show. I think before the interlude we should go with the slow songs to give Clarke a rest vocally.”

“Ah okay, I can arrange that.”

“Mid-tour Clarke should be making a pause to record some new songs as well so make sure these possible interviews are farther apart.” Marcus pointed to the calendar Bellamy was showing him.

 

“She’s really good.” Lexa commented lost in Clarke’s performance, forgetting she was supposed to remain invisible. The way in which the blonde closed her eyes and simply let go, pouring her heart into the song filled Lexa with something akin to hope. Listening to Clarke live was definitely something different altogether. She sounded way better in person than in her videos.

“Clarke is very passionate about her craft. She’s a wonderful artist. I know she’s giving you a hard time but once she warms up to you, you’ll see Clarke is a kind-hearted woman.” Marcus added without any issue considering she was only there to offer protection and not her unsolicited opinion.

“I don’t doubt it, Mr. Kane. I understand that she’s very close with this family you have made and our presence is a disruption to that balance.”

Lexa was tapping her foot on the floor absentmindedly, the rhythm was contagious but Clarke’s voice was definitely the best. As soon as the bodyguard realized what she was doing, she changed her posture trying to avoid letting herself be distracted by the music.

 

“Clarke gives too much of herself to her fans, and I’m afraid she won’t be able to recognize a dangerous situation one of these days. I need you to keep your eyes on her for that sole reason.” Marcus commented as he listened with satisfaction the work of the band.

“Marcus, do you think hiring these people for Clarke was the right thing? I had already contacted a good security team.” Bellamy crossed his arms in front of his chest, his brown eyes narrowed as he observed Lexa with mistrust. “Hiring two chicks to protect Clarke?”

“I assure you Mr. Blake that Ms. Griffin will be safe under our protection.” Lexa stood up not liking the way this guy was doubting her team.  Clarke having doubts was one thing, but this man? No way in hell.

Quint grunted, and Lincoln eyed Bellamy as in _oh no, you didn’t_. They wouldn’t interfere, leaving their leader to handle this man.

“Bellamy, I trust her. Indra sent me the best team. and I know Clarke is in good hands. So don’t worry about that and focus on putting the show together instead.” Marcus said with a tone that didn’t give space for more arguments. Bellamy scoffed and walked outside to continue his work.

“Sorry about that. They’re always so concerned about Clarke. All of them have a special bond.”

Lexa returned to her seat. “I get it. They care for her, and we’re nothing but strangers, but you have my word that I won’t let anything bad happen to her.”

For some reason Lexa was more than determined to prove all of these people that she was more than enough to keep Clarke safe.

 

At the end of the practice Lexa approached the singer who was packing her acoustic guitar into its black case. Everyone was left to their own devices - some drinking water in the back of the room and others having a nice chat.

Clearing her throat to announce her presence Lexa waited until Clarke raised her eyes and met hers.

“Ms. Griffin, I can help you with that. Lincoln is already outside to drive you wherever you need.” Lexa offered with the politeness expected of her.

“No thanks and no one touches this guitar.” Clarke closed the lid once the guitar was stored safely inside and then stood up. “I’m not going anywhere with you or your people. I don’t need you.” Clarke said ignoring Lexa again.

Lexa tried to keep calm. “Ms. Griffin, that’s not up for discussion. You need to follow the protocol we established with Mr. Kane. We’re responsible for your safety, and I’m in charge.”

That made Clarke look back at Lexa. “Excuse me? Now you give me orders?”

Lexa shook her head, her patience already running low with the blonde testing it. “Ms. Griffin, that’s not what I-”

“I’m not going anywhere with you. Is that clear, _Ms. Woods_?” Clarke stepped close to Lexa’s personal space, not giving an inch.

Lexa was taken aback by such stubbornness and defiance. She had never ever encountered a client that rejected their services with as much insistency as Clarke. This woman was driving her crazy already.

 

“Lexa!” Anya returned with Raven. “I got all the info we need to begin background checks. Raven was very helpful.” Anya offered a thankful small smile.

“Yooooo Griff.” Raven looped her arm around Clarke’s shoulders easing the tension of her childhood friend and pulling her a couple of feet away from Lexa. “Why don’t we let aah, Lincoln right? drive us to your place and we can watch some movies there to chill?” Raven waited for the blonde’s answer.

“Alright.” Clarke grabbed her guitar case and eyed Lexa again. “Lead the way, _Woods_.”

Lexa twitched her jaw, keeping her rigid composure, but she was so damn close to losing it. Still, she kept her mouth shut.

 

///

 

The drive back to Clarke’s apartment had been short thankfully. Lexa was riding shotgun while Lincoln maneuvered the black Escalade through the streets of DC. Anya followed them behind in another car as protocol dictated with Quint.

The music playing on the radio was low, allowing Clarke and Raven to have their own conversation in the back of the car. Lexa and Lincoln kept silent and watchful, their bodies always on alert. Lexa could feel the presence of her client, the strange uneasiness between them. Lexa could get attuned to her clients’ body language in around a week as she followed them, but Clarke had clicked right away with her, and not in the best way possible. Lexa could read her aggressive body language with ease. Clarke didn’t make it difficult to read her disdain for the bodyguard. But beneath the indifference towards them, she could sense that there was something deeper that Clarke Griffin hid from the world and her friends. It wasn’t Lexa’s job to discover it though, her only job was to keep the musician from harm’s way, not to dig about her personal life or much less, discover why those baby blue eyes sometimes looked sad.

Suddenly the radio host announced the latest single of Ontari Snow, and of course, the brunette didn’t waste the opportunity to get back at Clarke in some way. Lexa increased the volume, and Clarke huffed angrily, but the woman was so stubborn that she didn’t ask her to change the radio station. Lexa was fairly amused by how adamant was Clarke. This was going to become a battle of wits if they didn’t find a way to peacefully coexist soon.

 

Once they reached their destination, Lexa quickly opened the door for Clarke and Raven escorting them up to the elevators. Anya and Quint arrived a minute later as Lincoln parked the car.

“Hope you have a pleasant evening. If you need anything else, this is my phone number.” Lexa offered her business card, and Raven was swift to take it with a smile seeing the lack of reaction from Clarke. “Mr. Kane already provided me with yours in case we need to communicate.” Lexa told Clarke. “Miss Re- err, Raven, if your friend here needs to go out, I need to be informed first. Call or text anytime, I’ll be waiting.” Lexa said to Raven instead of wasting her breath with Clarke.  She already knew she was being ignored again.

“Gotcha!” Raven waved goodbye as the door close. “Thank you Lexa, Anya and the hunks. See you around!”

Lexa and Anya made it back to their own apartment to call it a night.

 

“I can’t.”

Lexa slumped in the couch while Anya was in the kitchen making them dinner.

“You can’t what?” Anya asked before testing the tomato sauce she was preparing.

“Clarke is so frustrating! I’m trying my best, but she’s testing my patience!”

“I wouldn’t mind dealing with your annoying singer when she has such hot lady friends.”

Lexa perked her brow not amused by her friend. “Anya, you know that we cannot have distractions. To be a bodyguard is to be alone.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know what Titus said to you before you enrolled in the company. I was there, but it doesn’t hurt to watch, you know? Or touch...”

“Anya! Please tell me you haven’t done anything with any of them.”

Anya laughed stirring the sauce. She wiped her hands with a towel and turned the stove off. “Relax, Lex. I know we can’t mix business and pleasure. I know where my head is, but it seems you don’t know where yours is.” Anya began filling two dishes with pasta and adding a bit of sauce to each plate before walking to the small table in their living room.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Lexa grabbed her fork and inhaled the delicious aroma of Anya’s dish before sinking her teeth into her meal.

“My young padawan. Wanheda is messing with you, and you’re letting her.” Anya teased.

Lexa huffed. “She’s being a pain in the ass!”

“Be the better person, Lexa. I know that sometimes our clients aren’t easy to work with. They can be full of themselves, too boring or in extreme danger. Wanheda is none.”

Lexa kept quiet.

“We’re going to be working with her for around what? Seven months? Ten? If you want to return to Trikru and tell Becca you can’t handle Clarke then do it. If you can’t reel in your emotions, then go. I taught you to be better than this, Lexa.” Anya used that tone she always did the younger woman when she was in mentor mode. After all, Anya was the one who took Lexa under her wing the first time a toddler Lexa had been left on her care. Anya was also the one who stood by her when she decided to quit her desk job at the Polis Police Department and join Trikru Security.

“I know, An. I understand what I have to do and I will. I don’t like it, but I’ll deal with her.”

Anya gave her a quick nod satisfied to hear that response.

 

After the long day Lexa knew she had to speak with Clarke Griffin again and try to clear the misunderstanding between them. Otherwise this job could turn hellish instead. She had protected several men and women of extreme importance in her younger years with success. She barely crossed words with the clients she had because her presence was supposed to be imperceptible to them. Her duty was to ensure their protection and yet, being with the singer was already taxing her spirit.

The sole persona of the blonde was distracting Lexa. Her raspy voice whenever she sang made her feel uncomfortable, it was as if she could almost reach her heart. A heart that she kept tightly closed and heavily guarded.

This job demanded Lexa to feel nothing. Her life wasn’t hers anymore as long as she was tied to a contract. Her duty was to step in and take a bullet for whomever paid the most.

Lexa buried her face in her pillow trying to forget how awful the day had been and get a good night's sleep. Trying to erase how annoying her new client was.

Little by little sleep came and with it, the dreams that haunted the bodyguard on a daily basis, dreams of pain and guilt.  That was until a blue star crashed on the ground shaking the world as Lexa knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

After the excruciating day, Clarke thought it was a great idea to try to write so she moved to her studio to focus on composing. She tried out different chords with her acoustic guitar that her father gave her on her thirteenth birthday. She was barefoot, seated on a comfy lounge chair with the guitar resting comfortably in her lap. Her fingers moved with purpose over the strings as she created new snippets of music that could turn into full melodies.

On a nearby coffee table was her old, battered moleskine where she wrote song lyrics. The item where she poured her thoughts and bared her soul - trying to come up with something new to work with, but at the moment Clarke was going through a writer’s block.

She couldn’t write good songs, not after her latest album ended up being a failure. She knew that she had to change to a new style, more bold and honest instead of angry and bitter. This new relaunch of her image was stressing the hell out of her, but it was needed to freshen up her career that had been nonstop since she was a young adult.

Clarke wished she could find anything to write about. She tried to focus but it was impossible because she always wrote with her heart, and it was now bleeding resentment and loneliness.

What hope did she have where every aspect of her life was looked with a magnifying glass to be criticized? Clarke had built herself an armor to withstand the harshness of the music industry but not even Wanheda could handle it all on her own.  It still hurt sometimes.

She is living the life she dreamed of as a young girl, and yet, she feels more alone than ever. It’s such a complicated existence when Wanheda has taken over her life.

 

_DING DONG_

The sound of the doorbell announced a visitor. Her senses tingled immediately thinking of her newly acquired bodyguard who had become a constant presence wherever she went. She left her guitar back in its leather case and went to open the door to see what someone wanted from her this time.

She opened the door, and she was not mistaken. In front of her was Lexa Woods dressed to the nines as if life was a runway - this time without a tie, which left her button up top buttons wide open revealing a bit of her collarbones that peeked above the line of her v-neck white undershirt.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Griffin. Sorry to disturb you in your free time, but I do really need to speak with you.” Lexa always spoke so proper, the epitome of politeness, her posture in parade rest was also impeccable, probably through years of discipline in this line of work. Her face stoic, never showing a hint of emotion and eyes so cold and guarded it was almost scary. Well, it would have been scary if Clarke hadn't seen a grin the first time she met her with her own eyes. At least, Clarke knew there was actually blood running through her veins.

 

Clarke stepped back and opened the door wider allowing the woman to come inside her home. “Why are you here, Ms. Woods? I thought everything you had to discuss about my life was with my manager.” Clarke couldn’t help but throw a jab at the bodyguard.

The only reaction she obtained was a slight clench of Lexa’s jaw.  Otherwise, Lexa did not seem to be bothered by the comment. Lexa Woods was always in control, and Clarke was more than willing to test that restraint.

“Ms. Griffin, about that. I swear we had nothing to do with the decision to enter the contract behind your back. I’m here to make sure that we’re both standing together in this. The past few days have been a period of adjustment, but I know we can improve our business relationship if we’re honest with each other.”

Clarke shut the door with the heel of her foot and invited Lexa to sit on the brown L-shaped leather couch positioned in the middle of the wide living room; at the center there was a glass table and in front a huge TV. The cream colors of the walls and white curtains were enough to create enough light in the room and made it look brighter and lively. There were family photographs hung on the walls and sitting on the side tables. Clarke could see Lexa’s eyes taking it all in, always in a quietness that sometimes seemed predatory. Like a wolf studying its prey.

 

“I think we can start by dropping the formalities here, don’t you think?” Clarke joined Lexa on the couch.

“Of course, Miss- Clarke. Whatever makes you comfortable when we’re in private.” Lexa tested the name, and it made the musician feel funny inside hearing Lexa say it reverently, in that very particular way of hers.

“Lexa, then. What do you wanna talk about?”

Lexa licked her lips, measuring her words before speaking. Lexa was the kind of woman who didn’t waste time speaking nonsense. She was always so eloquent as Clarke was starting to learn. “I know that this isn’t what you wanted, Clarke. You have been more than clear of how much you hate our presence, but you and I are both tied contractually for as long as your tour lasts, which of course is going to be taxing on us.”

“This is the first time I think you and I can agree on something.”

“We’re going to be together for some time and to be of service we need to learn about you, Clarke. I understand if this feels invasive, but my goal here is to get to know _you_ to make the best decisions on your behalf.”

“Alright, so what do you wanna know?” Clarke wondered exactly how much she wanted to share with this woman. She turned around and sat with her legs crossed, knowing that this might take some time, so why not get more comfortable?

“Do you consume any kind of drugs?”

Clarke burst in laughter, but seeing that Lexa wasn’t joking by the stern expression on her face, she stopped. “Really?”

“Yes, I need to know if my team needs to be ready to handle a possible medical emergency.”

“No, no drugs. Just booze for me. Geez, you believed that crap about me overdosing?”

“I’m in no position to judge, Clarke. I’m not here to believe or not believe the rumors of the press, but to learn from you. That’s all.” Lexa typed in a tablet she pulled from the small case she brought with her. “Do you have a significant other that we should be aware of?”

Clarke scoffed. “What kind of questions are these, Lexa?”

“I just want to make sure that we’re aware of your partners to provide protection for you both. I understand that your um, past relationship with Mr. Collins wasn’t kept private as it should have been. My commitment to you is at least give you as much privacy as possible if you wish to pursue something.”

“No one at the moment. A dalliance here and there though.”

Lexa gulped down as she typed in her tablet; of course a woman as gorgeous as Clarke was going to have lovers aplenty. “Do you have names for me? I’d like to conduct background checks if possible to-”

“Nope.”

Lexa nodded and didn’t push any further.

 

The questioning went on for about another 30 minutes until Lexa had typed everything she needed to know about the singer and the people close to her.

Clarke took that moment to really appreciate the details of Lexa Woods. Her jawline was to die for, and she had very slim long fingers that moved hastily as she typed on the electronic device. Her eyes were always bright, her intense deep gaze was penetrating but also very guarded; her hair looked so smooth to the touch. Clarke had to wonder what would it feel like to lace her fingers through those chestnut waves of hair.

 

“According to your itinerary, you and your mother will meet for dinner later. Quint will make a sweep of the restaurant that you selected right before we take you there, Clarke. Lincoln and Anya will be here to pick you up an hour before, and we’ll follow behind.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic!” Clarke said without emotion. “Do you really need to make every simple thing so extra? It’s just dinner with my mom!”

Lexa tilted her head slightly, and Clarke had to admit that was adorable. “I ah, I’m not sure what you mean by extra, but that’s our protocol. You’re a huge celebrity, and social media is a double edge sword. As soon as people in the restaurant spot you and upload a picture, the press will show up and possibly even fervent fans. Our mission is to make your activities less stressful, and securing the place is extremely important to avoid unwanted attention.” Lexa finally stood up from the couch putting away her tablet.

Clarke giggled. “A huge celebrity yet you had no idea who I was before, Lexa.”

Amazingly, that made Lexa blush, and it was beautiful. “I- I’m sorry, I’m not um, invested in the music industry. My area of expertise is politics and law enforcement and ahm, you were a redhead before.” Lexa rubbed the back of her neck clearly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t expecting you to be a fan or anything.”

Lexa quirked her lips just the slightest, but that was a win in Clarke’s book.

“Anything else?”

“No, that will be all. Thank you, Ms. Griffin.”

 

///

 

Practices were extended during the final week before they began the tour. Everybody was working hard to have the show ready to blow the minds of the thousands of fans that would fill each venue.

The musicians practiced with vigor. The PR team distributed behind the scene pictures and posted them on social media to engage the fanbase and excite them about the tour performances. Raven was working on the new light beams that she would be using for the concerts to immerse the fans in a new amazing experience full of colors with incredible sound.  Marcus arranged for interviews along the way to boost Clarke’s presence to the press while Bellamy was already on the way with the rest of the crew to begin setting up the stage in their first city.

All the crew was pumped and hoping to have a successful tour and in the middle of this madness was the star.

 

“I’m really excited for this tour to begin. I’m still amazed that everything has been sold out so I cannot thank you enough for your support.” Clarke smiled at the cellphone that was being held by Monty in front of her as Clarke did a brief Periscope with her fans. “We’re preparing some amazing surprises for you guys.”

Marcus signed Clarke to end the live feed from the corner of the room. Her schedule was full this week, and Marcus had to keep her moving to make all of her commitments.

“I love you too, guys. I’ll see you all soon. Much love.” Clarke threw a kiss to the camera, and Monty stopped the recording.

“Alright, we’re done. The numbers of the interactions look pretty good.” Monty informed. “I already can see lots of mentions on Twitter.”

“Great, Monty.” Marcus smiled at the media team before checking back on Clarke to see if she was ready. “Let’s go Clarke. We need to meet with the tailor to finish the wardrobe. Tomorrow, hair and makeup will take care of you to prepare your final look.”

 

As the blonde started to follow her manager to the tailor, she immediately felt the presence of the brunette with the most inquisitive green eyes she had ever seen, who had been her shadow for the past three weeks. Sometimes Lexa was nowhere to be seen and yet, Clarke could feel her close. It was as if she was attuned to her, more than the others. Because Anya, Quint and Lincoln also were there, yet the one she felt was Lexa. It was weird, and yes, Lexa was right. She was getting used to being followed day and night by the group in black suits, but still, it was bothersome. More so because Lexa Woods made her feel exposed. Almost as if with her wise emerald eyes she could see beyond her walls and see her naked truth.

Someone who actually could see her as Clarke and not Wanheda.

Maybe it was due to something in the air that shifted, possibly the aroma of her floral perfume with a mixed base of vanilla and coffee that reminded her of long forgotten family mornings laughing with her mom and dad and enjoying each other’s company.

Whatever it was, Clarke was fighting for dear life to stop this edginess around the leader of the _Grounders_ , which was the name that was used to refer to the security team.

 

The manager guided Clarke to the lower floor of the busy building where the band was having their regular practices to meet the tailor who designed the latest costumes for the rock artist.

As they walked out of the lift, they reached the doors that led them to a small office where her tailor was waiting. Marcus greeted the tailor before he returned to deal with the pending deals before their departure.

Clarke entered the designated fitting room after Quint checked swiftly for hidden cameras or unwanted people with Lexa close behind. The bodyguard waited in the corner, leaning against the wall with her arms and legs crossed.  Her eyes immediately scanned the room, and she stayed vigilant.

“Okay, try out these new pants to see how they look, the fabric can be stretched a bit more versus the previous model so it will be comfortable for you to wear while you walk or run around stage.” The tailor indicated passing the pants to the blonde.

The blonde didn’t waste time to remove her ripped jeans and change behind the curtain set to provide privacy.

 

“Feels comfy.”

She tried on pants after pants while the tailor took measurements and adjusted here and there to mold them to her curves.

Standing on a platform, Clarke modeled in front of a triple floor-to-wall mirror turning around to look at her body at all possible angles. “I like this one. Looks tight but doesn’t strangle my crotch.” Clarke caught Lexa’s eyes through the mirror focused on her booty, and she really did have to wonder if this was a signal from the bisexual heavens that her initial flirting the first day she met the woman had not been her imagination.

The blonde leaned a bit, curving her ass way more in the bodyguard’s direction just to test this idea.

“Won’t rip apart either. I love it!”

 

Lexa kept her composure at all times, however, she couldn’t avoid glossing over the figure of the singer.  She was weak, so damn weak for pretty girls.

“What do you think, Lexa?” Clarke asked with a cocky smile turning around on the platform to model the fitted pants to the bodyguard.

“I- I don’t know, Ms. Griffin. I’m not here to offer my opinion.” Lexa changed the weight on her feet and stood up away from the wall to put more distance between her and the singer.

“I’m asking you, Ms. Woods. I’d like to hear an honest opinion from someone who is not a fan or a suck-up.”

Lexa cleared her dry throat and replied as expected with her usual nonchalant voice. “Blue enhances the color of your eyes. Your fans are going to like it, Ms. Griffin.”

“I think I’m keeping this one. Gonna try it with that black sleeveless shirt for the first half of the concert.” Clarke jumped down off the platform.  Before going back into the dressing room, she eyed Lexa.

“My bodyguards should have more of a sense of style. Could you make a suit for Ms. Woods and her grounders as well?” Clarke asked the tailor.

“Aah, that won’t be necessary Ms. Griffin. We have plenty of suits.” Lexa replied.

“Nope, I won’t take no for an answer, Lexa. Please Bryan, take Ms. Woods’s measurements and make a nice suit for her. It’s on the house!”

Bryan took out his measurement tape and notepad. “A black suit like the one she wears?”

Clarke parted her lips studying Lexa’s slim figure. “Sure, keep the lines of the blazer, but change the colors of the ensemble. I think it might give them some life instead like looking like the secret service.”

Clarke finished changing into her regular clothes. “I’ll be outside with Quint.”

Lexa nodded in defeat and walked to the platform so Bryan could take her measurements first.

What Lexa didn’t know is that Clarke had no intention to go out through the front door again to meet Quint.

 

///

 

The blonde walked outside through the emergency backdoor at the end of the hall avoiding Quint, whom she despised. Between the four grounders, Quint was the one who never hesitated to show her his disdain in return.

She slid her Ray Ban sunglasses over the tip of her nose and wore a hat to keep her face hidden from possible fans.

She was just a couple of minutes away from her favorite coffee shop in town. One she frequented since she was a kid, and she really needed some time for herself away from everyone, including the brunette that was starting to be the new normal in her life.

 

The **Sky Box** was in the heart of DC. Clarke pushed the double glass doors and immediately her nostrils were filled with the aroma of the coffee beans. The dim lights inside were comfortable, giving enough illumination to the shop. Little wooden tables and chairs were scattered around to allow the patrons to take a seat and work on their laptops. The walls were filled with metallic pieces of art giving it the look of an old spacecraft, which was reason why they used soft earth colors on the wall and mosaics on the floor. The coffee shop felt like a second home to Clarke.

Clarke walked to the cashier ignoring her cellphone’s constant ringing, knowing full well who was calling her and smiled as she met her long-time friend behind the counter.

 

“Hey Wells, how’s it going?” Clarke pulled out from her wallet a 20$ and immediately placed it on the counter.

“Griffin is back! The usual?” Wells took the money and began pressing buttons on the cash register.

“Yup, you know it Wells.”

“I thought you'd be busy. Saw on TV you’re having some big concerts nationwide. That’s cool.” Wells handed Clarke her change, and the blonde left a good tip in the jar half filled with dollars.

“I am, but I needed a break so I came here to decompress.” Clarke said as a matter of fact and moved to wait for her order at the end of the counter.

After a couple of minutes Wells personally handed her the order, and she sat at one of the tables located at the back of the shop where she could have more privacy. She wrote her first songs right in this corner.

 

“Mmm, still the best mochaccino in all the country.” Clarke hummed drinking a sip of her beverage.

The tall man decided to join her friend at the small table for a while. “How’s life Clarke?”

“All is good, Wells. What’s up with you? It’s been some time since we chatted face to face.”

The man shrugged with his wide shoulders. “Yup, a long time Clarke. We barely text each other as it is.”

“Yeah, I uh, I’m sorry I suck as a friend Wells.”

“I know you’re very busy. You’re a big star. I should hang that pic of us playing chess to attract more clients to the shop!” Wells quipped. “Don’t worry though, Raven keeps me up to date.”

“Oh totally! Gotta reap the benefits of this friendship.” Clarke curved the corner of her lips, feeling a bit less stressed from all the intense work. “Raven might be exaggerating things, so my advice is to not listen much to her.”

“So it’s false that you’re surrounded by hot ladies in black? I’d like to be introduced asap!”

“Hot yes, but also broody and dangerous as fuck.” _Hopefully into women too_ , Clarke thought.

Wells cackled in laughter.

 

After Wells controlled the fit of laughter caused by the blonde, he took her hand and looked at her with deep concern. “Clarke, are you happy? I know that you’re singing and doing what you like, but sometimes when you smile on TV it looks pretty, ummm... fake?”

Shrugging, Clarke kept drinking from the large plastic cup before giving an answer. “Yeah, I am. Guess it’s just the pressure.”

“Is Marcus being a pain in the ass or Bellamy?” Wells tried to guess but Clarke shook her head.

“Not really, it’s just that the label has huge expectations for my new album and I uh, I haven’t been able to write anything in months, you know? It’s like when things ended with Finn I lost myself. I know it sounds stupid, but that’s how I feel.”

Understanding, Wells nodded. “You gotta be patient Clarke. I know you’ll get back on track soon. It’s not stupid at all to feel like this when you barely have had time to heal your broken heart.”

Clarke perked her brow. “You think so? Because right now my inspiration is null. My muse went on vacation and has not returned. Arkadia expects me to deliver a new song in a couple of months, and I can’t even write a damn line!” Clarke slumped in the chair burying her face in her hands, disappointed with her failure to write new material.

Wells offered a big smile trying to infuse his friend with optimism. “I promise you that you’ll be struck with inspiration when you least expect it.”

Clarke lifted her head to look at Wells. “Really? Well, if that’s the case my muse can enter right now through that damn door!”

 

The chimes hung above the main door rang as someone pushed through the double doors in a hustle.

Instantly, Clarke knew who it was as the air shifted around them, and the voices that spoke low went completely silent for a tense second.

“Oh shit!” Clarke turned around to meet the brunette looking like a goddess in the middle of a warzone ready to strike. Her pursed lips and clear disapproving frown were enough to let Clarke know Lexa was beyond pissed.

Smiling, Wells moved towards the brunette and offered his hand to greet the bodyguard seeing that his friend was mumbling curses under her breath without any intention to introduce the mysterious woman.

“Hello, I’m Wells Jaha, a good friend of Clarke, and I gotta say you got some timing.”

“Ha ha, funny as usual Wells.” Clarke scoffed with sarcasm.

“I’m Lexa Woods, Clarke’s personal security. Nice meeting you, Mr. Jaha.” Lexa shook her hand with a strong grip not happy to see Clarke with this man without her knowledge.

“It’s only Wells, Mr. Jaha is my old man.” Wells added. “Alright then, I ah, gotta get back to work. Nice chat, Griffin and your muse went through that door right on time. Ladies in black, I totes get it now.” Wells pranked, moving back to the counter to continue tending to other patrons.

“Still not funny Wells!” Clarke pouted.

 

“Why are you like this?” Lexa approached her client with what Clarke considered her permanent scowl now that Wells was out of hearing distance. “Is it really hard for you to text me that you’re leaving?”

Clarke rolled her eyes and stood up from her chair. She finished her mochaccino before addressing the brunette. “I needed some time alone. No big deal, Lexa.”

Lexa raised her brows as if offended. “No big deal? I get you don’t care about me or my people, but this is our job, Clarke! I’m supposed to know where you are at all times, but this is not the first time you have snuck away and ditched us! When I was done with Bryan, Quint had no idea where you were, Clarke!”

“Lexa, chill. I just wanted a coffee. Besides, Quint doesn’t give a shit about me so-”

“Have I done something to you? Seriously, Clarke. Have I offended you or done anything disrespectful that you keep doing this to _me_?” Lexa asked sincerely and Clarke felt bad.

 

Clarke removed her shades so she could look at Lexa in the eye. “I’m sorry okay? I just… this is something that I can’t get used to yet. Having you and your people walking behind me all the time is annoying. I feel I can’t breathe. I wanted some space.”

“I get it, but we need to communicate better, Clarke. If you want space I’ll give it to you, but I need to know first if you want to leave the premises. If something happened to you I...”

Whatever Lexa was going to say she closed her mouth right away. By the slight emotion that coursed through the woman in those seconds Clarke knew Lexa had more layers to reveal. Clarke recognized that pain because that’s how she felt when she lost her dad.

Clarke nodded filled with a guilty conscience. She knew that Lexa’s team jobs were on the line, and she was being selfish not considering those things. The least she could do was compromise.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make sure to let you know where I’m going from now on.”

 

Lexa touched the bluetooth headset she had in her ear. “I got her An. Yes, send Lincoln right away.”

Suddenly people began to point at Clarke, several already recognizing her. It was going to take 5 seconds for those pictures to be online. She had to get out of here before paparazzi flooded this place.

“I wanna go back to my apartment.” Clarke told Lexa.

“We’re back to base.” Lexa announced in her earpiece to the rest of her team.

Lincoln didn’t take more than a couple of minutes to reach their location. Clarke waved to some fans after signing and taking some selfies under the scrutinizing gaze of Lexa before departing back home.

 

///

 

On her balcony, Clarke enjoyed the scenery of the sunset, holding the neck of a cold beer bottle in her hand. After all the practice and preparation, the tour was about to begin. That meant a full commitment to her work schedule, pushing aside her personal life to become Wanheda once again.

The pressure to release a new album next year when she had zero content was making her anxious. There was so much at stake - her career and with it her hopes and dreams.

She finished the rest of her beer when she heard voices arguing close by. Clarke walked to the edge of her balcony filled with curiosity and realized that it was from Lexa’s assigned apartment.

“We have to do better!” Lexa said with fury to the three people, all taller than her, standing at the receiving end of her anger. “There is absolutely no excuse. You missed her, Quint! You’re not even trying.”

“That sneaky bit-”

He didn’t have a chance to finish. Lexa was over him pushing her forearm on his neck trapping him against the wall.

“That is the last time you refer to her like that, Quint.” Lexa growled right in his face.

That had to be the most intimidating scene Clarke had ever witnessed. There was no discussion or doubt of who was in charge. It was scary but also it turned her on seeing such a display of power.

“Argh… Co- co-mander.” Quint spoke choppy, his windpipe almost crushed by the brunette.

“Lexa. It won’t happen again. Clarke is very resourceful, gotta hand her that. Let him go.” Anya rested her hand over Lexa’s arm and after a second, she released her grip.

“We need to keep a triangulation to make this work; otherwise she will keep sneaking out right under our noses. I’m not going to allow another failure. Understood?”

Everyone nodded, even Quint.

 

Lexa dismissed the men and turned around to rest her hands on the balcony, taking deep calming breaths.

“You’re worried.” Anya joined Lexa on the balcony.

Lexa sighed and looked at the expansive view of the city beneath them. “What if I fail again? If a miss something and…”

“Gustus made his choice, squid. Not you.”

 

Okay, this was a conversation that she shouldn’t listen to. Clarke returned inside her living room, closing the sliding door behind her and decided to go for a shower.

Clarke was puzzled by Lexa. Most of the time she was strict control, zero emotions, and others? Lexa’s eyes glowed with so much emotion it was hard not to get lost in her stare.

There was much more to Lexa than the disciplined bodyguard. Clarke hoped to peel away all of the layers of the pretty brunette.

After all, she was going to spend the next months of her life close to her. Time is what she had to uncover the real Lexa Woods because the Infinity Tour was here.


	4. Chapter 4

Nothing in her life could have prepared Lexa for the madness that surrounded her as protector of Clarke Griffin, also known to her fans as Wanheda.

The tour began in Orlando, Florida with a massive attendance of more than 10,000 fans.

This assignment far exceeds the challenges of guarding a politician. Lexa could deal with rogue assassins easier than with crazy, madly in love fans who tried to do anything to touch their idol, to take a selfie or even share a hug. Lexa couldn’t punch people in the face here. She had to restrain herself and shield Clarke as much as she could with her body as they moved her client around the airport, and everywhere else the blonde went.

And the tour had just begun.

 

Lexa and Anya had to remain extremely close to move Clarke from the hotel to the stadium for her first performance. Lincoln and Quint tried to clear the way through the lobby and parking area to make it easier for Lexa and Anya as they left the hotel, but it was extremely difficult with so many boys and girls of all ages gathered outside for a glimpse while shouting Wanheda’s name. The flashes of the cellphones and cameras almost blinded them.

Still, Lexa noticed how Clarke always kept a smile on her face and waved to as many people as possible during her transport from the hotel to the venue, never dismissing a fan.  The conditions didn’t seem to matter, Clarke always shined.

 

Inside the concert hall all seats were packed, fans shouting and screaming to the top of their lungs, surrounding a special stage.  Clarke had insisted on a stage that allowed her more direct interaction with the audience. The proximity between Clarke and her fans during the concert made Lexa nervous.  Lexa was sweating already. Underneath the blue suit, courtesy of Clarke Griffin herself, her button up was already drenched in sweat. The skinny black tie felt as if it were constricting her windpipe. Her blue pants weren’t so tight that they stuck to her skin yet. Good thing Bryan used a more elastic material in case of a fight; she could move freely with this fabric versus the classic material of her regular suits made of cheap nylon and cotton.

She wiped the sheen of sweat from her forehead with her forearm and checked on her team.

“Grounders, what’s your status?” Lexa pressed the small earpiece to communicate with her team.

 _“Commander, grounder 3 in position. All staff has been cleared in the parking lot. I’m on standby to move the car.”_ Lincoln reported.

 _“Grounder 4 in position. Journalists have been escorted out of the press room.”_ Quint answered.

“Alright, keep your eyes open. Lots of sneaky fans might try to get an unauthorized pass backstage.” Lexa took a deep breath.  This was clearly not her turf.

Behind the stage people were moving up and down the corridors, everyone from the sound technicians to the special effects people were getting ready to begin.

Anya was outside Clarke’s dressing room whilst the artist had her prep-time, blocking the way of anyone who wasn’t authorized. Meanwhile, Lexa kept her eyes on anyone that might not have the assigned ID’s in the general backstage area and making sure the environment was always safe for Clarke to move about freely without any danger.

 

The fans starting chanting what seemed to be the title of one of Clarke’s songs while they waited for the big moment. The lights on stage turned off, and the screams increased tenfold, all 10,000 screaming Wanheda in unison.

“Alright everyone in positions we are starting in 5!” Bellamy was walking around with a notepad marking his final checklist, speaking through the headset he carried and giving orders to the rest of the technical team.

The adrenaline could be felt in the corridor. Octavia, Monroe and Harper were stretching their limbs and getting ready for the show before Bellamy ordered them to move to their starting positions on the stage.

A minute later Anya appeared escorting Clarke who was dressed with her hair and makeup on point and took Lexa’s breath away. Her eyes glued to the tight ripped jeans that enhanced her beautiful silhouette, then moved to the shirt Clarke was wearing, a white long sleeve shirt with the name **WANHEDA** written in black bold letters on the front, and as her eyes kept moving up she met the deep cleavage of the shirt. Lexa snapped out of her reverie and moved her eyes up to meet Clarke’s blue eyes staring back at her.

The makeup she wore was very colorful with metallic colors like platinum and gold, enhancing the color of her eyes. Her hair was tied up in a french braid. Clarke or in this case Wanheda was simply stunning.

Lexa approached the singer to take her position in front of Wanheda while Anya kept the back protected as they executed the escorting protocol.

 

“Here you go, Clarkey.” Raven handled Clarke her guitar as it was the custom. “Good luck out there.”

“Thanks Reyes and those fireworks better not set my ass on fire.” Clarke smiled as she adjusted the strap, getting comfortable with her musical instrument.

“I got you girl. Make them scream.” Raven cheered and moved into her position to begin the pyrotechnics she had planned for this concert.

Lexa was sure that making the fans scream was the easiest part by the number of voices that resonated at the front of the stage already in ecstasy. Thousands of souls desperate to see their idol, someone they loved and admired. Lexa was nervous to be the one closest to Clarke. She was in a new world, and she felt like a fish out of water but she was going to give her best, no matter what. At the thought, Lexa curved her lips.

“Enjoying yourself, Ms. Woods?” Clarke asked really close to Lexa’s ear to be able to be heard over the chanting crowd.

“It’s aah, crazier than I imagined, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa said with the seriousness expected from her role as protector.

Clarke chuckled taking a step back from the bodyguard. “Okay people, let’s do this!”

Everyone began to clap, pump each other up and wish each other luck.

“Let’s go, Ms. Griffin.”

 

At Bellamy’s signal, Lexa began guiding Clarke through the convoluted corridors behind the stage, skipping an electrical cable here and a storage box there until she spotted the stairs that would lead Clarke to a special mechanical platform that will push Wanheda to the main stage in sync with fireworks to make a grand entrance. All practiced the day before under the scrutiny of Lexa and her team.

The band began to play the introduction to the opening song, and although Lexa didn’t think it was possible the audience screamed even louder knowing that the moment they have been waiting for was finally here.

“Be careful.” Lexa said right before Clarke mounted the platform.

Clarke smiled in return. “I will.” Her eyes roamed all over Lexa’s body and with that confident smile she added. “Blue looks definitely good on you, Commander.” Clarke winked before she disappeared on the platform.

And the show began with a bang, as Raven would proudly say.

 

///

 

After the 2 hour concert everyone had packed up and returned to the hotel as soon as possible. The main crew decided to celebrate the successful beginning of the tour at the hotel’s bar and so Lexa and her team managed to change into a new set of suits. Of course, for some reason Lexa decided to go with a blue tie instead of the usual black her team was wearing.

Everyone was ready for the night ahead, and they did a quick sweep of the private room to make sure no fan or reporter had gotten inside the party that was being hosted by Marcus Kane.

 

Lexa was at the far wall scanning the lively room, observing the fun and good camaraderie that existed between Clarke and her crew. Anya was on the other side of the room while Quint waited outside. Lincoln was off for the rest of the night.

Lexa was pleased that no reporter had infiltrated under her watch. This was as close to a private life that she could offer the famous singer, and if Clarke could have some fun with peace of mind, then Lexa was satisfied with it.

Laughter erupted from the main table as drinks were passed around, soft background music made the night pleasant, and the food was abundant. Everyone was laughing at a comment made by Jasper regarding information they gathered from the tweets shared by many fans during tonight’s show.

 

The tweets were really positive, and fans shared their unique experiences adding pictures of Clarke on stage and videoclips.

“Clarke, you should reply to some tweets that are using the tour hashtag to make it trend.” Monty advised.

Clarke tilted her head. After she munched a fry and licked the ketchup from her lips, she pulled out her phone. “Sure, I think it’d be cool to thank some fans for coming and tweeting about the show. One sec.”

Lexa couldn’t fathom how Clarke looked so damn good in those tight clothes when her nutrition habits were less than healthy. The woman could eat a whole double cheeseburger with onion rings on the side, extra mayonnaise with no pickles rather quick. Add to that a chocolate milkshake which is Clarke’s favorite.

Definitely the artist burns a lot of calories in every concert, just by the amount of heat and sweat plus the exposure under those heavy lights the stage seemed more like a sauna. Not to mention that Clarke is constantly moving around the stage running, jumping, kneeling and playing her guitar.  That had to be how the woman kept in top shape.

 

Clarke typed and read the tweet out loud to make sure she wasn’t going to post something problematic according to Marcus. “Thanks a lot for joining me, um @wanhedastitties…”

Everyone laughed at the funny username.

“It was amazing having you here. Much love, Wanheda xx #infinitytour. That cool?” Clarke asked Marcus who gave her a thumbs up. “Okey dokey,” and stashed her phone away after tweeting back for a couple of minutes.

“Alright, watch the madness unfold in… 3, 2, 1.” Monty smugly announced as the mentions started to skyrocket on his computer.

“There we go!” Jasper high-fived Monty.

Clarke chuckled and as she did her eyes crossed Lexa’s for an instant. Lexa nodded to the blonde with a little quirk of her lips before the blonde returned her full attention to her friends.

That laughter was her favorite sound to hear, Lexa concluded. Clarke’s voice while she sang was alluring, a voice that made her feel her heart burst with joy, sometimes sadness.  Clarke’s singing caused a multitude of feelings, yet her laughter was what made Lexa feel ready to implode. She couldn’t tire of hearing Clarke laugh like this, so free and happy. It made Lexa wish for someone who smiled and laughed with her just like that. She reminded herself that was a stupid desire as long as she was in this line of work. She had sworn to never involve herself romantically because her life was not her own. She couldn’t do that to a significant other, not after what happened with Gustus.

She was going to push past this physical attraction in no time.

 

“It was packed!” Raven was still reeling from the amazing energy from the concert. “My lights were pretty cool, huh?”

“They were, Raven. Can’t wait to see what else you come up with.”  
“Don’t encourage her, Clarke.” Octavia added. “I almost choked from the amount of smoke she used tonight.

Raven shrugged. “What? You gotta admit the stage looked cool with my blue and pink neon lights, and the smoke floating around the stage.”

The girls continued bantering and laughing about the show.

“I mean, Clarke is such a lucky bitch. Did you see that some bras flew her way?” Raven commented as if that was the normal.

“If they have the tags, they are mine!” Octavia quipped. “A damn bra is so fucking expensive!”

“Yeah, next time you should ask for a specific size Clarke.” Harper remarked.

“Besides, one word and Clarke could get some action from any fan she asked.” Raven wiggled her brows in direction of the singer who rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“Such a rock star.” Monroe said with delight.

“Oh yeah, did you see that hot chick in the front row?” Harper asked. “She was pretty tall with red curly hair, nice smile. She was giving some massive heart eyes to Clarke.”

“No way!” Clarke denied.

“Way.” Octavia told. “You should ask her to send you a DM to hook up tonight!”  
“O, cut that shit. I’m not hooking up with anyone.”

“Liar! Clarke is a horn dog. She will find someone to relieve that work stress pretty soon,” Raven cut in stealing a fry from Octavia’s plate.

“Oooooooh.” The girls said in unison.

“Fuck off, Raven!” Clarke threw broccoli at Raven.

 

///

 

An hour later everyone was dispersed around the room, sharing stories or preparing to leave the small gathering since all of them had to move to the next city.

Lexa was walking around, always trying to remain as invisible as possible; however, a very lively Raven looped her arm around Lexa as if they were long-time friends.

“Yoooo, hot stuff. Having fun?”

“Err- Ms. Reyes. I think you should head to your room.” Lexa said trying to hold the drunk woman steady and upright.

“Oh yeah, I’m heading to my room, but I rather not be alone, you know?” Raven threw a wink, laughing happily.

“No, I don’t. Let me get you some help, and you’re going to sleep alone in your room.” Lexa struggled a bit holding the woman who was leaning on her.

“Is something wrong?” Anya approached the duo with a certain mixture of confusion and amusement on her face.

“Can you take Ms. Reyes to her room, please?” Lexa asked.

“Hot damn, grounder princess to the rescue!” Raven laughed. “Where were you made, cheekbones? Cos you look just damn fine.”

Anya’s serious face cracked a bit. “Actually I was proudly made in Polis. Now shall we?”

“Uff, Polis is close from my home. I’m gonna have to visit that town more often.”

Anya extended her arm to keep ahold of the engineer as Lexa released her grip. “Let’s get going then.”

“See ya later.” Raven smiled at Lexa before she was dragged away by Anya.

Lexa sighed, relieved. If she had to deal with drunken staff members every time they had a party, this was going to be exhausting.

Her phone vibrated a minute later. She checked the message and froze.

“Son of a bitch!” Lexa grumbled.

**_MsGriffin (12:07am): c ya laterz ;)_ **

 

Lexa began looking around for Clarke, but now the blonde was nowhere in sight.

“Shit!” Lexa pressed her comlink. “Quint, do you have a visual of Ms. Griffin? Over.” Lexa started to roam around the room with no luck.

“Quint!?” Lexa walked outside to check on her partner, but Quint was not in his established position, Clarke had to have walked out while she and Anya were distracted by Raven.

Lexa cursed some more before taking her phone and texting Clarke back.

**_LWoods (12:14am): Where are you?_ **

A minute later she got a response.

**_MsGriffin (12:15am): calm down Lexa, I’ll be back in a bit. I’m in good company._ **

Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, pushing her annoyance and anger to the back of her mind.

“Company? Is she insane?”

**_LWoods (12:15am): I need to know where you are._ **

**_MsGriffin (12:16am): no u don’t. I promise I’m safe._ **

**_LWoods: (12:17am): Clarke please where are you??_ **

Clarke clearly read the text by the blue checkmark, still, the blonde didn’t reply. Clarke was at it again, and right at the beginning of the tour.

Clarke had to be close by, knowing the blonde well she would find a public space to _‘chill’_ like Clarke would say and stay there. Clarke was the kind of person that didn’t measure the risk of her actions. She was impulsive and acted upon her desires. But never in a malicious way, that’s what Lexa had learned since she began working with Clarke.

 

Lexa quickly walked out of the hotel trying to pinpoint the location of her elusive rock star. Chasing Clarke was exhilarating though. It felt like a challenge for the bodyguard. A challenge made by Clarke by playing this childish game of stubbornness. Maybe that was the reason why Clarke never felt the need of protection before, because she did as she pleased. But not in the sense of causing a ruckus and calling the attention of the press in a negative way.  Well, except for the Ontari incident.

Lexa pulled out her phone to check the nearby places. Clarke always sought solitude whenever she pulled these stunts. Clarke wanted to connect with her fans in a more intimate way too. The musician was a good human being, very noble and selfless. Lexa knew Clarke would choose a place to have a good time and connect with people in a more meaningful way without the burdening presence of someone related to her job like Marcus or her.

“Hmmm, right here.”

Lexa’s gut was telling her that this was the place Clarke would choose to get away for a while. It was only 10 minutes away, and the small restaurant seemed the cozy kind of place that Clarke would choose to hang out with friends.

The bodyguard followed her intuition hoping that she had learned enough about Clarke Griffin to be able to track her down without any incident and backup.

 

After a short walk Lexa noticed the red and blue neon lights of the small burger place. It was located not far from their hotel in a corner where there were clubs and bars as well filled with more people, which Clarke was smart enough to avoid.

The few patrons outside the burger place where chatting amicably, eating and drinking to their hearts content, not aware that they might be close to one of the most popular singers of today.

Lexa quickly went inside and of course, she let out a long sigh of relief as soon as she spotted Clarke laughing with a small group of fans who were surrounding her, paying the utmost attention to whatever the famous blonde said. Their looks of complete adoration made Lexa lower her guard.

Lexa wasn’t going to interrupt the improvised fan-meetup with Clarke and walked to the bar to order a coke to wait. Still, Lexa was close enough to jump in and protect her client if she needed it.

“Totally, you know? Tell that boyfriend of yours to fuck off!” Clarke said between laughs. “If he can’t appreciate the way you are, then he is not worth your time.”

“You’re right. I’m valuable and he can’t treat me like shit!”

Clarke giggled and took a sip of her beer. “Yup. Get rid of that douche.”

 

Lexa waited by the bar for around 30 more minutes, hearing a bit of the exchange of interesting topics between Clarke and her fans. It was actually a positive conversation where Clarke offered good advice to the younger adults who were lucky to share this intimate moment with her. Lexa paid for her non-alcoholic drink and approached the table now that Clarke was scooting to move out of the booth.

“Anyway thanks so much for not posting this on twitter. Otherwise, it would have ruined my night.” Clarke stood up slightly wobbly on her feet. She had been drinking all night long.

Lexa was quick to take her position nearby in case Clarke wasn’t stable enough and fell on her butt.

“Hey you.” The blonde finished her drink with a long sip leaving the empty glass on the table. “You found me.”

“I did.” Lexa stated.

“How?” Clarke furrowed her brows, surprised that Lexa was so good at finding her.

“Well, you did say when we met that I had to go to hell if I wanted to tag along. Here I am.” The bodyguard shrugged.

Clarke snorted, “You do have a sense of humor. And ahm, sorry about that, shouldn’t have said that, it was rude.”

Lexa quirked her lips just a fraction before a fan interrupted them.

 

“Wanheda, can we have a picture before you leave?” One of the fans asked.

“Um, sure. Lexa here is going to take the picture. Come here all of you guys. You can post it way later though. Promise?”

“Yeah, we won’t post it right now.”

Lexa took the cellphone given by one excited fan, who was shaking with emotion. Clarke posed at the center of the group of 5.

“Okay, everyone smile!” Lexa said before pressing the shutter. She took a couple of pictures and returned the phone.

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem.” Lexa smiled and moved to Clarke’s side who was paying and leaving a good tip on the tip jar.

 

Now that they were alone on their way to the hotel Lexa had to address the situation with the impetuous singer.

“You keep pushing my buttons, Ms. Griffin. This could have ended badly.”

“My fans are really great, Lexa. They respect my privacy.”

“You were lucky this time, but not all of them will. Some might want to take more from you and if they do, you might get hurt.” Lexa was truly concerned by Clarke’s willingness to trust blindly in complete strangers.

“I want to reach them, to be able to tell them they matter.”

“I understand that, but please no more stunts like this. I won’t say no to you if this is what you want to do every day. I’ll follow you wherever you go.”

Clarke grinned playfully. “Even to the sky? Since we kind of already went to hell.”

That stole a smile from Lexa. “Yes, even to the sky.”

“Okay, I promise I won’t go out without telling you first.” Clarke meant it this time.

 

Lexa found a way in through the back entrance for the hotel staff to avoid bringing any attention.

Lexa walked Clarke back to her room, and both stood right in front of each other. Clarke took a step closer surprising Lexa.

Lexa remained still, but she could feel her nostrils being invaded by the sweet spicy perfume that Lexa already related to Clarke.

The blonde started to adjust Lexa’s tie, which was slightly crooked, she fixed the knot and looked again into green eyes.

“Perfect.” Clarke whispered, “Blue looks _really_ good on you.”

Lexa didn’t dare breathe anymore or else she was going to drown in Clarke’s enticing smell. They were two feet apart yet it felt too close, too intimate and too dangerous by the way her heart began to speed up.

“We should- umm, excuse me. I ah- I have to go. Rest well, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa took a step back and decided it was a great time to look for her partner. She took deep breaths and already the tight pressure in her chest was lighter from the increased distance between them.

“Clarke.” Clarke purred seductively. “Just Clarke.”

Clarke entered her bedroom leaving a very stunned Lexa outside.

 

///

 

Rolling in her bed again Lexa turned to her left side. That’s what Lexa had been doing all night long since she went to bed last night after escorting Clarke back to her room. On the opposite bed was Anya asleep, snoring slightly, and Lexa felt a tiny bit of envy that her friend was into deep slumber without a worry in the world.

Sighing, Lexa sat on the bed and decided that she had to busy herself since her brain was thinking too much, immersed in thoughts of Clarke. Lexa needed to regain her focus and discipline, empty her mind and return to her usual self.

Lexa walked to the dresser, changed into gym clothes and grabbed a towel hanging from the bathroom door.

 

Once inside the empty gym, Lexa was finally at ease. At this time no one would be around, that’s why she always preferred to exercise early in the day right before sunrise.

She left her towel over a bench press machine and did a couple of bodyweight motions to begin her warm up.

After 5 minutes she was more than ready to begin her training and headed to the first machine.

Lexa breathed in and out in sync with the motion of her arms pushing the weights. Her sole focus was the feeling of her muscles burning as her arms pressed against gravity. The feeling was familiar.  She worked out on a daily basis to prepare her body for combat. A bodyguard had to be in good physical condition to be able to perform to the max, and her mind needed to be in peace.

She kept working out for about 30 minutes, feeling her muscles already pumped from the strenuous activity. After she finished her last set, Lexa jumped to the treadmill and adjusted the timer to begin a mid-pace jog to keep her cardio stamina in peak condition.

 

Right before she pushed start, the door suddenly opened which was odd since it was before 5am. As she lifted her eyes she met the most familiar ocean blue.

“Clarke.” Lexa said breathless.

“Lexa, I ah, you’re here.” Clarke was wearing a jumpsuit, track jacket and comfortable sneakers.

“Is anything wrong?” Lexa looked concerned.

“Ah no, not at all. I couldn’t sleep. Too much energy left.” Clarke answered as she moved to a static bike. She removed her sports jacket and left it on a nearby machine. “You look like you just finished a marathon, and it’s not even 6am.” Clarke eyed the sweaty body of the woman wearing a tank top and shorts that left her long legs on display. Lexa felt slightly exposed, even though these were her regular gym clothes, with Clarke here she felt underdressed.

“Yesterday was a hectic day so I just wanted to decompress.”

“Oh, umm, I guess I’ll be interfering with that so I’ll just leave you to it.”  
“Wait,” Lexa jumped off the treadmill. “Please, don’t go. I mean, the gym is big enough and uh, I’d feel better if you stay with me.” Lexa said almost breathless. “For security reasons.” She was quick to add.

“You’re off duty, Lexa. I shouldn’t ruin your free time. It’s okay.”

“I insist, Clarke. Stay. You don’t bother me at all.”

Nodding, Clarke threw a shy smile at the very fit woman. “Okay then.”

 

Lexa began her jog, and Clarke was working out on the static bicycle. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, actually it felt as this is how it was supposed to be. Both women doing their activity in total comfort and not as if they were with strangers.

“Was this different from any previous job you’ve ever had?” Clarke asked.

Lexa kept the pace of her running and checked on Clarke. The blonde was pushing the pedals at a steady rate, nothing too intense but enough to work her lungs.

“It is very different.”

Clarke waited for Lexa to expand, offering an encouraging smile for her to continue.

“I’m used to working with people in a tighter environment, uh, like politicians, lawyers, businessmen. Never have I ever protected someone as famous in the music industry.”

Clarke giggled. “Famous, and yet you had no idea who I was a month ago!”

Lexa rolled her eyes, but not in an antagonistic way. “Gosh, you’re never going to let me off the hook. Yes, I had no clue who you were before. It just wasn’t something I would interest myself in. I rather read a good book than listen to crappy music.”

“Ouch!” Clarke feigned pain touching her chest in an exaggerated way.

“I admit that now that I’ve heard some of your work, I can see why your fans like it. You can reach people with your lyrics, and that’s a wonderful talent.”

“Thanks, that means A LOT coming from you.” 

Lexa perked her brow and looked at Clarke. “You think that I’m a boring, old-fashioned, heartless,  security expert, don’t you?”

Clarke shook her head grinning at the easy banter. “My first impression was that you seemed way out of my league. The next one was that you had a stick up your ass.”

Lexa blushed at Clarke’s admission, almost tripping in the process. Out of _her_ league? Lexa was a total loser, with no women interested in her gay ass. However, Clarke’s admission also insinuated that she was attracted to the same gender. Lexa had never read anything about it in the newspapers or gossip magazines. It was meant to be something private. Something that Clarke wouldn’t share if she didn’t trust Lexa. Maybe it was a slip-up.

“And now?” Lexa added just in case.

“Now that we’ve been working together for some time I can see that I was wrong.” Clarke continued. “Underneath all that seriousness and broody aura I can see that you do have a sense of humor and feelings. Though your fashion style still needs an update.”  
Lexa couldn’t stop the smile on her face even if she tried. “I was mistaken too, Clarke. I thought you were going to be like one of those arrogant businessmen I have worked for, but I can see how much you care for your fans.  You give them your time and really mean every word you say them; all to make them happy. You love too much, Clarke Griffin, and that’s something admirable.”

This time it was Clarke that blushed. “I guess we both learned not to judge a book by its cover, huh?”

“I do admit that I was wrong on my preconceptions.” Lexa answered earnestly. “So yes, I can agree on that.”

 

After their friendly chat and exercise morning session, Lexa wiped the sweat from her face and drank from a bottle of water greedily, feeling weightless as if this talk had left her renewed. Clarke was going to get down from her bike when one of her shoe laces got stuck in a pedal.

In a flash, Lexa was in Clarke’s space holding her right before she crashed the floor.

Lexa opened her eyes and was glad to see she made it on time. Clarke was held between her arms resting safely on top of her.

Clarke lifted her head slowly to check on Lexa. “Wow, that was fast, Commander.”

“Are you okay?” Carefully, Lexa cupped Clarke’s face, pushing with her fingertips a couple of blonde strands that blocked the view of the very rosy cheekbones and bright blue eyes. Checking that indeed there were no wounds or bumps.

“Yeah…” Clarke croaked, her throat was dry as she had never ever been this close to Lexa. With her left hand instinctively she traced the tattoo that called her attention since she saw the bodyguard only in her tank top. Clarke blinked and realized what she was doing and sat abruptly.

“But you’re not so good. You took the brunt for me.” Clarke removed herself away from Lexa and helped her to get back up.

“That’s what I’m here for. It was nothing.” Lexa smirked full of confidence. Her eyes moved from head to toe checking for any bruise or bump Clarke might have gotten. Lexa kneeled to tie Clarke’s shoelaces quickly before Lexa grabbed her gym supplies. “I’ll escort you back.”

 

“Thanks and uuh, it was fun getting to know more about the broody commander.” Clarke walked out the gym, Lexa walking right by her side.

“Broody commander? That’s something Anya would say. I’m amazed you managed to make her talk.” Lexa said.

“She’s pretty scary but actually she’s very funny once she opens up, particularly when Raven is around Anya seems more charming.”

“Anya is my best friend. We grew up together in the city of Polis, and we have been inseparable. She’s like the sister I’ve never had.”

“Polis? That’s actually close from my home.”

“It is.”

“You and Anya are like me, Wells and Raven. Wish I could have Wells around too. He’s the voice of reason versus Raven’s more crazy antics. Lincoln is pretty nice too. Quint is an ass, I don’t like him.”

Lexa frowned and got concerned. “Lincoln is a good man, really sweet and loyal. Quint isn’t very happy being here, but I’ll speak with him about being more attentive with you.”

“Don’t worry.” With her fingertip, she smoothed the lines etched between Lexa’s brows, almost as if they were carved there permanently. “Much better.”

Lexa chuckled enjoying Clarke’s carefree attitude while they walked to Clarke’s bedroom. Apparently they could get along just fine. Who would have thought?

 

At the front of the door of the assigned room for the musician, Clarke passed her keycard to open her suite. The lock turned green allowing her to enter. Lexa did a quick checkup before moving back to the hall.

“Thank you Lexa for the company.”

“Likewise.”

“See you at breakfast?”

“Yes, Ms. Griffin. I’ll shower and be ready soon to escort you to your breakfast.”

She waited until Clarke shut the door, and she returned to her room to get ready for this day. “I think this isn’t going to be so bad after all.” Lexa said with a rare big smile on her face.

A smile that Clarke put right there.


	5. Chapter 5

“Thank you, Chicagoooo! You're the best fucking crowd ever!!!” Clarke shouted into the mic as her last song ended. The band rocked their instruments until the last note and colorful fireworks were activated during the last part of the show.

The crowd was pumped with energy during the full two hours as they sang the songs with Clarke. The stage was hot, and Clarke was bathed in perspiration, but that didn’t deter the musician from giving everything she had on stage. The wave of applause was deafening, but the audience was ecstatic, and that meant everything to Clarke.

She ran backstage as the lights of the concert hall were turned fully on to allow the fans to exit the concert hall safely.

 

“Really?” Marcus eyed her knowingly.

“Geez, Marcus. I can’t help it. I was born cursing, ask my mom.”

Clarke removed the strap of her guitar and handed it to her team who were waiting for her, welcoming her with an applause of their own.

“Great job everyone!” Clarke removed her leather jacket and gave it to the wardrobe assistant.

“Remember you have to be at **Good Morning Chicago** at 7am for makeup before your interview and presentation.” Marcus instructed. “Please Lexa, don’t let her oversleep tomorrow. I will be on a flight to LA to meet the producer of your new album, and I won’t be around.”

“Make sure my sound remains authentic Marcus, I told you I won’t add more pop sounds just because Arkadia deems it right for my ‘new style’” Clarke air quoted with her hands.

“I promised your style was going to remain authentic underneath it all, just trust me on this one. Gotta first review some of the new stuff, and we’ll go from there.” Marcus rested his hand over Clarke’s shoulder assuring her that everything was going to go as she hoped. “And please Clarke, no cursing on national television.”

“Ugh, I know!” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Kane. I’ll make sure Ms. Griffin is on-time tomorrow. Have a safe trip.” Lexa added.

“Yes, that’d be highly appreciated Lexa. God knows Clarke can’t wake up before noon.” Marcus chuckled and waved goodbye to his singer.

“Wow that’s wonderful, my manager and bodyguard joke at my expense now. Cute.” Clarke replied not with anger as she would have done in the very beginning of their professional relationship; it was more playful making them both hide their smiles.

The musician resumed her walk to her dressing room through the narrow corridors with her entourage, thanking her crew along the way and sharing high-fives.

 

One last turn and they reached the dressing room that Clarke was using to change and relax.

“One second, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa opened the door and did a quick scan making sure that there were no intruders. “All clear,” Lexa stepped out of the way allowing Clarke inside. “I’ll stay right here, Ms. Griffin. Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

“Thanks, Lexa.” Clarke offered a polite smile, and Lexa shut the door behind her after a nod in return.

Clarke slumped in the couch inside the spacious room, with mirrors along the walls and comfy furniture around to chill. Clarke grabbed one of the water bottles left for her to drink after the show. She felt too hot, her head was pounding, and her sight was sensitive from the lights of the show.

Thankfully her staff was quick to supply her with water, energy drinks with finger food to sustain her before and after shows. Otherwise, Clarke wouldn’t survive.

She drank greedily finishing the bottle pretty fast. Her throat had been bothering her for some time, and the water was a welcome temporary relief. “Aaaah, this is good.”

 

A minute later Raven entered through the door after greeting Lexa and Anya who were waiting patiently outside in the hall.

“You were off tonight, Clarkey. What up?” Raven sat on the couch along her friend and raised her leg to accommodate the brace better.

“It’s just a bit windy here so I guess that must be affecting my vocal chords. After the last five concerts I guess my body is still adapting to the strenuous schedule.” Clarke shrugged as she finished the next water bottle, not giving it much importance.

“Do you need me to call Jackson?” Raven suggested.

“No need. I’m feeling pretty much okay. It’s just the soreness in my throat, but it will pass.” Clarke took a couple of ham and cheese sandwiches and bit them with gusto. “Might be anxiety. Marcus is meeting the new producer, and I could only send him like two crappy full songs, I’m not sure if those are good enough.”

“You’re stressing too much. It will flow, it always does so don’t sweat it. Let’s have some fun.” Raven reached for a water bottle and uncapped it before taking a sip. “You wanna watch a movie?”

“No, I’ll pass. I’m going to focus on songwriting instead. Gotta impress this new producer of Marcus.”

“You sure? I can ask the _protector of mankind_ to relax the leash some tonight, and we can go to the movies to change our view.  Anything other than the four walls of the hotel.”

Clarke scrunched her nose and turned to the side to look at Raven. “Who?”

“Alexandria. Name derived from the greek Alexandros, meaning helper and defender of mankind.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Okay Merriam-Webster, what the fu- wait, you mean Lexa?”

“Duuuuh!” Raven says as if it was the most obvious question.

 

“How do you-” Clarke knew her friend pretty well and Raven tended to go to the extremes to satisfy her curiosity. “You searched for information about her? Raven, tell me you didn’t hack into her personal file or something.”

“I uuuh, it was an accident, Clarke. I was trying to find information about _grounder princess_ here, but I ended up in the file of your commander.”

“She’s NOT my commander, Raven. You looked into Anya too? Are you insane? What if they find out?” Clarke was horrified, but also curiosity was getting the best of her.

“Relax, Clarkey. No one will find out. So…” Raven wiggled her eyebrows and her shit-eating grin was on display. “What do ya wanna know?”

“No- Nothing!” Clarke stood up abruptly turning her back to Raven, ignoring the teasing smile on her friend. Because Clarke would never.

_Okay, maybe._

Clarke grabbed her things off the vanity, but she didn’t see her moleskine. “Umm, Rae have you seen my songbook?”

“Nope, not around here Clarke. Probs left it in your room.”

Clarke frowned, she always carried that book with her. “I’ve could have sworn I left it right here.”  
“Let’s go back to the hotel and check in your bedroom. You’re not as organized as you think, Griff.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you, Reyes.”

 

“I’m set. Let’s go to the hotel please.” Clarke told Lexa when she opened the door of her dressing room.

“Right away, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa called Lincoln through her earpiece. “We’re on our way, be ready. Wanheda on the move.”

Lexa focused first on Clarke, then on Raven. “Are you ready?”

“Yup, I got everything I need. I ah, I’ll see you tomorrow Raven.”

Raven laughed with mirth. “Okay Griff, and I’m just a text away if you change your mind!”

Clarke shook her head in complete disbelief at her friend’s shenanigans, following the slender bodyguard who kept her eyes and ears trained on her surroundings as they moved through the back of the concert hall towards the parking lot.

She observed how the brunette - with her beautiful long hair tamed in a high ponytail - walked around so poised, stoic, like a warrior, her face synonymous with danger.

Clarke knew few things of the woman beyond her job. During these past three months she had learned little things about Lexa. She was truly curious to learn much more about her. They have been talking during their morning gym days, and still Clarke knew almost nothing about Lexa. The woman kept everything tightly sealed inside of her.  At this rate, she may retire before she learned more from the elusive Lexa.

Lexa’s reluctance to share much about her life tempted Clarke to ask Raven to disclose some information. But she had to respect Lexa’s boundaries as much as the bodyguard respected hers.

If she was going to find more about the life of Alexandria Woods, she was going to do it on her own.

 

///

 

“Hmmm.”

Clarke groaned deep in slumber. The blonde turned around to muffle the voice that was disturbing her sleep, pressing herself tighter against the fluffy pillows in the king bed.

“Clarke, wake up.” Lexa ordered trying to remain polite, but Clarke was giving her a hard time. “Remember you have to be at the studio early.”

“What the fuuuuck, Lexa. How’d you get in?” Clarke sleepily asked as she turned over to get comfortable again.

“I knocked on the door, and you wouldn’t open it so I used the extra card key I have for emergencies.”

“This isn’t an emergency, you may go back to sleep.” Clarke waved weakly and pulled the blankets tighter against her body.

“Clarke, you have an interview in 2 hours!”

“Shhh…”

“Clarke! Get up or I’ll throw you in the shower. I’m not joking!”

“Go awaaay.” Clarke babbled, changing again her position rolling on her back to be upward.

“ _Klark..._ ” Lexa’s tone was soft yet carried a warning.

Clarke opened a single eye and spotted Lexa, dressed in yoga pants and a red t-shirt from the Polis Warriors basketball team; this Lexa was definitely not seen as often as the Lexa in her charcoal suits that fit her like a glove. This domestic version of Lexa was really cute.

“Actually, red looks way better on you.” Clarke said and turned over burying her face in the pillows continuing to ignore Lexa, missing how Lexa’s cheeks and the tip of her ears turned a shade of red.

With a scoff Lexa disappeared because Clarke didn’t hear her anymore around her bedroom.

Clarke sighed in relief, feeling herself drift to sleep again.

Except that she could have sworn someone turn on her shower in the distance and heard the steps of the security expert walking over the marble tiles from left to right.

 

“Ugh, why do you have to be so childish Clarke? I’m not getting paid for this nonsense! You didn’t want a babysitter but guess what? I have to babysit you! This is the third time since the tour began that I have been forced to barge in your room to wake you up!” Lexa protested as she abruptly yanked the blankets covering Clarke’s body.

“Lexa, go away!” Clarke whined covering her face with her arms to shield the bluish light of the very early morning filtering through the curtains of her room. “And it’s the second time! Arizona doesn’t count. I was awake.”

“Because I bought breakfast for you, otherwise you’d be asleep as usual.”

The bodyguard was half kneeling on the mattress to have some leverage and slid her hands underneath Clarke’s knees and behind her upper back lifting her up.

“HEY!” Clarke opened her eyes and held for dear life to Lexa’s neck. “Don't you fucking dare Lexa!!!”

“I warned you, Clarke!”

Lexa carried the musician bridal style to the big bathroom of the suite where she was lodged. Clarke was ultra embarrassed not just because she was wearing her ridiculous bunny sleeping shorts and ‘I love tacos’ tee, but because she looked like shit and Lexa was in her bedroom looking like a friggin’ sport magazine model with her sport gear and sweaty tan skin smelling so damn good even with that thin layer of sweat. Add to that the fact that Lexa could carry her as if she was taller than 5’7’’ and weighed more than 125 lbs.

Lexa was way stronger than she looked.

 

“You feel too hot Clarke, are you okay?” Lexa asked carrying the blonde around the lounge area of the suit and into the restroom.

“I’m fine, Lexa. Now get me back to bed!”

“I’m sorry, Clarke. You know I can’t.” Lexa walked through the door that lead to the bathroom, which was actually as big as Lexa’s own room back in Polis.  It featured marble tiles in a soft peach color. The walk-in shower with tile-accents, a pebble floor, and a corner seat with granite on top awaited the singer. A rain head that was already on and two smaller shower heads on the middle of the shower room completed the fancy shower. The rain shower released steam into the room, fogging the main mirror over the marble counter with the wash basin. The bathtub was apart on the other side of the shower.

“Lexa!? Waaaaaiiiiit!”

Clarke also learned that Lexa was a woman of her word.

“In you go!” Lexa eased Clarke onto the corner seat, getting slightly wet.

“The fuck Lexa!?” Clarke complained in her wet pj’s inside the seat. “Argh!”

“The water is not too cold nor too hot Clarke. I made sure it was going to be comfortable for you. Now, your wardrobe is already at the TV studio, and the makeup team is waiting for you at 7 sharp.”

“You’re an asshole!” Clarke didn’t waste time and turned on the other shower heads soaking Lexa in revenge.

“Hey! Don’t do that!” Lexa took a step back before she ended up drenched, but the damage was done. “Geez, Clarke. You really can be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

“Boo hoo, poor you.” Clarke couldn’t stop smiling though. If it was someone else Clarke would have been very pissed, but with Lexa it was different.

Lexa made everything seem bright that even these interactions that normally would put her in a sour mood made her smile like a fool.

 

Lexa matched Clarke with a smile of her own. “So you like tacos AND pancakes?”

Clarke blushed a bit hiding her face from Lexa; of course Lexa read the bold letters on the front of her ridiculous tee with the taco design. “Yeah, why choose if you can get the best of both worlds?”

“I’m more into tacos.” Lexa quirked her lips. After a silent beat, she cleared her throat, “I’ll leave, and please don’t take an hour to rinse your hair.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke.”

Clarke saluted with two fingers over her temple. “Yes, commander!”

Lexa scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “You’re impossible, Clarke Griffin.”

“Yeah yeah, but you love me anyway Woods!”

Clarke didn’t realize what she said until she noticed Lexa’s disengaged expression.

“Just hurry up, Clarke.” And with that Lexa turned around and walked outside the room.

 

Clarke removed her soaked pj’s and stood underneath the rain shower for a long time, resting her forehead against the cool tile. Her throat was so sore, she was feeling much worse than yesterday, but she had to suck it up like the many other times she felt sick to her stomach. She heard Marcus’s voice reminding her how important it was to make a good impression in the interviews, and Bellamy’s words reminding Clarke that she was fortunate enough to fulfill her dream.  Slacking off, even for sickness, was not a luxury allowed in this business.

Clarke took the sponge and soap in the corner and washed her body.

“Hmm, that sounded a lot like flirting. Just like the first time we met.” Clarke shampooed her long blonde hair with pink tresses creating a deep layer of foam in her head; this was not the time to be thinking about Lexa.

Clarke was confused and didn’t know how to describe her relationship with Lexa. The fun, playful and even flirty interactions happened on a regular basis whenever the woman lowered her defenses. Or maybe she was reading too much into it. After all nothing romantic could happen between them.

They weren’t friends nor lovers; she was simply Lexa’s assignment. She was in the public eye, and Lexa was supposed to remain in the shadows.  Even if she had a romance with the security expert, it would draw too much attention, the kind of attention that Arkadia and Marcus were trying to avoid with her new image in the works.

And Clarke didn’t need a new scandal.

 

///

 

After her shower, Clarke dressed rather simply, since she was changing again at the TV studio for the interview today.

A simple blue t-shirt and faded jeans with sandals was selected for this ride.

Lexa was already wearing her classic dark suit contrasted with a red tie when she met her in the hall along with Anya who was dressed like Lexa, but she wore a yellow tie.

Lexa’s expression was guarded, careful even. Making Clarke wonder if she said anything that offended the bodyguard earlier.

“It’s very early, how do you expect me to function at 6am?” Clarke slid her hands inside her jeans back pockets as she boarded the lift.

Lexa followed crossing her arms regally behind her back. “You need to try to sleep more. That way you can wake up energized.”

“Not everyone can be like Lexa Woods, you know?” Clarke probed.

“And you shouldn’t be. Doesn’t mean you can’t take other’s advice.” Lexa said lifting her chin up defensively, which was something that Clarke already read as a mildly offended Lexa. It was a very endearing gesture actually.

“You should follow your own advice, Lex.” Anya interjected. “She’s a sleepyhead.”

“She is?” Clarke asked the taller blonde.

“Oh yeah, you have no idea. When she was 12 I used to pull the blankets off, and she’d get all cranky with me...”

“Cut that out!” Lexa blushed but effectively ended the conversation before Anya said too much.

“By the way, have any of you seen my moleskine? The one I use to write my songs?” Clarke had looked in her room multiple times without success, and she was starting to freak out.

“Not really. Where was the last time you saw it?” Anya asked.

“In my dressing room yesterday before I went out to the stage. That moleskine is my life.” Clarke gulped pretty nervous. “I can’t lose it”.

“I’ll look for it as soon as I can. I’ll check the cameras of the venue.” Lexa offered.

“Thanks.”

 

The doors dinged open and luckily, the lobby was mostly deserted of fans. Lexa, however, didn’t take that as a sign to slack off and kept near Clarke to avoid any fan encounter.  They were on a tight schedule due to Clarke’s unwillingness to drag her ass out of bed.

Quint, as he spotted the trio coming through the sliding doors of the lobby, opened the door of the black car waiting for their star.

“You’ll ride with Quint today.” Lexa informed moving into the car that was going to tail Clarke. “Lincoln and I will follow.” Lexa headed into her car.

“Good morning, birdie. What’s got you in a bad mood?” Quint raked his eyes over Clarke as she boarded the car making her squirm a bit.

“None of your business.” Clarke buckled her seatbelt and got as comfortable as she could in the back seat.

Anya took the front sit after discussing the best route to the station with Lexa and loaded it in the GPS.

“I can always give you a helping hand, birdie.” Quint smirked and eyed Clarke through the rearview mirror with such distaste. Clarke hated the man.

“Nah, I’ll pass.”

“This is the address, so get going.” Anya ordered and finally the car was put into gear.

 

The ride took around 40 minutes, and once in the TV studio Clarke was guided to her dressing room for hair and makeup.

Bellamy was already there to brief Clarke of the kind of questions she should expect and how she should respond. Basically she was to promote her tour and to keep discussing her new work. He wanted to tease fans about the upcoming album but keep the info regarding her new album shrouded in mystery.

It was the same conversation she always had with her assistant manager before press appearances.

Clarke was feeling dizzy again, she just nodded to whatever Bellamy was saying to her. She didn’t have it in her to properly pay attention.

“Excuse me,” Lexa peeked through the door with that gentle smile of hers. “Tall mochaccino with extra shot of espresso.”

Lexa handed Clarke her fave coffee and walked out just as fast.

“Okay Griffin, can you focus!” Bellamy was slightly irritated at the interruption evidenced by the clench of his jaw. “Are you even paying attention? This is important!”

“I hear you, Bell. Relax!” Clarke took a grateful sip of the beverage feeling slightly better with coffee running through her system.

Bless Lexa who knew when to add that extra shot for sure. It was pretty amazing that the woman learned so much about her in these past months, and Clarke knew little about the bodyguard except for the few things they shared while on their not so frequent gym talks. She wished she knew Lexa’s favorite beverage or even her favorite color, something as simple as that.

Maybe she would ask her next time they met at the gym.

 

“Hey,” Raven entered the room. “I uh I think we found your songbook, Clarke.” Raven was very serious.

“Where is it?”

Raven didn’t say anything and just passed her the tablet she was holding.

Clarke read the tweets and saw the pictures. “Sonofabitch! Someone stole it!”

“I told Monty to track immediately he online source. It seems someone entered your dressing room and took it. Lexa is making some calls to check the security footage as we speak.”

“Fucking hell! It’s my unreleased material leaked into the web. This doesn’t work anymore!” Clarke wanted to cry. She was experiencing writer’s block, but the few things she had written were at least something to start her new album.  Now it is leaked online.

Picture after picture with her own handwriting was being shared by an unknown source. Clarke felt disheartened.

“Anya is heading out with Lincoln to check the situation, they will find out for sure the culprit but there is nothing else to do here.” Raven offered a sympathetic smile.

“It’s an opportunity to use this to let people know this won’t stop you, Clarke. With the empathy of your fanbase this will make them support you more when the album comes out.”  
“Of course, that’s all you care about Bell. The new album and not the time I spent trying to write something good! That book is personal to me. My private thoughts are in there!”

Bellamy took her hand in his. “I just want you to do well, Clarke. You know I care about your success.”

“I know.”

“Let’s focus on the interview, and ah, don't worry about anything else. Keep your head in the game.” Bellamy cupped Clarke’s face. “I need you to do this, Clarke. You hide your pain and smile, okay?”

“Okay.”

“We’re going to solve this, Clarke. Trust us.” Raven offered as much comfort as possible, but Clarke couldn’t feel much worse. “Jasper will write a statement from your account right away to let the fans know it is stolen material.”

“Okay, princess go get ‘em!”

 

After the musician was ready in full makeup and dressed in tight jeans and a black and red flannel more to her style, the artist was lead to the studio and sat on the main couch to be interviewed. The cameras began rolling, and the live show began.

The general questions regarding her career and her early years came and were easily answered. Clarke talked about her Infinity Tour and discussed about her interactions with the fans. Of course, interviews always touch on subjects that you would rather not discuss.

“So…” The host eyed Clarke with interest. “Tell us, is there anyone out there who makes Wanheda’s heart sing?”

Clarke smiled awkwardly. “Not at all. My love belongs to my fans.” The response was automatic, and yet, she felt she was lying somehow. Because she didn’t have more love to give, not after her heart was broken into pieces.

The live audience awed and clapped, a couple of exciting squeals here and there because there was hope for any regular fan to be the lucky one to date the blonde one day.

“You heard it right here. Wanheda is very single and looking.”

Clarke had to suppress a roll of her eyes.  She never said she was looking. She kept smiling forcefully instead.

“About your new album, any hint to when are we going to get new material?”

“Next year, hopefully by summer.”

The host continued. “Our sources tells me that some material was apparently leaked online. Is that true?”

Clarke licked her lips and started to bounce her feet just the slightest. News travelled fast nowadays. “Right uh, this notebook is where I write to let out my feelings, and I want to say that my privacy is what I value the most. Whoever took that moleskine robbed something special from me.  And even though it did not have much of my new work, it is still a violation of my personal life. I hope if you truly are fans, stop spreading that material. It is not meant to be online. I pour my ideas and drafts in there, so I’d be happy if the content is removed.”

“You heard it here. That is stolen material from Wanheda and as fans I hope you respect her wishes. Now, tell us Wanheda, you’re making new changes. Can we expect a different album in comparison to your last one?”

“I’ll be heading to LA mid-tour to record some new stuff, umm, not sure how much I can share, but I promise that it will be more bright. I want this new album to reflect more of who I am. To share a bit of myself and return to my musical roots. This album is very important to me, and I hope that what we’re working is something the fans will enjoy.”

“I don't doubt it will be. Now let’s read some questions we got from some fans via Twitter.” The host turned towards a screen behind them to read the tweets sent to them.

 

Clarke answered questions from fans online and in the audience before she walked to the small stage so she could sing one of the songs from her latest album. Her head was pounding harder than ever, but she still managed to keep a smile on her face. She had to endure just a bit more.

She caught Lexa who was behind cameras looking concerned. Clearly there was a quiet anger in the way she stood with her hands tightly wrap behind her back and the jaw locked in place, but mostly her eyes were dark. Clarke hated seeing Lexa like this; she rather see the unusual smile that she knew Lexa was capable of showing than her murderous glare.

Wanheda was welcomed with applause and shouts from the audience as she stepped on the stage. She grabbed her acoustic guitar and slid it on. She waited for the track to begin, and she closed her eyes.

She began playing the chords on her guitar and started to sing one of the few hit songs from her previous album. It wasn’t a happy song. It talked about loss, about just surviving one day at a time. She wrote it one night in a crappy bar where she was half drunk about a couple of weeks after she dumped Finn, hoping to find the light she needed in her life.

She didn’t find the light though. She got laid with a handsome stranger who eased some of her pain temporarily. At least she ended up with a new song written on a greasy napkin.

 

As she opened her eyes she saw the audience swaying their bodies left and right with the soft tune she played. She leaned closer to the microphone and sang with all her might.

She looked around again and found the face she was looking for.

_Lexa._

The bodyguard watched her with all her senses on high alert, and Clarke hoped that with this song she could ease Lexa’s inner turmoil.

The song was in crescendo, Clarke poured into her voice a plea to find hope, to find peace and finally free herself from the chains of her past. Those eyes that were filled with darkness before were now like the green of the trees in summer. Lexa relaxed as she listened the song, and Clarke noticed a tiny imperceptible smile on her face. That was what she was looking for.

Clarke returned her gaze to her fans and gave them the only thing she could - her voice and music.

As she reached the end everything was spinning so much, her throat was on fire, and her vocal chords were hurting her much more than after the concert last night. She was really trying to keep it together, as she always did, but boy, it was too much today.

Lexa’s expression changed. She worried her lip. As Clarke finished her song and as the lights were turned off, the blonde vanished.

“Claaaarke!”

That was the last thing Clarke heard coming from Lexa.

 

///

 

“I fucking told you yesterday you were pushing her too much, Bell.” Raven shouted.

“She said she was okay!”

“Of course she’s gonna say that, you idiot!” Raven sounded so angry. “It’s Clarke!”

“Look, Raven. Clarke is a big girl. She had the TV event, and she handled it just fine!”

“Yeah, as fine as fainting with fever and a vocal chord infection! She won’t be able to keep this pace if you don’t think about her health first!”

“I know what is best for Clarke!” Bellamy protested. “I know she can-”

“Enough!” Lexa said with conviction. “Out! Both of you. Can’t you see she needs rest? You two bickering here is not helpful.  Leave her alone!”

“Yeah, sorry. I ah, I’ll come by later.” Raven apologized, clearly ashamed. “Move it, Bell!”

“We’ll be back later.” Bellamy announced.

 

After a couple of seconds she felt the bed dip beside her, warm hands began caressing her face and scratching her scalp tenderly. It felt so good she moaned.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Lexa whispered. “It’s me. Lexa.”

“Lex…”

“Shhh.” Lexa moved closer to tug the blanket over her body. “You’re safe. Now try to rest. I’ll keep an eye on things while you sleep. I swear I’m going to make whoever took your songbook pay, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded sleepily. She felt like a train hit her, and she was left under the rails. Her head was pounding a bit after the noise Raven and Bellamy made, at least, having Lexa here made her feel much better.

“What… happened?” Clarke rolled on her side trying to gather some more warmth.

“You ended the song and ahm, as the lights were turned off you removed your guitar, took a step forward and fainted. Sorry I wasn’t fast enough to catch you this time.” Lexa said sighing. “You were so cold in my arms, shivering, and I had no idea what to do.”

“Oh.”

“You had a high fever. Dr. Jackson examined you and found your throat severely inflamed. He injected some antibiotics to control the infection, and you should recover quickly with proper rest.”

“Shit, Marcus is gonna flip, and I bet Arkadia isn’t going to be happy if we cancel Detroit.”

“Marcus will deal with Arkadia. No one is going to pressure you to perform your next concert until you’re fine. Yes, Detroit is out of question, but Bellamy managed to push Cleveland to avoid cancelling that one too.”

“Thanks, Lexa.” Clarke eyes started to droop with tiredness.

“Nothing to thank me for. It’s my duty.” Lexa pushed away the sticky blonde hair from Clarke’s clammy face, easing the girl into sleep.

“Could you… could you stay with me?”

“Of course.” Lexa smiled and kept close to the musician, watching over her like a hawk. Checking for any sign of pain or being uncomfortable. “I’m right here, Clarke. Sleep.”

 

It was hard to sleep. She felt herself drift in and out of consciousness for hours. Clarke had no idea how much time had passed, but she was still in bed. In the distance she could hear a heated discussion again but not as noisy, the muffled voices elevating as discussion went on.

“Lexa, what the hell are you doing?” Clarke recognized Anya’s voice coming from the living room of her suite.

“What do you think? I’m watching over her.” Lexa replied with annoyance.

“Lex, cut the bullshit. You and I know that you’re letting your personal feelings interfere here.”

“I’m not, An. I’m doing what everyone would do for their ward.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that if that helps you to sleep at night.” Anya huffed, “You care for her way more than you should, Lex. You fucking know it!”

“Anya, don’t question my decisions. I’m doing this because it’s my job to keep her safe!”

“Jesus, squid. You’re worse than I thought.”

“Anya, don’t.” Lexa warned with dead coldness. After a pause. “Do we have any info on the thief?”

“No one without an ID badge went into Clarke’s dressing room. The people who entered Clarke’s dressing room were authorized.”

“An inside job. Of course.”

“It seems so. Quint is checking to see if anything is out of the ordinary in the vid feed.”

“Check the tapes again. Quint is biased and will do a half-ass job for our client. Check any unusual money movement as well for the people who entered. We can’t let whoever did this get away with it. Whoever did it breached Clarke’s trust.”

“You’re taking this job too personally, Lex. Your feelings-”

“Stop! I know okay? Just… let it be.”

“Fine, we’ll talk about this later. We’re not done here, Lexa.”

 

Clarke heard the door close shut after a while and then the slow steps of shoes walking towards her door that apparently was left ajar.

Lexa peeked inside the bedroom to make sure she didn’t disturb the blonde. She walked towards the bed and fixed the sheets again.

“It’s my job to protect her.” Lexa said to no one, as if hearing it out loud would make her convince herself that it was the only reason she stayed with her.

 

///

 

It was dark outside, only the faint light from the lamp on her bedside table lit her bedroom. Clarke stretched hearing her bones pop and crack as she stretched more, twisting her back and arms.

She sat on the bed and looked around. She was alone in her bedroom. Everything completely, almost eerily silent. Clarke assumed she slept all day long, and it was now very late.

She checked her phone on the night table which confirmed the time of day and replied to some of her mother’s texts telling her she was feeling alright, that there was nothing to worry about. She also sent a short message to Marcus letting him know that she was better and apologized for fucking up the concert schedule.

Besides her cellphone she noticed a small package with a card.

With curiosity Clarke took the card and read the neat handwritten message.

_Clarke,_

_I’m sorry I let this happen, I’m sorry you were robbed of something important to you. I know this is not good enough to replace it, but it might be a starting point. Never lose your inspiration, nor the love for your craft. I will have your back as long as I’m here. I won’t fail you again._

_Lexa._

 

Her heart did a little jump, she couldn’t believe that Lexa went out and bought her a new moleskine to replace the one she lost. She could have sent anyone to get a new moleskine; she had millions to spend on as many as she wanted so that wasn’t the point.

The amazing thing is that Lexa thought of it and went out and bought one for her. Not Bellamy nor Raven who knew how important her songbooks were, but Lexa.

Clarke couldn’t stop smiling. She traced the underwater blue cover of the notebook with care, as if it was worth millions. This was very special, because it was from someone whom never expected anything in return. Lexa was more than a serious, disciplined bodyguard. Clarke was discovering that the commander wasn’t as hard as she wanted people to believe. There was a softness and kindness in there that Clarke was grateful to see first hand.

 

From her closet Clarke grabbed a hoodie and put it on, she needed some liquid to coat her sore throat.  She grabbed a glass of water before she sat to write in her new moleskine; to her surprise she found a very sleepy Lexa on the couch in the middle of the quiet living room.

Her jacket, and tie were hanging on the perch in the corner of the living room, and Lexa was resting with her button up completely open exposing her undershirt, her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, and there was a book on her lap with her hand firmly over the cover of the book as she slept peacefully.

Clarke approached the sleepy figure and took the book carefully from her hand. Clarke chuckled seeing it was a lesbian romance novel about a painter chick and a magazine writer who betrayed her love to protect her. Apparently the couple were at odds, and the book was about second chances. Clarke would love to hear more about this book for sure.

“Who would have thought that behind that scowl there was a romantic?”

 

Clarke smile was big, finding that Lexa was a book lover who also read lesbian literature was one of the most personal things she had discovered about the bodyguard so far. Learning these little things made her truly happy.

And maybe her BiFi signal wasn’t as damaged as she thought.

She left the well-used book on the side table and walked to her room. She took a wool blanket from the closet and returned to drape it over Lexa. The bodyguard was clearly exhausted, probably researching the robbery. She couldn’t imagine how stressful watching someone and protecting them had to be. Clarke hoped that one day Lexa would open up to her and talk some more about her life and career.

 

Clarke made a quick trip to the kitchen, poured herself another glass of water and returned to the living room to keep Lexa company while she wrote in her new moleskine. She drank in silence observing the lungs of the sleepy woman expand and contract as she breathed in and out.

She remembered Lexa had some kind of discussion with Anya while she slept. She wasn’t sure what it was about or if she dreamed it, but it had to do with Lexa’s feelings.

“Maybe someone hurt you, is that it?” Clarke said as she watched the sleeping beauty. “Guess hiding is easier. I know about that too. We rather keep it to ourselves than share the burden with others. We carry it so our friends don’t have to.”

 

Suddenly she was filled with a rush of inspiration looking at the strong woman in her sleep.

“Strong and brave, like a battle maiden

you protect and shield me from the pain

when you smile I feel alive but I know

that deep down you’re nothing but

a bodyguard of lies.”

Clarke was ecstatic. She had never felt inspiration to write again with as much intensity as tonight. She scratched and added lines here and there, and by the time she was done she knew she had in her hands quality material. Her gut was telling her that this was about to become her new hit single.

Unaware of it, it was like she had removed a weight from her shoulders. After so many months of this writing drought, now she couldn’t contain what her heart was telling her to write.

Clarke looked again at Lexa and wondered if her skin was as soft as it looked. Maybe her hair was like silk as it appeared with the dim lamps illuminating the room. Lexa looked so human as she slept. It was as if Clarke was seeing her for the first time. It made her feel weird being here with the sleeping bodyguard, as if she was clearly interrupting a private moment.

She stored her new moleskine safely inside her backpack and was in urgent need of a walk. This strange attraction to Lexa had to cool down. It wasn’t right. Lexa was her protector, Clarke was her duty and nothing else. Maybe loneliness caused Clarke’s desperate need to find something to tether her to the ground, and Lexa was the perfect anchor.

 

The musician was so happy, inspiration struck in the strangest moment. Even that dream-like conversation she thought she heard between Lexa and Anya made her write _Bodyguard of Lies_ , the name of the song she wrote. She had no idea that Lexa was going to be the catalyst to her writing again. She couldn’t lie to herself. It had been because of Lexa.

Lexa had become someone truly special to Clarke. After she started to see behind the hardness of the bodyguard, Clarke found a woman who was noble and caring. A woman that inspired Clarke to do better.

A muse.

If Wells were here he would laugh at Clarke and tell her _I told you so!_

 

///

 

After wandering around the hotel. She reached the deck area of the pool, and it was deserted as expected. It was way past midnight already, and most people were partying or drinking at the bar.

Clarke hugged herself to protect her body from the cold breeze, adjusting her hoodie over her blonde locks to avoid being spotted. Clarke walked into the small garden on the far side of the pool with its tall vine walls. An almost perfect spot to be left alone.

She walked inside the garden enjoying the flowers and thick vegetation that it offered. Trying to erase that soft voice of Lexa that made her insides melt, or how pretty her emerald eyes are when the sun shines on them. Whatever this infatuation was with Lexa, Clarke had to let it go. Lexa was part of her staff, her personal security. She owed respect to Lexa and her position in her staff. Clarke was sure that it was all due to the last few stressful days and Lexa’s constant guidance to aid her that caused this unnecessary attraction. Maybe hooking up wasn’t a bad idea after all to release this pent-up desire.

 

“Look what we have here. The little bird escaped her golden cage.”

Clarke turned around and met the cold blue eyes of the only member of the security team that made her skin crawl.

“Leave me alone, Quint.” Clarke ignored the man and kept walking.

“What? Sad that you lost your songbook?” Quint picked on her. “Oh baby, feel my wrath, I swear you’ll feel it deep inside.” Quint kept laughing at Clarke.

“How the fuck do you know those lyrics?” Clarke clenched her hands into fists.

“It’s all over the internet sweetheart.”

“No, not that one. That was in the first couple of pages. It was one of the first songs I wrote for my past album, but it didn’t work for the tone of the album.” Clarke eyed Quint with anger. “You stole my notebook, of course you did!”

The man smiled in a not friendly way, it was feral. He dropped the cigar he was smoking to the ground and stub it with his boot. “What are you saying, birdie? You have no proof.”

“But Lexa will have it, you fucker!” Clarke said before turning around to return to her room and inform Lexa.

 

She hurried her steps and right before she reached the last curve in the garden area, she was yanked by her arm.

Quint grasped her arm hard and clasped her jaw. “Ah ah, you’re not going anywhere. You’re so brave with the commander around you, but you’re alone now, birdie.”

“Let me go!” Clarke growled, but the man had a strong grip.

“You are a gold mine. All the things I have heard about you, about the girls you have fucked. What would the press say if I opened my mouth?” Quint chuckled.

“Fuck you, Quint!”

Clarke kneed him in his balls and took that chance to slip away. She ran from her assailant and made it to the pool area shouting “Lexaaa!”, but he was faster and caught her before she could enter into the hotel.

“You bitch!”

“Lemme go!”

“I’m gonna show you some manners, birdie.”

The man lifted his hand to hit her, but he never had a chance because he was screaming in pain as a knife flew and lodged itself in his hand.

Clarke took that as her cue to move away from danger.

 

“How do you fucking dare to touch her!” Lexa was there at lightning speed, eyes full of fury, her posture fully aggressive and ready to annihilate anything in her path.

“We were just talking.” Quint whined in pain, holding his bleeding hand with the other.

Lexa forcibly pulled the knife out of his hand and sheathed it in her belt. “Attack her and you attack me.”

“It won’t happen… again.” Quint was clearly in pain, but his eyes showed true horror looking at Lexa.

“No, it won’t.” Lexa held the man from his shirt pulling him to his full stature and hit him hard, the cracking sound of his nose echoing in the otherwise silent night. “Get back up!”

Quint was trying to drag his body away from Lexa who stalked him like prey ready to murder him.

“Get up, you coward!” Lexa growled, helping Quint up and punched him again this time in his jaw making him fall on his ass. “GET UP!”

“I’m- I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to do anything to her!” Quint tried to defend his ugly actions without success.

“Your fight is over.” Lexa was going to lift Quint up again to beat the shit out of him.

“Lexa stop!” Clarke cried, afraid that Lexa was going to go too far with Quint.

Clarke couldn’t believe her eyes that a grown ass man was cowering in fear of a woman half his size. Lexa was definitely way more dangerous than she initially thought. She saw her fury and anger unleashed, but she wasn’t afraid of her, never of Lexa who treated her with respect and care.

“LEXA!” Lincoln came out as he saw the commotion and ran to pull the woman away before she did anything she might regret later.

 

Lexa struggled to get out of the grasp of Lincoln but he was way taller and had a stronger grip around her waist. Still, Lincoln struggled to keep Lexa contained.

“Easy. He can’t hurt her.” Lincoln tried to calm down his friend.

“Are you okay?” Anya came a second later, and checked on Clarke first.

She nodded because she couldn’t speak at all, that had been frightening. Okay, Clarke couldn’t deny she felt a little tingle between her legs as Lexa kicked Quint’s ass.

“I’m fine, you can let go, Linc.” Lexa requested.

“Linc, take Clarke to her suite. I’ll deal with this piece of shit! You should check that hand Lex.” Anya pulled Quint up and dragged him away as Lincoln and Lexa accompanied Clarke.

 

///

 

Clarke was sitting on her couch as Lincoln spoke outside with the security of the hotel to deal as smoothly as possible with Quint, trying to avoid anything that connected it to Clarke.

Lexa’s white undershirt was splattered with a bit of blood, her hand was a deep red and probably was going to bruise by the impact of her hits. Clarke walked to the restroom to gather the first aid kit.

She returned and sat close to Lexa to tend her injury.

“Lexa?”

Lexa turned around to face Clarke. The deep scowl in her face was the usual sign of distress that Clarke hoped to remove soon.

“May I…?” Clarke eyed Lexa’s hand, then back up to her face to seek her approval. Lexa nodded consenting.

She removed the blood first with a wet bandage. Next she poured some antiseptic on a clean cotton cloth and began cleaning the bodyguard’s busted knuckles in silence.

After a moment Lexa dared to look at Clarke again. “Did he hurt you?”

“I’m okay, don’t worry. You got the worst part between the two of us.”

Lexa sighed in relief. “I woke up, and you were nowhere in sight, Clarke. You left without your cellphone, and I worried. I ran to wake up Anya. Anya headed to the gym, Lincoln to the bar and I went into the pool when I heard you shouting my name.”

“Sorry for scaring you, Lexa. That wasn’t my intention. I needed to go out for a walk. Never thought that asshole was going to turn on me.” Clarke applied an ointment before she wrapped a bandage around the hand.

 

“I should have gotten rid of Quint as soon as you told me you didn’t feel comfortable with him, for that I’m sorry. That man won’t see the light of day ever again, I promise you.” Lexa wouldn’t look Clarke in her eyes. She felt guilt and shame.

Clarke couldn’t allow Lexa to take the responsibility for Quint’s actions; she lifted her chin gently. “You kept me safe, Lexa. This isn’t on you. Quint stole my book, he threatened to disclose private information, not you.”

“Still I should-”

“No.” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s uninjured hand, and looked Lexa right in her eyes. “You kept me safe as always. Thank you.”

Lexa curved her lips, and Clarke felt her relax slightly which was good news. “As soon as Lincoln finishes with the report, I’ll head into the police station to press charges.”

“It’s not worth it, Lexa. Let him deal with his injuries and let’s move on, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay. As soon as Trikru gets the full report, my boss will deal with him accordingly and whatever he thinks he know won’t do him any good.” Lexa guaranteed.

“Your hand should heal in no time.”

“Thank you. I’m going to go now so ahm, try to sleep, and I’ll see you soon.” Lexa stood up checking the bandages on her right hand.

“Thanks again, Lexa. I mean it. For the new moleskine, for protecting me. Thank you for everything.” Clarke walked Lexa towards the door where Lincoln waited.

Lexa turned around and offered one of those extremely rare authentic smiles in return. “It’s my… job.” Lexa said with less conviction.

 

Clarke watched as the two security members walked away, her heart beating in relief that Lexa didn’t hurt herself much, and she was okay after that big scare. Who would have thought that after 12 weeks of working together, Lexa Woods would start becoming someone she cared about?

Hopefully the rest of the tour would continue without any more incidents.

Clarke could only cross her fingers, but life never tended to go her way.


	6. Chapter 6

After the events in Chicago, Lexa decided not to bring in a replacement from Trikru Security. Lexa insisted to her boss on keeping Lincoln, Anya and herself in charge since Clarke trusted the three of them, and including a new person now would alter their established dynamic. Indra wasn’t happy with the entire situation, from Quint’s betrayal to Lexa’s plan not to replace him, but Becca accepted Lexa’s request to continue as a team of three, trusting in the leader of the task team to do the job.

Also, Lexa made it her personal mission to find what exactly Quint did and how. She found that the bastard sold the notebook to a stalkerish fan whom he met at the concert venue in Chicago. After some tracking, with the help of Monty and Raven in the technology area, she found the fan’s location to recover the book, however, to Clarke that moleskine had been stained. Clarke felt as if a part of her intimate thoughts had been violated and therefore, got rid of the notebook, destroying all its contents to never look back.

The guilt of failing Clarke haunted Lexa. She knew what she had to do as soon as Clarke told her she wasn’t comfortable with Quint, but she ignored her training and listened to the blonde instead.

Anya was right.  Lexa’s attraction to and maybe feelings for Clarke overruled her common sense and almost caused the blonde to be physically injured or killed.  Who knew what Quint was going to do to Clarke?

As much as she had grown to like Clarke, she had to cut the emotional ties and friendship with her.

Nothing good would come out of it.  Lexa believed it was in Clarke’s best interest.

 

Thus, seven concerts and six cities later, the Infinity Tour arrived in New York city. The plan was to stay in the big apple to fulfill all Clarke’s contractual obligations, then head to LA to begin the recording of her new single and prep her album before resuming the touring again.

Clarke and Lexa spent every single day in each other’s company, and it was interesting how their initial hostile dynamic shifted into a relationship of respect and trust.

Lexa sometimes forgot that she was here to do a job, because being with Clarke was easy.  Clarke noticed her whenever she tried to remain invisible and always made sure to talk with her, Anya and Lincoln. Clarke was so different from her previous clients because she was so attuned to other people's needs that it was easy for her to connect with her staff with her kind smile.

Working with Clarke was definitely a unique experience. A one of a kind roller coaster that always left Lexa wanting more.

Friendship? Was that even possible for someone whose life was on the edge of danger?

It didn’t matter what Lexa dreamed of developing with the rock star. She constantly had to remind herself that this was a job with an end date and that Clarke’s safety was the top priority. She would move on to her next dangerous assignment, and Clarke would remain a force in the entertainment world.  Any lasting friendship or connection with Clarke was a pipe dream.

 

Clarke was going to present her show in the Madison Square Garden and Barclays Center in the upcoming days. She had a full schedule of interviews and a photoshoot to promote her tour and upcoming album.

Also, Clarke began writing non-stop in the notebook that Lexa gave the singer. It made Lexa really happy to see Clarke whenever she went out for a coffee or even on the airplane, writing feverishly in that notebook. Lexa convinced herself that the notebook was going to be their only lasting connection, and that was enough.

It had to be enough.

Of course, her best friend didn’t miss a thing, and Lexa hated that Anya knew her so well, every time Anya confronted her they ended up arguing strongly.

 _“For fuck’s sake, Lexa. You’re crushing on her!”_ Anya had faced her with nothing but truths that Lexa knew but wasn’t ready to accept.

_“Anya, I’m trying to help her. I’m not crushing on Clarke!”_

_“Yeah, you’re an idiot if you think you’re not Lexa. I can see your eyes softening whenever she’s on sight. How you get lost in your own head while Clarke meets her fans.”_

_“Anya, even if that was true I won’t do anything to jeopardize my job and her safety.”_

_“You already jeopardized her safety because you ignored Quint’s obvious disdain. I hope you get your head out of the clouds.  Lexa, I really hope so for your own good. I couldn’t give a damn about Clarke, but I know you, squid. She’s going to break your heart.”_

_“I’m not a child anymore, Anya. I can take care of myself!”_

After that discussion, Lexa returned to treating with her client more formally. It was better to detach herself from whatever bond they have developed than to drown herself in useless fantasies.

For her own and Clarke’s sake.

 

///

 

The work day in New York began with energy. A cloudy day but perfect for the Infinity Tour press conference that was going to be held in the hotel where Clarke was staying.

Lexa followed the singer to the media room allowing the assistant manager to prepare the singer for potential questions. Behind the scenes it was always mayhem with people running from one side to the other. Fixing the lipgloss or the hair of the artist.

They rounded the next corner of the lively hotel with soft cream carpets and recessed lighting in the halls. The group stopped behind a wooden door that would lead them directly to the conference area.

Marcus arrived and reached for Clarke.

“Alright, I’m going to introduce you to the press. I’ll let you handle the questions, but if it’s something that requires my intervention I’ll step in.”

“Got it.” Clarke fixed her jeans jacket around her torso before checking her hair one last time.

“Lexa, did you check all the press passes?”

“Anya did, all of them are registered.”

“I scanned the questions they sent online beforehand to prepare Clarke in advance.” Bellamy informed.

“Good, we’re ready and Clarke? Try to keep that vocabulary of yours censored please.” Marcus patted Clarke’s shoulder before he walked outside.

 

Lexa took this chance now that Marcus and Bellamy walked away to approach Clarke, noticing the hesitation from the blonde. “What is it?”

“I’m a bit nervous. It doesn’t matter how many times I do this, it always gives me jitters.” Clarke fixed the golden necklace she wore today before looking at Lexa. “Having you around makes it easier though.”

Lexa blushed softly.  She elected to fix her tie avoiding Clarke’s gaze. “There is nothing to fear, Clarke err- Ms. Griffin. You’re a professional and very charismatic. You’ll dazzle them.”

Clarke’s smile faded a little. Lexa had been trying to keep the formality between them, but whenever she addressed her like that it tugged at the strings of her heart. It didn’t sound right.

“Ladies and gents please welcome Wanheda!” Marcus said into the mic before Clarke could reply.

That was Clarke’s cue to enter the conference room and Lexa walked two steps behind, remaining in the far back wall, but always at a reaching distance for any situation that might arise.

 

Clarke sat comfortably in the center chair located strategically behind a long table decorated with a white tablecloth to address the press. Lexa scanned the room as she was trained to do, the flashes of the cameras began blinding her, but she kept her eyes on the men and women in the room that are _not_ asking questions.  No one else was paying attention to them, and they were the real danger.  

“Hey guys, it’s been a very intense tour but all of you have been very welcoming. Thanks for the support.” Clarke greeted the members of the press.

“We will start with the questions now.” Marcus said.

A reporter stood up. “Hi, I’m Emori from Music TV. Wanheda, how have the fans taken this new image? We have seen an artist with more maturity and tamed behavior as well. What happened?”

Clarke chuckled, she grabbed the mic stand resting over the table and put it closer to her. “Marcus happened.”

That brought laughter in the press room.

“I have immersed myself fully into creating more heartfelt music, and I’m avoiding falling into the traps of being distracted by insignificant things. I want to produce something really good, and Marcus has been nothing but a great guide for me. I guess, that translates into my behavior in front of the cameras.”

“Hello, I’m Roma from Rock FM. What can you tell us about your new album?”

“I’ve briefly discussed the plans with our producer for this album, John Murphy. I’m very happy to be working with someone as talented as he is. I think that we’ll be recording the first single soon. I have new material, and I do hope that the fans like it.”

Another reporter stood up. “Ontari is conquering the charts with her latest single: _Bounds_ , do you think this puts pressure to release your material faster?”

“Not at all.” Clarke answered honestly. “My work will take as long as it takes.” Clarke smiled over her shoulder looking briefly at the bodyguard.

Lexa remembered clearly when she said those words to Clarke when she was pestering her about a chocolate milkshake that she ordered before one of her concerts that took a bit too long to arrive.

“This is for my fans, and I just want them to enjoy it. I will keep making new music, and that has nothing to do with Ontari’s work.”

Clarke kept answering questions from various reporters for 20 more minutes, discussing her concerts in the city, her future projects and plans.

By the looks of Marcus, he was very satisfied with Clarke’s improved attitude with the press.

 

As usual there had to be a reporter who had to try and pry about her private life.

“Wanheda, you have been seen lately a lot closer with your assistant manager, Bellamy Blake. Are there sparks flying? The fans have been speculating for some time. The pictures that we saw from Dallas and Houston showed a closer relationship between you two.”

Clarke seemed baffled by her reaction. She blinked a couple of times. She perked her brows and began laughing. “What? Is this really the latest rumor?”

“It has been in certain circles of social media, they started calling you two Bellarke.”

Clarke burst in laughter now. “Really? I mean, come on guys, he’s my assistant manager and second to Marcus. Of course we’re going to spend some time together, as friends and co-workers. What is all this about this Bellarke shi-”

Marcus cleared his throat. “Thank you for your questions, that will be all for today. See you at the concert!”

  
Clarke couldn’t contain her smile as she stood up and waved farewell to the press. Lexa accompanied her to the exit and back to the elevator. She pressed her earpiece.

“We’re on our way back to Wanheda’s room. Remain on standby.”

“Seriously what is that stupidity?” Clarke asked rhetorically once she was out of hearing distance.

Lexa pressed the lift button and held the door as soon as it opened for Clarke. The elevator took them to Clarke’s floor, and both walked towards the room where she was going to stay.

“Why would I date someone who is like a brother to me?” Clarke asked. Lexa shrugged. “Your fans want to know more about you.  It is only natural that they reach the wrong conclusions.”

“I mean, it IS a terrible conclusion. Who on earth would think I have something with Bell? We have like a brother-sister relationship at most.”

“The fans will see what they want to see. Don’t let it trouble you.”

 

Clarke pulled out her keycard and opened the door. As established, Lexa entered the room first, and Clarke followed right behind.

Lexa checked the room in its entirety before returning to the living room where Clarke was waiting for her to give her the ‘clear’ signal.

“All clear, Ms. Griffin.”

“Could you stop doing that?” Clarke moved to the nearest couch and turned on the TV.

“Do what?”

“I thought we agreed to drop the formalities between us. You’ve been saying ‘Ms. Griffin’ to me for awhile now and I don’t like it.”

Lexa sighed, she raked her fingers through her chestnut curls before looking at the inquisitive cobalt eyes staring back at her. “I can’t keep using your first name. It is not okay. I’m your employee in a way.”

“Then if I’m your boss in an indirect way, I order you to use my name!” Clarke wouldn’t take no for an answer. Stubborn as hell.

“Clarke… I’m trying here to remain professional. Treating you the way I do is too personal.”

“I thought we were friends, Lexa.” Clarke shut down the TV since there was nothing on that interested her and stood up.

 

Lexa observed as Clarke approached her and stopped a foot away from her.

Clarke licked her rosy lips and Lexa followed with her eyes the motion of her tongue before reminding herself to stare at her eyes.

“You’re pushing me away, Lexa. Don’t think for a second I haven’t noticed.” Clarke began straightening the collar of her shirt. “Why? Is it because of what happened with Quint?”

“I’m doing this for you, Clarke. I’m your security expert, and being friends with you is blurring those lines. Crossing them is a mistake. We can’t be friends. End of discussion!”

Clarke kept quiet. She probably wanted to fight Lexa on it, but right now wasn’t the time. In lieu of talking, her hands moved to the lapels of the grey suit jacket Lexa wore today, smoothing the fabric.  Next she slid her hands over her shoulders.

“There.” Clarke let go of Lexa and immediately the warmth of her hands was missed. “This isn’t a mistake. We’re friends whether you accept it or not, Lexa.” She sighed, “I told you I didn’t mind Quint. Stop taking that responsibility when it was my call, not yours.”

Lexa hadn’t realized that they were leaning into each other slowly. Her throat was constricted, she gulped down trying to wet it but it was in vain. Clarke’s proximity was making her heart beat so fast, and Lexa was afraid the musician could hear the thump of her heart. Her eyes locked on the lips of the beautiful singer, lips with that cute beauty mark that she wanted to taste.

“Listen Clarke, I-”

 

“Clarke!” Marcus called behind the door. Lexa took a step back and Clarke went to answer it.

“This is your schedule for tomorrow.” Marcus handed Clarke a document. “The entertainment channel will send one of their TV hosts to talk to you about a segment we’re going to be filming this week. Make sure to be on your best behavior.”

“I got this, Marcus.”

“Lexa, please join us since I’m not sure how this is going to work with their crew and ours. So make sure to have all the details before letting any of them get close to Clarke.”

“No problem, Mr. Kane. I’ll speak with Anya and Lincoln about performing a check and research their crew as soon as your meeting is over.”

“Okay then, try to rest Clarke and see you two tomorrow.” Marcus smiled before he disappeared right from where he came from.

 

The two stood awkwardly now that the moment between the two had been broken.

“Do you need anything else for today, Ms. Griffin?” Lexa asked emotionless.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “No Lexa, thanks.” She walked towards the brunette and pulled her from her jacket making her tilt forward, and Clarke left a kiss on her cheek. “See you later.”

Her lips had left a scorching sensation as if she were on fire. Lexa never saw that coming and now she was a flustered mess. Lexa offered a kind tense smile before she turned on her heel and walked towards the door to exit.

 

///

 

Lexa, Anya and Lincoln were waiting for Clarke before taking her to the TV station to meet the host and discuss the show they planned to film.

The trio were already dressed in their ‘uniform’ for guarding duties, the three wearing matching navy blue suits with ties of different colors.

Lincoln was getting them coffee from the machine in the kitchen of Clarke’s room, and Lexa and Anya sat on the couch watching the news.

Lexa was quiet, her hands fidgeting on her lap. She had been having issues with sleep and not because of her repetitive nightmare that haunted her. This time Lexa’s dreams were crossing into the not suitable for work category, and Clarke was the main star in all of them. Which was pretty fucked up, since she was her client.

Anya studied Lexa; she was sitting on the arm of the couch. Sensing the distress of the younger woman was easy for Anya, after all, they had known each other since childhood.

However, the dirty blonde bodyguard kept her mouth shut. This was not the place to discuss this personal matter with her friend.

 

“Clarkey is ready to roll.” Raven announced. She was coming out of Clarke’s bedroom where she had been helping her with her hair.

“Good. Let’s get moving.” Lexa needed to focus on work and return to her protection mode mindset.

Clarke came out of her room, and Lexa almost dropped her jaw to the floor.

The gorgeous dress Clarke was wearing was a nice surprise for Lexa. She was used to seeing the rebel, rocker-y fashion style Clarke usually wore, but this time she was in a simple light blue dress that hung right above her knees, standing on white heels and a clutch in her hand. Her hair had been curled so it fell in waves around her shoulders, and her makeup was very simple, with soft colors and eyeliner on point.

“Hi Cla, err-” Lexa had to backtrack and remind herself to keep it formal. “Good day, Ms. Griffin.”

“Hey, my fave trio is here.” Clarke greeted the bodyguards. “I’m heading out Reyes. We’ll meet later for lunch with the band.”

“You betcha, Griffin.” Raven hugged her friend before making a short stop to speak with Anya. “Got my email?”

Anya nodded sporting a more sweet smile. Lexa never heard anything about Anya exchanging emails with the sound engineer. They apparently had developed a close friendship.

“I did, and lemme tell you. I can disarm that thing in less than 60 seconds.”

“Oh you can? Guess you’re gonna have to show me, cheekbones.” With that Raven left.

 

They all went into the offices of the Music & Entertainment channel after being stuck in traffic for a good portion of their morning.

Lexa and Anya stood against the far walls of the meeting room, blending in the background while Marcus and Clarke waited on the comfortable looking couch. The place was really colorful, with pictures of many artists from show biz hanging on the white walls contrasting with the thick black carpet and high floor to ceiling windows, offering a view to the buildings surrounding them.

A secretary offered Clarke and Marcus coffee to make them comfortable while they waited for the host. Some time later another woman entered the office.

“Good day, Mr. Kane. Wanheda.” The tall, curvy woman greeted and offered her hand once she reached Marcus and Clarke. “Finally, it is a pleasure to meet you. I’m Anacostia Del Bosque, host of the TV show _A Day in the Life_.”

“Nice meeting you Ms. Del Bosque.” Marcus shook the offered hand gently.

“Just call me Costia.” The brown-skinned woman curved her lips and as she did a little pimple appeared in the corner of her full lips. Her honey-colored eyes crinkled in their corners as she smiled fully. Her obsidian hair was tied in a bun leaving a slender neck exposed. She looked very professional with her pencil skirt and cream blouse combination.

Her eyes briefly focused on Lexa and Anya, and Costia offered a curt nod in greeting.

 

“Thank you for having us, Costia.” Clarke greeted next the TV host. “Call me Clarke, please.”

Costia took a seat in front of the manager and musician starting explaining the premise of the show.

“The objective is to follow Clarke for a couple of days to see the real life of Wanheda. To see a glimpse of her routines while on tour. My cameraman, Artigas and I will follow you.  Sometimes we will schedule short interviews with the staff and Clarke to add in the segment.”

“I see. I think that sounds reasonable.” Marcus pondered. “Of course, you’ll have to follow the protocol of personal security established by our team.”

“I have no issues with whatever you have established already. We adapt to the schedules of our guests to be 100% realistic.”

“Great, you should finish that conversation with Lexa.” Marcus smiled happy with the opportunity to bring more exposure to Clarke.

“Oh I have no qualms about that. It would be a pleasure to get acquainted with the security.” Costia said confidently.

Clarke frowned at the tiny flirty attitude from the TV host, but she didn’t give it much thought.

They discussed more details of Costia’s vision and what they could expect to see in the final product. A little glimpse in the world of Wanheda to understand how the industry worked and to see the woman behind the talented rock star.  Marcus hoped to show the new Wanheda that they have been working so hard to showcase.

 

After an hour the meeting was apparently over since everyone was satisfied with the plan.

“Anya, go ahead with Clarke and Marcus. I’ll stay behind to exchange information with the host and her crew.” Lexa ordered her partner.

“Very well, Lex. See you in a bit.” Anya walked towards Marcus and Clarke and informed them she was going to take them to Lincoln.

They exchanged farewells and next, Costia invited Lexa to take a seat. “Might I offer you something to drink?”

“No thank you, Ms. Del Bosque.”

Costia giggled, and it was actually a really nice sound to hear. “Costia please. Let’s discuss the security of your star then.”

“Very well.”

 

///

 

For the last hour and a half, Clarke has been in the concert venue with her band practicing and sound checking. The rest of the staff finished the stage platforms and tested the special effects and lighting.

The day before a concert everyone acted in different ways. The band fooled around and joked with one another while they practiced the songs that they would be playing. Marcus was making phone calls to distribute the press passes for the interview right before the concert, and Bellamy was dealing with the last minute issues. Some were stressed and others were having a good time. Raven tested the light beams and made adjustments to the sound produced by the big speakers following the instructions of Octavia, Harper or Monroe, depending on what sound they wanted. Jasper and Monty kept snapping pictures to upload to Wanheda’s account to keep the fans engaged at all times.

The cameraman, Artigas, from the TV show was taking shots of everything happening on the stage. The young man was moving around without disturbing the dynamic of the band and staff, taking shots of Wanheda in her natural environment.

 

“She’s amazing.” Costia walked to where Lexa stood observing.

“She’s very talented.” Lexa affirmed.

“So umm, tell me, is this how it goes all the time?” Costia asked. Her honey eyes looking deeply at the bodyguard with rapt attention.

Lexa nodded. “What you see is what you get. Ms. Griffin is authentic with her fans and around the crew she’s really kind.  Unlike other artists, her feet are on the ground.”

“I see. That’s wonderful to hear.” Costia took a step closer in order to be heard over the music playing at the moment. “How did you get involved with her?”

Lexa choked and coughed to cover her mishap. “What?”

“How did you get the job to be her security?” Costia raised her voice thinking Lexa didn’t hear the first time. “I’m assuming it was a coveted position. She’s a big star.”

“Ah, um, through my agency.” Lexa offered without giving details about how she had a big discussion with her boss about not wanting the job. She would rather be behind a boring lawyer than an extroverted singer.

“Hmmm, that’s interesting. You never know when I might need to hire extra security.” Costia smiled.

“You think you might be in danger?” The brunette asked with concern.

Costia was grinning now. “If I am, would you be around to save me?”

Lexa’s ears reddened slightly understanding Costia was just teasing her.

Costia took another step closer to keep the light conversation going but right at that instant a howling sound came out of the speakers, hurting everyone’s ears.

 

“Ow, Clarke what the hell?” Octavia stood from her drum chair to stretch her back.

“Sorry! I uh I didn’t see this speaker.” Clarke moved the microphone away from the big speaker located in the corner of the center stage.

“Yooo, Clarke. Can’t have feedback mid-concert, pay attention where you leave the mic if you’re gonna walk the stage!” Raven shouted from behind the black curtains.

Clarke returned to her position mumbling something, but the glare she threw at Lexa was disconcerting to the security that was observing her client.

“Okay let’s continue where we left off.” Harper told.

“On 1,2,3.” At that Octavia resumed playing the drums. Everyone joined as if nothing happened, it was interesting to see the chemistry between the musicians. Attuned to one another, flowing as a unit as each one of them played their instrument.

Clarke strummed her guitar harder, her voice slightly off key, the sound way too loud and completely off the beat.

“Woah, jesus Clarke you wanna kill us?” Monroe scratched her head.

Everyone stopped playing looking at their friend wondering why she was not concentrating.

“Aah, the amp is not working as it should.” Clarke notified removing her guitar in the process and disconnecting the cable of the amplificator.

“Really?” Raven walked to where Clarke was. “Okay boys, you heard it. Let’s check all the microphones and amps.  Gotta make sure all is running perfectly.”

“Let’s call it a day. I don’t think we need more practice here.” Clarke moved past Lexa without a word.

 

After that Clarke remained pretty much quiet the rest of the day. She simply wrote in her bedroom and didn’t want to be disturbed, and so Lexa let her be.

 

///

 

The next day in the morning the singer had to go for her photoshoot. Clarke was going to be on the cover of a very popular magazine, and Kane wanted everything to be perfect for his musician.

Lincoln drove Clarke to the photo studio. It was a cloudy day but that didn’t deter the fans that followed Clarke’s every step or diminish their enthusiasm. Reason why Lexa and Anya followed closely behind the singer. The two moved silently and observed the few reporters waiting outside to snap more pictures of Clarke and the fans that waved and shouted “Wanheda” to the top of their lungs.

They took the elevator until they reached the photo studio. Clarke stayed quiet during most of the travel, and Lexa started to wonder if something was bothering the usual chatty blonde.  However, she didn’t have time to deal with it.

Immediately, Clarke was swept away by the makeup and wardrobe teams.

 

Anya went with Clarke, while Lexa was sent into the studio where the photographer and his team were already prepping the area to welcome Clarke.

“Alright, give me more light in that corner.” The photographer ordered his staff. “Perfect!”

“Okay, where do you need me?” Clarke asked as she entered the studio.  From experience, she moved to stand on the taped marks on the floor. She had changed into leather pants and a pretty nice looking jacket. She looked edgy with the smoky makeup, and her hair was styled with spray products to give it more volume.

“Just sit on that bench and turn slightly to the left at a 45º angle.” The photographer looked through the viewfinder. “Wait. Raise your shoulder slightly upwards. There! Lower your chin and look at the camera!”

_CLICK CLICK_

“Beautiful!”

Lexa had never been to a photoshoot. Looking at the work it took to take pictures for magazines was an interesting process. The people around were focused on following the photographer's instructions. So much movement in the studio to make sure the shots were going to be amazing.

Photo after photo was taken, and working with Clarke was a joy. She was giving everything to the photographer, from cheeky smiles to more seductive looks. Whatever the photographer needed, Clarke provided.

 

“Looks really great, huh?” Costia stood beside the bodyguard as Artigas filmed for their TV show.

Lexa nodded to the TV host in agreement while her eyes continuously monitored the area around Clarke, checking for any safety hazard or anyone suspicious. “Sure.”

“It must be excruciating being in motion all the time, fulfilling commitments here and there.”

“It’s our job to be wherever Wanheda is needed. Ms. Griffin is a professional in all aspects of her career.” Lexa tried to offer neutral information since it wasn’t her business to talk about Clarke’s career or life.

Costia smiled pleased. “You don’t get bored at all, do you?”

“I’m not here to have fun. This is a simple job, that’s it.” Lexa answered observing that Clarke headed to the changing room trailed by Anya and came back a couple of minutes later with a new dress. The blonde was wearing a beautiful black cocktail dress. The setting was a swing, and she was having fun on it by the looks of it.

“Have you had any difficult encounters so far?” Costia inquired some more.

“Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Costia chuckled. “You’re a woman of few words.”

“It is not my place to speak of my client, Costia. My role here is to protect her and nothing else. If what you’re looking for is gossip then you’re with the wrong crew.”

Lexa lifted her chin, her eyes narrowed studying Costia.

Costia giggled shaking her head, her hand resting over Lexa’s shoulder.

“Not my intention, apologies if that’s how it came out. You’re very loyal to her, and I can respect that. You’re an interesting woman, Lexa.”

“Ms. Griffin is my client, my loyalty is to her, and I doubt I'm interesting enough when my place is in the dark.” Lexa shrugged and returned her attention to Clarke. She could have sworn that Clarke was watching her for a second there.

“Trust me, Lexa. You _are_ interesting. At least someone I could be interested in, that is.” Costia smiled and returned to Artigas’ side to continue recording their show.

Lexa scowled. She moved her fingers through her hair and watched Costia walk away with a sway of her hips that definitely made her stare a bit longer.

 

“Well squid, that’s what I call being smooth as fuck.” Anya rejoined Lexa. She was chewing something she probably took from the snack table. If there was something Anya loved, it was to eat for free.

“What?”

The taller blonde crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the wall. “Where the hell do you have your eyes, dummy!”

“Right on our client, Anya. Instead of spying on me you should be checking the shoot!” Lexa scolded her friend and focused her attention back on Clarke who was reviewing some pictures with the photographer.

“That was some big ass lesbian activity and you didn’t notice?” Anya curved her lips smugly.

“Anya, cut that out!” Lexa roared.

Anya made her way back to her position with a light chuckle.

Lexa definitely didn’t notice any sign of flirty attitude from Costia, why would she?

Her eyes were 100% on Clarke.

 

“Amazing work!” The tall man with the camera said as he hugged Clarke.

Clarke hugged the photographer back. “Thanks a lot. It was lots of fun.”

“My pleasure, the pictures are great, and I know the editors will have lots to work with.”

Clarke bid farewell to the staff and went into her dressing room, again in total silence. Not even a look on her direction.

Lexa was really worrying by now. Something was bothering Clarke for sure, and she hoped to find out what on earth was going on.  After all, that was part of her job, right?  She quickly convinced herself that she needed to know what was bothering Clarke in order to protect her.

 

///

 

She knocked on the door and waited for Clarke’s permission to come inside.

“It’s Lexa.”

“Yeah, come in.”

Lexa pushed the door open and found Clarke in the middle of the room changing her shoes. The dressing room was a bit smaller than what Lexa had seen before, but Clarke didn’t need as much space for this photoshoot. She was sitting on a small couch and then stood up.

“Hey, can you help me here? Need to unzip this dress.”

“Ah, of course.” Lexa stepped in and closed the door behind her before approaching Clarke. She moved behind Clarke and pulled her blonde and pink locks over her shoulder to reach the zipper behind her neck.

The sound of the zipper going down the length of her back was the only sound in the dressing room. Her fingers slightly grazed the length of Clarke’s back, scalding her fingers in the process. The small contact sending jolts of electricity through her body.

“Done.” Lexa said.

Clarke walked behind the folding screen inside the room to keep changing and talking. “So umm, since you’re in charge of my security, I think it’s important to let you know I will spend some time with a friend tomorrow after the concert.”

Lexa kept quiet. Kane never mentioned anyone in the city that they had to meet for work purposes. She made sure to check their schedule to keep it updated, and Lexa knew this wasn’t part of the itinerary.

Maybe this was what why Clarke had been so into herself lately.

“I don’t have this on schedule.” Lexa wanted to confirm her suspicion.

“Yeah, I know. This is personal and uhm, I promised last time that I wasn’t going to pull more disappearing acts on you. The reason why I’m telling you now.”

“I thought you were supposed to keep a low profile on this tour.”

“I do, but Marcus doesn’t have to know, does he? Or do you report everything I do without his permission to him?”

“No. I told you my fealty is to you and not Arkadia or Marcus. Wherever you go, I’ll go.”

“Okay then. I uh, I rather keep this between the two of us. Please?”

“Of course, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa said with a clipped tone. Not liking at all that Clarke was hoping for maximum secrecy if it was just a _friend_.

 

“May I have the details of this friend of yours?”

Once she was done changing her pants, Clarke walked away from the screen. She was into looser clothes and held her hair into a bun.

“Her name is Niylah Harrison. Sandy blonde hair, brown eyes, around 5’8’’ in height.” Lexa copied the information in her tablet. “Are you going to meet in a specific place?”

“Yeah, for dinner. Niylah made a reservation already so I’ll forward you the information.”

“That’d be helpful. Would you need anything else?”

Clarke kept pensive. Her blue eyes made contact with Lexa’s green.

Lexa noticed how pretty her eyes were, such a beautiful sky blue. It would be such a blessing to see the color of the sky every single morning when she woke up she thought.

Clarke opened her mouth, but she stopped whatever she was going to say. “No, that’d be all. Thanks Lexa.”

Lexa caught herself and took a deep breath. “When you’re ready to go we’ll depart to the hotel, Ms. Griffin. Excuse me.” Lexa said and turned away towards the exit. She looked over her shoulder and gave a short nod to the singer. She walked outside to wait for her.

 

A heavy feeling of concern found its way into the pit of her stomach.

Why she had never heard of this Niylah? What kind of friend was she if Clarke never spoke about her before? But mostly why did Clarke want to keep this a secret from everyone?

“Niylah? Who are you really?”

Lexa was afraid she wasn’t going to like the answer.


	7. Chapter 7

“That was incredible, 20,000 souls chanting your name.” Costia moved the microphone back to Clarke.

Clarke giggled, content with how the concert went. The crowd was huge, and they sang and interacted with her with so much enthusiasm. It was a joy to sing for them. “It was. The energy was amazing. I love my fans and singing to them and with them makes the hard work and travel worth it.”

“One more concert to go in Brooklyn. Then you’re heading to LA?”

“Yes, we’re taking a small break to start working on the new material and then we’re back to San Francisco to finish the last round of concerts.”

“That’s excellent. Once again, Wanheda. Congratulations on this successful concert and good luck on the last leg of the Infinity Tour.” Costia shifted to look at the camera. “I bet many fans are eager to have their hands on the new album. We’ll be back with more Wanheda after the break!”

“And cut!” Artigas gave a thumbs up before taking the camera in front of Costia and Clarke. “Okay, I’m going to start packing. Wait for you outside.”

“Okay, thanks Artie.”

 

Clarke reached for a water bottle sitting on her food table and uncapped it before taking a long sip. “Hope you’re getting good footage for your show.”

“Oh, we are. Tomorrow we’ll take some more shots to finish, but we have filmed plenty.  Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with all of us.”

“Thanks for allowing me to be a guest.” Clarke thanked Costia honestly.

“I have done this show with several people, and I have to say you’re actually one of the few who are pretty much the same in front and behind the cameras. You get along with everyone.”

Clarke dropped the empty bottle into the trash bin and picked up a hand towel to dry off a little sweat. “Yeah, my staff is pretty cool.”

Costia seemed a bit pensive for a second before speaking again. “You even get along with your security. You don’t dismiss anyone on your staff.”

That made Clarke tilt her head into Costia’s direction to be able to look at the woman. That was a very curious comment for sure. Clarke was sensing something here, and she was no idiot. Costia might be one hell of a TV host, but Clarke had plenty of experience dealing with paparazzi to not smell that Costia was fishing for information. “I do. The three of them are great people.”

“I agree. Umm, have you known them for a long time?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes trying to understand the purpose of this off-the-record conversation. “We have been working together for around 5 months. Lexa, Lincoln and Anya are true pros. Great people.”

“That’s wonderful.” Costia seemed satisfied with her questioning for now. “Anyway, thanks and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Costia shook Clarke’s hand.

“Sure, see you Costia.”

 

At that moment Raven came inside the dressing room.

“Hey Costia, ¿cómo vas?” Raven seemed quite familiar with her, too.

“Todo bien, Raven. Ya terminando de grabar por hoy.”

“Cool. Oye y ¿Por qué no vienes con nosotras mañana en la noche? Tenemos una pequeña reunión de chicas aquí en el bar del hotel y así te despides de la banda.” Raven asked Costia.

“Ahm, bueno. No sé…”

“Sin pena, eres más que bienvenida y Lexa y su equipo van a estar allí.” Raven winked.

Costia giggled. “Gracias y nos vemos entonces mañana.”

Raven waved goodbye to Costia and met Clarke who was in the corner of the room with her arms crossed in front of her chest, her feet tapping on the floor impatiently.

 

“What was all that? Since when are you and Costia close?” Clarke perked her brow, not amused at all that her best friend didn’t even mention she was friends with Costia.

“She interviewed me to show the concert behind the scenes for her TV program. Also she’s really cool Griffin, aaaaand she has the eye on our dear Commander. How cute is that!”

Clarke gasped. “Is that why you mentioned Lexa? What the hell were you two talking about?”

Raven nodded. “I was telling Costia to join us at the bar tomorrow so she can say goodbye to the band. Costia has taken a special liking to our Lexa, and that would be a good time to at least say her farewells before we continue with the tour.”

“Leave Lexa alone, Raven. Maybe she isn’t interested.”

Raven waved her finger tutting at the blonde. “Because Lexa is busy watching you, Clarke. According to Anya’s stories Lexa is one awkward gay bean, but Costia is totally fair game. It would be nice to make our commander smile, don’t you agree?”

Clarke was too busy to pay close attention to what was Lexa doing during her photoshoot yesterday. She did notice that Costia and Lexa were talking for a bit though.

It was hard to tell what Lexa was thinking since she had closed off to her completely, treating her with more coldness. However, Raven and Anya had gotten actually close, and she trusted the information from Raven.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever Rae. Time to go. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, Griff. I’ll make the reservation for the bar in a bit and send the confirmation through text.” Raven informed before Clarke left her dressing room.

 

Clarke was tired, and this Costia situation with Lexa was starting to give her a headache. Also she needed to see Niylah and have a talk with her friend. After all, it had been quite some time since they last saw each other. Clarke did appreciate her friendship with the business woman. They met and became acquainted at a benefit gala last year.

Things got hot between them, but it was all in the name of having a good time, which was something Clarke was looking for - no strings attached. Niylah was company and solace to her crazy life, a little stop in the madness of it all, however, it wasn’t fair to the businesswoman to be used only for Clarke’s selfish reasons. Clarke hoped she could keep her friendship with the woman even though the benefits were about to expire.

 

///

 

Outside her room everyone was packing and getting ready to move on to their next destination. Clarke frowned because Lexa wasn’t outside her dressing room as she thought she would be. Instead the one who was waiting for her was Anya.

“Ready, Ms. Griffin?”

“Aah yeah but um, where is Lexa?”

“She’s with Ms. Del Bosque organizing the filming schedule for tomorrow. Do you require anything?”

“No, not really.”

Again, Costia. Clarke was truly starting to feel ill.

“Wanheda on the way.” Anya informed the team through her earpiece, and Clarke followed the taller bodyguard.

Everyone around them were congratulating Clarke for the excellent concert tonight. Clarke smiled and shook hands and high-fived her crew as she made it to the exit area.

 

When they turned towards the back parking lot. Clarke spotted Lexa speaking with Costia. The TV host could always be seen smiling, yet with Lexa her smile was brighter, she basically glowed.

Clarke watched their interactions afar with discretion. She didn’t know Costia well, but so far she had been nothing but friendly, except that special attention extended to one of her bodyguards.

That didn’t sit too well with her. Particularly because now that she was actually paying attention, Anya might have been right about what she told Raven.

Clarke was weary of Costia’s motives. It wouldn’t be the first time that someone became close to a member of her crew to get to her. Lexa was part of her staff, and those close to her were basically family. After all, she spent more time with them than with her own mother. Clarke felt a little possessive regarding her team, and Costia was messing with one important piece of her little family on the road.

“Wait, repeat again?” Anya stopped abruptly, and Clarke almost bumped into Anya’s back due to being distracted by Costia and Lexa. “Ahm, roger that Linc. No not the East, they will be waiting there too, let’s go through the cargo area, should be there in 5.” Anya turned around and said to Clarke. “Ms. Griffin, there are a lot of fans outside this exit, and I doubt they are planning on leaving. We’re moving you through the cargo bay exit instead, since it’s not the regular one, the fans won’t be expecting you out through there.”  
Clarke nodded.

 

Lexa offered her hand to Costia who shook it in return happily, but Costia held it longer than what anyone would consider a friendly shake. After that, Lexa joined them on their way to the other exit.

“Costia will join you for the fan meeting of the TV contest winners to conclude their filming. I already discussed where she and Artigas can meet us to start with the interview she has planned.”

_Costia?_

Clarke felt a pang of envy. Lexa refused to use her first name, but she was on a first name basis with the TV host already?

“You and _Costia_ are getting along really well, huh?” Clarke said with a tone that implied certain jest and slight animosity.

“Costia is nice.” Lexa stated not catching the passive aggressiveness of the singer. She kept walking behind Clarke to continue her extraction from the concert venue following the regular protocol.

“That she is,” Clarke couldn’t deny that. “Very pretty, tall and sexy. A very attractive woman.” Clarke said with certain spite. She had no idea why she was feeling sick just thinking about Costia getting this close to Lexa.

 

They reached the cargo bay, and Anya opened the door to guide Clarke to her car.

“Holy fuck!” Anya noticed the mob of fans waiting for Clarke at this exit as well. “I thought this was empty but I was wrong.”

_WANHEEDAAAAAAAA!_

_I LOVE YOU WANHEDAAAA!_

The shouts of the fans became louder when they spotted Clarke and quickly they blocked the pathway to the car.

“We can’t backtrack now Anya. Stay in the front, and I’ll be right behind with Clarke.” Lexa immediately entered Clarke’s personal space, resting her hand on her lower back. “Stay with me, and don’t stop to greet anyone. We’ll go straight to the car so stay close to me.” Lexa spoke in her ear, making sure Clarke understood this was serious.

Anya started to push apart the fans at the front while Lexa kept trying to surround Clarke as much as she could with her arms and body to keep the fans at a distance from the start. Overexcited fans were extending their arms to touch her, others were filming and taking pictures up close, practically shoving the cellphones in her face.

“Hey, BACK OFF!” Lexa swatted a couple of hands that reached for Clarke’s body trying to touch the woman. They pulled her shirt and tried to touch their idol without any control. Their enthusiasm was completely off the charts, shouting and basically closing in on them despite Anya forcibly opening a path to move Clarke out of harm's way.

Anya quickly opened the door of the car, but the fans were pushing each other hard. Others were screaming and crying. It was total chaos because they wanted to get to Wanheda, no matter the cost.

“Please guys, stay back!” Clarke tried to calm the euphoric fans to no avail.

Lexa looped an arm around Clarke and pressed her against her body to keep her as shielded as her body allowed.

Anya closed the car door to prevent fans from climbing in the car and quickly came to help Lexa.  Clarke and Lexa were moving at a snail’s pace since there had to be at least 50 fans surrounding them and more running towards them.

“Please, get back!” Anya pried some crazy boy pulling Clarke’s shirt and eased Clarke inside the car. Lexa jumped in right behind Clarke, and Anya hurried to the front passenger seat to get away.

“Go go go!” Anya said to Lincoln.

 

“What the hell!” Lincoln was trying not to hit or run over the fans. They continued surrounding the car and hitting the tinted car windows still screaming and begging Clarke to open up, to hug them and kiss them.

“This is insane!” Anya was still catching her breath. They moved Clarke less than 10 meters, and it felt like they went through a war zone.

_BEEP BEEP!_

Lincoln kept the gas steady, careful not to push too much until the fans could be left behind. He maneuvered the car until finally they reached the main exit and was able to push the pedal and leave the mob of fans.

Clarke let out a long breath and reclined herself on the leather seats. “Wow, that was crazy.”

“Yeah, they were too excited. They wanted to rip you apart.” Lexa removed her seatbelt and scooted towards Clarke.

“They were trying to reach you, did they hurt you?” Lexa’s eyes roamed over Clarke’s body.

“I don’t know. Maybe a couple of scratches on my back and arms, but I’m okay.”

“Okay. We’ll be at the hotel very soon. Dr. Jackson can check you there.”

“No, I’m really okay.”

“Still, I’ll make the call for him to be ready and check up on you.”

“Okay.” Clarke knew there was no point arguing about this. She pulled her cellphone and texted Niylah to let her know that she was going back to her hotel and to confirm their dinner later.

 

///

 

Clarke dressed in black jeans and a flannel. She wore comfortable slip ons. She put on light makeup and let her hair loose with a half ponytail on the back of her head. She grabbed her purse before heading to Lexa’s floor to meet her bodyguard.

After taking the elevator, she reached the empty hall and decided to sit on one of the available benches close to the lifts while she waited. A couple of minutes later Lexa finally arrived, and Clarke was surprised to see Lexa in casual clothes and not her regular suits, much less her gym clothes.

She was dressed in skinny blue jeans and a maroon and navy blue checkered casual shirt with a spread collar.  She had the long sleeves rolled up to her elbows and a curved hem. She wore brown ankle boots to complement her attire. Her makeup was simple just like her hair held in braids. Lexa was so beautiful that for a moment she forgot Lexa was not her date but Niylah.

“I ah- I thought since this is a secret meeting the best way to keep you under the radar was to dress casually, but if you rather have me in my suit I’ll change right away.” Lexa knitted her brows assuming she was wrong to dress in this type of outfit.

Blinking out of her stupor and after shamelessly checking out Lexa she finally reacted. “Ah no, it’s okay. I don’t mind your clothes. They are perfect. Lowkey is good.”

“Before we leave you should wear this.” Lexa gave Clarke a red wig. “The fans might not be looking for a redhead anymore.” Lexa curved her lips and that familiar lopsided grin that Clarke was fond of made its appearance.

“Ha, very clever!” Clarke put on the wig and fixed it a bit with her fingers, combing it.

“Let’s go, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa was quick to return to an emotionless robot, and it made Clarke furious.

She was getting tired of this nonsense.

The duo used the back exit of the hotel to drive Clarke to the restaurant to meet Niylah.

 

Lexa kept quiet on the ride, but Clarke noticed the uneasiness of the woman, if the strong grip Lexa had on the steering wheel was any indication. Clarke kept changing radio stations trying to fill the silence between them. It was clear that Lexa wasn’t going to break the silence between them, and Clarke had no idea how to approach her without causing a rift between them.

After driving around the city Lexa reached the destination, finding a parking spot close to the selected restaurant.  She wasted no time opening the door for Clarke.

“Let’s go, Ms. Griffin.”

Clarke and Lexa walked side by side until they reached the hostess who welcomed them with a big smile.

“Hi, reservation for Ms. Harrison?” Clarke asked.

The hostess checked her computer and nodded. “Alright, follow me.”

“I uh, I’ll stay at the bar if you need me.” Lexa remarked with a grim face and walked away.

Clarke watched as Lexa moved to the bar with her larger than life presence. People looked at her just because Lexa’s presence was magnetic. A woman who demanded attention and respect. A gorgeous woman that made men and even some women follow her with their lustful stares.

That was the Lexa that was with Clarke today. Nowhere in sight was the shy, soft woman who shared some personal stories while they were on the elliptical machines.

“Enjoy your night.” The hostess said before leaving the menu for both women jolting Clarke back to reality as to where she was.

 

Niylah stood up and greeted Clarke with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Hey Clarke, you look beautiful as ever. Surprised that your hair is red.”

“Niylah, is so good to see you. You know that I rather keep a discreet presence when I’m with you.”

Niylah nodded as her fingers reached for the red tresses of the wig. “Hmmm, I’m more acquainted with the red, but I like your natural look.”

They both sat and took a menu.

“I already ordered wine for us, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, that’s great.”

They ordered their meals a moment later and finally were left alone to chat comfortably. As Lexa predicted, no one was looking for a redhead. It made her escapade more relaxing and allowed her to stop looking over her shoulder knowing that Lexa was going to keep her safe.

 

“Gosh, you’re here again. I was happy to see you would stop by the city.” Niylah smiled as she drank from her full glass of red wine.

“Me too.” Clarke raised her glass and took a sip, “How’s work?”

“Going well. Handling deals here and there, the usual. You seem to be doing more than great. I’ve seen some news about your successful tour.”

Clarke sliced the meat on her plate to take another bite. She munched enjoying the delicious flavor before she answered. “Yeah, I’m glad it’s going like the label expected.”

Clarke glanced to the other end of the dining room to check on Lexa. The bodyguard was observing her as well, so she offered her a comforting smile, but Lexa simply tilted her gaze back to her drink.

She felt really bad about using Lexa’s protection in her affairs. Lexa had no obligation to be here since this was not work related. Involving Lexa was risky, but she trusted the woman to keep her secret and no one else.

“Good. It sounds that you’re on the path for greater things. Wish you could come more often. I’d visit you too, but you’re always on the move.”

“I know, but I’m here now. So let’s not worry about that anymore.”

She returned her attention to Niylah, and the two chatted amicably for the rest of the dinner.

 

Clarke laughed at a comment from the sandy blonde woman who was as charming as ever. Nonetheless she returned her attention to Lexa who was still at the bar drinking what looked like sparkling water. She couldn’t help but keep checking on her bodyguard from time to time, to see if she was okay.

Kind of ironic when it was Lexa’s job to watch her instead.

“Clarke?”

Niylah called claiming Clarke’s attention again.

“What?”

Niylah giggled. “I was asking if you wanted dessert, but you’ve been absentminded all night long.” Niylah pointed with her chin back at the bar. “Who’s that?”

“Huh?” Clarke realized she hadn’t been as subtle as she thought.

“You’ve been checking that hot woman pretty much all night. Did you get bored of me already?”

“Uh, sorry and not at all, she’s with me. She’s actually my bodyguard.”  
“Bodyguard? Wow this is new.”

“Yeah. Marcus thought it was extremely important that I was watched at all times during the tour.”

“I see. I wonder if it was hard for you to adapt having all these people with you all the time.”

Clarke laughed remembering how problematic it had been the first few weeks with Lexa and her grounders. How she couldn’t escape the shadow of the security expert no matter where she went. “You’ve got no idea.”

“Are you worried for her?”

“It’s my fault she’s there. I feel kinda bad since it was her free night.”

“Of course you do. You’re always worrying for others.” Niylah called the waiter and not a minute later he offered a drink to Lexa who frowned not understanding why she was getting a free drink. That is until she looked back at the table, and Niylah raised her glass in toast.

Lexa narrowed her eyes, but she raised her own in acceptance, still very cautious of the businesswoman.

“Consider that a thank you on my behalf to your bodyguard for keeping you safe.” Niylah winked graciously and continued her conversation with Clarke.

 

Niylah paid the check and the two walked outside followed by Lexa who was walking several steps behind, trying to give them privacy while remaining close enough to protect Clarke. And Clarke was thankful for Lexa’s efforts to at least try to keep the illusion of independence.

Niylah and Clarke reached a small park where they could be more comfortable and not near many people.

Niylah held Clarke’s hand in hers and even though it never bothered Clarke when she did, tonight it felt weird.

They reached a bench, surrounded by big trees so it was dark and any stranger had to be too close to recognize Clarke. The moon was high above, and the light breeze was cold. The hidden location and the lack of people made it the perfect place to talk.

Lexa stopped near a tree a couple of feet away keeping her eyes on Clarke while avoiding bothering the duo.

 

The entrepreneur leaned in and captured Clarke’s lips. It was a soft, tentative kiss and Clarke didn’t respond.

“I’ve missed you very much, Clarke.” Niylah rested her hand on Clarke’s cheek. Tracing her skin softly with her thumb, her hazel eyes finding blue orbs that looked back with certain confusion and apprehension.

“Niylah look, I don’t wan-”

“I know…” Niylah smiled, but it was a sad small smile. “I’d love to spend more time with you, to have more time besides these escapades at night as if this was wrong... or is it?”

“I aah, well, it’s not wrong or that I’m ashamed to be with you.” Clarke took ahold of Niylah’s hands and held them in her own. “My life is too complicated right now, and you deserve someone who can be whole with you. Someone who can love you fully.”

“I- I understand. I accepted our terms the first time we started this thing. So um, do you want to stop seeing each other, is that it?”

“I’d love to remain being friends. I don’t want to lose our friendship. I value you very much.”

“And you won’t, Clarke.” Niylah furrowed her brows, her eyes slid to the woman standing behind the tree meters away from them and back to Clarke. “Are you interested in someone else?”

“No, there’s no one else. I can’t keep fooling around, not when I have my career to think about and it’s not fair to you. That’s all.”

Niylah pulled Clarke’s hands and kissed them. “Fair enough. I guess no more sex, huh?”

“No, no more casual sex.”

“Shame. But you know that I’m here for you, Clarke. If only friends is the only way I get to be with you, then I’m okay with it.”

“You’re a gift, Niylah.”

The two women continued discussing their lives and catching up on each other’s activities.

They stood up after they ended their conversation and made their way back to the parking lot.

 

There, Niylah leaned in and claimed Clarke’s lips in a chaste last farewell kiss. Lexa looked away for a second to avoid mingling in the romantic moment between the two women.

After they split Clarke hugged Niylah. “Thanks for tonight.”

“No problem, gorgeous. I hope to see you before you leave again.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Niylah turned around and met Lexa up close. Both were engaged in what looked like a staring contest, scoping each other out.

“Nice meeting you. I’m Niylah.” She offered her hand, and Lexa took it.

“Lexa and thanks for the drink.” The bodyguard finally replied.

“My pleasure.” Niylah’s lips turned into a cocky grin before she went into her own car. “See you Clarke.”

Lexa observed Niylah with curiosity. Next, she headed to the SUV to drive Clarke to the hotel.

“Let’s go back, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa opened the door for the blonde.

Now that Clarke was done with Niylah, she hoped she could have some quality time with Lexa as well to reconnect with her.

 

///

 

After parking the car, Lexa escorted Clarke back to her room as any responsible bodyguard would do. Clarke was glad she could spend some time with Niylah and clear things between them, but she was more concerned with Lexa’s detached attitude towards her.

She opened the door to her bedroom, and Lexa was right about to excuse herself like she always did.

Clarke missed the company of the woman who spent the early mornings at the gym talking to her. She missed just being with Lexa, not this emotionless version of the security expert.

Clarke wanted to recover the other Lexa. This distance that Lexa self-imposed on them was hurting Clarke deeply.

“Lexa, why don’t you join me for a drink? I think I owe you one for this big favor.” Clarke tried.

“No need, Ms. Griffin. It’s my-”

“Job. I know, Lexa. But can you make an exception tonight? I miss talking with you, you know? I miss us being close.”

Lexa pondered it for a second. Clarke could see the gears in her mind debating whether to stay or go.

“Please?” Clarke begged her, taking a shot to gain the sympathy of the hardened woman and convince her to stay.

Lexa sighed, and Clarke just knew she made her decision.

“Okay.” Lexa said with certain hesitation.

“Great! Come in!”

Lexa followed after Clarke into her suite and shut the door right behind her securely.

 

Lexa sat in the living room while Clarke removed her red wig and shoes to be barefoot. Getting herself already comfortable in her room.  She checked the mini-fridge.

“What can I offer you? Beer, wine, vodka, coke? We can order room service if you want.”

“A soda is fine. Thank you.” Lexa answered with politeness, still cold.

She returned and handed one can to Lexa, and she grabbed a beer for herself.

Clarke took the other couch and uncapped the bottle.

“Cheers!”

Lexa lifted her can and drank from it.

“So um… that’s your friend Niylah.” Lexa asked avoiding Clarke’s gaze. She was fidgeting with the can’s pull tab.

“Yeah. So what do you think?”

Lexa perked her brow, “About Niylah?”

“Mhmm.”

Lexa remained pensive, not sure what to say. “Ehm, she seems like a good woman.”

Clarke chuckled and drank from the bottle in her hand. “Please, Lexa. I know you probably already checked her background and know everything there is to know about Niylah.”

That made Lexa curve her lips more naturally.  She was starting to warm up to Clarke again. “I did, but to be sure you weren’t dating a psycho. She’s doing great in her business and has no trouble with the law.”

“I uh, we’re not exactly dating.”

“Oh, sorry. I thought that… my mistake Ms. Griffin.” Lexa mumbled behind the soda can.

 

They kept drinking their beverages in awkward silence for a bit. Until Clarke decided to speak again. “We hooked up whenever I was around though. It was a mutual agreement, but it’s over now.”

That grabbed Lexa’s attention. “I guess Niylah wasn’t happy about that?”

Clarke burst in laughter shaking her head. “Actually, Niylah was okay with staying friends. It was me who was the asshole who took advantage of the benefits.”

“I see.” Lexa's tilted her can until it was completely empty. Leaving it on the table. “Why did you change your mind then? Are you interested in someone else?”

Clarke laughed again shaking her head. “Why everyone is asking me that?” After Clarke calmed down from her laughter she said. “I’m doing this for my career.”

Lexa nodded. “For your career?”

“Yup. Wanheda is who I am. That’s who I have to become to succeed because that’s all people see - Wanheda this Wanheda that. No matter what else I do, everything goes back to be this person I have become.” Clarke laughed bitterly. “Sometimes I hate being Wanheda.”

“It must be lonely at the top.” Lexa said.

“It is. Which is why I tried to fill this emptiness inside of me with someone else, but it wasn’t working.” Clarke chuckled, “I think we both need something stronger for this talk, huh?”

Lexa crooked the corner of her lips. “Sure.”

 

Clarke picked up the Jack bottle resting on the beverage counter and took two glasses with a bucket of ice. She returned to the couch and this time she sat next to Lexa. She poured the amber liquid in both glasses with a couple of ice cubes and gave one to the brunette.

“Do you feel lonely?” Clarke asked after taking a generous sip from her drink.

“Sometimes… yes.” Lexa answered earnestly, she licked her lips before taking the drink. An action that Clarke noticed up close.

“Then why do you push me away? We’re both lonely so why do you reject my friendship and not Costia’s?” Clarke needed to know.

She bumped her glass with Lexa’s and finished her drink. Then she picked up the bottle again and refilled both of their glasses. Boy, this alcohol was making her tongue way less guarded, but the burn down her throat felt really good.

“Ms. Griff-”

“Say Ms. Griffin one more time and I’ll knock you out with this bottle.” Clarke warned but in a playful manner.

Lexa laughed and raised her arms in defeat. “Sorry, Clarke.”

Clarke missed hearing Lexa saying her name so much; a thousand of butterflies erupted in her belly and hearing that laughter was like hearing angels sing once again.

 _Victory!_ Clarke gave herself a mental high-five and drank in celebration.

“Is it because I’m just an assignment to you, Lexa?”

Lexa simply drank, ignoring Clarke’s inquiries. Drinking and drowning in her own thoughts.

“I’m Wanheda to you as well. Got it.” Clarke shrugged, no longer insisting on this topic.

 

“I do see you, Clarke.” Lexa said after a long moment of silence between them. “You’re so strong, even after the press ripped you to pieces last year you’re still here. You’re writing new songs and composing, despite many having doubts about your talent. You give your heart to your fans fully and ask nothing in return, and I admire you for the kind of person you are… God knows you’re not just an assignment to me.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Clarke asked.

“You’re a distraction.”

“I uh, I don’t get it.”

Lexa took a deep breath. She arranged her back on the couch to be more comfortable and took a swig of her alcoholic beverage emptying the glass before refilling again. “My first partner in Trikru was named Gustus. I was a noob, recently transferred from my desk job at the Police. Gustus guided and cared for me like a father would for his kid.” Lexa drank choking a sob.

“You cared for him.” Clarke noticed the slight tremble of Lexa’s lips, and it broke her.

Lexa nodded before proceeding. “We had a big assignment - to protect a lawyer who was dealing with a drug case. One late night we were ambushed outside of the office of our client. We fought hard against the hitmen, and we defeated them in the end. I assumed we were safe as we made our way back to the car to transfer the lawyer. I was reeling from the high of the fight when someone came out of nowhere and shot at our client. I was too slow to protect him, but Gustus was closer. He jumped into the fray taking the bullets meant to kill the lawyer. I shot the gunman, but I failed my partner who trusted in me to keep my eyes open. Gustus died because I assumed we were out of the woods. I should have known they would have backup. If I had been paying more attention, I would have spotted him first. I made a mistake because I was distracted. Emotions are a weakness in this job, and I can’t be weak, Clarke.”

Clarke took Lexa’s free hand in hers. “How could you have known? The assassin was hidden, and he surprised you both. It was a situation that no one could have predicted, and you did the best you could to keep your client safe.”

“It was my fault, Clarke.” Lexa drank sadly.

“Having emotions is not a weakness. It is a human thing, Lexa.”

“Distractions can get people killed, Clarke. I swore to protect you and that’s what I’m going to do.”

Lexa began rubbing her thumb absentmindedly over Clarke’s hand.

In what moment had they laced their fingers?

The contact sent a jolt of electricity and spread warmth throughout her body. Maybe it was the alcohol, Clarke thought.

 

“Sorry, I uh, I shouldn’t have dumped this on you.” Lexa snickered and left the empty glass on the table. “I shouldn’t have had anything to drink. I’m such a lightweight.”

“I’m here for you, Lexa. Even if you keep fighting me all the way because you believe that nonsense that you got your partner killed, which you didn’t, I’m not going to accept that crap.” Clarke sighed wistfully, holding Lexa’s hand tighter.

“I knew you wouldn’t.” Lexa grinned dreamily due to the booze in her system. “You’re hard headed, Wanheda.”

“So are you, Commander.”

Both shared drunken giggles.  It felt so normal, being together sitting on a couch drinking to open up their hearts and share a bit of the weight they both carried.

“You’re an amazing woman, Clarke. When you sing and become Wanheda, it’s still you who pours her heart out. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, no matter what Marcus or Bellamy say. When everyone finally sees the real you they will fall in love with you… It’s inevitable.” Lexa mumbled the last words.

Clarke’s heart was about to rip out of her chest by how hard and fast it was beating. In that moment, Clarke believed that for the first time she felt at peace. That her heart was full and content just by being in the company of a woman named Lexa Woods, not a bodyguard but a woman with her own insecurities, her own pain and fears.

“I see you too, Lexa.” Clarke whispered.

 

Lexa blinked, they both locked eyes - the sky and ground converging in an infinite loop - time stood still and for the shortest second Clarke saw herself in Lexa’s eyes.  Lexa probably saw the same because Clarke saw how Lexa immediately removed her gaze and shut herself to Clarke again. “I uh, I better get going, tomorrow you have the meet and greet and we both need to be up early. Thanks for the drinks.”

“Thank you, Lexa. For tonight.”

_For sharing a piece of your heart with me._

This conversation had been one of the most honest she had had in a long time. It had been intense but also allowed her to know more about the real Lexa. The one who made her feel butterflies in her belly and drove her nuts with her delicious perfume.

“Rest well, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa chuckled seeing the roll of Clarke’s eyes as she stumbled slightly heading outside the room before Clarke indeed punched her.

“Good night, Lexa.”


	8. Chapter 8

It was extremely cold and dark.  Blackness surrounded them. The sounds of gunfire broke the eerie silence that seeped through the darkness. Lexa ran for cover, and she pulled out her Smith and Wesson M&P Shield from her holster and began shooting. She checked over her shoulder to make sure Gustus was covering their client.

She shot one, two, three times and every bullet hit their target with expert accuracy. Lexa smirked confidently as the bodies of their enemies fell one by one. After the showdown ended, she left her cover to meet her partner.

Lexa holstered her gun and smiled, happy to see her partner in one piece. “Gotta move on, Gus. I’m hungry by the way.”

Gustus laughed with his gruff voice. “Of course you are.”

Lexa was heading back to the parking lot when she heard several gunshots behind her. She instinctively turned around pulling her gun and saw Gustus falling down in slow motion. Lexa fatally shot the gunman one time in the head and ran to her client and partner.

“Gustus! Hang in there. I’m going to call an ambulance!” Lexa pressed his huge chest soaked in blood.

“Stay strong.” He croaked as his throat filled with more blood.

“No, no no.” Lexa shook her head pressing as hard as she could to no avail. “Gustus, wake up!”

“Distractions, Lexa. They will get her killed.” The big man said as his body fell limp in Lexa’s arms.

Lexa creased her brows because there was no one else there besides herself and their client.

“Lex...aaaahh.”

That voice. She recognized that husky, raspy voice anywhere in the world.

“Clarke.”

Lexa turned around and saw the body of the musician on the floor lying in a pool of blood. Lexa felt cold seep into her bones as the image of the bloody body made her feel sick to her stomach. Lexa stumbled on her way to reach the blonde, but she couldn’t get to her.

“CLARKE!” Lexa extended her arm but couldn’t reach her. She was becoming further and further away.

“You killed her.” Gustus said. “You let this happen.”

“Please, no. Not Clarke. NOT CLARKE!”

 

Gasping for breath, Lexa woke up. She was sitting in her bed in the hotel room. On the bed next to hers was Anya still deeply asleep. Everything was quiet and the red numbers on the clock on the night table indicated it was early morning. Just a couple of minutes before her time to go to the gym.

Lexa felt sick to her stomach and moved as fast as her body allowed to reach the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before spilling the contents of her stomach, which was mostly the alcohol from last night.

After having nothing else to puke, she flushed the toilet and shakily moved to the sink. She rinsed her mouth to remove the bile and acidic taste spitting several times until it didn’t feel so raw. She felt weak with sweat coating her head and her sleeping shirt too. Lexa brushed her teeth and used the mouthwash until her mouth was fresh like mint. She splashed cold water on her face to wake herself up and moved back to her bed still reeling from the nightmare.

She sat against the headboard, resting her elbows over her knees and cradled her face in her hands. Her heart was still pumping hard, so she breathed deeply in and out slowly, trying to regain some control of her heart.

That nightmare had been much worse because it wasn’t Gustus anymore, it was also Clarke. Clarke haunting her dreams was expected, not this way though.

 

“Lex? What’s wrong?” Anya lifted her head from her pillow and turned on the night lamp to check on her friend. Anya squinted her eyes to adjust her sight to the sudden light. She removed the covers and walked to the other bed where she sat by the brunette’s side.

“You’re cold.” Anya took Lexa’s hand in hers and tried to look at her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Lexa please, I heard you in the bathroom. What’s going on? You sick?”

Lexa shook her head. “Just a nightmare.”

Anya nodded. She already knew about Lexa’s nightmares. They were recurring but she was getting better, at least that’s what Anya thought.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really. I uh, I better head to the gym.” Lexa pulled away from Anya who was still watching her every move with concern.

“Are you sure?”

“It will help me. It always does.” Lexa said trying to infuse confidence into her voice to avoid worrying Anya.

She threw on some sweatpants and a shirt, changed into sneakers and grabbed her gym bag in front of the closet before she exited their shared room.

“Don’t forget the meet and greet starts in 4 hours, be sure to be here on time and with your mind clear.” Anya advised just before Lexa closed the door.

Lexa offered a nod in response and moved on.

 

As expected the gym was empty, the air conditioner was fresh enough but not too cold. Lexa had enough chills already from that nightmare. Lexa pulled out her Ipod and put on the earbuds before jumping on the static bicycle. She wasn’t feeling well.  Of course, partially because of the disturbing nightmare, but she also was sporting a bit of a hangover. She knew she shouldn’t have taken a drink with Clarke. Because of her job she tended to stay away from alcohol, but Clarke was opening up, and she wanted to be there for the blonde. She drank and of course she opened her big mouth, spilling the beans of her miserable life.

Now she had no idea how was Clarke going to view her. She didn’t want pity from anyone, much less from Clarke.

Last night felt like a dream-like fantasy. Lexa felt comfortable. It was as if she belonged in there, by the side of the musician whose laughter was so contagious. Her beautiful smile and gorgeous blue eyes were mesmerizing, and Lexa was a fool falling under her spell. She should have said no to Clarke, to put space between her client and herself.  But she was so damn weak. As soon as Clarke batted those long eyelashes begging her to stay, she couldn’t turn her down.

Lexa shook her head as images from her encounter with Clarke last night became more vivid in her mind. She started to push the pedals faster, focusing on the music blasting from her earbuds instead of thinking of Clarke. However, Lexa knew that no matter how much she pedaled she wasn’t going to escape Clarke Griffin.

It was inevitable.

 

Yes. Inevitable.

That was the word Lexa was looking for when Anya first asked her to describe Clarke Griffin for the first time. It wasn’t until last night that Lexa realized that best described her relationship with Clarke. After months of being on tour Lexa had become part of the crew, part of this knit group of friends that surrounded Clarke. Everyone considered the security trio family at this point. That was something that Lexa didn’t expect from these people, but all of them welcomed and treated the grounders as part of their own.

They developed bonds - professional bonds - and it was okay to work in that kind of environment. Nonetheless with Clarke, Lexa knew it was something more.

She couldn’t stop it. She couldn't keep hiding from it or denying that what she felt was more than a crush, much more than simple physical attraction for the musician.

It was scary.

It was messy.

It was a distraction, and distractions get people killed.

And Lexa was afraid for the first time in her life of a feeling she couldn’t control or escape.

 

Lexa closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. She meant what she said to Clarke last night. Lexa could see _her_. How could she not? She noticed every gesture, every smile, when Clarke was nervous or when she was angry. How Clarke bit her lower lip when she was composing in her moleskine, or how she got all grumpy when Raven and Octavia teased her to no end.

Their conversation last night had been like an epiphany. Lexa spoke about what happened with Gustus after endlessly hiding that information from anyone who wasn’t Anya or Becca. Allowing someone to know this painful piece of information that haunted her every night was personal and intimate, and gosh, she was already crossing so many lines with Clarke.

Spending all this time with Clarke was not just opening a door into Clarke’s world but into her own. Without realizing it, Lexa let Clarke slip inside her veins, and she began conquering her until she reached her heart. Clarke carried herself with determination, with confidence and with an inner strength that Clarke probably didn’t know she possessed. A quality that Lexa respected and found attractive. Clarke could stand her ground in those nasty interviews where the reporters always attacked her weak points, yet she showed them always who was the boss.

Indeed.

It was inevitable.

 

///

 

“Lex, why the hell are you waiting to get ready? Clarke and her entourage are leaving for the bar in 10!” Anya said in front of the bathroom mirror while she fixed her tie. Anya was checking herself out over and over as if she was the guest of the party. Putting a lot of effort into her makeup and general looks, removing any particle of dust from her charcoal suit.

“I know, I just need to put on my tie and suit jacket. Don’t be so dramatic.” Lexa said from the bed as she stashed her weapon inside the holster and picked up her dagger, attaching it to her belt. Her hangover was already better. After she woke up this morning from perhaps the worst nightmare she had ever experienced, Lexa was determined to move on from these feelings she had for Clarke. She wasn’t going to let anything distract her from her job.

“Raven told me Costia is going, too.” Anya walked outside the bathroom and sat on her bed to put on her Oxford shoes.

“So?”

“Really? Lexa come on, Costia has the hots for you. Now is your chance to do something about it.”

“Anya, you know that we don’t have time.”

“At least ask for her number, you moron. Once we’re done with this assignment you can go full speed ahead with Costia. The chick is nice and very pretty. This is your opportunity to stop pining for our dear bratty Clarke.” Anya checked herself one more time in front of the mirror and put on her earpiece.

Anya turned around and checked on her partner who remained quiet.

“Oh shit. Don’t tell me that you’re a pup in love.”

“Shut it, Anya!” Lexa gulped down her nerves. ”I’m not pining nor in love. I know what our duty is here and that’s what I’m focusing on.”

Lexa grabbed her green tie and black suit jacket before walking to escort Clarke to the party at the bar.  The next phase of the tour was one more concert before taking a break to escort Clarke to the recording studios in LA.

 

Anya and Lexa arrived at Clarke’s suite.

One knock on the door and Raven opened to greet the two women. Lincoln was already sweeping the bar as instructed to make sure there was no danger to the artist.

Raven whistled checking Anya from head to toe as she stepped back to open the door wider. “Well fuck me. You two look damn hot tonight ladies.”

Anya chuckled lightly, but her eyes were scoping out Raven as well. “Much appreciated. We’re here for Ms. Griffin.”

“Right. Clarke! Your security is here. Let’s go!” Raven called hoping that Clarke would hurry up.

“I heard you Reyes, one second.” Clarke said from inside her bedroom.  
“Hope you have time to take a shot with me.” Raven said to Anya.

Anya curved her lips and her cheeks flushed slightly. “I’d love to but I’m on duty.”

“Such a shame,” Raven purred, her brown eyes locked with Anya’s hazel ones.

“Hey, sorry for the delay. I’m ready now.” Clarke walked out and her blue eyes immediately went to Lexa’s. The blonde seemed worried by the slight crease of her brows, and Lexa felt vulnerable.

Lexa removed her gaze and moved to the back position letting Anya take the lead of the escorting protocol. She hated that Clarke was worrying for her when it was supposed to be the other way around.

“Okay, let’s get going.” Anya informed before the group began their walk to the hotel bar where their friends were going to meet them.

 

As soon as the group entered the bar, they caught the attention of the regular patrons. Lexa immediately got closer to Clarke and Raven making sure that no one was going to interrupt them as they moved to the special area set apart to keep outsiders as far from their client as possible.

Once Clarke was in the private area, the bodyguards positioned themselves in the back of the room to remain in the shadows as the band members and friends greeted each other. Lincoln remained at the front of the security line to stop any unwanted presence in the private area.

 

The music was loud and the chatter of the musician’s friends was filled with excitement and laughter. Beverages were immediately sent to their table, and everyone’s moods lightened up.

Raven and Octavia were already in some kind of shots competition to Anya’s amusement, and Lexa kept her eyes fixed on the people coming inside the bar.

A minute later Costia arrived.  Lincoln performed a quick check to ensure there was no filming equipment and allowed her to join the group’s table. One never could be too careful.

_“Alright, Lex. Now’s your big chance. Linc and I got you covered. Isn’t that right Linc?”_

_“Roger that. We got your back Commander.”_

Lexa rolled her eyes, glaring at Anya who smiled at her and returned her focus to the rest of the bar.

 

///

 

“Oh my God!” Raven hit the table spilling several shot glasses. “That’s fucking cheating!”

“Don’t blame the player, Reyes. Hate the game.” Octavia smiled extending her hand. Raven pulled out from her pocket a 20$ bill and handed it to the shorter dark-haired girl.

Clarke snorted and drank her shot before getting a refill. “Let’s play drink or dare then. Since Raven is a sore loser.”

“Oh fuck off Clarke. My beer glasses were slightly wider than O’s, not fair!” Raven pouted.

“Bring it on, ladies!” Harper immediately readied the table placing the bottle sideways in the middle.

“Okay let’s get it on!” Raven sat on her stool and cracked her fingers. “My revenge is gonna be the sweetest.”

Everyone laughed.

“It’s really fun to see such a laid back group of ladies.” Costia commented. She took a sip of her beer.

“You have not seen anything yet.” Octavia told the TV host.

 

Lexa observed as the group came up with the most ridiculous dares. As the night progressed, the group of women became drunk.  The kind that released all inhibitions and they would probably not remember in the morning. And that’s when the dares started to become raunchy.

“Oh shit! I say truth.” Raven stood up shaking her head side to side. “Hit me with your best shot, O.”

Octavia laughed knowing that it was her turn to take revenge on Raven’s previous dare.

“So? Which of Clarke’s bodyguards makes you come hard at night?”

“OOOOOOOOOH” Harper and Monroe immediately perked her heads up seeing a very flustered Raven. Clarke narrowed her eyes waiting for an answer.

“I ah, what?” Raven laughed nervously.

“Honey. Don’t forget I’m your roommate. I can hear you.”

“DARE!” Raven shouted making everyone laugh but Clarke. “I changed my mind!!!”

Lexa shouldn’t be paying much attention to the girls fooling around, but she couldn’t help it.  She kept checking on Clarke, and her big blue eyes were looking back at her. She held the stare this time though. Her heart was doing flips, and Lexa wished for a moment that she was not the guardian.  And for once be someone else - someone that was free to pursue Clarke -  but Gustus’ voice tethered her to reality.

_(You killed her.)_

“Fine!” Octavia smirked, “I dare you to take a shot from Clarke’s belly!”

“WHAT? Why me?” Clarke complained.

“Cos it’s hot!” Harper shrugged.

“Hurry up Griff. I’m getting payback later bitch!” Raven pointed at a laughing Octavia. The engineer stood up and so did Clarke. Clarke laid down on the table and lifted her shirt. Lexa shouldn’t really be paying attention but sweet jesus, this was too hot.

Raven grabbed the bottle and poured a bit over Clarke’s stomach making her giggle.

“Here I go.” Raven leaned down and her lips were above Clarke’s navel, the amber liquid waiting to be taken. She sucked making a slurping sound and then she licked it slowly making Clarke release a moan. Lexa was a goner.

She turned around abruptly and ignored the rest of the drunken games.

 

“Okay, let’s see if I get my revenge.” Raven rolled the bottle and the bottle stopped at Costia. “Oh crap!”

“Try harder, Reyes.” Octavia raised the glass she was drinking and took a sip.

Raven muttered something, but then focused on Costia with a smirk on her face. “What’s it’s gonna be, Costia?”

Costia thought for a moment before making her choice. “Dare!”

“Woohoo!” Raven whistled. “Okay, I dare you to ask our commander on a date.”

The sound of glass crashing on the floor called Lexa’s attention to the table.

“Uh sorry, my hand is slippery.” Clarke apologized quickly after her glass fell accidentally on the floor.

“Watch out with the glass, Clarke.” Octavia helped Clarke to change her chair.

“The commander?” Costia asked and Raven’s grin widened.

“Yup, our dear friend Lexa. I dare you to ask her on a date.” Raven winked at the clearly embarrassed TV host. “Unless you’re chickening out already, Ms. Del Bosque.”

“Not at all.” Costia lifted herself from her stool and moved towards Lexa who was now in the spotlight.

 

“Hey you.” Costia smiled.

“Hi Costia. Look there’s no need to put yourself through these dumb games.”

“But I want to.” Costia replied, her eyes looking at the floor shyly. “I mean, ask you on a date.”  
Lexa frowned and looked at Anya for help, but her friend was giving her a thumbs up giggling.

“I uuh, Costia I-”

Costia shook her head. “Unless you’re not a daughter of Sappho as I thought.”  
“Oh! I uh, yeah, I am.” Lexa rubbed her neck with certain anxiousness. “I just, well, I have a job to do here Costia, and I have no time for personal matters. I don’t know what to say.” Lexa was flabbergasted.

“Just say yes.” Costia pleaded.

Lexa gazed at Clarke, the blonde was ignoring her keeping herself busy with cleaning the table and Lexa sighed. She couldn’t deny herself this opportunity. Maybe, this is exactly what she needed. To distract herself and enjoy the company of a pretty wonderful girl. Maybe she couldn’t fight the inevitable, but she could delay it.

“Okay, yes.”

“Yay!” Costia raised her fist in victory. “Later works for you, right?”

“Yes. I think so.”

“Okay here, can I have your number?”

Lexa pulled out her cellphone and exchanged numbers with Costia.

“See you later then.” At that Costia leaned in and kissed Lexa’s cheek before returning to the girls.

 

 _“Woohoo! There ya go squid. You scored yourself a date!”_ Anya said through the earpiece.

“Anya, don’t start.” Lexa grumbled.

“ _Don’t worry. I’ll make myself busy so you get the room to yourself for a while longer._ ”

“Anya, that’s not what this is, okay?” Lexa rested her hands inside her slack pockets noticing that Clarke was eerily quiet now, even when her friends were still drunk and happy.

_“Just enjoy it, Lexa. After this you are free and if Clarke needs us - which I doubt - Linc and I can take care of her. Have fun with Costia.”_

“Fine. Thanks, An.”

 

///

 

The bar party didn’t last much longer, and they escorted Raven, Octavia and Clarke back to Clarke’s room.  They wanted to talk and watch movies. Lexa and Anya bid their farewells but Clarke simply ignored them and shut the door just as fast.

Lexa and Anya returned to their room. Lexa removed her clothes and went to shower and dress in more comfortable clothes.

Lexa came out after her brief shower and put on jeans and a flannel shirt. She checked herself in the mirror and met her friend.

“Looking good squid. I’m going out with Lincoln but will check back on Clarke later to see if she needs something else.”

“Alright, that’s great.”

Anya rested her hand on the brunette's shoulder. “Costia is a nice woman. Be confident and don’t worry about anything else, okay?”

“Okay.”

With that, Anya departed leaving Lexa alone. She took a deep breath, and checked herself in the mirror once again to fix her makeup. Once Lexa was satisfied, she grabbed her card key and walked to the hotel’s restaurant to meet Costia.

 

As expected, Costia was already sitting at a small table. Lexa greeted her as she joined her.

“Thanks for accepting, Lexa. I uh, I really appreciate it.” Costia entangled her hands over the table to keep herself busy.

“Thanks for inviting me.” Lexa said a bit nervous.

It has been a long time since she was on a date. Her job kept her busy most of the time and her flirt game was completely off, which made her act like a complete fool most of the time. However, Costia was different. Besides being a gorgeous woman, she seemed to get Lexa.

“I want to clarify that this is not because of that dare, Lexa. I ah, I really like you. Since I first met you.”

“You do? Why?” Lexa was confused.

Costia laughed softly, it was a nice laughter. Not as explosive like Clarke’s but still a nice sound to hear.

“Why you ask?” Costia grinned. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror, Ms. Woods? You’re beautiful and not just in the physical sense. You’re smart and so noble. I like that you are modest and also protective of the people you care about.”

Lexa blushed profusely. She wasn’t used to those kinds of compliments. “Thanks. You’re gorgeous too. Like, very much.” She chuckled. “This is kind of surreal.”

“Well, it is now a reality. Now what would you like to order?” Costia asked.

Lexa felt more at ease now, her nerves subsiding enough to allow herself to stop thinking about Clarke and enjoy this night.

“Let’s see…”

 

After having dinner the two women returned to Lexa’s room. Costia walked Lexa like a gentlewoman to say goodbye to her date.

Lexa had to admit that Costia was great company. She was funny, and very sweet. They talked about their respective jobs and shared stories that were interesting, getting to know each other in some way.

They stopped walking once they reached Lexa’s room, Lexa swiped her card and unlocked her door before turning again to meet Costia.

Her brown eyes were shining. Lexa liked the way that little dimple appeared on the corner of her lips when she smiled. Costia was maybe what she needed. A lifesaver.

“I had a lot of fun.” Lexa said.

“Yeah, I did too.” Costia replied waiting.

_Waiting for what?_

_Oh!_

Lexa’s belly was buzzing with anticipation, the beers she took making her feel light-headed already and giving her some needed courage to do what she needed to do.

Lexa took a step and leaned in, she intended to kiss Costia’s cheek but right before she did she stopped and changed the angle and claimed Costia’s fuller lips.

It was a short chaste kiss. Lexa pulled apart and met Costia’s dark blown eyes.

“Wow.” Costia said between giggles. “That was nice.”

Lexa replied with a smile of her own. “Yeah.”

Maybe this is exactly what she was supposed to be doing. Pining for someone who she couldn’t love was a waste of time, maybe this was life’s way to tell her this is what you get. In what world did the chick get the girl of her dreams? Sadly, not even in movies or TV the girl ended up with her female love interest but the dude, much less real life. Clarke had better suitors, starting with Niylah and her successful export business. Lexa as a bodyguard couldn’t compete ever with that kind of acquisitive power.

Lexa had only one job and that was to keep Clarke safe. After that? She would move on into the next job to never see Clarke again.

 

Lexa rested her hand behind Costia’s neck and pulled her closer to kiss her deeply. The two entangled in the arms of the other.

Costia’s lips were soft and had this sweet cherry flavor, it wasn’t bad at all. It felt good. Not a mind blowing proportion kiss, but this was okay. Lexa could get used to this.

Lexa moved them inside her room shutting the door and locking it blindly as she kissed her date moving sloppily and eagerly into her bed.

 

///

 

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

Slowly, Lexa opened her eyes thanks to the noise of the door. She blinked several times and checked the watch over the night table. It was exactly 3:07am and for some reason, that felt like an omen to Lexa, making her shiver.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Lexa felt a warm body behind her own. An arm draped around her waist.

_Costia._

Lexa remembered that they spent the night together. She tried to move slowly trying not to bother her date but with the insistent knocking; obviously, that wasn’t going to work.

“Hey you.” Costia smiled sleepily.

“Hey.” Lexa turned around. “Sorry for waking you. Gotta check the door. I think it might be Anya.”

“Ah, sure.” Costia leaned in to peck Lexa’s lips before the brunette rolled off the bed. Lexa scurried to her bag and grabbed the first pair of sweatpants and an undershirt and put it on before walking to the door.

“Anya, I thought you were staying away.” Lexa wiped the sleepiness from her face before she reached for the doorknob and opened it wide to allow her friend to come inside. “Where’s your card key!”

 

It wasn’t Anya.

_Fuck._

“Clarke…”

Clarke looked exhausted, eyeliner all wiped on her eyes and cheeks, disheveled blonde locks and slightly red eyes.

“Hi Lexa, I was hoping to...” Clarke’s eyes moved curiously behind the sleepy figure of Lexa noticing the bundle in the sheets and that’s when she saw Costia pretty much naked in Lexa’s bed. “Oh, Costia. Shit. I uh, I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. Sorry.” Clarke turned around and bolted as fast as she could.

“Clarke! Wait!” Lexa shouted and tried to follow but the blonde took off mid jog and sped off to the lifts leaving the brunette behind. Lexa gave up chasing Clarke and returned to her room.

Lexa shut the door extremely confused not understanding why Clarke was knocking at this hour looking slightly drunk and very lost. _Where was Anya?_

She was very conflicted at the moment, so instead she returned to bed. She sat on the edge and looked at her hands. Hands that were roaming hours ago over the body of someone else. Lexa suddenly felt ashamed.

“Lexa? Everything okay?” Costia scooted closer to Lexa and rested her chin over her shoulder. Her arms snaking around the torso of the bodyguard.

“I have to find Clarke. To make sure she’s okay.” Lexa answered robotically.

“Okay.” Costia simply stated. “I better get going then.”

Lexa turned around feeling guilty. “You don’t have to leave, Costia. It’s still early you should wait til morning.”

 

Costia moved off the bed and began looking for her clothes thrown haphazardly around the small room. “Don’t worry, Lexa. You need to make sure Clarke is safe.”

Lexa curved her lips embarrassed. “Yes. Thanks and uh, sorry again.”

“I get it. You love her.”

Lexa widened her eyes and stared at Costia like a deer caught under the lights.

Costia chuckled. “It’s okay, Lexa. I knew what I was getting into with you. I saw the videos you know?”

Lexa put on her running shoes before returning her attention to Costia. “The videos?”

“The unedited footage from my show. I was checking them, of course I paid more attention to you cos like I told you earlier I really like you. However, what I found interesting was how you looked at Clarke.” Costia made a pause to put on her bra and blouse. “Whenever she was practicing on stage or simply being with her friends or around fans. You looked at her like she was the center of your universe. The Sun to your Moon. You’re in love with her.”

“I’m-” Lexa sighed because what was the point denying it, she couldn’t lie to Costia, that would be unfair. “Yes.”

“I hoped that maybe it wouldn’t be this deep, just an infatuation with a celebrity, but I can see I was wrong. You do love her.”

“I’m sorry Costia. This between us, I swear I wanted it to work. I do like you but-”

“But not as a lover. I understand, but hey, I do hope we can remain friends, Lexa.”

“I’d love that too.” Lexa was honest, she liked Costia and being friends with her could be good for her. Someone else besides Anya who got her back.

“Does Clarke know about your feelings?”

“No.” Lexa lowered her head, shutting her eyes for a second trying to mute the memories of her nightmare. “Nothing can happen between us, Costia. I’m her Moon and she’s my Earth. I orbit around her but I’ll never be able to reach her.”

“I see. Not gonna deny that gives me some hope but I know you’re in pain because of it so I’ll stay put. Whenever you’re ready to move on I’ll be here waiting.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I mean, you’re fantastic and I had a good time. Maybe when I move past this um… situation, I can try to see where this takes us.” Lexa giggled with less remorse than what she was feeling before. Costia was a really an amazing person and she was blessed to meet someone like her.

“I’ll be back in a second to escort you out, wait for me please.” Lexa said and ran to check on Clarke right away.

 

///

 

After failing to see Clarke because she wouldn’t open her door and Lexa didn’t feel like it was the proper time to use her emergency card she let it go for now. But she was going to speak with Clarke as soon as she could later in the day to find out what happened and why she was upset.

She returned for Costia and escorted her to the lobby as promised while the valet got Costia’s car back.

“I had fun tonight. Really Lexa, call me or text me anytime. I’m going to miss you.” Costia hugged Lexa.

Lexa reciprocated and took a step back to let her go. “I will.”

“I do really hope things work somehow with Clarke though. I mean it.” Costia was truly a fine woman. Maybe if she managed to erase what she felt for Clarke, Costia could be the perfect option for her.

“Thank you Costia. I wish you all the best.”

“Good luck with the rest of the tour and take care.” Costia kissed Lexa’s cheek and walked to the entrance to get in her car.

Lexa shoved her hands inside her pockets and watched as Costia drove safely away.

With a heavy heart she returned to her bedroom and tried to sleep, in the end she dreamt of Clarke again.

It was inevitable.


	9. Chapter 9

Immediately after arriving in LA, Clarke recorded a TV interview and made a brief appearance on a talk show before finally going to her vacation home.  She missed this place, a place that was truly hers and not a hotel.  But a place where she was going to be staying with her security team, including Lexa, while focusing on recording and other promotional activities for the next 6 weeks before resuming the tour. Luckily, it had been a very intense couple of days that kept Clarke very busy - busy enough to avoid a one-on-one chat with her head of security.

Clarke couldn’t face Lexa. Clarke felt angry which she knew was actually very dumb, but she couldn’t help it. Since she found Costia butt-naked in Lexa’s bed, Clarke felt hollow inside. She should be happy for Lexa, whom she considered part of her tour family; instead, Clarke was hurting. The pain was excruciating, so much more than when her relationship with Finn went downhill. Just the thought of Lexa and Costia together - loving each other - made her feel a bitterness in the deepest part of her soul.

Maybe it was due to her constant loneliness that she felt like this. Lexa had been nothing but an amazing support filling that void, yet Lexa wasn’t hers.

Lexa was temporary.

Lexa was going to leave.

 

“Welcome to my beach house.” Clarke opened the door to her place allowing her security team inside. “The master bedroom is upstairs, along with one guest room. The other guest rooms are on this floor with two smaller beds in each. You may choose whichever you like.” Clarke said while she dropped her smallest suitcase at the corner of the foyer as she entered.

The sun completely filled the living room area.  You could see the open kitchen and private ocean view balcony. The stairs leading to the upper floor were on the opposite side of the room. The white walls reflected the warm sunlight and the sound of the ocean could be heard from where they were. It was a place for Clarke whenever she wanted to change the coldness of her home to the warmth of the west coast.

“Thank you, Ms. Griffin. We’ll distribute accordingly.” Anya said.

“Raven should be here tomorrow with Bellamy. In the meantime make yourself comfortable.” Clarke smiled politely to the three bodyguards and was quick to move to the stairs that led her to her room.

“Ms. Griffin, may I help you with your luggage?” Lexa offered, but Clarke quickly rejected the help.

“No, thanks. Bell can do that tomorrow. You go and set up your office, Ms. Woods.”

Lexa’s jaw slacked the slightest by Clarke’s unusual reaction of not using her name. However, she just nodded and walked outside to gather the security team’s luggage.

 

The blonde walked to her bedroom and was glad everything was clean and in order before her arrival, probably thanks to Marcus. The master suite had a private ocean-front terrace, two seating areas, with a walk-in closet and safe. Cream colored walls offered brightness inside the bedroom and the windows and area outside allowed lots of natural light whenever Clarke wanted to sunbathe on her terrace or simply sit down and try to write. She spent several vacations here with her mom since she found this place years ago. She wanted something comfortable and private enough for her to be able to decompress and to change the scenery from home once in awhile.

She dropped the blinds before changing into a large tee, she didn’t even bother with pants and dropped into her king-sized bed completely exhausted. She moved her arm over her eyes covering the filtering sunlight to try to rest. But of course, she was still reeling from the thoughts of her bodyguard and her new sexy, gorgeous, girlfriend Anacostia Del Bosque.

She rolled off the bed and grabbed her backpack to take out her moleskin. She had at least 7 songs already written ready to be recorded. The band along with Marcus, Raven and the new producer had been working on the music before she arrived today so everything would be ready to start recording the vocals in a later session.

These songs were inspired by a newfound sense of bravery and loyalty, songs that spoke about falling in love, finding hope in a dim world, songs that made her smile more often than not. Songs that told a story that was still being written.

Clarke still had a lot to write but for now these songs were a balm to her empty soul.

 

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

Clarke ignored the knock on the door and tried to focus on her writing.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

The insistent knocking wasn’t going to stop anytime soon by the looks of it. Clarke left her songbook on the table and went to open the door.

Of course it had to be Lexa. Standing always tall and proud, looking regal with her perfect posture; Lexa had such a magnetic presence that attempting to ignore her was futile. Lexa’s delicious vanilla scent immediately hit her nostrils, and Clarke had to remind herself to speak and not get lost in her inner thoughts. “Yeah?”

“Ms. Griffin. Sorry to interrupt your rest. I was hoping I could speak with you.”

There was no escape. It was an impossible task when they had to work so close to each other. Still she had to try.

“Umm, tomorrow Ms. Woods. I’m working on my songs right now.” Clarke was going to shut the door, but Lexa held the door open.

“Please? I won’t take long.” Lexa pleaded, her green eyes locked onto Clarke, and they had a soft greyish green color. Lexa’s softened gaze made Clarke’s legs feel like jelly.

“Very well, Ms. Woods. Come inside.” The blonde relented taking a step back and opened the door wider.

Lexa walked inside the bedroom with certain hesitance, and Clarke retreated to her desk again where she sat to listen to the broody brunette. The formality between them caused the conversation to already feel too strained. Clarke hated this.

 

“Ms. Griffin, I was-” Lexa choked and cleared her throat; “I aah, I- I was wondering if everything is um, alright?” Lexa stuttered before composing herself, however, the slight pink of her cheeks was very noticeable.

Clarke frowned at first, wondering why the usual stoic bodyguard was being way awkward with her.

“Umm, sure. All is good.” Clarke replied before she crossed her legs on the chair. That’s when she realized she was pantless. Even though the large shirt she wore covered half of her butt, Lexa could clearly see her underwear. It wasn’t the first time this had happened as she remembered vividly the first time she met Lexa outside of her apartment. Clarke was embarrassed, but she wouldn’t show it to Lexa. “I kinda feel at ease as soon as I get here. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Clarke stood up and found her jeans on the floor, she started to put them on.

Lexa removed her gaze out of respect. “No, it didn’t bother me. I mean, it did but not in a weird way. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before anyway.” Lexa shrugged until she realized what she just said, her back became tense right away.

Clarke quirked her brow as she finished buttoning her pants and returned to her chair, a small cheeky smile displayed on her face.

Lexa was flustered now, and Clarke thought that was the Lexa she would like to see more often, not this empty vessel she had for a bodyguard.

“As in not in a bad way. You have a nice bottom… err- I mean that you don’t have to be ashamed or anything, Ms. Griffin.”

Clarke chuckled. “Thank you for pointing that out, Ms. Woods. Anyway, what is it?”

 

After a pause Lexa asked raking her fingers through her wavy chestnut hair, trying to keep her hands busy. “Are _we_ okay?” Lexa walked a little closer to where Clarke was sitting. She dug her hands inside her trouser pockets. The frown in between her brows were the familiar sign of the bodyguard’s concern, and Clarke knew just how worried Lexa must have been these past days since she started to push her away.

“After New York you started to act a bit off. Being evasive, less talkative, ignoring me...”

“I was busy, still am. There's nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing? When you went into my room at an ungodly hour back in New York you didn’t seem okay. You were upset. If Niylah did anything to hurt you I’ll deal with her but I need to-”

“Niylah?” Clarke interrupted. “What? No, I uh, I was drunk and ehm, I wanted to go to Octavia and Raven’s room. I got confused and knocked your door instead. Sorry for ruining your date.” Clarke said the first thing that came to her mind. Avoiding looking Lexa in the eyes just in case Lexa could see the lie.

Clarke couldn’t sleep after her friends left that night. Instead she sat to watch an anime movie which was ended on a sad note. The separation and lack of communication between the main couple made Clarke seek in her drunkenness Lexa; she needed to see the brunette to reassure herself that Lexa was still with them. She found way more than what she was looking for.

 

“You didn’t ruin anything, Clarke. Your safety always comes first.” Lexa was quick to explain.

“Really? Cos I believe it was _you_ who came _first_ that night.”

Lexa raised her brows up to her hairline. The sudden angry outburst surprising her.

Clarke was getting carried away with her own frustrations. She needed to reel in the anger. “Sorry. That was way out of line.” She said looking apologetically at Lexa who was becoming more confused, and, was that hurt in her eyes?

“Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong? I thought you trusted me. You’re the one who’s pushing me away now, Clarke.”

Clarke huffed rolling her eyes and stood up from her chair to meet Lexa face to face. “And now you Clarke me? You’re the one who told me we couldn’t even be friends to begin with, Lexa. I’m doing _exactly_ what you wanted.”

Lexa swallowed, her face was impassive yet Clarke recognized by now those small things Lexa did when she is stressed or angry, like the little twitch of her jaw. As if Lexa was having an inner fight with her head to come up with the right words to say. “I… yes,” Lexa’s throat bobbed up and down before speaking again. “I asked us to be professional Clarke, but this?” She pointed between them, “it’s affecting everyone around us because we’re not communicating like we should.”

“Look, I’m tired and I get now that I put you in a difficult position. I understand that we cannot be friends as I hoped we could be. I have my career and you have yours so no worries on my side, Ms. Woods. I won’t fuck your job and mess it up with my stupid behavior anymore. Whenever I need to communicate something that entails your team I will. Now you may go back to calling Costia and stop being distracted with me!”

“Costia? She’s not-”

“Just leave!”

 

Lexa seemed aghast, even slightly hurt by Clarke’s words. Because of the sour mood and high tension between the two of them, she accepted that Clarke was finished with this conversation. Lexa walked to the door and before she left she eyed Clarke one more time hoping to say something that could defuse this situation, yet she turned around and shut the door on her way out. By the tense silence in the house, Lincoln and Anya probably heard a bit of their heated discussion.

Lexa was right, she was affecting the whole group dynamic again.

 

“Shit!” Clarke buried her face in her hands out of frustration. This was a disaster. Not even a couple of days ago they managed to get close and reconnect, now they argued and treated each other with a coldness that felt foreign for them both.

However, Clarke couldn’t help but feel like a storm called Lexa was ravaging her insides, tearing her apart piece by piece.

_But why?_

That was the big question that Clarke didn’t intend to answer anytime soon. Clarke wasn’t going to open that can of worms. She wasn’t ready.

Not yet.

 

///

 

It was so warm, comfortable and safe. Skin against skin, the smell of perspiration and sex permeated the air. A soothing voice told Clarke that there was nothing to worry about. That she was okay. Clarke felt lean, strong arms encasing her, and she pressed herself closer to this soothing presence. Again that familiar scent surrounded her - the soft smell of flowers and that characteristic combination of vanilla and coffee - made her sigh in relief.

_“Don’t leave me.”_

_“I won’t.”_

Clarke frowned because how could they be so sure? _“But, you’re with her…”_

_“I’ll always be with you.”_

_“Liar.”_

The strong, commanding voice laughed and it was such a refreshing sound, Clarke laughed too.

_“I’m serious. In every life I’ll always choose you, but would you choose me, Clarke?”_

Clarke pulled away confused. Clarke really thought she did but why she felt this sudden uneasiness? It started to become cold.

“Yooo Clarke!?”

The ground was shaking and Clarke was running, escaping from the destruction falling upon her. She couldn’t breathe.

“Clarke?”

The soothing presence was gone.

She was abandoned and left behind.

 

She snapped her eyes open and found herself in bed with Raven on her side rubbing her back.

“Hey sleepy head. I was knocking on the door but you were practically drooling over the pillow dreaming something disturbing when I came to check on you.” Raven gave her a soft pat on her shoulder.

“Shit, Raven. You scared me.” Clarke rubbed her face trying to wake herself up.

“Sorry, Clarke. I know my pretty face isn’t want you wanna see in the mornings, but Lexa said no when I asked her to wake you up. She seems in a bad mood today. Maybe had a fight with Costia.”

Clarke wiped her eyes with the heel of her palms. She felt like she had been carrying a ton of bricks on her back. This situation with Lexa was draining her more than she could have imagined. “Raven, shut up. Why do you like to stir shit up so early in the mornings?”

Raven chuckled and stood up from the bed heading into the door. “Because it seems that’s the only way to get your ass outta bed and come to eat.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be down in a sec.”

“Will set the plates but hurry up before Kane starts calling Bell to drag your butt to the studio.”

 

Clarke moved to her restroom and took a brief cold shower, trying to remove the remnants of her dreams and very inappropriate sexual thoughts because she could now recognize that person in her bed.

No, she wasn’t going to go there.

After a reinvigorating shower Clarke changed into ripped jeans and a black ACDC tee, she put on a light jeans jacket and her converse before heading into the open kitchen downstairs.

“Good morning.” Clarke greeted everyone gathered around ready to begin her work.

“Hey Princess, good to see you awake. I called earlier, but you were out like a lamp.” Bellamy grinned before continuing setting up the table while Raven worked in the kitchen.

“I needed to rest but now I’m good to begin the day.” Clarke fixed her hair with her fingers, tying it in a messy bun on the top of her head.

“How many pancakes, Griff?”

“Just two, thanks Rae.” Clarke pulled a chair and sat beside Bellamy.

Lexa was heading into the kitchen helping Raven with the cutlery when she stopped to greet Clarke.

“Morning, Ms. Griffin.”

“Ms. Woods.” Clarke answered dryly, not even looking the brunette in the eye.

 

Raven noticed the tense interaction between the two women but didn’t give it much attention.

“Alright we got for Bell scrambled eggs and bacon; for Clarke pancakes and bacon; for my two women in black lots of protein pancakes and for our big teddy bear Linc, protein shake with scrambled eggs on the side.” Raven put everything on the table along with the pancake syrup for everyone to use.

Nonetheless, Lexa stood up and went into the newly packed fridge and returned with the maple syrup and left it right in front of Clarke’s dish along with the whip cream can.

Clarke took the maple syrup and spread it over her pancakes and added a bit of whip cream on top of them.

Raven was about to joke how domestic that was but again preferred to not say anything seeing how Clarke was doing everything in her power not to acknowledge the head of security’s hopeful gaze. Raven knew something was definitely wrong with them since they had been like this for several days now.

“Bon appetite!” Anya was the first to dive into her food ignoring everything around her but her meal, bringing Raven’s attention from the blonde and brunette to the asian instead.

Clarke kept the conversation casual at the table, focused mostly on work; but with her peripheral vision she noticed that Lexa was barely touching her food. She couldn’t help but worry.

 

“Clarke, today you’re going to the studio to record your single. This week and the next one are basically album work.”

“Great. What else?” Clarke took a sip of her orange juice.

“There’s also a photoshoot and you have a red carpet event, a new video filming and more interviews. Bryan will be here to try some designer dresses that were sent to you for the red carpet event. There are way more details, but I’ll send everything once I got all the deets.” Bellamy checked his tablet reading his emails to confirm the latest information.

“There must be time for us to go hang out at a club, Bell. For fuck’s sake, Clarke has barely time to breathe.” Raven drank from her steamy cup of coffee, her brown eyes focusing on her best friend’s erratic behavior.

“Raven, Clarke is going to be very busy. Now is not the time to go clubbin.” Bellamy scolded.

“Bell, don’t be a party pooper. Clarke now has more time to relax before heading back touring. The woman needs some time off.” Raven insisted, thinking that was what could be affecting Clarke’s behavior not to mention the pressure to make this recording a success.

“Don’t worry, wherever Ms. Griffin goes we’ll be right there. Just let us know.” Lincoln finished his shake before going for his breakfast.

“See? It’s cool, Bell.” Raven grinned smugly.

Bellamy defeated raised his hands. “Whatever, just make sure to avoid calling too much attention to yourselves.”

“Yeah, thanks dad!” Clarke rolled her eyes and stood up to leave her dish in the washer.

After that Clarke brushed her teeth before grabbing her backpack with her songbook, ready to depart for the studio and begin recording her new single.

 

Clarke met the three bodyguards and Bellamy at the front door.

“I’m ready.”

“I was sharing the location of the studio with your security team before you arrived. They will be with you at all times. The press will be hunting you so don’t do anything stupid, will you?”

“Fuck off, Bellamy. Seriously, the assistant manager position is getting high in your head.”

“Easy, Clarke. What’s up with your acrid mood today huh?” Raven cocked her brow.

Clarke jerked her shoulders.

“We’re ready to depart, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa announced.

“We’ll be using only one SUV in LA. One of us will have to ride with you in the back seat.” Anya said as she held the door open for their client.

“Oh okay. Now what I need is a big ass cup of coffee before we go to the studio Linc.”

Lincoln laughed as he started the engine of the black SUV. “Right away, Ms. Griffin. Hop in then. Car is ready.”

“Okay, let’s go Clarke.” Raven moved to the back of the car and jumped in.

“Alright Anya, you’ll be with us since Raven has a preference for tall, broody and hot.” Clarke joked making Raven blush.

“I’ve never said that, cheekbones.” Raven was quick to clarify. “I prefer shorter, mysterious and sexy.” Raven winked at Lexa that was moving to the front seat, which earned her a death glare from Clarke in return.

“Raven, please.”

Anya smirked and leaned on the car. “Lexa mysterious? I doubt that, if by the amount of intrusions we have gotten in our general database from an IP that we traced to the computer of a Raven del Carmen Reyes. I think you got your bases covered.”

Raven paled when she heard that. “I ah, um, err- ah what? I know nothing about that grounder princess. You must be confused. You got the wrong Raven.”

Anya laughed, her smile from ear to ear.

“Enough chit chat, let’s get moving Anya.” Lexa ordered, ending the friendly banter between Anya and Raven.

“Yes, commander. We’re all set Linc.” Anya sat beside Clarke and Lincoln put the SUV into gear to drive to the recording studio.

 

///

 

The ride was chatty thanks to Raven who made jokes every minute trying to lighten up the extreme tension that could be felt between the singer and Lexa. The ones who enjoyed those jokes were Anya and Lincoln mostly.

They arrived at the recording studio 40 minutes later after making a mandatory stop at a coffee shop and then dealing with some fans who took some pictures with Clarke, to Lexa’s chagrin who told her they didn’t have the time. Of course, Clarke being Clarke ignored Lexa’s request and signed everything she was handled and posed with her fans.

 

Once they arrived Anya and Lexa escorted Clarke and Raven inside the studio where Marcus was waiting for them with excitement.

”You’re finally here!” Marcus smiled and hugged Clarke. “Are you ready?”

“Yup, more than ready.”

“Okay, ladies. Follow me.”

Marcus guided them to the back area where the recording room was located.

“Lexa and Anya, you’ll remain here. No one enters or leaves this room without a check. We got to prevent leaking this material. We can never be too careful.”

“No problem sir. Consider it done.” Anya said.

“We’ll be here for whatever else you need, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa commented trying to garner Clarke’s attention to no avail.

Clarke turned around and disappeared behind the door without even acknowledging Lexa. Anya frowned and so did Raven, they shared a confused look before the sound engineer followed the musician to begin working.

 

As soon as Clarke entered the recording room she met the producer of this album.

“It’s finally nice meeting the talented Wanheda. I’m John Murphy.”

The man was slim, with brown hair hanging around his ears, his dark blue eyes made a big contrast with his very pale skin. His prominent nose was the most identifying feature though.

“I’m Clarke. Heard good things about you John.”

The producer shrugged. “It’s simply Murphy, and I try to do what makes the artist happy. You got great material here, Clarke. I like your ideas and as per requested by your manager we’ll bring that rock essence out of your music to return to the roots of Wanheda. This album is going to be a success.”

“That’s what we all hope for.”  Marcus added.

“This is our track engineer, Sterling.” Murphy introduced the other man.

“All mic’s are tested and set up.” Sterling said with confidence.

“Alright, let’s get to work.” Raven moved to the mixing consoles. The sound engineer was already feeling at home in the recording studio.

“Okay then.” Murphy immediately moved to the chair besides Raven. “The band already recorded the track so you’ll focus on vocals and later on we’ll record the harmonizing vocals with the rest of the girls. Tomorrow we’ll double the guitars and record the lead guitar as well. I have a couple of suggestions for the bridge of this song that we can discuss with the whole band to try my ideas, and if it’s all good in 2 days we can be done with your single. Then we can focus on recording the rest of the songs throughout the time you’ll be here in LA, but the priority is to launch this single right before you depart to finish the tour. The second part of the album will be recorded once you are done touring.”

“We’ll use the last leg of the tour to promote _Bodyguard of Lies_ and prepare the launch of your new album next year so it has to be perfect!” Marcus told Clarke.

“Got it.”

 

Clarke moved to the live room, where many microphones hung from the ceiling, each one had a pop filter. She put on the headphones and waited for Murphy to give her the signal through the glass panel dividing the two rooms.

As the track previously recorded by the band began to play through her headphones she took a deep breath and felt a sudden nostalgia, taking her to the time she wrote this song weeks ago with a very sleepy Lexa in her hotel room.

Clarke started to sing but she wasn’t feeling it. This song was supposed to be full of energy, rebellious, and also sexy but the singer was off, not hitting the notes because this thing with Lexa had her feeling so down lately.

“Okay, let’s start again, Clarke. Let’s focus yeah?” Murphy said through his microphone.

“Sorry.” Clarke took a deep breath and shut her eyes trying to gather focus.

The track started again and Clarke began singing. She was better this time but the song was lacking heart.

 

The artist continued trying to record the best version of the song, but she was definitely missing inspiration as she sang by inertia.

Raven began moving the levers and pressed buttons here and there in the console adjusting the sound to make it as clean and optimum as possible.  However, as she started to listen to the lyrics Raven detected how odd Clarke sounded. Her voice was strained. This wasn’t the Clarke she was used to working with in the studio.

“Yoooo, Clarke. Hold it.” Raven stopped the track under the inquisitive look of Murphy who was slightly annoyed already. “Clarke might need a break. She hasn’t stopped working since the tour so let’s take an hour to let her adjust.”

“Fine. One hour but we need to make the most of the studio hours.” Marcus said before grabbing his jacket and walking out of the control room.

“Alright then.” Murphy was the next to empty the control room with Sterling.

Raven walked into the live room and met Clarke.

Clarke sat on the stool and removed the headphones. “Sorry Rae, I know it sucks.”

Raven rested her hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “What’s up with you? You sound like shit.”

Clarke chuckled and with the heel of her palm she wiped her eyes. “Nothing. I uh, I just need to um, find my muse.”

Raven narrowed her eyes sensing that there was more than what Clarke was telling. “You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“This song is the first single. You gotta nail it, Clarke. Can’t waste money on extra hours here.  I get Arkadia is breathing down your neck, but you gotta make the most of it!”

“I fucking know!” Clarke replied with exasperation and sighed knowing well Raven had nothing to do with her current situation. “Sorry. It’s not your fault.”

 

After a pause, Raven continued. “Listen to me Clarke. This album is your baby. You gotta push for it, and no one will do that for you. Whatever is on your mind, put it in the back burner. I promise you I’ll be there for you every step of the way, but right now I need you to stop worrying and give me everything you got.”

“I’ll try Raven. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Raven now smiled. “We’ll find out together. Now let’s take a break and when we come back sing with your heart.”

“Yeah, my heart…” Clarke didn’t have a heart. At least that’s what she always thought but now? Her heart was doing happy dancing whenever Lexa was around. Which was completely strange.

It had to be sexual attraction, nothing more nothing less. Clarke wasn’t going to fall victim of her own stupid needs. She was the one who said to Niylah that she wanted to focus on her fans and stopped sleeping with her. This constant mission of seeking affection had to stop. Clarke didn’t need anyone to fill this emptiness. She just needed to focus in what was truly important:

Her album, said her head.

Lexa, said her heart.

 

///

 

Two days later Clarke had given her everything to record the first single. The musical instruments of the band combined to make an incredible upbeat tune, the vocals were deep and sexy, and everyone was satisfied with their work at the studio. The band had found a rhythm that screamed pure rock. It felt fresher compared to her previous work, and the best was that Clarke had managed to pour not just her heart but her soul in every lyric she wrote to make this song as real as it felt.

Clarke recorded this song with the contents of her heart. (A heart full of Lexa.)

It was much mature with its content, the theme was deep and meaningful. Everything Clarke sang told a story, her story and Lexa’s.

If Raven noticed the similarities of what Clarke sang and her connection with the bodyguard, she didn’t say anything about it.

After long hours of intense work the band decided to gather at Clarke’s beach house to have fun before returning to the studio to continue recording songs.

 

“Alright bitches, time to have some fun!” Octavia jumped excited. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder ready to walk outside the beach house.

“Hey wait for me! I haven’t changed.” Raven pouted seeing that the girls of the band were already changed into their bathing suits while she was still fully clothed.

“You take forever Reyes, the sun is waiting so hurry up!” Octavia said.

“Are you planning to head to the beach?” Lexa asked Clarke.

Clarke had to remove her gaze quickly away from the brunette trying to not obviously stare. Instead of her casual suit, Lexa was wearing red ¾ running leggings and a white muscle t-shirt that allowed Clarke to see the perfect contour of her arms and the beautiful design of her arm tattoo.

“What do you gals say?” The blonde asked her friends deflecting Lexa’s question and letting them answer instead of her. That had been her strategy to avoid talking to the woman for the past days. Always using someone else to speak for her.

“Naaah, I hate sand. It gets in my ass all the time. I like the pool better.” Harper grabbed a couple of towels from the guest restroom before moving to the pool deck.

“We can stay all in the pool.” Monroe lifted the small cooler with beverages and joined her band mate.

 

“Okay that’s good. It will make it easier for us to keep unwanted company away.”  Anya relaxed knowing that they were going to stay in an enclosed area which was going to make it easier for them to secure it all.

Lincoln and Anya were dressed in a similar fashion to Lexa. The three members of the grounders were going to be outside in the scalding sun and wearing suits would be weird and uncomfortable.

“No worries, we won’t head to the beach. We want all to have a good time, and if Clarke puts a foot on that beach, photographers and fans will swarm her in no time.” Octavia told. “See you guys in the backyard.” Octavia smiled at Lincoln before leaving the room to join her bandmates.

“Okay, I’ll go ahead and check the perimeter first.” Lincoln put on his dark sunglasses before walking outside to begin his check.

“I’ll check outside the fence for anyone trying to peek inside.” Anya offered before departing as well.

Lexa was left with Raven and Clarke. The brunette locked eyes with Clarke, hoping that they could have a chance to talk again and maybe try to fix this awkward situation. Clarke wasn’t going to relent easily though.

“Wait outside, Ms. Woods. I gotta return some calls to Marcus before I change. I’ll take longer.”

“As you wish. Excuse me.” Lexa offered a curt nod but not before throwing a last glance to the blonde, leaving Raven and Clarke alone.

 

“Okay Clarke, before we change, you and I need to have a talk.” Raven didn’t even give a chance to Clarke to object. She grabbed her arm and pulled her upstairs to her bedroom. She was already fed up with this situation.

“Woah Raven, what the fuck!?” Clarke protested rubbing her arm.

Raven pushed Clarke inside and shut the door.

“Spill the beans, Griffin. That was the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. You don’t have to call anyone. Bellamy does that.” Raven crossed her arms in front of her chest and eyed Clarke deadly serious. “What’s up with you and Lexa?”

Clarke didn’t answer immediately, instead she exited to her balcony, she rested her hands on the handrail and took several gulps of fresh air. Her lungs felt tight inside her bedroom. She observed the ocean, and how the waves moved softly towards the shore. Next she looked at her friends in the pool already fooling around.

Raven came outside and joined Clarke. “Clarke, talk to me.”

“Raven, nothing is wrong. We’re being professional.”

Like a metal detector pulling metallic objects from the sand, Clarke felt the eyes of Lexa watching her from the pool deck.  She met her gaze as well.

“Cut that nonsense, Clarke. I can smell bullshit from a mile away.” Raven followed Clarke’s gaze and observed her with more detail as the blonde stared at the woman below. “Something is really wrong between you two. You don’t behave like an ass with anyone but her!”

“Raven, you sound crazy.”

 

Raven sighed, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose, the denial was strong in her friend. “Do I? You two have been having this horrible tension. It’s like both of you have a dark cloud over your heads. What happened?”

Clarke returned her focus to the engineer.

“It’s… it’s nothing important.”

Raven scratched her head, this situation was confusing her a lot. Clarke was so vague and evasive with her answers, but Raven was determined to find the truth. “Then I guess I should speak with Lexa herself to-”

“NO!” Clarke panicked and with reason, she didn’t want to involve anyone in her affairs. “Please, leave her out of this.” Clarke had to give her something. Raven could be very insistent when she wanted to. “It’s really nothing. I’m just treating Lexa like she asked, Raven. Lexa says I’m a distraction so I won’t distract her anymore. We’re being professional.”

 

Frowning Raven leaned on the handrail with her back to the pool, her mind was processing the information and trying to fill the blanks in Clarke’s strange story. “A distraction, you say? Lexa has only eyes for you, Clarke. The woman has gone far and beyond her role of protector since she joined us to always ensure you’re okay. What’s got you with your panties in a twist, huh?”

“Why are you worrying so much about Lexa? Is Lexa the one that makes you come at night? Is it her, Raven?” Clarke accused.

“Wooah Clarke calm down, I don’t like Lexa. What Octavia said back in NY… well, it’s not Lexa, okay?” Raven took a deep breath and opened her palms as a sign of trust, lowering her defenses to ease her friend. “I’m confused here. Look, whatever the fuck is going on between you and the commander has nothing to do with me. You two were getting along amazingly and now it’s like day 1 all over again. It’s uncomfortable being in the same room as you two and watch you interact. It’s painful.” Raven sighed massaging her temple, “If you don’t wanna tell me that’s cool. What I do know is that it’s hurting both of you. You’re a sad bean and so is Lexa. Even when I thought Costia was going to cheer up our commander. I guess I got it all wrong cos look at her!” Raven pointed at Lexa. “Stoic, broody, bean!”

Clarke rolled her eyes, just hearing the name of Costia made her blood boil. “Fucking Costia. It’s always fucking, perfect, Costia. Can we not talk about her!?” Clarke swore under her breath.

Raven perked her brows. She observed how quickly Clarke’s mood changed whenever Costia was mentioned. Even when she was teasing Lexa, Clarke tended to get grumpy immediately. “Oh my or I’m about to hit the jackpot or you’re going to throw me off of the balcony if I’m wrong, but I doubt it cos I’m a genius. I know what’s your problem, Clarke.”

“And what would that be, Miss Genius?” Clarke leaned again on the handrail, resting her chin on her palm as she looked below to the girls jumping and playing in the pool.

“You’re jealous.”

 

Clarke turned to face Raven very slowly, that couldn’t be right. “I ah- I’m what?”

“Holy fuck, you are!” Raven smirked, laughing as if she won the lottery. “It all makes sense. I knew you had the hots for Lexa, but I wasn’t sure how deep the attraction was, Clarke.”

“No! I- I worry for Lexa because we don’t really know much about Costia. This crew is family to me Reyes, you know it. I care for Lexa as much as anyone in this staff, and I don’t want her to be hurt. She has suffered so much Raven, you have no idea.”

“No, I don’t because you’re the one that has gotten closer to the commander, not me Griffin. You care about her way more than you actually think. If Lexa says you’re a distraction, doesn't that make you wonder why she thinks that?”

“Because that makes her weak! I’m just a job for her, Raven.”

“Gosh, Griffin you can be so dense sometimes.” Raven began moving to the restroom to change into her bathing suit face-palming frustrated with her oblivious friend. “I’ll let you figure this one out Clarke. Now get changed and let’s sunbath, this deep talk left my majestic brain exhausted.”

 

Clarke took a deep breath, calming the way her heart was beating wildly. Her mind spiraling in a sea of confusion. Lexa was someone special to her, of course she cared for her. Why would Raven even think something like that? And Lexa had been more than clear that she didn’t want to be close to her so what on earth was Raven talking about?

What Clarke was sure of is that this was NOT jealousy. She didn’t even like Lexa like that.

Right?

 

///

 

After crazy days between the studio and more interviews, Clarke was ready to call it a night but before that, she had to listen to her manager recap how tonight’s live interview went and get feedback.

Marcus interminable rant about the positive reviews and how the audience reacted to the single launch date was exhausting.

“Boys, what is the latest info.” Marcus looked at Monty and Jasper that were on their computers gathering data.

“Wanheda trended worldwide for an hour, and all tweets are basically drooling about how good you looked.” Monty scrolled through his feed.

“We are still collecting data from Facebook and Tumblr, but you are in the trending topics. All the info I see is about the new material and pictures that are being released in high definition being quickly shared, some short clips of the interview in gif form are being spread around as well.” Jasper commented whilst typing on his laptop. “The entertainment news outlets are releasing the info about the upcoming album and last tour date, so it’s all good promo so far.”

 

Clarke muted the rest of the voices of the men discussing her latest apparition on TV and looked through her glass doors that led to the pool and backyard of her beach house.

Anya, Lincoln and Lexa were with Raven, Octavia and Harper outside drinking beers now that everyone was off for the rest of the night. In that moment Clarke wished to be there with them instead of here.

Raven laughed and patted Anya’s shoulder. Anya joined Raven in her laughter as everyone else did, except Lexa who drank from her bottle with a serious expression, not paying attention to whatever Raven joked about. A second later, Lexa pulled her phone out and everyone put their attention on Lexa.

Anya was probably teasing the brunette, and Lincoln shoved Lexa’s shoulder playfully.

Clarke bet her ass it was a Costia text and that made her sad. Clarke had Lexa right there, and they couldn’t even talk about the weather. She probably was envious of that connection Lexa and Costia had. Clarke had to accept that she and her bodyguard were never going to be as close.

She didn’t want to be here anymore.

“I’m going to bed, Marcus. It’s been a long night.”

“Oh alright, remember that after you finish recording the other 3 pending songs this upcoming week, we have to go meet the team to film your video for the new single.”

“Alright, good night guys.” Clarke walked through the kitchen and from the pantry she grabbed a bottle of vodka before heading into her bedroom.

 

Clarke put on a sleeping shirt and shorts and walked to her desk turning on the small lamp, she opened her moleskine that contained so many drafts of songs that needed to be perfected before they recorded them. Clarke poured herself some liquor and with it she blocked out everything surrounding her and began to focus on her work until the late hours of the night.

Clarke was writing with so much anger and frustration, the amount of expletives in this song was practically a record. Marcus was going to scratch this song for sure.

Drinking and writing songs were always a bad idea. Usually these songs ended up being an angstfest, just like her messy 3rd album. However, tonight she just needed to release everything that was residing in her heart.

_“I hate that I want you, that I fucking need you;_

_In the end, I cannot forget this pain._

_Is it love or is it hate?_

_I wish I knew,_

_but it hurts like an open wound.”_

Clarke read the last verse again of what she was writing, and she was filled with much pain, the alcohol exacerbating those feelings she had deep down tenfold. Confusion and conflicting emotions running through her head.

In her frustration Clarke swept with her arm across everything on her desk, the almost empty bottle breaking on the floor.

 

“CLARKE!?”

Lexa came inside the room at lightning speed, her body tense and ready for action. Her green eyes already scanning every corner of the room for a possible threat.

Clarke rolled her eyes and chuckled at how extra Lexa had to be. They were the only ones here, besides Anya and Lincoln on the lower floor, yet Lexa came into her room like a goddamn superhero ready to save her pitiful ass. Clarke turned her back on Lexa and kneeled down to begin picking all the things she smashed in her outburst.

“I’m not extra. I’m supposed to react this way when a client is in potential danger.”

_Whoops, I said it out loud._

“Well, there’s no one here. Go back to sleep.”

Yet, Lexa remained inside her bedroom. “Let me take care of this, Ms. Griffin. You might injure yourself.” Lexa was about to lean and reach to aid Clarke when the blonde stood up and turned around, swatting Lexa’s hands away.

“I can deal with it myself!” Clarke didn’t think she was drunk, slightly tipsy yes but not drunk enough to numb how her heart was doing the usual backflips without her consent when Lexa was around.

This was bad.

 

Lexa removed her hands away from Clarke, making sure not to touch her seeing the distress of the blonde who looked like a wild animal ready to pounce her prey. Still, Lexa needed to reach the musician somehow. “Just let me help.”

“I don’t need you, Lexa.”

Lexa remained in place, her lips pursed with maximum stoicism observing Clarke. Watching every nuance of her body.

“You’re angry with me.”

“Angry?” Clarke stood up again and chuckled dryly. “I’m fucking angry at your hypocrisy, Lexa!” Clarke began walking towards Lexa, making Lexa backtrack her steps.

“You said that distractions get people killed, yet you have no issues hanging out with my friends or getting distracted with Costia!”

Lexa’s back hit the closet with a thump. Trapped between Clarke and the furniture. She gulped down before trying to speak. “Clarke, listen…”

“No, you listen to me. I’m tired of being treated like I don’t matter, that I’m just a fucking nuisance to you! I know you’re still haunted by Gustus, I know that you carry a burden that makes you think having feelings is not okay, but this is not weakness! I hate that you keep choosing everyone but me!”

 

After that there was nothing but an eerie tense silence between them. Lexa’s green eyes met Clarke’s stormy blue ones. There were so many emotions in them that Clarke definitely thought she was drunker than what she initially assumed, because this Lexa that showed emotion was a rarity, so she had to be seeing things.

“I…” Lexa blinked back some tears that welled up in her eyes, composing her features into the robotic figure that Clarke was now more accustomed to. “I didn’t, Clarke.”

“But you did!” Clarke jabbed her finger in Lexa’s shoulder. “You let everyone. From Raven. To Costia. Get. Close. To you!”

Lexa took a deep shaky breath, still reeling what little control she had over her emotions.

“Not everyone...” Lexa swallowed moistening her lips, her throat was tight and the words wouldn’t come out but Lexa pushed. “Only you.”

Now Clarke was confused, since when Lexa chose her? She frowned looking at Lexa.

_No, I don’t because you’re the one that has gotten closer to the commander, not me Griffin._

Raven’s words started to reverberate in her mind.

 

Clarke sobered up instantly taking a step back, the weight of Lexa’s words now hitting her really hard, like a slap on the face.

Clarke blinked a few times letting those words finally sink in, she assumed that Lexa didn’t saw her in any other light than a task to fulfill, at most a good client that got along with her; but Lexa only let Clarke in.

 _I’m sorry for dumping this on you_ , Lexa had told her that night she went out with Niylah.

Lexa already chose her.

_If Lexa says you’re a distraction, doesn't that make you wonder why she thinks that?_

Raven was right about her.

Clarke turned into a total asshole, a bitter person because she refused to deal with her own feelings. No wonder everyone felt uncomfortable with the two of them in the same room. Clarke complicated everything for everyone because she had deeper feelings for the brunette with emerald eyes.

The realization finally hitting like a bucket of cold water falling over her.

_Oh fuck!_

 

“Clarke, I didn’t push you away because I wanted to be professional. I should but... It’s because I-” Lexa hesitated and Clarke wondered who was this Lexa who faltered with words and looked suddenly shy. “Because you’re you.”

“Wanheda, I know.” Clarke dejected. “Your assignment.”

“I told you that you weren’t just an assignment to me.” Lexa sighed in resignation. “I’m sorry, Clarke. I never meant to hurt you with my actions.” Lexa offered a small sad smile that broke Clarke’s heart. Lexa turned on her heel and began to leave the room.

“Lexa, wait!” Clarke tried to reach Lexa before the woman left her bedroom.

Her jealousy - because she was very sure that’s what she felt for Costia now - blinded her completely to what she was really feeling for the brunette. And of course, she misinterpreted Lexa’s words as well. Lexa had been saying something to her in her own Lexa way - between words - and it wasn't until now that she removed the jealousy fold from her eyes that she could see Lexa again.

Lexa and her weren’t so different at all.

Both were lonely, suffered deep loss and cared too much.

Weakness, Lexa called it.

Clarke called it strength.

In the end it was the same thing.

_Wasn’t it?_

There was only one way for Clarke to find out.

 

Clarke skipped the last steps to reach Lexa, cupped her face gently and closed the distance between them.

Her lips touched Lexa’s, and it was like everything was right in the world. Lexa was clearly caught by surprise, however, the tension slowly started to leave the brunette. Clarke felt Lexa melt into the kiss and open up to her, finally lowering her shields completely. Clarke took it as a positive signal to deepen the kiss, her hands moving to entangle into the soft chestnut braids and the baby hairs on the nape of her neck to pull Lexa closer, to eliminate any space left between them. Lexa’s hands were quick to find an anchor in Clarke’s lower back, keeping her steady and secure.

Nothing could have prepared Clarke for the sensations she felt by pressing her lips ever so softly against Lexa’s plump lips. It was out of this world, her heart was beating so fast, it felt as if it was going to jump out of her chest; but soon she felt the change in Lexa. The tightness of her jaw and neck so Clarke pulled away.

 

“I- I can’t...” Lexa said. “I’m sorry, Ms. Griffin.”  Her demeanor was back to the cold, stoic, emotionless woman. Her walls were so high that right now it was an impossible task to go through them.

She didn’t give a chance to Clarke to say anything else. Lexa was out of her room leaving her with nothing but want and regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update, I was on a short vacation and me and by beta got a bit behind but hopefully we will get back soon to our proposed update schedule.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Tana


	10. Chapter 10

With a deep sigh Lexa ended the call, tossing her cell phone back in her drawer.

She moved from her twin bed to the closet and pulled out an ironed white shirt and trousers to get ready for the red carpet event Clarke was going to be attending in the afternoon.

It had been 13 days since Clarke kissed her, and Lexa had been recalling every sensation that the gesture ignited.

Lexa’s weakness had taken control, and she kissed the woman back. Lexa made the biggest mistake of her career, nonetheless, it felt like the best decision of her life. How many times had Lexa dreamed of tasting Clarke’s lips?

Wasn’t that the issue though? This was an impossible dream.

Clarke was a high profile client. Every detail of her life was in the public eye. Lexa’s task was to keep her protected from the stalking of the media and fans, not to develop feelings for her mark. It was a dangerous situation for her and Clarke, and she had no choice but to shut down this sudden eruption of desire once and for all.

Lexa had been compromised by crossing the line between client and protector.

Now Lexa was going to fix her mistake.

 

Lexa moved to the shower and allowed the hot water to ease the tightness in her sore muscles. She had been training harder than ever, sparring more with Anya and Lincoln to stop thinking about the kiss. There were bruises on her shins and forearms from the brute intensity of her combat training with her partners, but it didn’t matter how hard she fought to keep her head focused, her heart did whatever it wanted, and her heart wanted Clarke. Whatever her head wanted wasn’t a priority it seemed.

The soap on her skin stung a bit whenever it touched one of the small cuts on her arms due to the sand that scraped her knees and arms. However, Lexa welcomed the pain. It felt good to be reminded of her mortality once in awhile. Her training was embedded in her mind and death wasn’t something that scared her, what scared her was what she was feeling for Clarke.

 

That’s why it was a good thing that Clarke was extremely busy recording her new album and promoting the remaining concerts with journalists from several media, leaving no time for them to speak again. Not that Lexa wanted to face Clarke with her feelings as complicated as they were at the moment. She had to push them away, bury them and lock them in place. Then be sure to never let them free again.

 

After her shower, Lexa began dressing in her most formal suit. She tucked her white button up inside her pants and adjusted her belt around her waist. She picked a black tie and made a simple windsor knot before attaching her holster and gun. Her black shoes were shiny and clean as expected; she checked herself in the mirror making sure she was decent. She took her suit jacket from the hanger and picked up her tinted aviator sunglasses from the bedside table before heading downstairs.

Lexa reached the living room and found Lincoln and Bellamy discussing sports. It was a warm day, and the sun shone bright. Heat or no heat the guests of such events had to look like they were dressed to kill. Bellamy was no exception.  The man was wearing a navy blue suit, his wild curls were tamed with gel which made his freckles stand out more. He was going to be joining Clarke since Marcus was preparing the video recording of Clarke’s upcoming single.

Lexa headed to fridge since she was not interested in joining that kind of conversation and opened a bottle of sparkling water before taking a sip as they waited for Clarke to be fully dressed and with her makeup done.

 

“What the actual fuck, Lexa!?” Anya was very sweaty, wearing her running shorts with her sports tank top. The taller bodyguard was probably doing cardio when she came inside the kitchen looking very pissed.

Lexa returned the half-full bottle back into the fridge to see what was going on with her friend. “What?”

“Is it true?” Anya moved a feet from Lexa, speaking in a low tone. “You're leaving us?”

Lexa sighed, seems the information travelled fast. “Who told you?”

“Indra. She just called me to check up on you.” Anya took the hand towel she had resting on her shoulders and wiped the sweat from her face. She studied the profile of the brunette, analyzing how uncomfortable Lexa seemed to be discussing this topic. Anya huffed, “It’s Clarke, isn’t it?”

“Anya-”

 

“Our Clarke is ready to go!” Raven announced interrupting the conversation between the best friends. She came downstairs right before Clarke made her appearance.

_HWEE HWOO!_

Bellamy whistled appreciating Clarke’s good looks.

“She looks hot, right?” Raven walked to where Bellamy and Lincoln waited and snapped a picture with her cellphone.

Lexa gulped down the knot in her throat. Clarke was so beautiful, wearing this fancy gown that matched her eyes. Lexa had no idea about fashion but the dress looked expensive as hell, still it was Clarke that made the dress look pretty and not the other way around.

“Looking amazing, Ms. Griffin.” Lincoln smiled as he picked up the car keys from the kitchen island. “I’ll get the car ready to depart.”

“Thanks guys. Bryan helped with the hair and makeup so it’s mostly his work.” Clarke blushed hiding her face away from the looks of her friends, mostly hiding away from Lexa’s enraptured eyes.

Anya elbowed Lexa to take her out of her reverie. “Lex, please tell me you haven’t done anything stupid.”

“Not now, Anya. We’ll talk tomorrow during training, okay?” Lexa adjusted her jacket and moved to the car to wait for Clarke and Bellamy.

“Fine, but you won’t get out of this. You hear me?”

 

Clarke held Bellamy’s arm as they approached the black car, leaving Raven and Anya in the house. Lexa waited for Clarke to get inside the car as protocol dictated. “Ready, Ms. Griffin?”

“Yes, thanks.” Clarke looked back at her and both stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the deep blue of Clarke’s eyes were always hypnotizing.

She wanted to say many things to Clarke, but right now Lexa had to keep her mind sharp. She wouldn’t risk her client ever.

_Distractions get people killed._

Lexa shut the door and got into the passenger seat. She checked the GPS and made sure all windows and locks were in place after Bellamy got inside to ensure the safety of her passengers before Lincoln drove to the award ceremony venue.

 

///

 

“Okay Clarke, remember. Keep the conversation fun and light with the press, also mention the date to release the single to start hyping it.”

“I know Bell, I already discussed with Marcus everything I should say today.”

“Just checking Clarke.”

 

Lincoln stopped at the red carpet entrance. The euphoria and excitement of the event could be felt by the shouts from fans in the bleachers on the lateral area of the carpet and the press calling the attention of the celebrities walking on it to take the best pictures.

“We’re here.” Lincoln announced.

“Keep the comlink open, I’ll contact you whenever Ms. Griffin requires transportation.” Lexa said to her partner.

“Okay. Good luck out there.” Lincoln offered a reassuring smile seeing how crazy was the red carpet from where they were.

Lexa quickly walked around the car and opened the door for Clarke. She met Clarke’s eyes. She seemed nervous by the way she bit her lower lip, those mannerisms were now already a common thing for Lexa to identify. “Breathe, it’s going to be okay.” Lexa said as she extended her hand for Clarke to take it and get down of the SUV.

Clarke accepted her hand and the warmth it spread in her belly was like she had been gone through an explosion. Lexa’s grip was strong and firm transmitting confidence to Clarke.

Clarke gave her a smile that ignited her heart. “I hope so. Thanks.”

 

_WANHEDA, HERE!_

_HELLO WANHEDA!_

_TURN AROUND WANHEDA!_

As Clarke glided down the red carpet with Bellamy, Lexa stayed a step behind them. The press welcomed Clarke with a wave of flashes from cameras. Everyone wanted the perfect picture. Clarke moved slowly and stopped every couple of meters to pose, standing in different ways - sometimes with her hand on her hips, others showing off the back of her simple strapless royal blue long dress along with her jewelry.

Walking on the red carpet was more like a procession than anything, it was the time to show off designers’ dresses and fancy jewelry whilst sharing a piece of her work.

Lexa was impressed by all this madness. The fanciest events she ever attended were more sober than this.

“Press line, Clarke!” Bellamy guided Clarke to the long line of TV cameras and hosts to be able to chat with them for a couple of minutes. Lexa kept her eyes on cameramen and fans studying their body language to detect any threat to her mark.

 

“Hello! Approaching our stand now we have Wanheda!” The chirpy TV host announced as Bellamy helped Clarke to climb into the platform.

“Hi!” Clarke smiled and shook the hand of the TV presenter.

“It’s so good to see you.” The woman smiled. “Wanheda, congratulations on your tour. All sold-out. How crazy has it been so far?”

“It’s been amazing. I missed being on tour and interacting with my fans. It’s such a unique experience, and I can’t wait to get back on tour.”

“We heard that you’re already recording. When can we expect your new album?”

“Ahm yeah, we are back in the studio. My new single will debut at the end of next month and we’re working on several songs right now. Hopefully by summer next year you will have my 4th album.”

“That’s great. So tell us who you wearing?”

Clarke giggled. “This is a Vera Wang, and the jewelry is Michael Kors.” Clarke showed the camera her ring as the camera panned zooming into the details.

“You look gorgeous. You’ll be presenting today best musical score, right?”

“Yes, I’m excited and hope it goes well.”

“Alright, enjoy the rest of your evening.”

 

With that Clarke concluded her first red carpet interview and Bellamy guided her towards the next reporter. Lexa was happy to see Clarke commanding that interview like a pro. On their way to the next press area, Clarke bumped into another group of guests, which caused Clarke to lift up her walls right away. Lexa moved slightly closer sensing Clarke’s distress when she spotted the familiar face.

“Oh well, look who’s here. Wanheda herself.”

“Ontari.” Clarke said with a dry tone.

Ontari eyed Clarke with disdain. “Damn, you seem to have gained some weight.”

“Fu-”

“Clarke!” Bellamy stopped Clarke before she said a vulgarity out loud, “Cameras are on you.”

“Yeah Clarke, cameras are on your big ass.” Ontari smile grew, lifting her chin up. Her eyes eyeing Clarke with hate. Lexa immediately spotted the woman two steps behind Ontari, just like her. Echo recognized Lexa by the narrow of her eyes. Lexa immediately tensed opening and closing her fists getting ready to move into action at the slightest threat from any of them. Eyes deadly cold studying the other bodyguard.

 

“Ontari. What do you want?” Clarke offered a sarcastic smile for the cameras keeping her cool but Lexa knew that was all for show.

“Who are you blowing to get Murphy as musical producer huh?” Ontari tried to reach for Clarke, but Lexa stepped in between before Ontari could even touch her. Echo walked closer as well, followed by a tall broad-shouldered man.

“I don’t have to, not like you. They seek me, not the other way around.” Clarke replied back.

Ontari twisted her lips into a snarl and was about to say more nonsense when she was stopped with a firm hand on her shoulder.

“I’m going to enjoy tearing you apart!”

 

“Ontari, that’s enough.” The tall, buff man with clear blue eyes and stubble smiled at Clarke, taking her hand in his. “Wanheda, what a pleasure to see you again.” The man brought Clarke’s hands to his lips in greeting.

“Roan King, it’s been some time. Last I saw you, it was at that new year party with your mother, right?”

“Yeah, last year went by in the blink of an eye. Congratulations on your tour. Marcus apparently is doing better than we expected.” Roan scratched his jaw. “Still, Azgeda Records has more opportunities for you than Arkadia ever will offer. You know where to find me if you ever wanna talk.”

“I don’t think so, Roan.” Bellamy stepped beside Clarke, pulling her closer to him.

“Relax kid, let the grown ups talk. I’m just keeping her options open like any respectable businessman would do.” Roan checked on Ontari who was not happy to have her mischief interrupted. “We better get going, don’t want to keep you from the interviews.”

“I’ll see you and your lap dog around, Wanheda.” Ontari spat with disdain, yet before she turned around she eyed Lexa from head to toe, checking her out like a juicy piece of meat. “However you…” Ontari smirked, “I can’t wait to see _you_ again.”

“Let’s go,” Bellamy pulled Clarke towards the next reporter before Clarke bitchslapped the other singer, and Lexa followed once again, keeping an eye on Roan and Ontari in case of more trouble.

 

The rest of the event went without incidents. Clarke made her presentation flawlessly, garnering the attention of the celebrities in the hall. Once the award ceremony concluded Lincoln drove Clarke back to her home. She had no interest in going to any after party. By her quietness Lexa knew Clarke was not just exhausted, but was struggling with herself again.

Ontari Snow was vile and used low tactics to get in the head of her musical rival. Even though Clarke was strong and battled Ontari word for word, Lexa knew Clarke. She knew there were some insecurities in Clarke that she hid very well from Marcus and Bellamy, but not from her.

If only she could offer her hand so Clarke could take it and anchor herself to her. Lexa would whisper to her that she wasn’t alone, that she was there for her.

_Focus! Clarke is your client. Nothing more._

Lexa sighed resigned to just be a figure in the background. She turned on the radio on a station that would offer relaxing music for the rest of the way back to the beach house.

 

///

 

Lexa and Anya woke up first thing in the morning to begin their practice. They were on the pool deck, using some exercise mats to fight without hurting each other too much. With the sun on the horizon, it was a great day to fight outside in the backyard.

Lexa was still thinking about the previous day and Clarke.

Ontari’s words were a sample of what Clarke got from from haters and the press on a daily basis. Clarke sought isolation in her room to deal in her own way, still, Lexa had wanted to check on her. At least Lexa hoped Marcus or even Bellamy talked to her but to them, Clarke was simply Wanheda, the rock star and money machine.

They forgot about the woman behind Wanheda. At least Clarke could count on her friend Raven who was keeping the blonde company today.

_THUMP!_

 

“Agh!” Lexa whined, she was on her back on the mat. Of course she didn’t see the sweep Anya did with her leg on time because she was thinking about Clarke.

“Lexa, you’re a fucking disaster!” Anya offered her hand to aid Lexa back up. “If you’re going to be fighting like this you might as well quit right now.”

Lexa got back in her fighting stance and Anya and her began circling each other.

Anya threw a quick succession of punches that she evaded with ease.

“Echo is guarding that Ontari girl. I saw her yesterday.” Lexa ducked and threw a quick combo of punches to counter-attack.

“Interesting. Working for Azgeda Records must have its perks.” Anya quickly changed her stance and threw a low punch into Lexa’s ribs, catching her before Lexa moved away.

“Roan King is looking to get Clarke into Azgeda. I don’t think he’s a man that takes no for an answer by the looks of it.” Lexa moved left and right, waiting for an opening.

“You think there will be trouble?” Anya kicked to surprise the brunette, but Lexa rolled on the mats and quickly countered with a lower sweep, making Anya lose her balance, but not for long.

“Yes. Ontari will be in town and probabilities of meeting her again are high with so many events. She likes trouble, particularly make Clarke feel like shit.” Lexa began punching faster, but Anya could easily see her motions. Lexa was telegraphing her movements with her body language, making it easy for Anya to evade and counter.

“And you don’t like that?” Anya probed her friend trying to rile the woman and see her reaction. “People insulting Clarke or maybe that Roan King was checking her cleavage?”

Anya found an opening and elbowed Lexa on the nose.

 

“Ow, fuck!” Lexa wiped her nose, her fingers tinted a deep red with her blood. “Fuck off Anya!” Lexa wiped her hand in her pants and got back in position again.

“You’re letting me get in your head. You won’t be able to protect Clarke from anyone if you don’t get control of your emotions.”

Anya has been teaching Lexa to fight since Lexa learned to walk.  The student surpassed the master faster than Anya expected, yet seeing her pupil and friend like this frustrated her.  She felt some bitterness towards Clarke for turning Lexa into this emotional mess. “You’re going to be useless unless you deal with your head first. Come on slowpoke! My grandma moves faster than you, and she’s dead!” Anya taunted.

Lexa moved quickly to Anya’s space, throwing punches with more precision and her footwork was now faster than before. Anya threw a fist that Lexa blocked. She slid behind Anya, throwing her into the mat and quickly getting her into a strong hold, pinning her down and quickly turned around to make an arm bar from mount making Anya submit.

“Aah shit!” Anya tapped the mat with her free hand twice in surrender. Lexa let go of the hold and stood up.

 

“Very good. That’s what I’m talking about, commander.” Anya rolled her shoulder to ease the pain a bit and moved to the patio table to grab their towels and drink water.

Lexa wiped her nose with a hand towel, hissing a bit at the slight pain.

“You okay?”

“Hurts.” Lexa answered earnestly. She drank greedily from the water bottle finishing it in quick gulps.

“So, Luna? Are you serious? You’re going to let Luna replace you?” Anya asked, drying her neck and sweaty arms.

“There’s no one else I’d trust with Clarke’s safety. She’s good, can’t deny that.”

“I know but still. It’s Luna. She runs away as soon as things get tough Lex. Remember when she left you to deal with those thugs? Yeah, good times.” Anya took a seat to relax from the training session.

“That was years ago, An. She was a noob.” Lexa wiped her sweaty face before continuing. “Doesn’t matter, you’ll lead the team, not her.”

“When?”

“She’s doing a job at the moment. She’ll join us in San Francisco.”

“Are you going to tell Clarke?”

“No. It’s better this way.”

 

Anya nodded, drinking some more from her bottle. “What happened to Costia? I thought you and Costia started out on the right foot? You text almost everyday so I assumed you two were doing great.” Anya inquired, eyeing carefully at her friend.

“I tried, An. I wanted things to work out with her but...” Lexa sighed, she rubbed the nape of her neck.

“You don’t like Costia that way.” Anya finished for her.

“I’ll move on eventually. I just need time and then maybe, I can learn to love Costia.” Lexa tried to reassure her friend and partner. Mostly herself.

“You’re not a robot, Lex. You can’t turn on and off your feelings. I wished you could because Costia is great.”

“You dislike Clarke that much?”

Anya laughed. “I just can’t process that you’re into Clarke aka Wanheda. There are millions of women in the world, and you’re going to fall for the worst option?”

“It’s not the worst, Anya!”

“A frigging rock star nonetheless. If it was just the sex appeal I’d get it, but you’re way deep by the looks of it. What do you see in her anyway? She’s a product created by Marcus Kane and Arkadia Music Group.”

“Clarke elevates herself. She’s special.”

Anya worried her lip, looking at Lexa with skepticism.

“She’s down to earth and very loyal. I like how strong she is and how she cares deeply for her people. I guess that’s why I feel like this. I don’t know… this might go away, An. Stop making a big deal out of this.”

 

“But damn she is annoying as hell!” Anya jabbed seeing Lexa start to ease. “Whatever the hell it is you’re feeling, squid; nothing can happen though. You know that’s a huge risk. Not just for a potential scandal because the press has no clue about Clarke’s sexcapades with women, but your job is on the line too, Lexa.” Anya reached Lexa’s hand. “Clarke will discard you as soon as she gets bored of you. You’re a novelty for her. We’ve been to their post-concert parties, you’ve heard what the band teases Clarke about. Marcus always complains that Clarke can’t keep it in her pants. What is clear, whether this is just gossip or not, is that Wanheda is not looking for love, Lex. She wants uncomplicated, no strings attached, and that’s not you.”

 

Lexa was very aware. She met Niylah already and saw how it ended. Clarke herself told her that she simply wanted to feel less alone. Clarke had no time for romance when she had to give her all to her fans, and yet, Clarke Griffin had kissed her.

“I know, An. I just have to keep my distance until Luna can join us.”

“Can you though?”

Lexa should say yes right away but nothing came out of her mouth. What is worse is that she already knew what would feel to kiss her, and she wished she could do so again. Anya didn’t need to know that though. Better to leave open to interpretation what she was feeling to Anya, because right now she was so scared to admit it to herself.

“I can.” Lexa answered after a long pause.

Anya narrowed her eyes and took a deep breath nodding. “I’m not your nanny anymore, squid. You’re capable of making your own decisions. My advice is get it out of your system. The more you keep longing for her, the more you’ll want her.”

“That’s what I’m doing, Anya. Sparring, gym, jogging.” Lexa stated.

“Masturbation? And if that doesn’t work sex someone up.”

“No more meaningless sex for me. I already hurt someone who cared about me.”

“Alright then, I give up. I just hope you don’t end up with a broken heart.” Anya lifted up from her chair, rested her hand briefly on Lexa’s shoulders and returned inside the house.

Lexa hoped so too.

 

///

 

After a good shower and a very relaxing morning at the beach house of the rock star, the bodyguard team were hanging out in the living room whilst Clarke, Raven and Octavia were on the pool deck playing board games after spending some time having fun together as a group.

Lexa kept her senses on alert, paying attention to the sound of Clarke’s voice coming from the pool area. The blonde looked happier and less stressed which was always good in Lexa’s book.

Anya and Lincoln were arguing about pizza toppings, and Lexa was reading one of her romantic, extremely gay books when Raven came inside the house.

“Hey grounders!” Raven waved to the trio. “We got plans for tonight. We’re going to a karaoke bar to have a fun in…” Raven checked her wristwatch, “I think in an hour or two, does that work for you?”

“Do you have a place in mind?” Anya asked. “I need to go ahead first to check the place and find a suitable area for Clarke, Raven.”

“I know, cheekbones. I got the info here so you do your thing while we get ready.” Raven winked at Anya before she handled her the piece of paper with the information.

Anya smiled and read the note. “Got it, be right back. I’ll call if anything seems dangerous though.”

Lincoln and Lexa nodded before Anya departed.

 

“Anything else Ms. Griffin might need?” Lexa asked, dropping her book in her lap.

At that Raven leaned on the kitchen counter, crossing her arms and legs, her lips curving widely. “Oh yeah, I do think there is something Ms. Griffin might need, commander.”

Lexa tilted her head. She was already thinking Clarke wasn’t okay as she thought she would be with her friends making her company today.

“What would that be?”

Raven perked her brow in amusement rubbing her hands evily. “Well…” Raven made a pause for dramatic effect. “Clarke seems pretty tense and in need of magical fingers for starters.” Raven smile grew larger as she wiggled her fingers. “I think that you can reach that very specific spot by the length of your-”

“Raven, what the hell?” Clarke came inside like a bolt of lightning. “We’re supposed to get ready not here chatting with the security team!” Clarke seemed deeply flustered, her red cheeks making her look sunburnt not embarrassed.

Raven laughed, “I’m trying to help Clarke. Lexa seems to be a good candidate though.”

“Shut it, Reyes.” Clarke started to pull Raven back to the yard. “Sorry about that.”

“She said it was a 10/10!” Raven shouted before Clarke pushed her forcibly outside.

 

Lincoln turned to Lexa, looking at her pretty lost here. He scratched his mohawk styled head, “What’s wrong with Clarke?”

“I ah, I’m not sure. Raven can be very cryptic sometimes. Anya can read her well though.”

Lincoln laughed and moved to the fridge to grab the orange juice box. “Yeah, those two together are a menace. Can’t let them team up ever again when playing charades.”

“Agreed. How on earth did Raven understand what Anya was doing?”

Lincoln chuckled, “No idea.”

Lexa took her book again to continue reading when she began thinking on what the hell Raven was talking about.

_What could be a 10 out of 10?_

Lexa started to read the first line when she finally caught it.

_Fuck!_

She closed the book and suddenly she lost the ability to think clearly, blood rushing to her head and to the tip of her ears.

_Raven knows! Of course she does! She’s Clarke’s best friend. Wait. Does Clarke think our kiss was a 10?_

Lexa tapped her cheeks to get her head out of her ass. Those weren’t the thoughts she’s supposed to be harvesting when she’s trying to move on from those feelings she isn’t supposed to have for her client.

 

She stood up abruptly dropping the book on the floor. She eyed the backyard where the three friends were playing Monopoly. Her eyes seeking Clarke’s and like gravity Clarke’s eyes pulled her in as she saw the sky blue. They were connected for an instant until Lincoln’s voice disrupted it.

“Here you go.” Lincoln picked her book from the floor and returned it.

“Ah thanks.”

“You good?” Lincoln drank from his glass taking a small sip. “You look feverish.”

“Oh, I’m okay. It’s just the heat. I ah, I’ll go take a shower and suit up. We have a long night ahead so better be ready. When Anya comes back, check the car and fill it up with gas.”

“Roger that!”

It was better to get into the work mindset right away. This was her comfort zone - duty. Lexa composed her expression and made sure to keep her cool, otherwise she was at risk of losing herself in the swirl of emotions inside her heart.

 

///

 

There were lots of people already outside the small but very popular karaoke bar that the girls selected. It was Saturday night and of course, people would go out to have fun.

Lincoln parked the car at the main entrance. Lexa and Anya immediately went to the front of the bar where Anya spoke with the bouncer to let them know their client was here. Once they gave her the thumbs up, Lexa returned to the car and opened the door for her client and friends.

It took less than a minute to hear the people gasping and pointing their cellphones towards Clarke.

“We have set apart a private booth for you, but we need to go through the general area first.” Lexa informed the three women in tow.

“Okay, thank you.” Clarke said while waving and smiling at the few fans already calling the name _Wanheda_ with excitement, while others just kept watching in silence and shock.

Lexa kept the front covered and Anya covered the back of the line, their eyes already watching for anyone daring to be bold to get close to the musician. Lincoln would be parking and joining them in a couple more minutes making sure the car was going to be safe from prying eyes.

 

Once inside the bar Lexa noticed the center stage with a microphone stand and neon lights for those brave enough to sing to the whole bar.  A big screen behind the stage was playing images of videos and the music was loud, and there were people dancing on one side and the others were mildly intoxicated in cheerful conversation.

The bar was full with patrons buying drinks, and there were booths for the ones who wanted to sing karaoke on the sides of the main area.

Lexa turned into the deepest part of the venue and found the booth that Anya requested earlier, which was closer to the emergency exit and was spacious enough for them.

Lexa opened the door first, making a quick check of the place and immediately let Clarke, Raven and Octavia inside. Anya shut the door behind her, and the two women moved to the back to allow as much privacy to their client as possible.

 

The trio of excited friends sat comfortably, Lincoln came a minute later with the person in charge to serve them for the night.

The girls made their beverage orders and soon Raven was setting the equipment to begin their karaoke night.

“Okay, let’s start with the classics.” Raven said, checking the list of songs available. “Octavia, what do you say we go for some 80’s power ballads?”

“Hey what about me?” Clarke protested.

Raven huffed. “Clarke, you're a fucking singer, you’re not here to sing shit but to get very happy and slightly drunk. Tonight we…” Raven pointed at her and Octavia, “Are going to entertain you guys.” Raven wiggled her brows playfully at the bodyguards on the far wall.

Clarke rolled her eyes but relaxed, slumping further in her couch.

“Okay, here we go. You are about to be dazzled!” Raven pressed play and the fun night began.

 

///

 

The drinks kept coming, and the girls were already mildly inebriated. Raven even dedicated Wannabe by the Spice Girls to Anya, backed up by Octavia of course.

The song was completely off key but it seemed to be just what Clarke needed, and Anya couldn’t fight the grin off her face.

Lexa was observing how Clarke let herself get lost in the normalcy of this moment. Her life was far from normal but the little moments that she could enjoy with only friends, without the stalking of the press or dealing with the likes of Ontari made this so worth it. That’s all Lexa could ever give Clarke, this little bubble to feel safe and happy.

“Ugh!” Clarke stretched her arms, and moved to the door. “I need to pee.” Clarke said before she walked out of their private area.

Anya eyed Lexa, the silent question hanging between them.

“I got it. You enjoy your song.” Lexa answered and followed after Clarke.

 

The bodyguard joined the musician quickly, matching her steps until Lexa reached the door and opened it for her.

Clarke walked inside and of course there were already a group of ladies in there, because when have you ever been to an empty women’s bathroom? Girls moved in packs, and this pack was already paying attention to the blonde.

“OH MY GOD!” A short dorky girl with black hair shouted out loud, her eyes wide as saucers. “No manches, es la mismísima Wanheda!”

“Hey!” Clarke waved.

“Holy shite!” One of her friends, another girl with a british accent and blue eyes said. “It is her. I told you Yessy!”

“Um, no disrespect but is it cool if we take some pictures with you?” A taller brunette with a cool nose ring asked.

“Yeah!” Clarke turned to Lexa. “Could you please help these gorgeous ladies and take us some pictures?”

Lexa smiled and complied taking the cellphones of the excited fans quickly and snapping one picture after another.

“Oh my, thank you so much!” One of the girls of the group said.

“Can you sign this?” Another girl, with dark shoulder-length hair from the group asked offering her snapback.

“Of course!” Clarke took the pen. “What’s your name?”

“Lili and thanks!” She said waiting until Clarke finished.

“It was so nice meeting you!” They offered their hands to Clarke. “These are my friends Yessy, Glenda and Hayley.”

“Ana is going to flip when she hears about this.” Glenda said with a smirk on her face.

“It was my pleasure meeting you all.” Clarke answered, and Lexa could see that Clarke was telling the truth.

She was so authentic with her fans, smiling and never denying them anything. She cared for them so much and that’s why people - particularly young people - were attracted to Clarke. She was real and humble. Someone they would follow to the ends of the earth.

 

Once the group left, Clarke let out a long breath, “Okay I am about to pee my pants,” and ran to the first available stall.

Lexa chuckled and waited by the door for Clarke to relieve herself, shutting it temporarily while Clarke finished.

A couple of minutes later Clarke washed her hands.

Clarke turned to face Lexa and stopped. Lexa realized that they were alone. After many busy days, finally they were alone in the ladies restroom of a karaoke bar of all places.

“So…” Clarke shoved her thumbs inside the pockets of her jeans. “Are we going to pretend nothing happened between us?”

Lexa gulped, she wasn’t ready for this conversation. She might never be but alas…

“Yes.” Lexa answered swallowing hard. “Because nothing happened.”

Clarke cocked a single brow. “You kissed me back.”

“I did, but I shouldn’t have.” Lexa breathed in very slowly to calm her racing heart.

“Right, because of Costia. I’m sorry if I caused problems between you two. Actually, I am so so sorry that I was acting like a bitch when you wanted nothing but to help me and ruined your date and antagonized you all the way since New York.”

“Slow down, Clarke. Costia and I- we aren’t together. We’re friends, so you don’t have to apologize for that. And ah, for the rest you’re forgiven. I understand you’re under a lot of pressure.”

“Oh! Still I am deeply sorry.” Clarke said looking at Lexa embarrassed for her stupid assumptions.  Clarke shifted her weight from one foot to another, her blue eyes searching Lexa’s for something.

 

It was better for Lexa to plunge the knife before things escalated to something that could destroy both of them. Better rip off the band-aid and let go.

“The kiss…  it can’t happen again.”

“And it won’t... if that’s what you want.” Clarke shrugged taking cautious steps towards Lexa. “But tell me Lexa. Tell me I made a mistake. That you felt nothing when we kissed. That this thing between us means nothing to you.” Clarke’s voice got deep and husky whenever she spoke lowly, causing Lexa’s belly to flip. “Tell me that you don’t feel this attraction between us. That I was wrong and you regret it.”

The magnetism of their eyes connected them instantly, green and blue studying each other’s features hoping to find a revelation. Lexa could smell from where Clarke was standing her perfume, the sweet aroma of her shampoo, and her fingers itched to lock her hands in the silky blonde’s pink hair and kiss her. Yet she had a duty to fulfill. She was a prisoner to her job, to protect her mark and there was no escape from this solitude. Lexa was trapped in a place where she could not have the blonde no matter how she felt. “I can’t do that...” Lexa admitted. “But Clarke, we’re bound by duty. You owe yourself to your fans, to your music label and I, to protect and watch over you until my next job. It doesn’t matter what we feel; this, whatever _this_ is, cannot be.”

Lexa didn’t want to assume anything regarding Clarke’s feelings. The musician was hard to read because her signals were so mixed, some days she pushed her away and others she would seek her like an anchor. The loneliness both felt could be playing a role here too, the need to connect with someone whom you identify and felt comfortable with. Lexa had to tread with caution and not believe this was because of love.

Clarke reached for Lexa’s crooked tie and adjusted it. The small contact setting Lexa’s veins on fire.

The musician took a step away once she was done, respecting Lexa’s personal space.

Clarke tilted her head, checking her work. “What kind of life is this if we cannot pursue what we want? Don’t you think we deserve better than that?”

“Maybe we do.”

 

Lexa was struggling hard to keep her feet stuck to the floor, because right now she wanted nothing but to reach for Clarke and tell her that she deserved so much more than what life was giving her. Lexa would bow to Clarke and give her heart if that meant to see the woman happy. But Clarke’s heart wasn’t meant to be hers. Not in this life. Maybe not ever.

Sensing that this was all they had to talk about Clarke shut her eyes and released a long breath. “Keep it professional, be civil and just focus on our work. Is that right?”

“Yes, Ms. Griffin. Your safety will always be my priority, my job to protect you trumps everything else, no matter what.”

“Right, because distractions get people killed. I do get it Lexa, I do. I know how important this job is for you, but…” Clarke smoothed the lapels of Lexa’s grey suit jacket before removing her hands. “You’re part of my little family on the road, Lexa. This thing we both feel - attraction, lust or… whatever - shouldn’t be an impediment for us to be friends. Can you at least accept that offering?”

“I uh, I guess friendship should be okay.” Lexa curved her lips.

Clarke matched her smile. “Also, we make a good charades team, don’t you think?”

Lexa chuckled. “True. Raven and Anya beat us by a short margin, but yes, we make a great team.”

They could be friends. Just like she and Costia were, maybe a friend like Anya. Even though technically, that would be crossing the professional line Lexa had self-imposed, friendship wasn't something that she couldn’t come back from. At least, she’d be close to Clarke while she remained with her on tour.

Lexa nodded in acceptance.

 

“Who knows,” Clarke shrugged, “Maybe someday you and I won’t owe anything to anyone.”

_And be free to choose each other over duty?_

_To let the reins of this attraction run free?_

_To be able to hold and care for each other?_

_Maybe even love?_

“I hope so.”

Lexa said because that’s all they had left. Hope that maybe one day things would be different, however, Clarke was never going to stop being Wanheda, and Lexa was always going to be relegated to be a shadow. Nothing was ever going to happen between them because love stories like that don't exist.

 

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

“Lexa? Everything alright with Ms. Griffin?” Anya asked with a deadly cold tone.

Clarke paled hearing Anya’s emotionless voice. “She knows!?” Clarke widened her eyes towards the door. “If she didn’t like me before, now she will hate me forever.”

“Anya’s my best friend, she knew something was off. However, she isn’t aware of the... details and for the record, she doesn’t hate you. Yes, she’s wary and might harvest some mistrust, but she’d never move against you because that would be moving against me.” Lexa narrowed her eyes cocking her head to the side, hand on her hip. “How much does Raven know though?”

“Aaah, she knows plenty, but Raven won’t say a thing.”

“Clarke…” Lexa warned.

“Raven might act too laidback and untrustworthy, but she’s my confidante and would never betray me. Can you trust that?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, clenching her jaw.

“Well, then trust me. If I say Raven won’t say a thing is because she won’t!”

Lexa sighed. She had no other option that to put her trust in someone else. Okay. Let’s go back, Ms. Griffin.”

 

Lexa opened the door allowing Clarke to go out first. She escorted her back with Anya watching Lexa’s every step. Once Clarke was safely in their private booth, Lexa returned to her position in the back of the room while Raven sang a love song. Anya’s gaze was scorching, her almond colored eyes burning holes in her head.

“Nothing happened.”

“You took long enough in there.” Anya was very skeptical.

“There were fans, and Clarke took the time to talk with them for a bit, that’s why. I’m not an idiot, Anya. I know the risks.”

“Good. Because it would be stupid to do so.”

“I’m more than capable of separating feelings from duty!”

“Lexa…”

“Anya, enough!”

With that Lexa gave for concluded their conversation and resumed watching for potential trouble.

 

///

 

“The patrons must have shared the info of Wanheda being here in social media.” Anya turned around after observing the number of paparazzi cameras ready to snap a picture of the musician through the windows of the bar and waiting like vultures at the front door.

“Lincoln, go through the back door and get the car fast. We’ll move her as soon as you’re here.” Lexa ordered. “No point going through the front now. ETA Linc?”

“I should be here in 10 minutes or less depending how many paparazzi step near the car.” Lincoln quickly walked outside through the employee's area, and the security women remained with their client and friends.

“Raven and Octavia, I think that you should stick to Ms. Griffin. Lexa and I can be on your sides and be able to protect all of you in case some of them try to chase us to the back of the bar.” Anya suggested, adjusting the knot of her tie, feeling constrained.

“We’ll go straight to the car so don’t stop walking until all of you are inside.” Lexa adjusted her holster, feeling already on edge.

“Gotcha, we won’t get in your way.” Raven said.

“Let’s just wait back in the booth for Lincoln. Lot’s of people taking pictures in here.” Lexa began the retreat with the group of friends.

 

“Hey sweetheart, why don’t you sing and move that pretty ass of yours up to the stage?” A man hanging out at the bar said. His dark eyes raking Clarke’s body with lust without shame.

“Why don’t you fuck off!” Clarke flipped off the man.

“Come on, let’s keep going Ms. Griffin.” Lexa stepped in front of Clarke blocking the view of the rock star. “Keep drinking and leave her alone, Mister.”

Another guy hanging out with the lecherous drunk joined in laughter. “Maybe you should put her on all fours and make her sing in other ways.”

Lexa stopped dead in her tracks, clenching her fists.

“Lexa, come on!” Anya called, moving the three girls to the back. “They’re drunk. Leave it!”

“Oh come on babe! Where are you going?” The man touched suggestively the bulge in his pants. “Show us those titties of-”

_POW!_

_CLASH!!_

_GASPS!!!_

The drunken man fell on the floor as Lexa’s fist connected with his jaw.

“Anya get them out of here!” Lexa commanded, and the mayhem began.

 

“You fucking bitch!” The man was quick to launch himself at Lexa, tackling her against the bar.

Lexa hit her back hard, but she responded with a headbutt to put her assailant at a distance, breaking the nose of the drunkard. “Hurry Linc! I need you here stat!” Lexa said through her comlink; with her peripheral vision she noticed that Anya was forcefully pulling Clarke away from danger. The blonde apparently was desperate to get to Lexa considering how hard she fought Anya, trying to remove Anya’s strong grip from her waist, but that wouldn’t do any good right now.

“Take her out NOW!” Lexa shouted in their direction, but the distraction cost her missing the incoming attack with a beer bottle which cracked in her head. Lexa lost her balance, and her vision was blurred. She felt warm liquid over the left side of her face, which definitely wasn’t beer because it was sticky and had a strong metallic smell. Next, she took another hit on her jawline, making her fall on her knees.

Lexa took a deep breath and snapped out of it, standing up quickly to evade the next attacks, but received a punch on her ribs before grabbing the man in a hold and smashing his face against a table twice. She kneed his head, and the guy fell unconscious onto the floor.

 _“Wanheda is in the car.”_ Lexa heard Lincoln report through her earpiece.

Lexa was breathing heavily, “GO!” The other man came for her, who was bigger but way slower than drunkard number one. Lexa evaded his first attack before she kicked his groin and elbowed him in the face knocking him out instantly. Lexa remained in a defensive position, arms on her sides with fists ready, waiting for anyone else to do or try anything against her but most people moved back away, filming with their phones or running away from the chaos.

She turned around to the bartenders cowering in a corner and sat on a stool to rest. “Sorry about that.” Her head was fuzzy, and she blinked rapidly trying to keep herself alert. “I uh, I’ll leave shortly. We won’t cause any more trouble.” Lexa said to the bouncers grabbing the two men on the floor before she regained her composure and began her retreat through the back exit hoping to evade more cameras.

 

“Holy fuck!” Anya came running to her friend and quickly laced her arm around her waist for support. “We need to take you to a hospital.”

“Where is Clarke?”

“Lincoln is driving them home as we speak, but Clarke swore she was going to jump out of the car if I didn’t get back to you.”

Lexa chuckled, of course Clarke would say that. “No hospitals. It’s nothing.”

Anya looked at the gash above Lexa’s brow. “Umm, I wouldn’t say nothing. It looks like you will need some stitches. At least let’s go to a more discreet clinic. Here, press hard before you faint.” Anya handed her a handkerchief.

Lexa pressed with her free hand and anchored herself to Anya the other. She was feeling the pain start to creep on her now that the adrenaline was fading.

“Let’s get a cab.”

 

///

 

By the time Lexa and Anya were back to the beach house, Raven and Octavia had bid farewell to Clarke who was waiting dead worried for Lexa with Lincoln in the living room.

Anya opened the door and soon Clarke was on her feet, her eyes wide as she noticed the bodyguard’s appearance. Her crisp white shirt stained with blood and her face already bruising.

“Hey, we’re back.” Anya greeted.

Lexa moved slowly, her ribs were hurting and her head was pounding, but seeing Clarke waiting for her made everything better.

“Hey Lex, how are you feeling?” Lincoln went to greet her giving her a squeeze on her shoulder.

“I’m good. Nothing out of the ordinary here.” Lexa offered a smile in reassurance.

Clarke let out a long relieved sigh. She approached Lexa, her eyes filled with so much concern that Lexa had no idea how to feel about that.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I’m not going to let anyone disrespect you, Ms. Griffin.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know, but you have to let me handle the dirt. It’s my job.”

Clarke forced a smile, expecting the usual answer. “Of course it is. Thanks guys, I’m off to my room now that you two are back.” With that, Clarke left them alone.

 

“Geez, Lex. You overreacted and you know the reason.” Anya said with a huff, she began removing her tie while she headed to her room. “You can’t protect her from every piece of garbage she’ll encounter. You should have avoided the conflict!”

“Anya, come on! Give her a break, she did what she thought was best to protect Clarke’s integrity.” Lincoln said.

Anya raised her hand in defeat. “Whatever, just try to get some sleep you two.”

Lincoln rubbed his jaw, waiting until Anya disappeared. “Octavia told me what happened. I probably would have done the same. You know that Anya is more old school. Not interfering until there is real danger for the client. If we don’t care enough for our clients then we wouldn’t be doing our job right. That’s what I believe.” Lincoln offered a smile to Lexa and retreated to his room. “Good night, Lexa. You did good.”

 

Lexa could have avoided that fight. That’s true, but she just reacted instinctively. Any person that dared to say the things those filthy pieces of human garbage said to Clarke would face the consequences. Period.

She retreated to her room upstairs, taking the time to remove her bloodied clothes before she took a brief shower to remove the stench of alcohol and blood from her body. She noticed in the foggy mirror the dark bruises already appearing on her face and ribs.

After toweling her body, she put on her sleepwear and turned off the lights and switched on the lamp on her night table.

She pulled out her romance novel and sat on her twin bed. She didn’t want to sleep right yet. Her mind was racing, and her body was reeling from the action. Light reading could help her relax.

 

After 20 minutes her door opened suddenly, startling Lexa a bit. It was Clarke of course, wearing a long navy blue camisole, with no makeup and her hair completely loose. Clarke was gorgeous in her most simplest way.

Lexa left her book on her night table, surprised by the unannounced visit of the blonde woman. “Aah, Ms. Griff-”

“We’re friends, right? So stop that already.” Clarke smiled tenderly.

“Clarke… umm, can’t sleep?”

Clarke shut the door behind her and her eyes moved all over Lexa. She approached slowly, her bare feet moving silently across the smaller bedroom and sat on the edge of the mattress.

“Gosh...” Clarke traced Lexa’s face careful not to hurt her, her azure eyes looking at the white gauze on top of her forehead with concern. Scanning for more cuts and bruises. “You’re hurt because of me.”

“It looks worse than it actually is and no, I made the call to engage with those assholes, not you.”

“I was worried for you. When Anya called Lincoln to say she was taking you to a clinic, I thought the worst!”

“Clarke, you shouldn’t have to worry for me. In this line of job, we get hurt all the time. That’s how the business is.”

“Doesn't mean I’m not going to care!” Clarke swallowed hard, her thumb running over the plump busted lip and then to the black bruise on the underside of her jaw. Her eyes were watery, on the verge of crying.

 

Lexa allowed herself this moment to lean into Clarke’s soft hand. She closed her eyes and simply rejoiced in this new comforting feeling. The contact always made her feel that some kind of energy flowed between them, like electricity, making the tiny hairs on her arms stand up, making her legs feel wobbly and her heart pumping blood fast.

Lexa opened her eyes and curved her lips. “Thank you for caring, but promise me you won’t endanger yourself for me or anyone else on my team again. I’m here to take the bullet for you, Clarke. Not the other way around.”

Clarke removed her hand, her eyes filled with steel determination. “I’m not going to stand there and watch you get hurt!”

“You have to let me. It is my job.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Like hell I do!”

“ _Klark_ ,” Lexa said in that very particular way that made Clarke melt. “You need to accept this. I’m your protector, and you have to stay safe and away from danger.”

“Why do you have to be so stubborn, Woods?”

“Who’s the stubborn one here, Clarke?”

 

Both of them locked their gazes. So much relief and care reflected in their eyes. Want and need. Passion and desire. The air around them felt too heavy, too dense, like the temperature was rising, and there was nothing but heat between them escaping their pores. Lexa had never felt anything like this, not with anyone. What was so special about Clarke Griffin that turned Lexa Woods into a puddle of emotions?

The brunette could feel the body heat of the other woman. They were so close yet so far apart. They both led lives that were completely opposite, two sides of a coin. Lexa’s eyes followed the motion of Clarke’s tongue moistening her lips. Her emerald eyes seeking the familiar sapphire ones, which turned darker. Lexa bit the inside her cheek hoping that the slight pain would re-attach her to reality and that she would not do anything remotely stupid, or courageous, depending on one’s perspective.

However, she couldn’t allow herself to be weak. Lexa had to limit their intimate interactions and stop wanting to send everything to hell just to kiss Clarke one more time. She had a responsibility. She needed to bury these feelings once and for all.

“Thank you,” Lexa cleared her throat reclining to put more distance between them. “For backing me up.”

“I would have done the same for _any_ of my friends.”

Of course she would, that’s who Clarke was at her core. Lexa could not deny that she felt a big disappointment. Deep down Lexa wished Clarke did it for her. She gave her a slight nod and a tiny smile in gratitude.

“I swear I’m fine, go back to your bed, Ms. Griffin.”

Clarke nodded curving her lips slightly, even shyly. “Okay. Rest well, Lexa.”

 

Clarke left Lexa’s room just like she entered - like a ghost - leaving Lexa in her solitude. She opened up the bookmark of her favorite romance book. She chuckled bitterly because who was she kidding? Her life was far from being like this novel.  After all, the book was fiction.

Lexa stored the book away in her drawer unmotivated to keep reading and prepared to sleep instead. Already feeling down and miserable because this friendship they agreed to was ridiculous. She had been fighting this attraction for so long. Her emotions kept growing every day in the company of Clarke, but she had to give up and accept that this wasn’t as simple as she wanted it to be. That all this confusion could be solved with acceptance.

Lexa was madly in love with a girl who was out of her reach; a star among stars.

And the mere mortals on the ground cannot touch the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the messed up schedule, my beta had a week from hell which of course delayed the planned update. We both are doing our best efforts to return to our biweekly schedule. I really hope we can achieve that next chapter. So cross your fingers everything goes as planned and we can update in two weeks.  
> Thanks again for your patience and your support, much love.
> 
> Tana
> 
> PS Special shout-out to the crazy bitches of the S&T kru ;)


	11. Chapter 11

“OOOOOOH! Damn, that’s a mean headbutt, commander!” Jasper pressed pause on the online video.

“Uff! Total annihilation.” Monty agreed fist bumping Jasper.

Bellamy glared at the tech duo. “Stop that you two, we have to focus here!” Bellamy turned to look at Clarke, sitting at the center spot of her couch in the living room. “What the hell happened! What were you thinking going out to a bar!?”

Raven raised her hand. “Um, it was my idea, Clarke was feeling down so why not cheer her up? She’s tired Bellamy. She needs time for herself!”

“Wanheda makes a wild appearance at a karaoke bar, fists fly.” Bellamy read the headline of the tabloid. “That’s exactly the image we have been working to erase over the past 6 months. Here you are again - front and center in the tabloids for unruly behavior.”

“She didn’t start it, Bell.” Octavia said nonchalantly.

“Clarke is furious though. She’s fighting Anya like a lioness!” Jasper pointed at the images of Clarke from another video clip.

“I’d bet $20 on Clarke. She’d kick Anya’s ass.” Raven grinned mischievously in Anya’s direction.

Anya on the other hand rolled her eyes, arching a single brow daring Raven to backtrack but remained in the background of the room without saying a word.

“Naaah, Anya, I vouch for you.” Octavia said.

“Hot damn! Chick fight!”

“Jasper!” Bellamy glared, “Everyone back to the topic!”

Jasper closed the lid of his laptop hiding his gaze from a very furious Bellamy.

“Those idiots might be suing!” Bellamy said. “This is going to be bad press and right when we are close to the release date of the new single, Clarke, Marcus is counting on me to manage you and look what you ended up doing!”

“Relax, Bell. If Marcus complains I’ll take the responsibility, now stop the drama will ya?” Raven interjected already fed up with the assistant manager.

“The general consensus online is that the guys were asshats. I don’t think they are going to get anywhere when all witnesses believe they deserved it.” Monty was reading all the feeds he could to gather more data.

“Hmm, I hope so.” Bellamy turned to look directly at Clarke. “Clarke, tweet to thank the people from the venue for the great service and discretion. A shout out would be good to promo the bar to keep everyone happy.”

“Will do.” Clarke answered robotically.

 

Right in that moment her phone rang, she checked the screen and saw her mother’s name.

“Gotta answer, it’s my mom.” Clarke said before she moved away from the living room and made it into the backyard under the watchful gaze of Lexa to speak with her mother. Closing the sliding glass doors behind her she reached the pool area.

She swiped the screen to connect the call. “Hey mom.” Clarke walked around the pool, breathing the salty air coming from the beach. It was a beautiful morning that she could spend laying on the deck with her friends, but she was stuck with Bellamy for the time being.

“Hey sweetheart, just read online what happened. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. My bodyguards kept me safe.”

“Good to hear that.” Abby sighed on the phone. “Oh baby, I miss you so much, and I hate that you’re exposing yourself to potential danger.”

“I miss you too, mom. I’ll be there right before Christmas so we can spend some family time together.  And don’t worry, my security team is doing a great job.”

“I can’t wait to see you again, Clarke. Are you eating and sleeping properly?”

“Yup, Lex- err, my staff always makes sure I have food and rest, mom. I’m okay.”

Clarke let out a wistful sigh thinking of the times Lexa came to wake her up, or even reminded her to go to bed when she was in the living room answering fanmail late at night.

Now it was mostly Raven, Anya or Lincoln knocking on her door early in the morning and sending her to bed at night.

Yes, they agreed to be friends. To act civil towards each other which was working fantastic for the dynamic of the crew again, but not for her. She missed the closeness they used to share.

“Honey? What’s wrong?”

Clarke frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You sound sad. Your voice is usually brighter. Are you getting sick?”

“I guess, been working nonstop. After this tour I’m going to take a long break before I dedicate some time to promote my new album next year.” Clarke wasn’t excited about any of it right now. Not for the upcoming concerts nor the video of her new single. The reason was named Lexa.

“I gotta go, surgery time. Take care honey. I hope to talk to you soon. Love you.”

“Love you too, mom.” Clarke ended the call and returned to the living room.

 

“I accept the responsibility. I made the choice, not Anya nor Lincoln. If you want to express your dissatisfaction to Marcus or even to Trikru Security do so, but leave my team out of this.” Lexa stated, standing in her rest position with her hands clasped at her back, always so regal and formal, her navy blue suit pressed and clean. Lexa always looked powerful and imposing this way. Plus, it made her way more attractive. The only evidence that something bad happened was the blackish bruise on her jaw, busted lip and bandaged forehead.

“We’ll make sure to deal with any situation that might arise, Mr. Blake.” Anya added to support her partner. “If our client feels threatened or unsafe, we will take the best course of action right away. Even if it might appear negative, the only purpose is to protect the integrity and well-being of our client.” Anya nodded to Lexa who was already tense by her stiff posture.

“Jesus, Bell! It was my fault! Leave Lexa and her team out of this!” Clarke returned to the living room just in time to hear this nonsense. Clarke crossed her arms tired of Bellamy’s bullshit. “They did nothing wrong!”

“Alright, alright! Moving on with business now that we have cleared things up. We’re heading to location tomorrow to film the video of your new single. It’s going to take us three days and Marcus is already there. You’ll be interviewed by Vogue magazine next week to close our mid-tour break right before the launch of your new single.”

“Fan-fuckin-tastic!” Clarke didn’t mean to sound sarcastic, but she clearly failed.

“Okay Monty, link us with Marcus.” Bellamy after giving a disapproving frown to the rock star moved to the available seat while Monty connected the video call with Marcus

 

“We’re online. Hey boss, we’re ready.” Monty said as he left his laptop on the center table with the screen facing Clarke, Raven and Bellamy.

“Hey Clarke. We’ll discuss the latest headlines later.” Marcus eyed Clarke seriously through the screen earning a roll of her eyes. “I’ve been discussing the general storyboard with the director today. This video is going to be full of action.”

“Hey! If you want to add explosions you better include me, Kane.” Raven pouted, crossing her arms like a petulant child.

“Not to those extremes Raven. Anyway, the main idea of the video is to portray Clarke as the ultimate badass. She is in love with the client she’s supposed to be watching. Therefore she can’t tell him the truth. It’s going to be one amazing video. We got Nathan Miller to direct and Ilian Sand, who is one of the most popular actors on TV right now to be your love interest!”

“Sounds amazing!” Bellamy yelped.

“Sounds familiar!” Raven grinned, nudging Clarke playfully.

Clarke sank in her spot, trying to make herself as small as possible. The other option was to murder Raven.

Lexa’s eyes were already on hers, clearly confused by the characteristic crease between her brows and above all, concerned. It was like the woman was so attuned to her mood that Lexa immediately noticed any change.

 

“We need to make a big debut, and this video will be your kickstart to be back to the top.” Marcus announced proudly.

“We expect you here tomorrow morning to prep everything and start filming.” Marcus spoke, checking his notebook. “External shots will be in Bronson Canyon and Griffith Park and then we're heading to the studio to film with the whole band. So I’ll see you tomorrow Clarke.”

“Thanks Marcus, I’ll handle it from here.” Bellamy concluded the video call. “You guys will get Clarke to the designated area.” Bellamy directed his instructions to the bodyguard team. “Her trailer will be on location first thing in the morning. You must have her there on time. Marcus emailed the schedule to Lexa already.”

Lexa offered a confirming nod.

“We’ll be there.” Lincoln guaranteed.

“Perfect, we’re all set. I’m going to location for prep work. Marcus is going to meet with Callie to finish the deal regarding a Vogue interview.”

“Callie as in his ex and mom’s BFF?” Clarke asked Bellamy.

Bellamy stood up from the couch, scratching his disheveled black curls “I uh I think that’s the one, but she’s really interested in getting this interview for her article.” Bellamy leaned in and kissed Clarke’s cheek. “I’m glad you’re really okay, Clarke. I was worried.”

“I know Bell, but don’t be an ass to our friends and the Trikru team. They are doing their best.”

“Fine just be ready for tomorrow. New waves of change are coming your way.” Bellamy signaled to the corner of her living room, “I left your new fanmail in that box so make sure to check it whenever you have time.”

“Thanks, Bell. I will.” Clarke said her goodbyes to Bell, Jasper and Monty.

 

“I’ll remain in the house guys reading the fanmail. Better take it easy today to get ready for the video. Again, sorry for the trouble of last night.” Clarke couldn’t look at Lexa’s face for too long, she felt awful just seeing the bruises on her face, especially at daylight which enhanced the black-purplish color of them. After all, it had been her fault.

“I’ll stay with Clarke to help her review the letters.” Raven announced. “Also we can check who are these guys too.”

“If you need anything let us know. We’ll be reviewing the schedule and preparing the best route for tomorrow.” Anya informed the girls.

“I’m thinking hamburgers for lunch, watcha say cheekbones? Wanna bet who can eat the triple burger?” Raven dared and of course Anya never backs down from a dare coming from the sound engineer.

“You know I’m game, Reyes.” Anya grinned, cracking her fingers with confidence.

“Write it up and I’ll get it for you, ladies.” Lincoln offered.

“Will do!” Raven gave a thumbs up to Lincoln before moving to the master bedroom with Clarke.

 

Clarke had noticed how tight those two had become. It wasn’t just her and Lexa, but the whole band had developed a special bond with the trio in suits.

Anya and Raven had a more sassy relationship, testing each other as much as they could. Pulling and pushing each other until they ran out of patience. On the other extreme of the scale, Lincoln and Octavia tended to connect through more meaningful conversations, learning from each other with patience and understanding. In between, were Lexa and Clarke. Always fighting that strange pull they felt towards each other, not finding how a way to interact without making it awkward or rude, knowing that there was a clear attraction that wasn’t unwelcomed by either. Yet they were on opposite sides of the fence, never meant to find each other.

This shoot was going to be physical and exhausting. Clarke had to be centered to do her best; so many things depended on the success of this song and video. She had to push her own desires away and find a way to just be with Lexa like their friends did.

“Just friends.” Clarke mumbled before she sat with Raven to check her fanmail.

 

///

 

The sun was high in the sky, the air felt hot, almost asphyxiating. Clarke could feel the perspiration forming on her back already, sticking to her t-shirt. She was relaxing in her trailer, reading the last group of letters from her fans. She opened the next one, a pink envelope without the sender’s information. Clarke frowned but took out the message nonetheless.

_“Our love is forever. I know it and I know you do too. Love xx”_

“What the fuck? Definitely a weirdo.”

Clarke didn’t give the message much thought and continued reading the rest of letters.

 

Not even 30 minutes have gone by when a knock on her door interrupted Clarke’s alone time.

She left the water bottle she was drinking and checked the door.

“You ready, Clarke?” Marcus asked.

“Wow, more or less, Kane. I just got here.”

“I know, but we got to go. Time to meet the crew and director so he can explain what you’ll do.”

Once she shut the door of her trailer, she was joined by Lexa and Anya, who abandoned their suit jackets and ties due to the intense heat today. Lincoln was to remain watching her trailer for any potential intrusion.

Clarke couldn’t avoid checking the opening of Lexa’s white shirt. She had left open the top buttons giving full view of her clavicle and a sneak peek at her cleavage.

Clarke had to squeeze her legs to relieve the slight throb of her most intimate area. Sweaty Lexa did a lot of things to her, and her imagination was doing pretty great filling out all the possibilities with that version of Lexa in her bed.

 

It wasn’t the time nor the place. Clarke had to remind herself.

Clarke moved closer to Marcus putting more distance between the two women who followed them from a respectful distance.

“Okay, here she is. Clarke, meet Miller your director and Ilian who will be your acting partner.” Marcus introduced the director to Clarke and the main actor.

“Nice meeting you. This video is going to be spectacular, Clarke.” The director who was a young, good looking black man, of medium height, smiled at Clarke while offering his hand.

“Hey, I’m a big fan of your music.” Ilian was a well built guy, with deep brown eyes and shoulder-length hair. He was of asian descent. The actor offered his hand to Clarke too. “Can’t wait to begin.”

“Thanks, me too!” Of course Clarke had barely time to watch TV, but she had seen on YouTube some stuff of the actor before she came here just to be prepared thanks to Raven.

“Very well, let me show you the scenes that we will film today and give you a general glimpse of what is going to happen in those scenes.” Nathan led Clarke to a small tent where they had several items scattered around, tables with papers and a board with several images on it.

 

Clarke listened to the information provided, nodding in understanding every minute or so. She would have to move a lot - running and climbing - and there was going to be a fight scene where she was going to save her love interest. Basically, Clarke’s character was the person in charge of protecting the client, an important businessman. On the job, they developed feelings for each other, but she had to lie and hide her feelings to keep him safe.

Nathan disclosed as many details as possible to engage the actors and musician into the roles they were going to play. It was going to be almost like a short film with the intent to blow their fans expectations out the roof.

“Sounds exciting. Hope it goes well.” Clarke offered a playful smile.

“Okay then, let’s begin. Everyone in position!” The director announced, and the staff started to finish arranging everything, moving the cameras, screens, microphones and all the equipment necessary to make the scene happen.

“Clarke, let’s get you to the makeup trailer.” Marcus pulled Clarke towards the next trailer to change into her wardrobe. “I’ll move ahead and continue working on deals for additional promotional appearances. Bell will be around for whatever you need.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Bellamy told me what happened.” Marcus said. “Look, if you need more time to relax, you let me know.  I’ll do my best to make an opening in your schedule, Clarke. However, you know that this time is crucial for your new image and musical return. You’ve got to endure this a bit longer, but the result will be what we all want for you.”

“I know.”

“Good. Now get in there and do your best.” Marcus smiled and gave a quick kiss on top of her head before leaving the trailer.

 

Once ready, Clarke was accompanied by Bellamy and her umbrella holder to the set. Today they were filming action shots. The location had a lot of rocks, some trees and shrubs.  The heat was suffocating, and the wind didn’t help much.

The makeup artist touching up Clarke’s makeup. Everything was mildly chaotic near her. However, with her peripheral vision she caught Lexa standing close and watching her.

“Thanks!” Clarke thanked the makeup artist before she walked away.

Lexa decided to approach Clarke now that she was just with the umbrella holder. Lexa stood at a good distance, her hands in her trouser pockets. Her sun-kissed skin was glinting with sweat, but that didn’t seem to affect the disciplined woman.

“Good luck out there, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa said.

“Thanks.”

“Be careful with the stunts.  If you don’t feel confident, let the professionals take care of it.” Lexa gave as quick advice, and with that she moved behind the cameras along with her partner.

Clarke couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on her face, because she knew that was Lexa’s way to show concern.

Clarke listened to all of the never-ending final checks before filming.  

“Picture’s up.”

“Roll sound.”

“Rolling!”

“Sound speeds.”

“Camera speeds.”

Slate and “mark.”

“Set.”

And finally - “ACTION!”

 

///

 

“Damn, Griffin. Looks painful.” Raven squatted to check Clarke’s ankle.

“No shit, Reyes.” Clarke whined.

“I mean, you're a champ for sucking it up and finishing the scene. You looked like a true action hero according to Bellamy.” Raven said as she began to help Clarke ease into her bed after helping her change into comfortable sleeping shorts and a baggy shirt. Raven quickly adjusted the pillows behind her back.

“You good?”

“Yup, as good as I can be.”

During the last scene of the day Clarke had to film a big fight. It wasn’t anything complicated really.  She was supposed to move over high terrain and throw some punches to protect her love interest, however, in the middle of the fight Ilian was kidnapped. That’s was Clarke’s cue to run and reach her mark. Her stunt double had to make a jump down the hill and catch the kidnappers so they could escape.

Clarke wanted to perform as many as her scenes as possible. While she was doing the practiced motions she stepped on a loose boulder while on the run and twisted her ankle. She ignored the pain and focused on her job until the director shouted _cut!_

“Alright, if you need anything else just text me. Here you go, Bellamy left this new box of fanmail so you might as well reply while you heal.”

“Thanks Rae.”

Raven left the medicines prescribed by Dr. Jackson, a glass of water and a small box containing the usual letters on the nightstand. After reading several kind messages, Clarke found another envelope without a sender. She opened it carefully and read the message.

_“This love cannot end. I love you and I know your songs are for me. When I sleep at night I dream of you and I see you clearly. Soon, we’ll meet for real my love xx”_

“Ooooookay, this is starting to get weird.” Clarke tossed the envelope back into the box of letters and messages from her fans.

 

She took the medicine before she closed her eyes hoping to drift to sleep. On the other hand that was going to be a difficult task when her body was hurting - muscles strained and tired by so much action. She’d be happy to lay down in a hot tub right now with a glass of wine, but her foot was swollen and she was in pain.

_KNOCK KNOCK_

“Ms. Griffin?” Lexa peeked through the door. “May I come in?”

“Are you here to tell me I told you so?” Clarke smiled, happy to see Lexa, joking a bit with the brunette letting her know with a nod it was okay to come inside.

Lexa entered the room and shut the door softly, walking towards the bed. “No. I know you’re stubborn, Clarke. In the end, you’ll choose your duty over anything or _anyone_ else.”

That made Clarke reminiscence about her dream when Lexa asked her if she’d choose her instead. The memory made her feel hollow.

“I did it for the fans. I can’t make a mediocre video, Lexa.” Clarke gave as a rebuttal and even though Lexa acted as cool as always she noticed the slight twitch of her jaw.

Clarke was in need to ask herself if she was being honest with Lexa and mostly with herself.

 

“Raven stopped by my room and Anya’s to update us on your status. I thought I could offer some help.”

“Oh, because you’re an expert in injuries?” Clarke darted her eyes to the purple bruise still etched on the fine jawline of the bodyguard.

That made Lexa smile. “No, that would be Anya. I know how to keep on my feet when in pain. You have more scenes to shoot and with your ankle like that you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

Clarke giggled softly, “You got that right, commander. What do you suggest then?”

Lexa moved to the edge of the bed. She opened the small pouch she was carrying when she came into the room. From there, Lexa pulled out an elastic bandage and anti-inflammatory cream.

“First, we need to keep this foot elevated.” Lexa positioned the extra pillows under Clarke's leg careful not to cause too much disturbance. “Second, this cream might help a bit along with the pills Dr. Jackson prescribed. He should be here tomorrow to check on you again.”

“Who needs Jackson when I have Alexandria Woods M.D. for myself?” Clarke teased.

Lexa chuckled, her green eyes locking with Clarke. “You’re the friend and reason Raven hacked our database?”

“No, that was Raven alone, not me. I swear.” Clarke stated seriously hoping Lexa wouldn’t get mad at her for Raven’s shenanigans.

“I believe you.” Lexa replied, her pretty shy smile on show. Clarke was visibly relieved.

“Anything else, Dr. Woods?”

“You should remain in bed.”

“I wouldn’t mind that with the right company.” Clarke’s innuendo didn’t fell onto deaf ears, as Lexa’s regal cheekbones flushed with a pretty pink color.

Lexa cleared her throat and straightened her spine. “Third, we need to compress the ankle to control the swelling.” Lexa began applying a bit of the anti-inflammatory cream on the most swollen areas before she wrapped the foot with the bandages, securing them tightly.

 

“Since you’ll have breakfast with that boring actor tomorrow, I’ll re-wrap your ankle after Dr. Jackson checks on you, just text me before you leave. I’d suggest to cancel it and rest as much as possible, but I know you won’t do that. So please, wear sandals at least.”

Clarke burst in laughter, “Boring actor? Not just a doctor but a TV critic now? You’re full of surprises Woods.”

Lexa shrugged and displayed a cocky smirk that did things to Clarke. “Carrying one facial expression isn’t acting, Clarke. Besides, his romances on screen are very dull and too straight for my taste.”

“And your sense of humor comes out and play after eons of dealing with your broody ass. Is that why you keep those books of yours? Because TV is too heteronormative?”

“Yes, literature can at least fulfill my lesbian agenda.”

Clarke cackled in laughter. The laughter died pretty soon due to her pain. “Ow, not a good idea to be as funny today Lexa.”

“Okay, as you wish.” Lexa offered another smile, one that definitely made her heart somersault.

Yes, this friendship thing definitely was better than nothing at all. At least, Clarke could see this special side of Lexa. That one reserved for the people she held close to her heart.

 

Lexa disappeared a moment to get ice. After she returned she went to the bathroom quickly and took some towels. “This will keep the ice at the right temperature. Leave it there for 15 minutes.”

“Ugh, fuck. I feel like I was hit by a train.” Clarke complained while she moved to change her position in the bed.

“Are you in pain?”

“Not really, my muscles are very sore though.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes, pensive for a couple of minutes. “A massage will help to ease the pain a bit. May I?” Lexa asked.

“Uuh sure.”

“I will compress your calves and quads a bit to warm the muscles. Then I will knead the sore muscles which might be a little painful and when I’m done I’ll stretch them. If it hurts too much, you let me know though.”

“Oh, alright.”

 

Lexa added more illumination to the bedroom before grabbing the body cream. Lexa scooted on top of the mattress to be able to reach Clarke’s legs. The brunette squeezed the tube over her skin and soon Lexa’s hands were rubbing it on her good leg. She began applying pressure with the heel of her palm, holding the leg in a steady position while she worked the muscles underneath her hands.

“Aah!” Clarke almost jumped. It felt so damn good. “Oh gooood, that feels amazing.”

Lexa kept her hands squeezing the muscles, and massaging right above her knees, up to her quadriceps, never beyond. Which was a shame because Clarke suspected those hands could work miracles above the safe zone.

“Mmmm, gosh.” Clarke closed her eyes and relaxed under Lexa’s touch. “Fuck, Lexa!”

 

“Hold on a bit longer.” Lexa began stretching Clarke’s muscles slowly, the little burn making the blood flow into the muscles easing the pain.

“Ugh, damn. Lexa, is there something you’re not good at?”

Lexa let go of Clarke’s legs to her disappointment. Lexa moved away to pick up her stuff scattered on the other side of the mattress. “Actually, I can’t sing for dear life.”

“Yeah? Maybe you can teach me some of your ninja moves, and I can give you singing classes.”

“Sounds like a deal. I ‘ll leave you now to rest.”

“Thanks, Lexa.”

Lexa left with a little smile and that made the pain lessen ten times more.

 

///

 

“Alright, keep the touches soft and sexy, Ilian.” Nathan instructed. “Clarke, I need you to show me more struggle.  He wants to return your affections, but you can’t give in!”

Today’s scenes were very romantic. Clarke was supposed to be having a moment of intimacy with the man she loved. Yet she couldn’t let herself love him.

They were in the old zoo picnic area of Griffith Park. They had been filming all morning and were about to finish after hours under the sun.

“Right before he kisses you, move the cheek to the side and look directly at the camera. You can’t let him know. Not now, not ever.”

Clarke followed the instructions once the director explained what he wanted. Clarke tried to concentrate on pouring these mixed emotions into her performance, which wasn’t hard at all considering her current situation.

The scene was full of emotion. The caresses and the soft touches they shared made it look so real, as if they were struggling to let their love free.

“Aaaaaand CUT!” Nathan removed his headphones and clapped. “Come and look at this on the monitors. I love it!”

Clarke walked slowly to the monitor discreetly trying to put as much weight on the other foot as possible.

She watched the playbook, and she had to admit that it did look really good. She can only hope the final product was exciting for the fans.

“Tomorrow the band will perform to finish this video. Thank you everyone for your hard work today!” Nathan bid farewell.

 

“Clarke!” Bellamy joined Clarke. “Now you’re going back with your security team to your beach house. Tomorrow you’ll meet me with the band at the studio for the final day of filming. I already took your Fender from your bedroom so don’t worry about anything.”

“Okay, thanks Bell.”

Clarke headed to her trailer in the company of Anya and Lincoln. She noticed that Lexa disappeared from the location as she started to film with Ilian. She wondered why Lexa disappeared. Lincoln always remained behind as the main backup, not Lexa.

“Ahm, where’s Lexa? I didn’t see her around during filming.” Clarke asked her current companions.

“She switched with Lincoln. We’ll see her in your trailer.” Anya said and after a brief pause she added. “Linc, could you go to the SUV and get it ready for Ms. Griffin?”

“Sure, just radio me if there is a change of plans.”

 

Anya waited until Lincoln was gone to address Clarke. “Don’t make this difficult for her, Clarke. Don’t give Lexa hope.”

Clarke furrowed her brows and looked straight at Anya who dropped the formalities, which meant this was very personal to her. That made sense of course, Anya was Lexa’s best friend.

“We’re friends, Anya. There’s nothing wrong with that. You too think that’s weakness?”

Anya huffed, rolling her eyes. “I think you’re naive if you believe that nonsense of being friends. You two are too involved already, cut it out before it’s too late.”

“I care about her, Anya. I know I’m not your favorite person ever, but trust me on that.”

“You got that right, blondie. I don’t like you and much less trust you. Lexa isn’t a toy for your boredom. You hurt her, and I will come for you.”

Clarke had to admit that Anya was intimidating, but she wasn’t going to recoil just because the dirty blonde bodyguard was ready to pounce on her.

“I’d never hurt Lexa. Not on purpose. I promise this is not a game to me, and Lexa is an adult. She can make her own choices.” Clarke faced Anya with determination. “However, we decided to be just friends, Anya. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Friends? And what do you expect to get out of this huh? Is that what you want from her? Just friends? Or you rather get out some benefits?”

Clarke was going to open her mouth but they reached the trailer, where Lexa waited patiently, ending their short, stressful conversation. Thankfully.

 

“Take your time.” Lexa said whilst opening the door for her. “We’ll wait as long as you need, Ms. Griffin.”

“Thank you.”

Clarke entered her trailer with deep thoughts in her mind. Anya was clearly concerned for Lexa, which she totally gets if they were entangling in a messy fling, but they weren’t. They’ve been together for half a year, spending so much time together but not really together. She barely knew the real Lexa, because she was so guarded all the time. The few bits of information Clarke had learned from the brunette made it valuable and important for her, but she wasn’t ready to give her heart to anyone. Not yet.

She was highly attracted to her. She liked Lexa a lot. Clarke enjoyed Lexa’s company so much and being with the woman would be the cherry on top, and yet, Clarke felt this was important, too important to mess up.

It has been so long since she trusted in someone to love, and Lexa had been such a powerful presence since day 1 that Clarke had been instantly attracted to her. Lexa was an enigma, an interesting puzzle that she had been solving bit by bit as they got to know each other during the tour. Lexa could see Clarke and read her without a need for words, just by looking at her.  Clarke could do the same. Yet, she didn’t fear Lexa. Clarke knew that Lexa would never hurt her.

She cared for the woman, respected and admired her - the reason why she had to deal with these crazy emotions and maintain the established dynamic they agreed to follow.

 

Pushing those thoughts aside, Clarke began changing into comfortable clothes after an intense day of filming. Once she was changed she remained barefoot, limping a bit to avoid putting too much pressure on her thankfully less swollen foot. She grabbed a bottle of water and a tray of mixed fruits from the fridge and sat to eat checking her text messages and answering them swiftly now that she had some free time.

The musician now satisfied, moved to the table where she had her backpack and pulled out her songbook. She was almost done writing the new material. The last half of her album was going to be finished after touring so she still had time to write some more. But Clarke wanted to have multiple drafts of several songs written so she could choose the songs that fit the theme and feel of the rest of the album.  She wanted songs that put her in touch with her real self, not the Wanheda image.

Her book was filled with little sketches and lots of drafts. However, as she turned the pages, she noticed that she had been sketching familiar eyes, the contour of a strong profile and familiar hands.

“Of course I sketched her.” Clarke face-palmed. She better keep this songbook safe because if someone found it, it would basically reveal the deepest secrets of her heart.

 

“Drop it, An!”

Blue eyes darted up towards the angry outburst coming from outside her trailer. She pulled apart the blinds from the small window and spotted Anya and Lexa having a heated discussion by the looks of it. Both women were scowling, hands balled into fists and lots of rough shoving.

Worrying for them both, Clarke grabbed her things quickly, sliding on her sandals before she exited her trailer.

She cautiously approached the two women arguing under the shadow of a big tree. They were so immersed in their argument that they didn’t notice Clarke coming closer.

“Oh please Lexa. She’s not yours to begin with.”

“I know, but I couldn’t stand it, okay? So let it be. I get it’s all fake Anya. I fucking know!”

“Then what are you going to do next time? Because there will be a next time, Lexa. You’re going to disappear like today?” Anya arched her brow daring Lexa to deny her accusations.

Lexa shook her head, sliding a hand over her face. “No and I already shadowed her before without any issues. I- I just needed space today, and Linc agreed to switch. No harm done.”

“Yeah, yeah. Until one day your mistakes cost our lives. Can’t wait for Luna to be here with us instead!”

“My mistakes!?” Lexa clenched her fists and took a step closer to Anya. “I did what I had to do in that bar, I’m the one who’s-”

 

“Hey!” Clarke interrupted because she wasn’t sure if these two were about to beat the crap out of each other. “Aaah, sorry to interrupt, but I’m ready to go home.”

“Lead the way, Ms. Griffin.” Anya said in a mocking tone, glaring at Clarke with so much bitterness that there was no doubt of the way Anya felt about her.

Lexa just swallowed her anger and walked ahead, her jaw set, and by the way she kept her hands into fists, she knew Lexa was seething in anger too.

 

///

 

A couple of hours later her house was back to the calmness that she preferred. Clarke was writing on her balcony, enjoying the sunset and the fresh breeze from the sea when she noticed that Anya headed into the beach for a run, exiting through the back door. Clarke decided it would be best if she spoke with Lexa now that Anya was gone. That way she wouldn’t add more gasoline to that fire between the best friends.

Clarke abandoned her songbook on her desk, along the rest of fanmail she had to check and spotted Lexa sitting at the edge of the pool, her pants rolled up to her knees while her feet were in the refreshing water, deep in thought.

 

Clarke headed to her backyard, the chilly tiles on her living room making her shiver until she reached the sliding door splitting the living room and backyard to reach the pool area. At the sound of the door opening, Lexa lifted her gaze. The green pools meeting her instantly.

“Hey you.”

“Hello, Clarke.” Lexa returned her attention to the water.

“Glad you decided to stop fighting me on the first name thing.”

Lexa grinned with that ridiculous sexy smirk, and Clarke was a goner.

“Where’s Linc?”

“He went out to buy pizza with Raven. Anya went out for a run.” Lexa eyed her again. “Do you need anything?”

“Actually, I’d like to talk to you if that’s okay?”

“You’re the boss, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa patted the empty space by her side in offering.

Clarke smiled shaking her head. “You know what I mean. Don’t wanna impose.”

“Please, sit.” Lexa smiled.

 

Clarke sat nearby Lexa, sinking her feet into the pool as well. “I uh, I’m sorry you argued with Anya because of me. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation earlier.”  
Lexa chuckled, “I’m the one who’s sorry. That was unprofessional on my part. You have no fault in it. So please, stop apologizing for things you haven’t done.”

“I still feel bad about it. I don’t want you to be at odds with your best friend and compromise your work environment.”

“I know that you worry for everyone, Clarke. But I assure you that I’ll speak with Anya when she cools down. We both needed some time away from each other, but she gets me as much as I get her. We’ll be fine.” After a pause, Lexa expanded. “Titus, um, my foster father, he was very busy and hired Anya as my nanny. She’s been with me since forever and sometimes she gets in her motherly mode. I’m thankful for her, always will be, but I just wish she trusted my decisions. She says she does, but I know she wants to step in and smack some sense into me. You have nothing to worry about us, I promise.”

“Okay, good to hear. Raven can be also a bit tempered sometimes, still love her though.”

 

Clarke turned to see Lexa’s beautiful profile, her eyes focusing on the bruise on her jawline, and she couldn’t resist to trace it. “Does it hurt?”

Lexa let out a shaky breath, while her green eyes darkened a bit, her eyes moving to her lips before she snapped out of it and returned her attention to the pool. “No, not anymore. How’s your ankle?”

“Better. Thanks for your help.” Clarke let go right away, not intending to make Lexa uncomfortable. She lowered her gaze to her hands resting in her lap, feeling awkward and insecure of how to proceed with Lexa.

Always worrying about maintaining the status quo without crossing any established boundaries. She felt like she was walking on eggshells with the bodyguard, and she hated every minute of it.

 

“Do you-”

“Who’s Lu-”

Both said in unison causing laughter between them.

“Okay um, you first.” Lexa said.

“Who’s Luna? I think Anya mentioned that name.”

Lexa’s face immediately morphed into something more familiar to Clarke - Lexa furrowed her brow and avoided her gaze. Before speaking Lexa cleared her throat. “She’s from Trikru Security. Backup for the tour.”

Clarke tilted her head, not sure why they would need another security member when they were just about to conclude the tour in about 3 more months. She was more than fine with the dynamic Anya, Lincoln and Lexa had developed with her staff.

“Is it because of Bellamy? Because he can be a prick sometimes.”

“No, not at all. I ah, I think it’s better for your safety.”

Of course Lexa would focus on her job. Clarke knew that’s the kind of woman Lexa was, committed to the cause.

Since Lexa didn’t expand more, Clarke moved on. “Okay, what was your question?”

 

“Do you really think we can be friends?”

Clarke rested her hand over the one Lexa had laying on the edge of the pool. “In all honesty?”

Lexa gave a shallow nod, accepting Clarke’s gesture. She laced her fingers with the blonde.

This was the moment Clarke needed, a moment to be fully honest not just with Lexa but with herself, so Clarke would open up her heart and bare it for Lexa to see it.

“I don’t want to be just friends with you, Lexa. I think I made myself clear the other day.”

“Clarke-”

“I know, I know, Lexa. Your duty comes first but what we feel…” Clarke tapped Lexa’s chest right above her heart and next she pointed at her own. “It’s real.”

“Clarke, someday you’ll find someone with whom you can share those feelings. Someone worthy of you, who cares and offers you everything you deserve. I’m not that person. I’m just a security girl.  Once I am done here you’ll forget about me.”

“Lexa, you’re not just a bodyguard to me. I have told you things that not even Raven or Wells know. I do consider you a good friend, an amazing one. A friend that I hold very dear and care about. I just wish we could explore what I know we both feel.”

“And I do care about you too, Clarke. This is why I can’t risk you!”

“It wouldn’t be a risk if I’m consenting to it Lexa!”

“So we have sex and then what!? We ignore each other? We try to keep being friends? I turn into the next Niylah!?” Lexa argued.

“Niylah? Do you think this is what I do? Fuck people up for fun and then leave them behind?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you think that, Lexa. Fuck!” Clarke sighed with frustration, the tension between them escalated quickly. Clarke knew that if she kept pushing she would end up distancing herself more from Lexa.

 

“I don’t wanna fight.”

“I don’t want to either, but you’re stubborn as hell, Clarke.”

Clarke giggled, “Yeah, we both are too hard-headed, but I don’t want to lose what we have, whatever this is. I won’t insist for you to break your sacred bodyguard oath, and we will remain friends.”

“Mockery is not-”

“The product of a strong mind. Yeah, I remember that lesson, commander.”

Lexa’s lips blossomed in a beautiful tight-lip smile before she sighed. “I didn’t mean to imply you’re a player. I know you care for Niylah, Clarke. You’re a good person. Otherwise, your fans wouldn’t love Wanheda.”

And that was the problem, Clarke realized. “If I wasn’t Wanheda, would you consider going out with me?”

Lexa smiled shyly at the blonde, “I’d be a blabbering disaster trying to ask you out and probably fail while doing so.” Lexa let out a long sigh. “Sadly, our lives converged in a moment in time where it wasn’t meant to be, Clarke.”

Clarke laughed, “Jesus, Lexa. What kind of angsty books are you reading? You could have so much game if you weren’t such a dramatic hoe.”

Lexa laughed heartily and that sound filled Clarke’s ears with happiness. “My book choices are pretty great, thank you very much.”

“Okay, Woods if you say so.” Clarke smiled softly after a pause. “To answer your original question. We _are_ friends, Lexa. I don’t think we can be, because we already are.”

After their laughter died they remained in a comfortable silence, not challenging each other, but simply accepting that this is what they could have.

 

Yes, they could work just fine as friends, but Clarke knew in the deepest part of her soul that they could be something more. This connection she shared with Lexa was definitely unique and special. However, Clarke was going to respect Lexa’s decision and not take it a step further.

For now she’d focus on showing Lexa that this desire and what they felt wasn’t a weakness. To make Lexa smile and ease her fears. Gosh, she was a sucker for that smile of hers. A total fool.

Clarke suspected that this was way more than just lust and simple attraction, but she wasn’t ready to acknowledge those uncertain feelings. She was more comfortable letting her desires take the reins and not delve deep in the meaning of it all.

 

“I’m going to shower and set the table before Linc and Raven return with the food; if you need anything else let me know, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa stood up and offered her hands for Clarke to hoist her back on her feet.

“Thanks, Lexa and uh, I’ll see you later.”

Lexa smiled and nodded before retreating back inside.

Clarke watched bedazzled as Lexa returned inside her home in awe. She loved the forest green eyes that Lexa possessed and that reserved smile that made her heart skip a beat. She loved every little thing that made Lexa who she was.

It was a scary and exhilarating feeling. And she was still far from ready to face it.

_Not yet._

Clarke would take it one step at a time. To try and see where this could take them in the future.

_A future?_

Damn, Clarke had it bad. Raven was right. She was drowning in Lexa, and that was fine by her.

For now, she would try her darn best to be the friend Lexa needed.

She had plenty of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are hopefully getting back to the usual update schedule. Thanks for your patience and support!


	12. Chapter 12

She didn’t have time.

She was going to leave sooner than the end of the tour without Clarke’s knowledge, and it was already causing Lexa major anxiety, but she knew she was doing the right thing. Luna would take good care of Clarke. At least Lexa knew she was going to leave Clarke in good hands.

Lexa understood that first she had a duty.  She owed Clarke security and protection and that’s what she’d do until her last day on tour with her. But that didn’t stop her heart from wanting the rock star, from loving her from afar. She was done fighting with herself over the truth. Lexa had come to a point of acceptance of her feelings for Clarke.

She was in love with the singer, with her smile and kindness, with her strength and selflessness. Clarke was a kind soul, and Lexa was at her mercy.

That didn’t mean that she was going to be reckless and let her own personal desires interfere with her job.

And Clarke? Clarke admitted to her the last time they spent some time alone that she had feelings for her. That whatever they felt for each other was real. But how real? Real enough to have a quick dalliance or everlasting, like Lexa foolishly hoped? The answer didn’t matter really. After all, Lexa was just a vassal to a queen, and queens don’t marry commoners.

 _Love is weakness, and distractions get people killed._ Lexa recited the mantra in her mind.

 

Lexa splashed more water on her face before drying it already tired of being trapped in her own thoughts. She eyed the pink scar she had left after the stitches were removed from her forehead, touching it lightly with her fingertips. The skin felt slightly tender to the touch, but there was no pain which was good. The bruises were practically gone. She was feeling strong and renewed in her determination to leave Clarke Griffin unscathed. No matter what they actually felt for each other Lexa knew leaving was the right thing to do.

She walked to the small desk in her room and checked her tablet to review the upcoming commitments of her asset.

“Fan signing today at the mall, Vogue interview and photoshoot on Thursday before the launch party on Friday. Next week Clarke resumes her concerts in LA.” Lexa tapped the calendar and read the upcoming concerts and cities where their mark would be in the next months to conclude her nationwide tour.

_Los Angeles - 3 days_

_Inglewood - 2 days_

_San Diego - 1 day_

_Las Vegas - 3 days_

_San Francisco - 1 day_

_Sacramento - 1 day_

Lexa closed the calendar and left the tablet back on the desk. She really didn’t need to know the rest because she would be gone by then. Anya would be in charge, and she would be back in Polis awaiting a new client.

 

She opened her closet and pulled out her suit for the day. The blue suit was already pressed. She tucked the white shirt in her pants before putting on the jacket. She fixed the buttons on her shirt before selecting a matching tie, tying it with expertise. Lexa made sure to check the condition of her weapons before stashing them in her holster and walked outside to meet the musician.

Things have been pretty good with Clarke, returning to a semi-comfortable relationship of respect and professionalism. The tension between them was still there; nonetheless, they were both trying to remain on good terms and not risk this so-called friendship they had.

Clarke wasn’t ready to be with anyone. She was committed to her fans and music, and Lexa understood that.

For her fans. For her friends. For her career.

It was always Clarke giving herself to them, and Lexa was an idiot for harvesting hope that one day Clarke would do it for her. That she would choose her instead.

Could Lexa accept being just a fling? Another notch in the musician’s history of romances? Would friendship be enough? What was she looking for with Clarke?

All of these questions were making Lexa doubt her resolve about walking away from Clarke. To be selfish for once in her life and just go for it and find out no matter how uncertain she was. To take a leap of faith.

The thing was if Clarke would catch her in the end?

 

She shut the door behind her and walked downstairs finding the living room filled with flowers.

“Woah, what is this?” Lexa asked her two partners who were already waiting for Clarke along Raven and the band members to head to the autograph signing.

“Some fan send them apparently. Arrived an hour ago.” Raven informed.

“A fan? To this address?” Lexa didn’t like this at all. She knew that the fanmail was always sent to Arkadia Group offices where Bellamy packed them and brought them to Clarke. No gifts or letters were sent to the personal addresses of her client. Ever.

“Get ready the SUV, Linc.” Lexa said to her partner who was talking with Octavia.

“Roger.”

“Raven, could you check on Ms. Griffin and remind her that we need to leave soon.” Lexa opted to avoid involving herself with Clarke anymore than necessary, so sending Raven was the best way to maintain her distance.

“Okie dokie, commander. Griffin must be struggling with her leather pants. She loves to use them because her ass looks tight as fuck, but she fights to put them on all the time.” Raven commented moving up the stairs slowly.

Lexa pinched her nose. She really didn’t need that information. She knew by now that Clarke’s ass looked really good in those pants. No wonder her fans shouted like crazy whenever they had the rock star on stage wearing them.

“Anya, lead Octavia, Monroe and Harper to the car. I’ll wait for Ms. Griffin.”

Anya simply gave her a nod and signaled the three girls to follow her.

 

After waiting for around 10 more minutes Clarke finally made her appearance.

“Sorry for the delay, I’m ready now.” Clarke was coming downstairs, and Raven was damn right. Those leather pants looked unbelievable on Clarke. She was wearing a shirt that read ‘Female Empowerment.’ She wore very simple makeup and her hair was loose, the blonde and pink curls moving freely around her shoulders.

“What’s all this? Sponsors?” Clarke asked looking at the flowers with marvel. The carnations and alstroemerias made a beautiful combination, and the smell was very delicate.

“There must be a card somewhere.” Anya said nonchalantly at the front door waiting for Clarke.

The singer looked around one of the flower arrangements and picked up the small card. While she read Lexa observed how her face started to drain of color until she was pale as a ghost.

“What’s wrong?” Lexa approached and took the card seeing the unresponsive musician.

_“My beloved, we belong together. Tonight I’ll show you. Does the Skybox sounds right? I know you like their burgers. Good luck at the autograph session, love xx”_

“What is this? Clarke, do you have any idea who is this admirer?”

“I’ve been getting some weird fanmail without a sender for some time. I uh, I didn’t give it much importance, but I think it’s the same person.”

“What? And you only telling me of this situation now!? I cannot do my job right if you keep me in the dark!!”

“I didn’t think it was important, Lexa!”

“Stalkerish and obsessed fans are dangerous. This person swears you’ll go out with them tonight. They know information about your preferences and is clearly up to date with your activities.” Lexa raked her fingers through her hair taking a deep breath, it wouldn’t do anyone any good for her to be furious with Clarke when the one at fault was this stalker. “Do you still have those old letters?”

“I left them in my room.”

“Anya could you collect them? Get them ready for analysis. Tell Bellamy to get rid of all fanmail that doesn’t have a return address and inappropriate content.” Lexa ordered. Next she returned her attention to Clarke. “I know that your fanmail is very personal to you, but for security reasons I cannot let you get your hands on it before someone makes sure the content is from an actual fan. Every letter and package will be reviewed by your staff and then delivered to you from now on.”

“Alright.” Clarke answered disheartened.

 

Lexa knew that the connection between Wanheda and her fans was special, knowing how Clarke tended to be - giving herself to them without a worry in the world - made her wary. “Ms. Griffin, please follow the security guidelines today.”

“Lexa come on, you know that-”

“I understand you’ll want to interact close and personal with your fans, but I need you to take this seriously. Whoever is sending these messages is watching you. This person is fixated and will develop crazy fantasies in their head. They could try to hurt you, too. Don’t put yourself in unnecessary danger.” Lexa begged.

Clarke loved her fans too much. She was capable of ignoring the security measures just to interact with them, but this could turn out into a disaster if they weren’t careful. “Promise me you'll follow our protocol.” Lexa walked closer to Clarke, her viridian eyes locking with Clarke’s to ensure she knew how serious this was.

“Fine.”

“Clarke?” Lexa perked her brow.

Clarke nodded, “I promise, Lexa.”

“Okay, let’s get going.”

 

///

 

“According to Monty’s report, the mall is full - way more people than expected.” Raven said checking her phone for more information. “I’m scrolling through my timeline and some people have posted some pictures.  Damn, it’s crammed in there.”

“Better avoid using the main entrance, can we get into the cargo area?” Anya asked Lincoln.

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem, just let Bellamy know.”

Raven sent a text to Bellamy informing him of the slight change of plans.

Lincoln drove the van to the cargo area where they could drop their asset safely.

Lexa and Anya were out of the car as soon as Lincoln parked, and waited for the girls to follow. “Remember, remain inside the designated area at all times.” Lexa told the group.

“We’ll meet Bellamy in the back of the music store.” Anya added before the group started to move.

 

The band and Clarke moved through the convoluted halls until they found the door leading to the music store where Wanheda would be signing autographs today.

Raven guided them like an expert, so they didn’t get lost on their way.

“Hey Bell, we’re here.” Raven greeted the assistant manager.

“Perfect, outside we already have the fans lined up waiting for you girls. Once the host makes your introduction, you will walk in order and sit at the chair directly behind the sign on the table with your name. Remember to sign quickly because we have a long line with around 100 fans.” Bellamy explained.

While the assistant manager discussed the strategy with the artist and the band, Lexa met her team.

“Lincoln, I need you walking the floor of the store and continuously check for any strange behavior. Anya and I will remain behind Clarke at all times during the signature session.” Lexa continued. “Keep the commlink open and if there is an emergency the priority is Clarke. We take her out through the back door following the practiced protocol. Questions?

“All clear.” Lincoln adjusted his suit jacket and checked his equipment.

“Lead on.” Anya moved to the door waiting her turn.

Lexa returned to where Bellamy was talking with Clarke and the band.

“After the signing, you’ll be interviewed by the press. Make sure to be on your best behavior and promote the single coming out this Friday.”

 

Bellamy went to chat with the host store of the event while the band was getting ready. All of the girls were relaxed and very happy to be there.

Lexa moved to her position at the back of the line while Anya was at the front waiting for Bellamy to give them the signal to start moving.

“Thank you all for being here. As promised to all fans who participated in the contest, we have the person here that you’ve been waiting for!”

The shouts became louder as the host kept pumping up the crowd for Clarke’s appearance.

“Okay, let’s go!” Bellamy opened the door as the host started to name some of Wanheda’s songs. As soon as the door opened, the shouts and rounds of applause hit an unbelievable level.  Anya lead the band members to their positions at the table.

“Let’s give it up for Wanheda!!!” The host announced, and Lexa thought her eardrums were going to pop at the sound, especially since the fans’ screams echoed in the small corridor.

Lexa walked closely behind Clarke her eyes rapidly moving to the wave of flashes pointing at her client searching for any kind of danger.

“Hey guys!” Clarke waved to everyone who was in the line before she took her seat at the long table. The photography and filming never ceased.

 

Immediately the line of fans started to approach through the security crowd control barriers established by the store to move the fans in an arranged manner and avoid chaos and the signing began.

Lexa was amazed by how some fans reacted. Some were crying and Clarke kindly hugged them, giving them reassuring words to make them feel good. Other fans were shaking so much that when they went for a quick selfie their hands shook and Clarke helped them holding their phones for them.

Lexa was simply impressed. Wanheda meant so much to these boys and girls that waited for who knows how long just to spend a moment with her.

Clarke paid attention to all the kind messages she received and interacted with her whole heart with every single person that walked in front of her. She laughed, she teared up, she was attuned to her fanbase and this was the one of the many reasons why Lexa liked Clarke. Clarke might not realize it, but she always shared a piece of herself, not of Wanheda but of Clarke with her fans. Clarke had so much love to give, and she gave it freely to every person in this room waiting to see her, making the day special for each one of her fans.

Lexa curved her lips simply as she observed the magical interactions between the fans and Wanheda.

 

Lexa was in love with a fantastic girl. There was no other way to describe how she felt for her client. She was smitten, attuned to every smile, to every laugh and expression coming from Clarke.

The way Clarke held the hands of the nervous fans made Lexa envious, because Clarke centered her attention solely on those fans. There was nothing else but Clarke and her fans, and Lexa irrationally felt left out.

She wanted to be the center of Clarke’s world, but she knew she had to remain where she was, a nonexistent figure to keep her safe.

These moments are what she could take away from her time here, the memories of seeing Clarke blissful with her fans doing what she loved the most.

 

///

 

The signing went longer than expected due to Clarke taking time to talk with her fans. Clarke and the girls were exhausted, but nothing could erase the smile on their faces.

Outside the store there were more people wanting to catch a glimpse of the famous artist, the shouts and chanting of the musician’s name were nonstop.

Lincoln along with the mall security had made sure to empty the store to get ready for the press line now. They need to stick to a schedule, and they had to make up for lost time.

 

“How are you holding up?” Lexa approached Clarke who was drinking from a water bottle while she waited for the press interviews.

“I’m overwhelmed with the gifts and all the little things the fans gave me today. Don’t worry, I gave everything to Raven for review like you asked. Still, I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

Clarke had received so many gifts that Raven had to find a big box to stash all of them which included letters. Clarke could read them later in a more private place after a security check. “They stan the right woman.” Lexa smiled confident in her words.

“I’m just thankful for having them. They make this work worth it. These interactions fill me with joy. With the press, it is different. They are hunting for scoop, private things about my life. But the fans open up and share their struggles and dreams. I want them to feel safe and cared for. That they matter to _me_.” Clarke answered.

“I can see that.” Lexa quipped making Clarke giggle, and Lexa loved to see Clarke happy. “You’re a role model for many, an important figure in the lives of your fans. You’re amazing Clarke and deserving of every bit of recognition you get.”

Clarke finished the water bottle and tossed it in the nearby bin. “They love Wanheda. I’m not sure if I’m that good for them, but at least Wanheda is enough.”

Right before Lexa could refute such thoughts Bellamy came to meet his artist.

“Okay, let’s get to your place. I have left just your chair at the main table to engage with the journalists.”

Without more time to talk Lexa moved to her position behind the table. She pulled Clarke’s chair out for her.

“Thanks.”

Lexa gave her a nod and took a couple of steps back to remain in the background while Bellamy started to arrange the members of the press in front of the table.

 

As soon as everyone was ready, Clarke thanked the press for being here and immediately the q&a session began.

“Wanheda, how are you feeling regarding your new single? How do you think it will fare versus your previous works?” A redhead asked.

Clarke pulled the microphone closer. “I’m optimistic. This song is very special to me. I wrote it with thoughts of love and hope so I think fans will like the more vibrant sound.”

Another man raised his hand. “Rumors talk about the huge chemistry between you and actor Ilian Sand while filming your video. How was working with him?”

“Yeah, we had a good connection, and he was very helpful. I’m a singer not an actor so his advice brought out the best of me.  It was fantastic.”

If Lexa felt an acrid sensation in the pit of her stomach, no one would have noticed. Just thinking how close Clarke and Ilian worked together made Lexa feel sick. Of course, people were going to gossip about it because their chemistry was undeniable, and Lexa hated that. She made a mistake last time, allowing her personal feelings to interfere with her work. That couldn’t happen again.

Lexa let out a deep breath and tried to focus on her work of scanning the crowd rather than reminiscence about the video clip.

 

///

 

The questions continued for a few more minutes until everyone was satisfied.

Bellamy escorted the press out, and the team was ready to return to the singer’s vacation home. Except that Lexa knew that look on Clarke’s face.

“Clarke, no.” Lexa crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Lexa, come on. Let me say hello at least.”

“Clarke, there are more than 200 people chanting your name. What do you think will happen if you go outside this store? There’s a crazy fan stalking you. I’m not going to put you in more danger than necessary.”

Clarke pouted and batted her eyelashes. “Lexa, I cannot be afraid. I will follow your instructions, but let me see the fans outside. They have been out there for hours, and it wouldn’t be nice of me to ignore them.”

Lexa was weak. How could she say no to those pretty blue eyes and pouty lips? This was all Clarke Griffin, the giver. Not Wanheda, the rock star. Lexa hoped Clarke could see that she was the one who made the fans love Wanheda, not the other way around. Without Clarke’s heart, Wanheda would be nothing

“Fine, we’ll stay for only a couple of minutes though. Whatever you do, do it quick.” Lexa pressed her commlink. “Grounders on standby, Wanheda will meet her fans outside.”

“Thanks, Lexa!” Clarke quickly leaned in and kissed Lexa’s cheek catching her by surprise. The blonde went skipping happily to the front door waiting for the security team to escort her.

 

Anya rested her hand on Lexa’s shoulders shaking her head. “Really? She just pouts and you yield? There could be a psycho out there. Why are you allowing such a risk?”

“I won’t let anyone hurt her, Anya. If she wants to meet her fans, then we’ll follow and do our job right. I don’t care if there’s an obsessed freak out there, Clarke is right. She shouldn’t be cowering in a corner because of a delusional fan.”

“You call the shots after all, Commander.”

“Yes, I do and I’d appreciate if you stopped questioning my every decision, An!”

Anya sighed, “I worry for you, Lex.”

“Well don’t! Luna will be here soon enough which should be a relief for you.”

“I ah, shit Lexa. I shouldn’t have said what I said last time. I was angry and let my anger fuel my words. I know you won’t allow anyone to hurt Clarke and much less put the team at risk. I’m sorry, squid.”

“I know you care about me, Anya but please, trust in my leadership. I’m not going to fail. Not Clarke and not my team.”

“I worry about Lexa, not the Commander. The adoration in your eyes when you look at Clarke concerns me. It tore me apart when you cried your heart out for weeks when that damn girl broke your heart, and I’m afraid it will happen again.”

“I’m not 14 anymore, An. I can deal with another heartbreak if it comes to it. I’m thankful for you being there for me, but I’m not that kid anymore.”

Anya huffed, her lips curving in an easy smile. “Yeah, I know. I also know that when you love you give your all. You love too damn much squid, and I know that’s how you love Clarke.”

Lexa gazed at Anya surprised, her eyebrows up to her hairline.

“You’re not that subtle, Lex. You love her too much, and that’s why I’m afraid. You gave her your heart without asking anything in return, and Clarke has the power to smash it into pieces. That’s dangerous.”

“Nothing is going to happen between us, Anya. I won’t ever put Clarke at risk because of my feelings for her. You know my duty comes first.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re not suffering in silence.” Anya rested her hand on Lexa’s face and gave her a gentle pat on the cheek. “No matter what, I’ll have your back. Always. Even if it means dealing with Clarke.”

“Thank you, Anya.” Lexa clasped Anya’s hand in an urban handshake before going to the entrance to meet Clarke.

Lincoln joined them and waited for Lexa’s command.

“Me and Anya will flank Wanheda, and Lincoln will stay right behind us. If things get crazy Lincoln, pull her away and we provide backup, understood?”

Lincoln and Anya affirmed.

“Alright Wanheda, whenever you’re ready.”

 

Clarke took a single step outside, and the mayhem started. The shouts of excited fans were deafening.  The roar of their excitement could be heard around the mall. Immediately, cellphones and cameras were pointing in their direction as Clarke approached the barrier where some fans decided to wait to see if they could catch a glimpse of their idol. She shook hands quickly and signed every item that was practically shoved in her face. Lexa had to sometimes to push a hand here and there that refused to let go of Clarke.

It was a living hell for the security team, but Clarke managed to keep her fanbase happy and that’s all that mattered.

_WANHEDA!_

_I LOVE YOU WANHEDA!_

_WANHEDA HERE!_

Clarke moved quickly saying hi to as many fans as she could near the crowd control barriers, taking selfies with whoever asked and signing more and more items such as posters and album covers. Lexa and Anya kept as close as possible keeping her shielded, but it was getting tougher. Some people in the back of the line who wanted to see Wanheda up close were pushing their way forward. The fans were getting intense, it was becoming a disaster.

“Let’s get back inside!” Lexa ordered as she watched the craziness unfold.

_WANHEDA YOU’RE THE BEST!_

_MARRY ME WANHEDA!_

Lexa looped her arms around Clarke to shield her better as they started the extraction out of the mall.

“Come on, Clarke. Keep up with me!” Lexa started a frantic jog with Anya to move Clarke back to safety and out of the mall with Lincoln opening them a safe path.

 

The number of fans trying to break through the barriers was becoming a problem for the local security. Lexa feared they weren’t going to be able to get out without getting physical with some fans. Soon a hoard of fans started chasing them from behind.

The bodyguard team moved fast using the back corridors to deny the overexcited fans access and soon they were in the cargo area again.

“Let’s get out of here now.” Lexa helped Clarke get in the car.

“Everyone on board.” Anya reported as she checked everyone was in the SUV.

“Alright, let’s move!”

It didn’t take more than five minutes for the car to become surrounded by ravenous fans. They were hitting the tinted windows desperate and crying. It was beyond extreme.

“Come on Linc, get us out of here!” Lexa was on the back seat with Clarke and Anya, both women sandwiching Clarke between them to keep her covered.

“Woooaaah.” Octavia grasped the handlebar on top of the window. “This shit is moving.”

“Almost there, ladies. I got this.” Lincoln maneuvered the car steadily trying not to run over a fan as he was leaving the mall.

“Are you hurt?” Lexa made a quick scan of Clarke’s arms and face.

“No, no I ah, I’m okay. Are you?”

Lexa sighed relieved. “Yes. I’m fine.”

“Okay, full speed ahead!” Lincoln finally got onto the main street and sped up, heading back to the beach house to let the musician rest.

 

///

 

The band had been in Clarke’s place since early in the morning, taking it easy before the airing of ‘A Day in the Life’ which everyone agreed to watch together at Clarke’s vacation home.

Everyone was happy, having a great time. Everyone but Clarke. Lexa could read the blonde with ease. She could see right through her fake smiles and half-laughter. Lexa knew that Clarke had been a bit off because of this uncomfortable situation. Someone was watching them closely, someone was even going to the lengths of sending her flowers. This person knew lots of things about her, and that was freaking Clarke out.

Lexa was inside the kitchen pouring herself more lemonade, wondering who could be sending this messages to her client. The print analysis came back with nothing. They had no idea who it was, but Lexa was restraining her personal feelings and using all her resources to pinpoint the danger and eliminate it.

Lexa took her glass and took a generous drink before making returning to the backyard.

 

“This recipe is actually my own creation.” Raven boasted in front of the grill, explaining to Anya while she cooked for the rest of her friends.

“Is that right?” Anya asked with a small smirk in her face.

“Oh yeah, cheekbones. You’re about to taste a little bit of my incredible culinary talent. You’ve never ever tasted something this good.” Raven spread the sauce with a small brush over the burger patties evenly. “Yoo, Clarke. Come and prepare the buns!”

“I hear you, Raven. Why are you so noisy today?” Clarke walked towards the side table to begin cutting the burger buns and distribute the food accordingly.

Lexa’s phone distracted her momentarily, she pulled it out and smiled.

**_Costia (6:37 pm): Don’t forget to tune in tonight. I hope you and Clarke like how the show portrays a bit of her life on the road._ **

**_LWoods (6:40 pm): The band is all here and they are very excited to watch it together. I bet it’s going to be fantastic!_ **

**_Costia (6:42 pm): I hope so ;)_ **

 

“Raven to the commander!” Raven brought Lexa’s attention back.

Lexa lifted her gaze to meet Raven and Clarke, who was eyeing her not so friendly. “Yes?”

“I was asking if you wanted mayonnaise in your burger, but I guess you’re too busy texting Costia to even pay attention to what we’re doing here.” Clarke said in a very dry tone. “I’ll deliver Bell and O’s burgers first.” Clarke grabbed some plates and walked towards her friends around the pool to deliver the food.

“What? Clarke wait...” Lexa protested but it was all in vain, Clarke was fuming delivering the food to her friends.

“Damn, commander. You lost some points there with the Griff.” Raven joked whilst taking the latest patties out of the grill. “You should go and turn on the TV and sound system to get ready to watch the show and add more ice to the cooler inside if you wanna get back in Clarke’s good graces.” Raven winked, she closed the lid of the grill and continued preparing the burgers for her friends.

“Clarke or yours?” Lexa asked Raven.

“Well,” Raven tilted her head in thought. “Since I’m the bestie you gotta get in my good graces too, commander. In the meantime, I’ll prepare your burger. Hey, Clarkester how do you want your burger?”

“No pickles and extra mayo for Clarke and mine with everything with a bit of mayonnaise.” Lexa answered seeing that Clarke was distracted with Octavia and Harper.

“Noted, commander. See you inside.”

“Alright.”

 

Lexa returned inside the house to set up the TV to watch Costia’s show which was showcasing Wanheda tonight. Lexa kneeled and turned on all the sound system along the TV, with the remote she changed the channels until she found the right one.

When Lexa turned around Anya was at the door signaling her.

“What?”

“There’s a limo outside.”

“What? I’ll take care of this. You keep Clarke busy and not a word to anyone. I don’t want to create alarm for nothing.”

Lexa walked careful not to be noticed outside the house and found a chauffeur waiting. “Sir, this is private property. You shouldn’t be here.”

“Ah, I was hired and told to pick up a passenger at this address.” The man pulled a paper out of his pocket. “Ms. Clarke Griffin?”

“Clarke?” Lexa didn’t like this at all. This person was using Clarke and not Wanheda. This meant that they felt very connected to the musician to even consider using her real name. “No, she isn’t going anywhere, and I’d appreciate if you told me who hired you.”

“I don’t know.  It was an online reservation. I’m supposed to pick Ms. Griffin and drive her to the Skybox. I follow orders lady.”

“Well, she’s my responsibility, and she’s not going anywhere with you. Sorry and please leave immediately.”

“Okay.” The guy returned to the limo, and Lexa waited until the car was out of view.

 

The bodyguard took some time to make sure all security cameras were in working order around the house before going back into the living room. She had to find out what was going on and fast. This person may handle this rejection badly so it was urgent for her and her team to identify the danger.

“Hey, need a hand?” Lexa walked towards the kitchen to pick up the cooler with their beverages and move it closer to the center table.

Clarke shook her head. “No, I got it.”

“Clarke, I will keep you safe. I promise.” Lexa approached Clarke and rested her hand in hers. She knew Clarke was dealing with this situation by herself. She was always strong and dealt with her fears on her own, but Lexa wanted to let Clarke know she had her back. “This person won’t hurt you. I know that you’re concerned, but you got me for that. Let me be the one who loses sleep over this, not you. Relax and enjoy your gathering with your friends.”

“I don’t care about myself, but what if they try to hurt my family or-”

“Shhh…” Lexa cupped Clarke’s face. “I’ll find out soon who is behind this. No one is going to hurt your loved ones. Not if I can stop it. Now let me do my job and you relax. Costia hopes you like the show.”

“Costia huh?”

“Yes, my _friend_ Costia.”

Clarke chuckled, which made Lexa feel more at ease knowing that the blonde was starting to let her fears go. “Okay, let’s watch it then.”

 

“Okay, everyone shut the fuck up! I wanna be able to hear!” Octavia was the first to come inside the living room interrupting their one-on-one moment. The rest of the group were already following in line to get to their seats.

Lexa went to help Raven with her food and moved to the back to give privacy to the band that took the couch front and center.

“It’s starting!” Harper squealed.

“Hey everyone, this is Anacostia Del Bosque in another edition of ‘A day in the Life’ and we have a special guest today. The brightest star in the music world. We’re happy to spend a day in the life of Wanheda!!!”

“Fuck yeah!” Monroe shouted, and everyone clapped excitedly as the show intro started.

“Hot daaaaamn Clarke, you look fine as hell girl.” Raven whistled.

Lexa had to agree with Raven. Clarke really did look good on camera.

 

The group remained attentive to the tv show, watching Clarke’s hectic life being showcased to the rest of the world, eating BBQ Raven made as each image showed a little of the behind the scenes during Clarke’s concert in New York.

“Damn, who’s that hottie with that red jacket?” Raven pointed at the screen when Costia interviewed her.

“Oh gosh Raven you’re so full of yourself, shut up! You’re not that hot!” Clarke threw a pillow at the sound engineer.

“Don’t be jealous, Griffin. Besides, Anya disagrees, right cheekbones?” Raven wiggled her brows making Anya roll her eyes.

“No comment.” Anya replied before biting her burger.

Lexa giggled at how flustered Anya got, in return, Anya elbowed her. “You’re one to laugh, but look at you. You look like a puppy wagging its tail to her master. Geez, squid get a grip!”

Lexa huffed and drank from her bottle ignoring her friend.

Anya was right. It was pretty evident to those who paid attention that she was giving massive heart eyes to Clarke. She was deep, even then. No matter what she did, those feelings weren’t going to change anytime soon. But for Clarke’s own good she would push them away, even if she had to rip her own heart to do so.

 

The rest of the show was fun and vibrant, giving a glimpse into the madness of touring. All the band members and Clarke looked like a tight knit unit. The staff shared their anecdotes with the TV host, and the viewers learned just a little bit about the life of their idol as a professional and a person.

Costia did a wonderful job, showing a more human Clarke, not focusing solely on the sex goddess that was the rock star. The closing image was of Clarke, already done with the concert walking to her dressing room and Lexa at her side, both wearing content smiles on their faces. The connection could be seen on the TV. The image was a simple reflection of how both felt, yet for the viewers it would look as if security was escorting their favorite star, who was just happy to rest after such a grueling concert. Lexa didn’t remember when Artigas made that shot, it was obvious she was lost in Clarke.

“After this incredible concert, the rock star again becomes a regular human being. A woman who gets tired, hungry and loves like anybody else. This is Anacostia Del Bosque and thank you for watching this edition of ‘A Day in the Life, see you next time!”

 

With those words, the show was over, and Lexa couldn’t hide the tiny smile on her face, a smile that she was sharing now with Clarke.

Lexa would have to definitely text Costia and thank for the great work, for giving her more memories to store in her mind and heart.

 

///

 

After a wonderful night with the band, the security team drove Clarke to her interview and photoshoot the next day. She was discussing her tour with Callie Cartwig, the special envoy from Vogue, and sharing bits about her upcoming album.

Lexa observed from a corner of the studio the two women chatting amicably. Her eyes enraptured by the way Clarke managed to make everyone around her at ease. Clarke had such a positive energy that surrounded her in everything she did, including that damn romantic scene that looked too real for Lexa’s taste in her video clip. She hated every minute of it, and yes, she was acting like a complete idiot for no reason, but she couldn’t help how she felt.

Today she was solo with Clarke after ordering Anya and Lincoln to dig deeper into this stalker situation. Hopefully they would have answers today, in the meantime, Lexa would focus on watching over Clarke.

 

“That’s a way to put it.” Callie laughed. “I have seen footage of your concerts and the vibe is intense. How do you cope with such overwhelming energy?”

“It is crazy but the fans are there for me. They line up to watch me perform live and whether it is a good day or a bad day for me, I have to give them everything I have. They deserve the best of me.”

“You’re very devoted to your fanbase. How do you keep this balance between Wanheda and Clarke? Must be hard to keep the line defined with the fans being on social media paying attention to everything you do.”

“It is hard.” Clarke giggled. “I try to engage with as many as I can, but then you find yourself in a position where they want to know more and more. They are eager to get to know you and they push boundaries. All I want for my fans is to respect my privacy, to let me drink a coffee with my friends or just enjoy a romantic night without the stalking.”

“That means there’s someone special in your life you wish you could take out, huh?” Callie probed.

Clarke laughed harder. “Oh, come on!”

“Anything going on with TV hunk Ilian Sand? Heard the chemistry between you two was off the charts!”

“Really Callie?”

“I had to try.” Callie shrugged with a hint of a smile.

“For the record, Ilian and I were discussing work, but the tabloids immediately post nonsense that we’re dating, that we’re having a fling or god knows what else. It’s not true. Right now, there’s no one I’m interested in.”

 

Lexa felt a pang in her heart. The logical part of her understood that as soon as Clarke got questions about her personal life she would close herself up, protecting her privacy as she had always done, denying any romantic partner. The irrational stupid part of her wished Clarke would admit to the world that her heart belonged to her, which wasn’t true. Clarke wasn’t hers to begin with, but her heart didn’t get that part yet. Eventually it would.

“Back to topic then, your new single video will premiere tomorrow along with the release of your track, are you excited?”

“Yeah, I uh, I’m excited but also scared. I put so much of myself in it that I hope people understand the feelings I wanna share. It’s a special song, and I can’t wait for its debut.”

The interview went on for a couple more minutes until Callie wrapped it up.

 

Lexa moved behind the photographer and all the lights and monitors to wait for Clarke as she went into wardrobe change and makeup. Clarke came out wearing a muscle black shirt looking edgy as ever, her rocker vibe boosted to the max with her tight jeans and wild hair.

“Alright, let’s show the fun side of Wanheda.” The photographer instructed Clarke who was in front of a blue curtain and a chair as prop for the shoot.

Clarke sat on the chair and posed in various positions. She was smiling and enjoying what she was doing. Lexa observed in detail the ease in which Clarke moved around the set, posing with a genuine smile. Listening to the photographer’s feedback and responding accordingly.

“That’s great! We got lots of good material.” The photographer invited Clarke to check the monitor and latest pictures.

“I like this one!” Clarke pointed to the screen to show her favorite shots.

“Looks very rockery.” Callie added.

“I was checking the preview of your song. I noticed that you don’t use any specific pronouns. That’s very interesting.” The photographer said.

“Aah, I uh, I think this should be a universal song. It’s about lying to protecting someone you care about, so why gender it?” Clarke explained stuttering a bit, nervous to give much away.

 

“Wonderful! That’s why I think _you_ can help us.” The photographer turned to Lexa pointing at her.

Lexa frowned, looking slightly surprised. “Uh, me? I think you got it wrong, sir. I’m just a bodyguard not a model.”

“Just what I need! What’s your name?”

“Lexa.”

“Please Lexa, if you don’t like it we won’t use it but I think we can reflect Wanheda’s message with an unexpected photoshoot.  Who better than the real bodyguard to do that?” The photographer joked, not noticing how Clarke flushed at his correct assumption.

“Aaah, I don’t know. I’m going to ruin your photoshoot.”

“You wouldn’t ruin anything, Lexa. I’d be honored if you participated in the photoshoot.” Clarke encouraged the bodyguard.

Embarrassed and rubbing the nape of her neck, she nodded. “Okay, um, where do you need me?”

“Just behind her, be yourself. Let Wanheda do the work. I need quick and simple makeup for Lexa here!”

Soon Lexa was surrounded by the makeup artist and hairdresser. The photographer gave pointers to what he was looking for and in the blink of an eye she was ready.

The photographer narrowed his eyes. “That’s good I like that natural look, stay there and just look at me Lexa. Wanheda, I need you playful, stay irreverent, not giving a fuck contrasting with the seriousness of your security. Let’s have some fun!”

 

Lexa simply looked at the camera terrified, but feeling Clarke’s enjoyment made her relax some.

“Hmm, these look great, but I need more height difference. Anyone get me a box so Lexa can step on it.” The photographer said while he checked the LCD of his camera.

Clarke turned around and smoothed the suit lapels of Lexa’s black jacket. “Relax, Lexa. Let’s enjoy this experience together, okay? I’m actually glad I can have a photoshoot with you.”

“Really?”

“Yup, it’s not every day that I can have a photoshoot with someone I truly care about and don’t have to fake it.” Clarke winked and stepped apart so Lexa could get in position.

“Yes! That’s perfect. Look at me Lexa, drop your chin a bit. THERE!”

Lexa was blinded by the flashes and the sound of the camera was nonstop. The studio was chaos around them.  At the center of the storm were her and Clarke, Lexa wasn’t going to complain at all having Clarke this close to her, smelling her enticing perfume and sharing body heat. Actually, Lexa wouldn’t mind being here like this with the rock star forever.

“This is amazing! Just what I was looking for. I think you could be a fine model, Lexa.” The photographer invited Lexa and Clarke to check their pictures.

“I agree, she’s stunning.” Clarke was beaming seeing the result. “Thank you, Lexa.”

“Glad to be of service, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa tilted her chin downward to hide her pinkish cheeks and small timid smile.

 

More perfect memories. That’s everything Lexa was going to have left after this adventure, and that had to be enough.

Memories of a rock star and her bodyguard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your support! Hope it was enjoyable and see you next update ;)


	13. Chapter 13

Clarke stared at her computer screen. She was on the Vogue website staring at her picture with Lexa like a teenager dreamily watching her crush, at least that’s how she felt regarding Lexa. She had her fair share of lovers, including a relationship with a man who didn’t want to be part of the unavoidable madness from being with Wanheda, and yet, never in her life she had felt such a strong connection or pull with anyone like this before.

Lexa had come into her life unexpectedly, a woman hired to keep an eye on her. Of course, that didn’t sit well with Clarke, and she decided to make Lexa’s job a living hell. But Lexa was patient, understanding, always listening and offering words of comfort whenever she needed them. Lexa was real and noble, qualities that made Lexa special.  
What wouldn’t Clarke give to kiss and touch Lexa in a more intimate way. She agreed not to pursue anything and respect the friendship they had, but Clarke felt that they could work beautifully together in a more intimate manner. If Lexa only gave her one night, Clarke would die happy. There was not a day that she didn’t dream of Lexa. Of her plump lips moving softly over hers, of having the woman underneath her squirming in pleasure and whispering her name. Clarke knew it would be sublime. By the throbbing between her legs she knew these thoughts were already getting her worked up. She had a few minutes to rub one out though.

Her interview with Ms. Cartwig had been uploaded earlier today to promote her new material. Everything was ready for the debut of her new song and video, which had her on the verge of an anxiety attack. However, staring at her only picture with Lexa made her stomach flutter, as if she had a thousand butterflies inside and calmed her, attaching her to the ground and keeping her safe.

She loved everything about that picture. With Lexa standing so tall and beautiful behind her, keeping her protected under her watchful gaze. She was truly happy, having fun at the studio, and that smile was as authentic as the public was going to get.

Damn, she was smitten. Her attraction towards one particular member of her security detail was growing every single day.

“Nice picture you got with the bae, Clarke!”

 

“Oh my God!” Clarke swiftly shut the lid of her laptop and turned to see Raven coming inside her room as she tried to hide how flustered she was.

Raven was grinning knowingly. “Damn, Clarkey you’re head over heels for the commander.”

“Raven, stop talking nonsense. If Bellamy or Marcus hear you say anything like that, you could get me and Lexa in trouble. Besides, she isn’t my bae.”

“But you want her to be and I didn’t hear you denying you’re crazy in love.”

“Cos’ I’m not, Reyes. I like Lexa. I like her A LOT. That’s all there is. Just desire, things won’t go beyond that.”

“Okie dokie. You know best.” Raven shrugged and threw herself on Clarke’s bed. “Anyway, I arrived earlier to have some time with you before Bellamy starts to annoy you and drag you away.”

Clarke moved to her closet and selected ripped jeans and a long grey shirt and went into the restroom to get ready. “Yeah, don’t remind me about it. Things need to go well today.”

“It will. Your video will debut worldwide today on MTV, and there’s already a lot of buzz. The pre-sales of your single according to Jasper were already breaking records so it will be for sure number 1 for several weeks.”

“I hope you’re right, because if it doesn’t do well I’m gonna hear Bellamy blaming me for a loooong time.”

“Don’t think about it. I’ll prepare some food for us while you're at it. Anya was super busy when I got here so I think your security detail won’t join us for breakfast.”

Clarke peeked through her bathroom door. “I’ll see you then in a few minutes.”

“Ok, Griffster I’ll see you downstairs.” Raven moved from the bed and headed to the exit to leave Clarke to start getting ready.

 

Clarke showered and took care of her physical needs as quick as possible. It wouldn’t do her any good to be all worked up with Lexa around and not do anything about it when she had such a long day ahead of her. The release was rushed and not exactly what she needed, but that had to do for today. She tried to keep quiet and let her hands do the job, picturing those glorious pianist hands Lexa possessed. Her mind did an outstanding job taking her to a world where there were no barriers, and they could set free this pent up desire.

She came out refreshed, toweling her hair before getting dressed. Clarke finished drying her hair and body and put on her underwear to begin. Thankfully, today she didn’t need to be dress too formally since she had a press conference and then a party to celebrate her release before resuming the tour next week.

_KNOCK KNOCK_

“Ms. Griffin, it’s me. May I come in?” Lexa asked before going inside the room fully.

“Yeah, I’m decent. Come in.”

 

Lexa entered the room. She was dressed in very fine looking brown suit with matching vest; her tie was navy blue making a very nice contrast.  Her hair was in the usual braids to keep them out of her face, always ready for action. Lexa looked so good dressed up in her work clothes, it was a delight to see.

“Bellamy will be here in 30 minutes. Marcus is waiting for you at the hotel with the hair and makeup staff before the press conference, and Raven says breakfast is ready.”

“Thanks, I’ll be down shortly.” Clarke combed her hair and left it loose, knowing well that Fox, her makeup artist would take care of it later. “Any news about the strange letters?”

Lexa pursed her lips, hesitant to share information.

“Lexa please, don’t keep me in the dark here. I know you don’t wanna worry me, but I deserve to know.”

Lexa sighed, closing her eyes briefly, to then give her attention to Clarke. “There was another note.”

“What does it say?”

“Clarke, I think is better to leave this to us.”

“Lexa, tell me.”

“Congratulations my love and see you soon.” Lexa moved her hands to her trouser pockets, a scowl making the lines on her face harder. “This person used fake information through a VPN to make reservations for their date. We’ve been having a hard time because they are not leaving traces behind. I think this person is a professional or at least has help, because it’s always like they are a step ahead of us. However, my people are on it, and we won’t leave you alone, Ms. Griffin.”

“I know, thanks for being honest.” Clarke answered as she opened her drawer to put on a jeans jacket. “Let’s get going.”

 

///

 

After spending some quality time with Raven, facetiming Wells, and having her mom wish her good luck today, Clarke was taken to the hotel where she would hold her press conference and the premiere party with people of the industry to promote the rest of the tour and start generating enthusiasm for her album’s release next year. Marcus was eager to make this a success, and his excitement was palpable by his huge smile.

Once Marcus welcomed Clarke he guided her without delay to the room to get her hair and makeup done.

“You’re going to engage today with important members of the press and the music industry. Mingle with them and try to talk with as many as you can.” Marcus instructed as he walked along his star. “Ms. Woods, no one knows about Clarke’s stalker, and we have to make sure it stays that way. We don’t need any kind of news detracting the journalists from asking about the new single and upcoming album.”

“Yes, sir!” Lexa answered. “We’ll remain inside and keep an eye on things as usual. No one should suspect anything strange is going on.”

“Perfect.” Marcus returned his attention to Clarke. “I invited Miller and Ilian to the label party, so it’s important that you take pictures with them. Bellamy will be waiting for you at the venue to help you with our special guests.”

“Of course.”

“Alright, here we are.” Marcus opened the door with his keycard, allowing the group to enter the suite. “Fox, let’s try simple makeup for the conference and more vibrant later for the party. Bryan, make sure to dress her casual but at the same time with a chic look and for the party use all the leather you have. Wanheda needs to shine tonight. I'll see you all in the conference room in 20 minutes, MTV will be premiering the video in less than an hour. Everyone needs to be ready!” were the instructions given by the manager.

 

Clarke was quickly taken in by Fox and Bryan to fix her hair and get her wardrobe. The bodyguard team rested comfortable as the people worked on Clarke. They did their jobs fast and efficiently, already used to be under time constraints. Particularly when they have someone under their care as popular as Wanheda.

Right on schedule, 15 minutes later, Lexa and Anya had escorted Clarke to the conference hall where they would hold their short q&a and celebrate the launch of her new single.

“Perfect!” Marcus clapped. “I’ll introduce you and soon the session of questions will begin. Keep it light and don’t fall for provocations. Some members of the press will try to create confrontations to come up with scandalous headlines, and we don’t need that on debut day.”

“I hear you, Marcus.” Clarke nodded.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Clarke walked to the room with Marcus and took her chair. Marcus grabbed the microphone and introduced Clarke to the members of the press, thanking them for their presence.

 

“Congratulations on the new material!” The first journalist said. “We have watched the video teasers and it looks amazing. What can we expect from your collaboration with actor Ilian Sand in this project?”

Clarke smiled adjusting the microphone before speaking. “It was two days under the sun, doing stunts and working as hard as we could. I learned a lot from him, and I’m extremely pleased with the video.”

Another reporter raised their hand. “Wanheda. Once the tour concludes, what are your plans? Full promotion for the upcoming album?”

“I uh, well I haven’t discussed it much with my manager, but I have to finish recording the new album first. After that, I really want to take it easy before I start the promotion tour. I’ve been having a lot of fun in every concert, but it’s been draining so I’d take some time to rest.”

“Any expectations today? Ontari’s latest single remained in the top spots for several weeks.” Someone else asked.

“I hope the fans like it and connect with the song. I don’t really care much beyond that.” Clarke shrugged it off, keeping it short and simple.

“Wanheda, now that I see your security detail, you actually had your Vogue photoshoot with a real bodyguard. A female bodyguard! Why that choice?”

Clarke turned her face to look behind her and offered Lexa a sweet smile. Lexa was uncomfortable, which made sense when she isn’t used to being in the spotlight.

She returned her attention to the journalist. “Actually, that was improvised. The shoot was doing well, but the photographer wanted to try another angle to the story I wanted to portray with my song. And Lexa, my security, agreed to help. That’s all. Nothing out of the ordinary here. A friend helping a friend.”

“Do you have a launch date for this new 4th album?” Someone else asked.

“Summer next year, not sure exactly when but probably by the end of July. What I can tell you is that this 4th album is titled _Like an Open Wound_.”

Quickly more flashes and voices raised trying to ask more questions. Marcus eyed Clarke, rolling his eyes and Clarke just shrugged, smiling with her tongue peeking out through her teeth.

 

“Thank you all for coming. You’ll get more info about this album on another occasion; now we’re going to stop the q&a and wait for the video premiere. Once again, to all members of the press and the music industry, welcome, and join us later celebrate with Wanheda.” Marcus announced, with a nod from him, Lexa and Anya escorted Clarke to the floor where she was going to watch the live debut of her new video clip and song on the big screen.

 

///

 

The press conference had been a back and forth of the expected questions - the tour, the fans, the single and her future projects.

Clarke answered all inquiries with professionalism and kept it fun and light. The press loved the freshness and cheekiness of the musician. Her career suffered last year because of her reckless behavior and rebellious ways.  Since then Clarke had become more receptive and used Marcus’s advice to revamp her image. Things had been going really well since they started the campaign to change her image. The fans were more than enthusiastic, her music was returning to be enjoyable and above else, she wasn’t full of sadness anymore. Clarke was surrounded by people who loved and cared for her; mostly, it was due to a certain woman who made her smile more than anything.

 

“Really Clarke? I told you I wasn’t sure about using that song at all. The expletives of that song alone will force us to label the album as containing explicit content!” Marcus complained.

“Come on, Marcus. Don’t be ridiculous, Murphy did a great job with that song, and it’s clean. Okay, I admit there are some fucks thrown around, but that won’t diminish the sale of the album. Who cares about the parental advisory tag?”

“Ah Jesus, now there is no other choice than to promote that as the official album title. Will tell Monty to upload the design we were planning for promotion on your social media platforms now.”

“Good.”

“Alright, make sure to chat with our guests, but don’t give any more statements without discussing it with me first, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it from here Marcus.”

 

Clarke kept mingling with the investors and journalists keeping a tense smile, doing her best to do a good job with conversations, waving and posing for pictures for the press.

The environment was lively with people from radio, television and the music industry enjoying the hand food and drinks offered by Arkadia in honor of their artist.

“Wanheda.”

Clarke turned around to meet whoever was now calling her and met clear blue eyes. Eyes that sometimes seemed cold towards her, but Clarke ignored the feeling.

“Mrs. King. This is surprising.”

“Oh please, I told you last time we met it’s Nia. Azgeda is thankful for the invitation.”

Clarke arched her brows. “Good to know there is no bad blood between our labels. Azgeda Records has a lot of talented people.” Clarke said politely.

“Indeed, but we’re expanding, and we’re looking for someone with your skills. Wanheda would be a great addition to my label.”

“Maybe, but as I said to Roan, I’m not interested in a new music label. Arkadia gives me the creative freedom to write how I please. In Azgeda I don’t think I could do the music that I love to make. I hear you have particular tastes, Nia.”

“Which is a shame, Clarke.” Nia smiled. “You’re missing a great opportunity with us. It would be truly sad if things didn’t go well for Wanheda in the future.”

“Are you trying to imply something, Nia?”

Nia chuckled shaking her head with condescence. “Oh, not at all. I’m just giving you friendly advice.” The tall woman moved her gaze towards the bodyguard team who were close by. “Increase in your security from the last time we met in New Year. Trouble my dear?”

“No.” Clarke never felt too comfortable with this woman. Nia King was witty, a very smart opponent. Someone who Clarke should treat with care. “Marcus thought that I needed a nanny. I gotta admit my behavior wasn’t the most acceptable in the past, but with my new image relaunch and this album, I want to do things right for my fans.”

“That’s wonderful to hear. And again, should you consider yourself in need of a new label don’t hesitate to contact me, things can go south any time.” Nia smiled giving her business card to Clarke, however, that smile never reached Nia’s eyes.

“Thank you, Nia. Enjoy the rest of the party.”

 

Clarke was quick to walk away from that woman, rubbing her arms to calm the shivers. She put the business card away and took a flute from a passing waiter to ease her nerves.

“Everything okay?” Lexa appeared on her side with Anya trailing them a couple of steps behind.

“Yeah.”

“That woman and her son are persistent, aren’t they?” Lexa observed the Azgeda Records CEO.

“They have been subtle but insistent for some time. Azgeda wants to wipe out the competition. They have a tight grip on smaller companies, therefore not allowing other artists to surge unless they say so.  Azgeda uses binding contracts to take ownership of everything you are and controls all aspects of your career. Arkadia is not as big as Azgeda in terms of power, but they have me, which gives them a boost.”

“You’re the one stopping Azgeda from putting Arkadia out of business. The music industry sounds very cutthroat when you think in terms of the business and the money behind it.”

“It is.”

 

All of a sudden, the lights of the room were turned off and only a couple of very dimmed lights remained on, but the room was practically in complete darkness. All eyes were glued to the giant screen located at the end of the room.

“And now, ladies and gents the world premiere of Wanheda’s new single _Bodyguard of Lies_ in, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” The voice-over announced, and the guests shushed their voices.

Clarke took a deep breath and waited. She was on the verge of a panic attack. She felt her lungs constricting. But amidst the dark of the conference hall she felt a warm hand taking hers subtly.

Clarke looked to her side, Lexa was staring at the screen as everyone else, but her hand was clasped with hers securely, offering reassurance to the singer that everything was going to be fine.

 

The drums began the familiar beat and soon the bass joined. The camera started to pan around the location and soon the camera was on Clarke right when the guitar began to play.

Soon, the screen was filled with Clarke and Ilian, the two of them surrounded by thugs and the action unfolded as Wanheda’s voice sang about her secret feelings, hiding them to keep her love safe, becoming a bodyguard of lies. Her voice was deep, sultry, the way she sang ignited so many emotions.  Lexa was feeling it for sure, because Lexa turned to look at Clarke with that slight crease of her brows as if hearing that message that was meant just for her.

_“You’re brave, strong and caring._

_Igniting feelings that we cannot set free._

_You’re lying but I know, just as you do;_

_My bodyguard of lies.”_

Clarke curved her lips and softly squeezed Lexa’s hand. Her green eyes were sparkling and full of emotions that made Clarke lose herself in them. Lexa smiled briefly and returned her attention to the video that was packed with incredible stunts. The band looked amazing in their wardrobe having fun, enjoying the tune. The chemistry between Ilian and Clarke was really good, believable. The struggle of the two lovers to love each other could be seen but in the end Clarke let go. She lied to him and soon the video was over.

 

The applause that filled the room was thunderous. Soon the lights were back on, and Lexa moved away, returning to the shadows where she belonged with Anya. Clarke missed her presence at her side, her hand holding hers, but no one couldn’t discover or even suspect what transpired between them.

“Thank you.” Clarke bowed her head in gratefulness. The guests were happy and by their smile on their faces the music and the video had been good enough to earn the press’s approval.

Marcus returned and gave her a strong hug. “That was incredible! The press liked it! We’ll remain here for a bit longer before you head to the official launch party.” Marcus took a step back and approached Lexa.

“Lexa, this label party will include several guests and 75 fans that won double passes to this party. Make sure to keep a close eye in the club.”

“Will do sir.” Lexa assured.

 

///

 

At night, the bodyguard team drove Clarke to the nightclub. The press was outside with their cameras taking pictures of other guests walking down the pink carpet to welcome them to the event. Even with the added security and the crowd control steel barriers established along the main street, the number of fans was insane.

“Okay Linc, here is good” Lexa said. She gave her partners their lanyards with their ID’s. “Wear them during the event and keep a close eye out for anything suspicious.”

Lexa then looked at Clarke. “We’ll be right behind you, and if you feel uncomfortable with anything let us know, and we’ll act accordingly.”

“Okay. I’m ready.”

Lexa nodded and got out of the car with Anya. Lexa opened her door and offered her hand to help her out. The crowd as soon as they spotted their idol became frantic, and all the cameras were pointed at her.

Clarke waved to the fans on the other side of the street that were behind the security barrier, and they shouted in excitement. Waves of flashes were blinding them.

“Whenever you’re ready, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa said adjusting her black suit jacket, even her button up was black, the only color on her security detail’s suit was the red of Lexa’s tie. Lexa put in her earpiece and took a step closer, almost bumping her shoulder with the musician. “By the way, you look gorgeous.” Lexa said before retreating to her position, flanking Clarke.

Clarke blushed, the compliment making her smile easily. She was wearing an asymmetric lace dress in black, the front reaching up to her knees. It screamed rock attitude, and with her hair styled in that rock glam fashion, she looked and felt pretty good.

 

“Clarke!” Bellamy hugged and kissed Clarke enthused. “Everything is going according to plan. The video has been watched on YouTube more than a million times as we speak!

“Really!?” Clarke gasped, her hands on her head in disbelief and surprise. “Wow, that’s incredible!”

Bellamy grinned. “You’ll walk the pink carpet posing for a couple of pictures. Miller and Ilian are already there so you can take pictures with them for the press and talk with some reporters.”

“Okay.”

Bellamy escorted Clarke to the pink carpet. The crowd kept the shouting at the maximum level, never wavering, flashes of camera engulfed the musician as she stepped on the carpet, and Bellamy took a step back to allow Clarke to pose freely.

 

Clarke took her time, posing as requested with her music director and co-star. The two men were elegant, and the press loved every second of it. They incessantly requested them to look at their cameras.

Next, Bellamy guided Clarke to the press area to be interviewed. Once she was done Clarke made a detour to say hello to her fans.

Clarke signed pictures and took selfies with the overwhelmed fans standing behind the security barriers. The shouts calling Wanheda were never ending.

_WANHEDA!_

_SIGN THIS PLEASE!_

_CAN WE TAKE A SELFIE?_

Clarke was a crowd pleaser and engaged with as many people as possible. She moved along the barrier when she heard her real name being called. Clarke narrowed her eyes trying to pinpoint the exact location of the source, because it wasn’t anyone from her staff.

She kept walking shaking hands with the fans and signing more stuff as she moved, yet her eyes moved around the crowd searching.

“Clarke!”

Clarke raised her eyes and saw a face she hasn’t seen in a long time.

“Finn? What… what are you doing here?” Clarke asked the man who squeezed through several fans to reach the front of the barrier.

 

The man’s hair was shorter, his face had a 5 o'clock shadow that gave him a more mature look. He didn’t resemble that dreamy writer she fell in love with at all.

“Ms. Griffin.” Lexa stepped to her side quickly. “I think we should get inside.”

“One second, Lexa.”

Lexa nodded in compliance, but before she moved away she threw a death glare at Finn.

“Why are you here? I thought you hated this.” Clarke said with seriousness, her posture stiff.

“I know things didn’t end well between us, but I missed you, Princess.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. Not trusting a single word.

“I mean it, Clarke. I was hoping we could meet later tonight and talk.”

The fans around were getting too euphoric, and she had a job to do. This wasn’t the place to speak with him. Clarke looked over her shoulder and noticed Anya getting antsy by the way she clenched her hands, exasperated with Clarke already.

“Anya, could you ask Bell to provide you with a temporary pass and give it to Mr. Collins?”

“Cla- er, Ms. Griffin I don’t think we should-” Lexa threw in.

“Do it.” Clarke said with finality.

Lexa took a deep breath, grinding her jaw and shaking her head frustrated with Clarke overruling her but nodded in direction of Anya to do as the client said.

“I’ll give you 5 minutes, Finn.” After that Clarke continued to say hello to some more fans before heading into the nightclub.

 

///

 

Music blasted rhythmically through the giant speakers. Lots of people drinking and dancing on the main floor. Everyone celebrated under the animation of a skillful DJ. Colorful lights lighted the place, and it felt warm by the number of guests in attendance.

Clarke was drinking in the VIP area, reserved for her friends and manager only.

Octavia, Harper and Monroe were chatting loudly, drinking to their heart's content. Raven was discussing something with Monty about the Spotify numbers for her new song and who knew where the hell was Jasper.

Clarke would join in the fun conversation, but her mind was reeling from the previous encounter, asking herself so many questions about Finn’s presence here, after so long. Wondering if he was the one sending those letters and flowers.

 

Minutes later Lincoln appeared at the entrance with Finn. Anya allowed him inside by removing the queue barrier strap and clipping it once the man was inside.

Octavia’s loud laughter stopped, Harper choked on her beer, and Monroe just stared. Octavia stood up ready to punch the hell out of Finn but Bellamy stopped his sister, resting his hand on her shoulder. Raven threw daggers at Finn also ready to pounce on him, but Anya shook her head towards her to stay put to indicate that the security team got this. Clarke was thankful for her friends. They were very protective of her just as she is for any of them.

Marcus approached Clarke and spoke close so he could be heard over the loud music.

“Careful, Clarke. Cameras are on you tonight so keep it short and avoid any scandal.”  
Clarke huffed and stood up. “I know, Kane. Just let me handle this, okay?”

Marcus patted her shoulder and returned to Bellamy’s side.

Clarke walked towards Finn. “Let’s talk but as soon as we’re done you’ll leave.”

Finn agreed with a nod.

“Let’s go to a quieter and less crowded area.” Clarke said to Lexa.

“Follow me.” Lexa guided them inside the club administrative offices.

She opened a door and waited until Finn and Clarke were inside before locking the door.

 

The office was small, with a wooden desk with file holders on top. In the corner there was a document shelf and next to it a small round table with chairs. Clarke pulled a chair and sat there, waiting for Finn to do the same.

“So, what brings you here, Finn?” Clarke was the first to break the weird silence.

“Aah, I thought we were talking in private?” Finn eyed Lexa wearily. The bodyguard was standing at the back of the office, but still at a short distance to intervene in any emergency.

“My security detail have orders to never leave me alone, so speak. This is as private as you’ll get.”

After a beat Finn began. “Clarke, there’s not a day that I don’t regret hurting you. The things I said… I’m sorry. I was an idiot. I should have stood by you.” Finn ran his fingers through his brown short hair to hide his anxiousness, the length now reached only to his temples. Nothing that resembled that shoulder-length brown mane he wore.  
“Too late for that Finn. You asked me to choose between my career and you! The worse is that you basically said I whored myself to make my dream come true!”

Raising his hands in defeat Finn sighed. “I know but… Princess.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Okay um, Clarke please. I need forgiveness. I think we had something good. Something that we can rebuild again.”

“Finn, don’t start with this bull-”

“I still love you, Clarke!” Finn cut her off. Extending his hand to take Clarke’s but she was quick to remove hers and rested them in her lap instead.

“You never did. You loved an idea of me, but you forgot that this.” Clarke signaled her attire waving her hand over her body. “This is also part of who I am. You made it pretty clear that you weren't interested in Wanheda back then.”

“I know that. I’ve been thinking, and I realize that you were the best thing to ever happen to me. You made me happy Clarke, and I still believe that we can-”

“Just stop.” Clarke stood up already tired and done with this. “Finn, there’s no _we_ anymore. Not after I broke up with you.” Clarke chuckled, “You couldn’t deal with this part of my life, and I get it. I don’t blame you for that, even when you said those things of me. I forgive you, but it’s over. Goodbye Finn.” With that being said, Clarke walked to the door opening it.

“Clarke, please wait! Listen!” Finn tried to follow but Lexa was already there blocking his path. She pressed her commlink. “Linc, make sure to escort Mr. Collins outside.”

 

Clarke returned to the party feeling lighter. She really didn’t feel any remorse or regret for what she said. She saw Finn and felt nothing, maybe nostalgia for the time they were together, but that was it. No wild beating of her heart or desire. No fluttering in her stomach at his sight. She didn’t miss him and her anger after he hurt her had dissipated greatly. She stopped drinking herself to oblivion and sleeping around just to forget the pain.  Now she was stronger and wasn’t as lonely, thanks to her friends but mostly thanks to the woman who watched her from the shadows.

 

After that uncomfortable moment, the rest of the launch party was a blast. Clarke even went to dance with some fans in the general area without a care in the world. She was happy, feeling free of the pain that haunted her for so long, as if she had removed a dark cloud that had hung over her head. Clarke was content and loving every minute of this grand celebration with her bandmates and friends.

She laughed, she danced, she joked - Clarke spent every minute of this party with the people she held dear to her heart. She only wished she could have included in this celebration the woman in the dark suit, who kept her eyes vigilant all night long within the darkness of the club. Clarke couldn’t see her, but god she could _feel_ her.

It wasn’t enough. But it was _something._

 

///

 

She was supposed to be asleep, but Clarke was on her bedroom’s balcony that lead to the beach. The moon looked gigantic over the ocean, and the wind that blew softly pushed the waves in that steady cadence into the shore, felt cold on her skin.

They were back on tour next week, and she needed the hours of sleep because they weren’t stopping until they competed the _Infinity Tour_. Nonetheless, Clarke’s mind was working nonstop. She even wrote some lyrics and composed on her acoustic guitar, jotting everything down in the moleskine Lexa gifted her.

 

Clarke was filled with a sudden need to escape this prison due to the several restrictions of her career. To the constant vigilance when all she wanted was some time for herself. To be Clarke Griffin alone, no Wanheda tonight.

It was pretty late, and the beach was deserted. Clarke left her songbook on her table and snuck out of her bedroom as silently as she could, walking through the pool yard and reaching the gate that lead her straight onto the beach.

Clarke was giggling, patting herself mentally for her monumental escape; she opened her arms and breathed the saltiness of the ocean, her bare feet sinking into the grainy sand and she ran towards the shore. Tasting this short-lived freedom of not being followed by Marcus, Bellamy or her security personnel.

It was finally herself free in the world.

 

The water was warm at the contact, and Clarke was filled with adrenaline. She took a look around before she began to remove her clothes. Skinny dipping under the moonlight was definitely something she always wanted to try, and she was feeling bold.

Clarke was laughing as she launched herself into the ocean, swimming in her naked glory in the calm sea. She dipped her head into the water to emerge fully a second later, shaking her head splashing water all around her.

She leaned back to float, looking at the beautiful stars above, wondering about the immense universe and how insignificant she was beneath the sky.

 

“Clarke, what the hell are you doing!? It’s past midnight!”

Clarke looked back to the shore and distinguished even in the dark the lithe figure running towards her at full speed.

“Clarke! Are you okay!” Lexa was starting to remove her hoodie, followed by the t-shirt underneath and next her sweatpants, throwing the clothes haphazardly as she ran, ready to jump in the water and ‘rescue’ the blonde. It was like watching ‘Baywatch’ live.

Clarke laughed out loud. “Calm down Lexa! I’m not drowning!”

Lexa stopped at the shore standing only in her top and boxer briefs taking deep gulps of air dumbfounded. Her feet already immersed in the salty water.

Clarke moved to a shallower area where she could stand without actually getting out. From there, she could really appreciate the fine v-cut of Lexa’s lower abdomen that disappeared underneath the waistband of her underwear. Clarke had to swallow because hot damn, Lexa’s body was clearly chiseled, with a strong midsection and powerful lean thighs. Muscles in all the right places. A body trained to protect.

“I was worried when I didn’t hear you playing your guitar nor pacing around. I peeked outside my room noticing you left the lights on. I assumed you fell asleep while working and decided to turn them off, but you weren’t there and the last thing I see is you running into the water from your balcony.”

“I uh- I just wanted to take a walk on the beach. Besides, there’s no one here at this time so why not?”

“Clarke. You barely know how to swim. This was stupidly reckless! I know you hate the babysitting, but this is why we are here. You know I wouldn’t mind accompanying you even at this time.”

“Don’t you get tired of my bullshit? How much is Marcus paying you guys?” Clarke decided to go with humor instead of getting into an argument with Lexa, who was definitely right.

Lexa chuckled, lowering her gaze to hide the barely there smile from showing on her face. “Yes and not enough, but I guess I like to suffer.”

Clarke perked her brow, “Ah, is that right, Woods? That offends me deeply.” Clarke faked annoyance.

“I can be stubborn too. Ms. Griffin.”

Both laughed.

 

“If you wanted to come you should have told me first.” Lexa decided to sit on the shore waiting for Clarke to finish her impromptu swim.

“Sorry, it was a spontaneous decision. Won’t happen again, Commander.”

“So umm, why this sudden need to leave the house?”

“I ah… I don’t know. I think I felt overwhelmed.”

Lexa began to play with the sand, fisting a bit in her hands and molding it. “Are you worried about the success of your new song?”

“I just- I’m so tired…”

“From touring?”

Clarke denied with a head shake. “Everything. The press, the label, the pressure to fulfill expectations, this stalker. Just... everything.”

“Tell Marcus. He will understand and find a way to remove some pressure from you. I mean, the new single and video are already breaking records online, number one release on iTunes too, and don’t worry about the crazy fan, I got it.” Lexa tried to encourage Clarke to soothe her fears.

“What if… what if no matter how hard I try it’s never enough?”

 

Lexa remained silent for a few seconds before her green gaze focused solely on Clarke.

“Your songs… they are bold and filled with emotion. I uh, I actually bought your previous albums.” Lexa lowered her gaze to hide her embarrassment at her admission.

Clarke gasped clearly not expecting this. “What? You listen to my music? I thought you weren’t a fan.” Clarke teased, laughing heartily at the confession.

“I wasn’t. I was curious months ago, so I listened to some songs of your first album, and I liked them. I bought the other albums and sometimes listen to them when I work out.”

Clarke giggled, amused, not quite believing what she was hearing.

“So trust me, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“And now you’re a music critic. You never stop amazing me, Woods.”

“No really, I mean it. Your last album that was heavily criticized was indeed dark and angry, but you have moved past that heartbreak that pushed you to write that album. Now I see you smile and hear you laugh. You sound lighter because you’ve opened up your heart again and I’m more than confident that your new single will show that change in you. I still see you Clarke. I can hear you through your music. And now, your heart shows no sign of weakness.”

 

Clarke let those words fill her with the confidence she was lacking, Lexa always knew what to say to make her feel better. Clarke began her return towards the shore lost in Lexa’s words.

“Clarke!” Lexa’s eyes were wide open, her mouth dropped on the floor. Lexa blinked herself out of her stupor and turned around abruptly. “Shit!”

Clarke dropped back in the water. “Whoops. Sorry about flashing you. I forgot.”

“You forgot? You- you forgot... you’re- you’re naked!?” Lexa was turned around.  That’s when Clarke spotted the lower part of the back tattoo she knew Lexa had, but never had the chance to see fully, until now.

“Yup. I thought, why not go full commando, huh?”

“Warn a girl first. Jesus, Clarke!”

Clarke chuckled, even though she couldn't see Lexa’s face, she pictured her cheeks and ears turning a bright pink.

“I’m getting out, okay?”

“Okay. I- I won’t look. Let me know when I can turn around.”

Clarke finished the walk towards the shore and grabbed her scattered clothes putting them back on quickly since the air was feeling colder on her skin now that she was wet. “I’m fully dressed now.”

Lexa peeked unsure over her shoulder.  But once she confirmed Clarke was indeed dressed, she stood up and collected her clothes to put them back on.

 

“Thank you.” Clarke said sincerely to Lexa who put on the rest of her clothes on.

“For what? Not being a pervert?” Lexa smirked. She started to wipe the excess sand from her sweatpants.

“For being yourself around me. You’re always the same whether I’m Clarke or Wanheda.”

Her friends supported her, but they were all so busy with their own lives that they couldn’t see past her facade. She was tired. Sometimes she wanted to quit but she kept pushing herself for her fans, to please the label and Marcus, but it was the love she had for making music that she relented. Her dark phase had been rough, but Lexa was right. She had found hope again. She was happier, motivated to write, and she owed that to Lexa.

“Of course. We’re friends.” Lexa smiled cockily whilst she finished removing the excess of sand, digging her hands inside her pant’s pockets. A smile that Clarke wouldn’t mind erasing with a kiss just to annoy Lexa.

Clarke walked towards Lexa, shivering a bit and hugging herself to provide more warmth.

“Here.” Lexa offered her Polis Warriors hoodie and handed it to Clarke. That will keep you warm while we return back to the house.

“Thanks.” Clarke swiftly put on the warm hoodie, smelling the familiar scent of the original owner impregnated on the cotton material.

 

They stared at each other for who knows how long. Naturally, enjoying the other’s presence, but there was it again, that heaviness that always lingered when they were alone.

Lexa took a step forward, her fingertips pushing a wet strand of hair sticking to Clarke’s cheek, tucking it behind her ear. However, Lexa didn’t remove her hand completely, resting it in on the side of her neck.

“Finn didn’t deserve you.” Lexa said, her voice barely there that Clarke wasn’t sure she caught what she said. “You’re much more than Wanheda, Clarke. Gosh, if I had the freedom-” Lexa stopped what she was saying, her voice shaking, swallowing her words.

“It’s only you and me here, Lexa. No titles, no responsibilities, no jobs.” Clarke prompted. “Just two girls who care for each other underneath the stars.”

Clarke could see how Lexa’s eyes darkened until the green was almost gone, the yearning in them was as clear as the moonlight that bathed them. Lexa wanted her as much as she did. Yet Clarke could see the slight hesitation in her eyes, the fear of how they could mess up their already complicated relationship. However, Clarke remained on her spot, knowing well how things would be complicated with Lexa if she did make a move. But she was aroused, her center already pulsing demanding her to act upon her wants. Still, she remained in place.

 

“Shit! You’re going to be the end of me.” Lexa whispered before she closed her eyes and leaned in claiming Clarke’s lips. Not unsure like they did the first time, but ravenous; with a desire and hunger that ignited inside her body and melted Clarke at the contact.

She relaxed and her hands sought Lexa’s waist, pressing herself closer to Lexa until there was no space between them. The warmth of Lexa’s skin sent her nerves into overdrive. Lexa was a burning furnace around Clarke. She wasn’t shivering anymore. This closeness was enough to keep her warm for days. And oh, those lips - she changed the angle to go deeper, to meld with Lexa and savor her, because this is what she needed to become alive. She was starving, and Lexa was the nourishment she needed.

A kiss that was desperate, needy, as if they both have been drowning and now they sought air from one another.

A kiss that was tumultuous, a hurricane force knocking them out by the sheer exertion.

A kiss to remember on a night where they could be just Lexa and Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience as usual! Thanks again to Rin for the awesome manip and I hope in this dark day this work brings a smile to your face. The world might be full of bad people, but the good people are more and together we will remain strong!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Tana


	14. Chapter 14

Her resolve broke the moment Clarke looked at her with those beautiful hooded blue eyes of hers. With that sultry voice that made her dream night after night of sweet kisses and lingering touches. Dreams that were just that, dreams. At least, until tonight.

On this starry night all pretenses were thrown away for an instant in time. It didn’t matter how fleeting it was. It could last a couple of hours, minutes or several seconds, and that was fine. Nothing else mattered since they had this moment to cherish and set free their desires.  Lexa surrendered entirely to Clarke, because Lexa was _hers_.

It was her truth, her irrefutable truth that she fought for so long, but now she gave herself to Clarke.

Lexa had believed for so long that this was being weak, but Clarke lifted her; she gave her strength and believed unconditionally in her. She didn’t judge her for her mistakes like everyone else did - Titus, even Anya from time to time. Not Clarke. Never Clarke.

 

How they made it back to Clarke’s vacation home without waking up Lincoln and Anya or the whole beach community with their laughter and desperate kisses was a mystery.

The only thing Lexa knew is that as soon as Clarke crossed the door to her room, she crashed their lips again. Clarke was thirsty for her lips, drinking every gasp and every moan with her mouth. And what a kiss it was. Lexa wasn’t going to be able to move past this, not when Clarke was kissing and touching her like her life depended on it.

Clarke pressed closer, pushing Lexa’s back against the door hitting it with a thud. With their bodies moulding as one, Clarke’s hands pulled her t-shirt to keep them glued. It was frantic, almost as if any second of hesitation would break the spell they were immersed.

Lexa pulled back and paused before Clarke gave chase to her lips. “I’m not going anywhere,” Lexa said breathlessly. Keeping her hands entangled in the baby curls behind Clarke’s neck and on her waist.

Clarke looked beautiful with her swollen red lips and messy wet hair. Her blue eyes engulfed and her pupils almost black. If Lexa wasn’t actually holding her in her arms, she would think this was a mirage.

“But you will.” Clarke replied with a tint of sadness.

“We have time.” Lexa lifted Clarke’s chin, trying to diffuse the thoughts of the unstoppable future relentlessly coming for them. That was all Lexa could say to ease Clarke’s fear, but she knew it was a lie. In a couple of weeks, she would be gone for good.  But tonight wasn’t the time to think about it.  Instead she captured those delicious lips once more.

 

They moved around the master bedroom without a clear destination bumping into walls and tables awkwardly, as if they were playing a horizontal Twister, but this was a _different_ kind of game.

Lexa kissed the column of Clarke’s neck, nipping at her pulse point, brushing it with her lips. She inhaled the sweet chamomile flowery aroma that was pure Clarke, mixed with the salt of the ocean.

 _A mermaid_ , Lexa thought chuckling softly against the underside of Clarke’s jaw before capturing those sinful lips again, causing Clarke to moan softly.

Her hands moved with uncertainty, roaming around every curve and expanse of soft skin she had available, exploring the new confines in which she was allowed to reach and learning this magnificent body in the process.

Clarke matched Lexa’s intensity - kiss by kiss and touch by touch. Biting her collarbones and leaving her mark on the tanned skin making Lexa hiss. The heat between them grew by the second, and once they crossed this line there was never going to be a way back.

“Clarke… are you sure?” Lexa muttered in-between kisses.

“I want this.” Clarke replied without breath, her eyes glazed and hooded. Desire dripped from every pore along with sweat. “Do you?”

Lexa gave a sure nod.

That was the consent Clarke was waiting for before she closed the gap between them and took control.

 

Clarke’s hands attached to her shirt to pull it off, and Lexa lifted her arms to speed up the process. Lexa waited until Clarke got rid of the borrowed hoodie before she aided Clarke’s escape from her wet shirt.

Their kisses were becoming frenetic, the need to be skin against skin overruling all common sense. Clarke kissed her neck and bit her earlobe softly, asking “May I?” as her thumbs hooked around the waistband of Lexa’s sweatpants and boxers.

“Yes.” Lexa breathed.

Clarke kneeled so she could kiss the exposed skin of her thighs whilst she removed the pants and boxers. Her lips trailing down kisses over knees and taut calves, taking the time to worship long lean legs.

Lexa used Clarke’s shoulder for balance as she finally took out her foot from the garment.

“Fuck! You’re… wow.” Clarke stood up appreciating the nakedness of Lexa. Her blue eyes taking her time to look at the brunette.

Lexa chuckled because Clarke had no idea how fucking pretty she was, and she was going to show her appreciation with her hands and mouth. Still, it felt good to be looked at with such hunger and lust. Her heart was beating fast, threatening to rip out of her chest. Lexa wasn’t nervous per se, but she could feel the tingling in her stomach, the anxiety growing to perform better than ever because this mattered. This was important.

“I believe someone needs to even the playing field.”

Clarke smiled wider. “I can agree with that.”

Clarke was swift to remove the rest of her clothes. Though Lexa did notice some self-consciousness on Clarke’s part by the way Clarke crossed her arms in front of her belly casually.

“Wow indeed.” Lexa said with a hint of a smile, swallowing hard to moisten her throat; observing the voluptuous bosom and the pert pink nipples that hardened under the cool air, her attractive well-rounded hips and nice legs. She walked towards Clarke snaking her arms around her waist.

“You’re so beautiful.” Lexa kissed her temple, “Every inch of you is perfect.”

Lexa didn’t want Clarke to feel ashamed of her curves. On the contrary, she wanted nothing more than for Clarke to embrace them. She remembered a headline that talked about how Clarke gained weight after her breakup when she initially did her research, as if it was a crime or how the pressure of Hollywood standards of extremely lean actresses and musicians demanded Clarke to be ‘in shape.’ Lexa would gladly tell all of them to fuck off because this woman who was gasping, digging her nails in her upper back, was perfect just the way she was.

 

She started to move her mouth over collarbones and breasts sucking one first and next the other, feeling the pebbles under her lips and fingertips. Clarke arched her back and held onto the edge of a nearby desk as Lexa sucked and nibbled her breasts.

Clarke started cursing, shivering in want, making Lexa laugh lowly at the impatience of the blonde.

Lexa continued descending until she was on her knees kissing the softness of Clarke’s stomach and nuzzled it with her nose making Clarke giggle. “I love everything about you, Clarke.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply the slick skin. She could smell Clarke’s arousal and looked at Clarke through lidded eyes. She waited a heartbeat.

Clarke laced her fingers in Lexa’s chestnut brown mane and gave a nod. With her permission, Lexa sank further down delivering kisses to the pelvis. wandering around the pale skin with her lips and hands, tracing the arc of her ass. Kissing every spot of skin, moving below the short trimmed blonde pubes until she reached her destination.

 

Lexa groaned at the view, the labia was glistening, so wet and ready for her. She didn’t hold back anymore and took a long lick.

Clarke whined softly, tightening her hold on Lexa’s hair and bucking her hips seeking the contact she wanted. She spread her legs wider to give Lexa further access.

Lexa pressed her hands on Clarke’s hips to keep her still while she savored the tangy taste of Clarke. With the tip of her tongue she glided over the engorged clit - the reddish head already peeking through the hood - earning her more moans and curses. Lexa lapped again taking in more of Clarke’s juices, taking her time teasing with her masterful tongue, circling around the clit but always keeping her touches light.

“Lexa, fuck- please… I need- I need you inside!” Clarke shut her eyes throwing her head back in pleasure. She could barely speak. Clarke clung to the desk with one hand while the other on tugged at Lexa’s hair.

Lexa smiled pleased, hearing the need of her lover, but she wasn’t going to tease her any longer. “Hold tight.” Lexa kissed her thigh and lifted Clarke’s leg over her shoulder. With Clarke fully exposed, Lexa could maneuver easily. With her thumb, she rubbed Clarke’s bundle of nerves a couple of times and soaking her fingers as much as she could before she hit home.

 

Clarke groaned and was about to throw another expletive at Lexa but not a second later Lexa slipped two fingers inside of her. Clarke almost ripped her scalp off her head knotting her fingers in her hair, but Lexa endured so she could provide all the pleasure to Clarke.

“Fuck Lexa!” Clarke’s husky voice enticed Lexa, and she pushed deeper and faster.

From there, she set a maddening rhythm, thrusting with her fingers and lapping Clarke’s clit with her tongue.

Lexa was about to burst in happiness, because she was the one making Clarke tremble in pleasure, hearing her moans. Her hand was cramping but no way in hell she was stopping, not until Clarke cried her name. Lexa curled her fingers, touching the spongy front wall, keeping a nice tempo in her motions and using her mouth and teeth whenever Clarke demanded more attention. The combination was bringing Clarke to the highest mountain, and the blonde was ready to drop.

Soon, the walls began to clamp Lexa’s long fingers, and Clarke let out a hoarse moan.  It was the most beautiful sound Lexa had ever heard, her name leaving Clarke’s lips.

“Lexaaaah!!!”

Something she would never tire of hearing. Another memory to treasure.

 

“Easy.” Lexa tightened her hold around Clarke, looping an arm around her waist to keep her from falling. She was sure Clarke left angry red marks on her back, but she didn’t mind carrying the memento. “I’ve got you.” Lexa slowed down her motions trying to coax as much as she could and bring down Clarke from her high.

Lexa pulled out slowly and with her tongue lapped at the evidence of the climax between Clarke’s legs.

Lexa stood up and kissed the dopey, sated smile from Clarke’s face. “Good?”

“Yeah, very.”

Lexa chuckled seeing how sleepy Clarke looked. She hooked her arms under Clarke’s knees and lifted her up carrying her.

“Let’s go to bed.”

 

///

 

“Claaaarke!” Lexa whined.

The blonde was sucking her nipple and fingering her at a snail’s pace. Lexa was so eager for release, but Clarke was taking her time, enjoying her thoroughly.

“Shh, baby. Allow me to delight myself.”

Lexa swallowed hard hearing the pet name, but she returned her focus to the sensations Clarke was provoking in her and not think of how intimate and familiar being with Clarke - entangled in the sheets of this bed, smelling of sex and sweat - felt like.

Clarke continued her exploration, flicking the tiny droplets of sweat covering the tight abs with her tongue, causing shivers on Lexa’s spine.

“ _Klark!_ ” Lexa half-sighed.

Clarke increased her rhythm not denying Lexa the friction she was seeking with her hips, and pressed the heel of her palm against the clit while her fingers kept slipping inside the walls of the dripping channel. Clarke hovered over Lexa and claimed her lips once more. The rock star settled over Lexa, holding her weight with one forearm besides Lexa’s head and her legs trapping in between, Lexa’s thigh.

 

Lexa could feel Clarke’s hot puffs of air on her ear as she began rocking her hips faster and harder. Lexa matched her thrusts and soon, both were heaving and panting into each other, breast against breast. Rubbing body against body in a messy dance of two souls interconnecting with their skins.

“Clarke, I’m gonna-”

Clarke rested her head into the hollow of Lexa’s neck, grinding her hips and losing a bit of the cadence she had set.

Lexa fisted the sheets in her hand, careful to not mark Clarke or leave evidence of her presence. Tempted as she was Lexa restrained herself. If anyone from the makeup staff noticed a single hickey or scratch on Clarke’s back or neck, it would complicate things tenfold for them.

Clarke was relentless, a force to be reckoned with in bed. Clarke kissed and touched like the end of the world was near. She could be a lioness, shredding her to pieces or a tamed kitten when she sought Lexa’s warmth and comfort. Lexa had learned so much more about the woman on top of her in a couple of hours, in this moment of complete intimacy and trust, than during the tour. And Lexa repaid in kind, opening herself to Clarke. Showing in her eyes, and her gestures all she felt for her and hoping that Clarke could read her message.

Embarrassingly soon Lexa was breaking and falling, but how on Earth could she last when the woman she wanted with a passion was fucking her brains out. Squeezing her eyes shut and opening her mouth in a silent scream Lexa climaxed. The veins in her neck tensing and popping as her toes curled releasing the explosion of her orgasm.

Clarke followed a moment later, muffling her shouts biting Lexa’s neck. For some reason, that did it for Lexa again, making her prolong her own climax.

 

After a couple of minutes in silence, both recovered their breaths. With Clarke resting her weight fully on top of Lexa, she threw an arm lazily over Clarke, kissing her temple and removing some wild strands of hair that stuck to her flushed face.

Clarke finally pulled out her fingers and changed their uncomfortable positions to lean her head on top of Lexa’s chest. She sucked her fingers stealing Lexa’s breath again.

“Mmm, Lexa. You taste so fucking good.” Clarke said after her shattering orgasm. “I could eat you forever.”

Lexa smiled, drawing with her fingertips lazy circles on Clarke’s back. “I wouldn’t mind that, Clarke.” _I’m yours to eat_ , Lexa almost said, but refrained from doing so.

The two kept silent again, resting and fighting sleep.

Knowing this would be over at sunrise.

 

Clarke frowned and propped her head up from Lexa’s chest. Looking at her abdomen.

“What?” Lexa frowned noticing how enraptured Clarke was looking at her midsection.

“This.” Clarke said and with her hand touched the round small scar. “I noticed it in addition to that cute birthmark on your left thigh, some scars in your arms and back but this one…” Clarke met her eyes. “What happened?”

“Bullet wound.”

Something flashed across Clarke’s face. She looked scared.

Lexa cupped Clarke’s face to bring her back to wherever she went. “Hey, don’t worry. I uh, sorry if the scars put you off.”

“Oh no, it’s not that. I ah, it felt…” Clarke sighed looking for the right words. “It was like a deja vu or something, I don’t know. It gives me chills. Jesus, Lexa. You were shot?”

“It was a long time ago. Ahm, an accident. My ah- Titus, he had a gun in his office. I was a little girl and stupidly curious. I took the gun and played with it. Titus returned without me noticing and as soon as he scolded me I dropped the gun on his desk. The weapon went off, and I got shot.”

“God, that must have been scary.”

“Yeah, but luckily it didn’t hit anything important. Since that day Titus got rid of the gun and never kept firearms in the house. He kept mostly knives and daggers for protection.”

 

Clarke pressed herself closer to Lexa, holding her tight against her. With her fingers she reached her arm tracing the three bands tattooed on her arm until she reached the curve of her shoulder, tracing the white thin line over it. “This one?”

“Knife. Years back when a high-profile client almost got killed.”

“I hate that you’re a human shield. Aren’t you interested in any other job?”

Lexa shook no with her head. “This is what I do best, Clarke. Besides, it’s not very often that I’m in a risky situation.”

Clarke moved and propped herself up on her elbow studying Lexa. “I don’t want you to get hurt, much less for me.”

Lexa chuckled and reached for Clarke’s lips to give her a chaste kiss. Her hand kneading her hair. “I’ll take a bullet for you any day, Clarke. I’m not scared of getting hurt or dying if I can protect and keep you safe.”

“Okay, talking about dying is a big turn off, Woods.” Clarke leaned and kissed Lexa’s scar on her belly. “I rather do other interesting things.” Clarke kissed lower and lower moving past the trimmed patch of coarse hair and positioned herself between Lexa’s legs.

“You’re such a talker, Griffin. Show me what you got.”

Clarke grinned, and Lexa’s heart somersaulted in her chest. Cocky Clarke Griffin was the biggest turn on ever.

“Hold on tight, babe. You're in for a ride.”

 

///

 

How many hours had they spent in each other’s arms having sex non stop since they landed in Clarke’s bed? Since they made it into this room, both have been using every minute and second as much as possible. But if was certain in life, it was that time never stopped.

The sun was so close to rising in the horizon and would mean the end to this tryst. To break their bubble and return them to the reality of their situation. To a world that would turn chaotic if anyone learned of what transpired between them.

Lexa was laying on her side, eyes still open tiredly; she could feel Clarke’s breasts pressed against her back and legs tucked neatly behind her own. Clarke was completely molded to her, holding her from behind, spooning her protectively. With her arm thrown over her waist, caressing her tenderly.

Clarke dropped another kiss on the nape of her neck. “This is pretty.” She said referring to the infinity symbol she tattooed on her neck. “I really like this design. When did you decide to tat your back?”

“I got that one when I was 16.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was in my rebellious phase with Titus. You see, he could be overwhelming from time to time. I know he cared for me. He raised me as his own, but he can be too much sometimes, you know?”

Clarke chuckled and the vibrations from her body made Lexa tremble. She kissed Lexa’s earlobe before sucking it.

“My mom can be sometimes like that, which is the reason why I got along better with my dad. He inspired me to follow my dreams, to make music that made people feel things.”

“I’m sorry you lost him so young.”

“He was amazing, Lexa. I wish you could have met him. He would have liked you very much.”

 

Lexa turned around to meet Clarke sensing a wave of sadness, they scooted closer resting their heads on the same fluffy pillow, keeping the blanket over them to stay warm and comfortable. She rested her hand over Clarke’s rosy cheek, caressing her soft skin with her thumb.

“If the daughter resembles the father in any way, then I would have totally liked him too. He must be so proud of everything you’ve accomplished so far. You’re an outstanding woman, Clarke. You’ll keep making incredible music for many years to come.”

“And you? What do you see in your future?”

“I don’t know. Wherever the job takes me.”

Clarke’s eyes were becoming heavy with sleep, and she tried to stifle a yawn.

“Sleep.” Lexa whispered.

“I want to get to know you, Lexa. I have no idea what’s your favorite color, even your favorite food. I don’t wanna sleep yet.”

Lexa curved her lips, she kissed Clarke’s forehead and rested her chin on top of her head. Cradling Clarke in her arms. “I’m not that interesting. You have said it yourself. I’m pretty lame.”

“You are. But that’s why I like you so much.”

 

Lexa was blushing hard. She was thankful Clarke was falling asleep in the crook of her neck not witnessing how she could turn her into mush with a couple of words.

“My fave color is red, and I’m a sucker for vanilla milkshakes.” She felt Clarke relax slowly, her body falling limp as her breathing came out more tamed.

“Mine’s blue, but lately I’ve come to really dig green.” Clarke’s speech was more slurred, slower. “Of course you had to be a vanilla kind of girl. That’s so you!” Clarke snorted.

“What does that even mean Clarke? Just because I like vanilla doesn’t mean I cannot be interesting or badass. And vanilla is awesome!”

Clarke giggled and kissed her neck right above her steady pulse point. “I concede my ruthless, badass warrior. Vanilla is hardcore!”

Lexa smirked and went on. Skating her fingertips over Clarke’s arm to ease her into slumber sensing Clarke was trying to keep herself awake longer.

“I love reading about history and science, and I enjoy romance books as well. I’m a terrible skater but very skilled riding horses.”

“Yeah? I’ve never ridden a horse. I would love for you to teach me.” Clarke mumbled and yawned again.

“When this is all over, I uh… yeah I’d like that.” Lexa exhaled with resignation knowing there was not really a chance for that to happen. “I started to learn self-defense when I was 2 and Anya changed my sheets at 5 when I peed accidentally on the bed after a nightmare and never mocked me for that. I realized I liked girls when I was 8 because I couldn’t stop dreaming about this freckled cute girl from my math class.” Lexa made a pause and listened to Clarke’s breathing. “I like to bake pumpkin pie during fall, and I prefer to jog during the spring. I’ll cheer until the day I die for the Polis Warriors, and I admit your new single is my favorite so far.”

Lexa smiled with melancholy seeing how the blue-grey light of the first rays of sunlight started to filter through the curtains.

Time was up.

 

Lexa didn’t want to split from Clarke, but she had to before anyone came to check on the musician later on. She moved very slowly away from Clarke, prying her arm crushed by Clarke’s head free.

“And last,” Lexa whispered looking at the sleepy Clarke snuggling closer to the pillow Lexa previously used. “I fell in love with the most amazing, talented girl.” She kissed one last time Clarke’s temple.  “I fell in love with _you_.”

With a heavy heart, Lexa put on her scattered underwear and picked up her clothes, leaving behind the woman who owned her heart sleeping peacefully and fully sated in the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they did THAT ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Until next update!


	15. Chapter 15

Clarke was rehearsing for the last leg of the tour and it had been intense over the last 5 days. At least during the grueling rehearsals, Clarke could keep herself busy and not think about Lexa, because she would be lying if she said she was over and done with the woman after their one night stand.

 

Marcus decided to make some changes to her repertoire order to include the new single and also more special effects. Arkadia was satisfied with the sale numbers of her single, so they gave Marcus a budget boost, which he used by adding a multicolored laser show and new elements on stage. Clarke was not needed on stage during the technical installation.  

 

That left Clarke sitting backstage downing an admittedly unhealthy can of energy drink.  She considered it a necessary evil to make it through the endless rehearsals.  As soon as she sat down, her mind rushed into dangerous territory - Lexa. Lexa was being more guarded around her lately. Clarke wondered whether Lexa regretted what happened.  Did she did fuck up her relationship with her bodyguard.? What if she sucked in bed? What if Lexa didn’t want her anymore? Clarke was scared of the answers. She went over the details of that night again, looking for clues.

 

Not a second after waking up in her bedroom - alone - Clarke knew it was over. That was all she was going to get, and she was supposed to be okay with it. She used to do that all the time. Disappear before any of her lovers had awakened. Guess now she knew how it felt to be the one left behind.

 

However, not seeing Lexa in her bed when the sun shone high, not being able to touch or kiss her again felt wrong. The way Lexa claimed her that night wasn’t like anything she had ever felt before.  She was all consuming with her scorching lips and hands roaming over her body. And her eyes, they had been piercing her soul. It was as if Lexa could see beyond the flesh and right into her heart. Being that vulnerable was frightening, something that Clarke avoided at all costs.

 

But Lexa touched every fiber of her being.  Clarke could insist all she wanted that she liked Lexa mostly in a physical way. Yet, she had supposedly satisfied her physical lust, and now she craved her even more. Her skin - hard and pliant where needed, with calloused hands that touched her with reverie and wonder. Her smell - familiar and enticing, and the way she moaned softly, barely there whimpers, and her face when Lexa climaxed was the most beautiful thing Clarke had ever witnessed.

 

Clarke realized that her feelings went deeper than she anticipated or even wanted them to be for Lexa.  This new discovery made Clarke want to explore Lexa again - even against her self-preservation senses telling her to cut it off. She wanted to spend more time with Lexa in an intimate way - it was damn pleasurable, and Lexa was a skilled lover. One that could satisfy her needs and make her feel actually good about it.

 

“Okay, that works.” Bellamy raised his thumb to give his approval to the lights on stage. “We need to move the two giant screens a little higher!”

Bellamy’s words brought Clarke back to the present.  Wiping sweat off of her face with the back of hand, she looked around, trying to find Lexa, but of course the woman was nowhere to be seen. Clarke knew she was around, but Lexa used the shadows damn well to remain unseen.

“All good, Clarke?” Octavia pushed an empty box close to her and sat on top of it, distracting Clarke from her silent search for Lexa.

“Yeah, all good O. Thinking about the upcoming concerts.”

Patting her leg, Octavia smiled. “You’ll be great. You definitely have been getting better and better. I can see you’re more confident on stage. I think that since you started this image revamp and working on the new album you’ve been way more in touch with yourself like you were in the beginning. The fans go wild and you give one hell of a performance every night!”

Clarke took one last swig from her can before disposing of it in the nearby trash bin. “I feel more confident on stage. Less nerve-wracking than before. Also, having 50% of the new material in the bucket, that removes some stress as well.”

“Yeah, I’m really happy to see you rock the stage. But I still got the best view after all.”

“You do?”

“Yup, Wanheda’s booty.” Octavia winked laughing.

“Hey gals, I was thinking about having a small gathering at the hotel bar before we travel again.” Harper had a hand towel wrapped around her neck drinking happily from a water bottle.

“Harper please, we know you just want an excuse to make out with Monty!” Monroe appeared from behind, looping her arm around Harper’s shoulders.

“You go girl, get it!” Octavia raised her fist.

“Uhm, I’ll pass. I still need to finish packing and Marcus is driving me crazy already.” Clarke stretched her arms high, then she twisted her back to ease her muscles.

 

“Yooo ladies, could you go back on stage now that the tech guys are done?” Raven came from behind the black thick curtains that separated the main stage from the back. “I need to make some adjustments to the sound console again. I picked up some distortion in your previous round, and we need to test the new position of the speakers the tech people installed!”

“You got it, Reyes.” Octavia moved to her drums followed by Harper and Monroe who slung their instruments around their bodies.

“Alright, let’s start again from the midriff of _You’re The One_.” Clarke adjusted the strap of her Fender and strung it, adjusting the volume of her amplificator. “Let us know when you’re ready.”

Raven made her way back to the sound control area. “Hit it Octopus!”

“Gotcha!” Octavia strum her drums. “On four!”

Octavia hit the drumsticks four times and on cue the band started to play.

Clarke closed her eyes and focused on the sound they were making, on perfecting her voice to hit the notes she needed to.

She walked around the stage, losing herself in her guitar and vocals, in the combination of sounds and rhythm they were creating.

Clarke was so enraptured in her bubble, in her own world. Anything else around her was mute. In this world Clarke became Wanheda - the rock star, the idol, the one that fans cheered on.

 

“CLAAARKE!!!”

The band stopped playing abruptly.

“Move away!”

“Shiiiiit!”

“OH MY GOOD!”

Clarke opened her eyes due to the shouts and screams trying to find out what was taking her away from her world of music when she saw Lexa running at her. Before she could even open her mouth Lexa launched herself at her.

 

///

 

“Clarke?”

Clarke heard Lexa calling her. Concern full in her voice.

“Hmm?” Clarke mumbled. “Five more minutes, Lex.”

“Open your eyes for me. Come on.” Lexa said. Her hands caressing Clarke’s face softly.

Clarke did as Lexa told her, however, there was so much light she had to squint her eyes at first. “What the…?” She frowned seeing that her friends and staff were surrounding her, she was back in her dressing room, resting in a large sofa.

“What the fuck?” Clarke tried to sit but she felt dizzy.

“Easy. I got you.” Lexa helped her sit, supporting her back.

“Is she okay?” Bellamy asked.

“Dr. Jackson is on the way and we’ll know soon enough, for now don’t overwhelm her.” Lexa said to everyone crowding the rock star.

“What the hell happened?”

“Aah, one of the speakers fell off.” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck to avoid Clarke’s questioning look.

“A speaker fell off?” Clarke raised her brows up to the line of her forehead.

“Fell off my ass!” Raven snapped. “You were supervising Bell, you should have made sure the tech guys did a good job with the installation!” Raven balled her hands into fists. “That shit almost crushed Clarke. If it wasn’t for the commander’s superhero reflexes then she-”

“It looked sturdy!” Bellamy defended.

“Yeah, so sturdy it fell.” Octavia deadpanned.

“Alright people, calm down!” Marcus said loud and clear. “This isn’t the place to talk about this. Bell, I need you to handle some calls right now. I’ve got no idea how the press got wind of the incident already, but we can’t let them make a big deal out of this. Just inform the press it was a minor accident and Wanheda is ready for her concerts.”

“Alright, Marcus.”

“Raven, make sure the equipment around the stage is all set properly, and the band needs to go back to the hotel to get ready for tomorrow. We’re done for today!”

Everyone started to leave Clarke’s room as ordered by Marcus. Only the head of security and Marcus remained inside.

 

“How are you feeling, Clarke?” Marcus pulled a chair to sit close to Clarke.

“I’m okay, I guess. Can’t believe I was gonna get squashed by a speaker! I was playing my guitar and suddenly the staff were shouting my name; next, Lexa is tackling me on the ground. My head is a little wacky though.”

“You hit your head lightly when I pushed you out of the way, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa said as a form of explanation.

Lexa’s body was rigid and face impassive. Showing no emotion as usual, however, she could distinguish the dark circles by lack of sleep under Lexa’s gorgeous viridian eyes. Lexa had been working triple time along Anya and Lincoln and the exhaustion was already showing on the beautiful face of her bodyguard.

“Drive her back to the hotel as soon as Jackson checks her, Lexa.”

“Yes, sir!”

Marcus rested his hand on Clarke’s shoulder and gave her a soft squeeze. “I talked with Abby to let her know you’re okay. She’ll call you later.”

“Sure. Thanks Kane.”

“I’ll be in touch.” Marcus left the room leaving Clarke with Lexa.

 

“You should get changed before-”

“Aren’t we gonna talk about um, you know?” Clarke cut to the chase.

Lexa’s eyes searched hers. The forest green encased her in beautiful memories. Memories full of passion and carnal hunger but for now the important thing was the present and make sure everything was okay between them.

Lexa pressed her nose with the thumb and index, closing her eyes tiredly before meeting Clarke’s eyes. “I thought we were done after I left your bed.”

“Yes- I mean, no! Gosh Lexa, please don’t think I was using you.”

“I don’t.”

Clarke licked her lips, resting her forearms on her thighs, trying to come up with the right words to say. “Then what is it? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Clarke.” A simple answer but Clarke could feel how guarded and careful Lexa was being with her at the moment. It was awkward and she really didn’t want things to be like this with Lexa.

“Lexa, come on! Cut the BS!” Clarke wanted to reach her hand but she was afraid that if she dared to touch Lexa they would go back not one, but a thousand of steps back, at least not with Lexa being cautious. “Look, I know we agreed to keep it professional between us, but I’ve been wanting you for so long that at the first chance I took it. I’m sorry I fucked this up and if I ruined what we had then I’m deeply sorry for hur-” The musician began to ramble.

“Clarke, slow down. I’m not mad at you.”

“Then why are you suddenly keeping at me a distance, disappearing all the time?”

“I’m simply doing what Marcus hired me to do.” Lexa walked nearby Clarke and took the free spot on the couch. “Look, I made a decision too. It wasn’t the right one, but don’t apologize for something I _chose_ to do.” Lexa exhaled softly, and after a pause she added. “We can’t change what we did, but we can act now like responsible adults and move on.”

 

Clarke centered her attention on Lexa, immersing herself in those pretty eyes that were clearly shielded, closed off. It was like Lexa had an internal switch and she could turn it on and off at will.  It was a different version of Lexa from the one she held in her arms several nights ago.

“And what does it mean to be a responsible adult? Stop myself from wanting you? To forget we spent an amazing night together?” After a beat Clarke asked. “Is it because you regret it?”

“What? No, Clarke. I don’t regret any of it.” Lexa entwined her fingers with Clarke’s to prove her point, opening up a bit. “Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression because I’ve wanted it too. However, you _do_ understand that we cannot act upon these… desires again. It will ruin us.”

“I know the shitstorm of complications we’re going to encounter if anyone finds out but there’s nothing wrong with having a bit of fun!”

Lexa recoiled from her touch, her jaw was locked tight and Lexa was bringing her shields up again.

“I’m just saying that we both have jobs to focus on. As long as that duty rests on our shoulders there’s nothing else we can do. I crossed a line, Clarke. I put you at risk with my selfishness and-”

“Can you stop that? You’ve kept me safe! I’m not going to let you burden yourself for nothing. You’ve been a friend, a companion and a protector to me, Lexa. You saved my ass today again!”

“Clarke, you know that after what happened things have changed.”

Clarke took Lexa’s hand in hers again, squeezing it to transmit her certainty of what she felt. “Still, it doesn’t have to be weird between us. You’re important to me, Lexa, and I don’t wanna lose your friendship.”

“And you won’t, Clarke. I’ll always be with you. Watching and protecting you.” Lexa curved her lips, but it wasn’t that full blown smile Clarke was hoping to see. She really had no idea why Lexa was being so coy.

“Just because we slept together doesn’t mean we can’t remain friends, right?”

“Right.” Lexa seemed slightly dejected at the thought, or maybe Clarke was reading too much into her expression. “You have nothing to worry about regarding our friendship, Clarke.”

 

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Clarke jumped from the couch and moved to the chest of clothes in her dressing room while Lexa moved in the opposite direction, putting some respectful distance between them.

“Lexa?” Anya peeked inside the room. Her eyes scanning suspiciously Clarke first, then at Lexa.

“What is it?” Lexa said with her nonchalant face.

“Dr. Jackson is here.”  
“Right, umm, tell him to come inside. Ms. Griffin is ready.” Lexa walked to the door to exit, but not before offering a shy smile. “I’ll be out here if you need anything else, Ms. Griffin.”

Clarke let out a deep breath as soon as Lexa was out and with her, absence and emptiness in her heart.

 

///

 

_WANHEDA! WANHEDA! WANHEDA!_

The crowd chanted her name. It has been 2 hours of nonstop music. The screams of the audience increased as Clarke played her Fender with mastery, banging her head with the beat. Her band mates joined the improv session of rocking the hell out of it to say their goodbyes to this amazing crowd.

Clarke, being the crowd pleaser, moved to the edge of the stage. The fans extended her arms and they could touch her legs. She kneeled a bit as she kept playing, the sounds screeching through the speakers moving her fingers quickly and deftly through the cords riffing closure to her free play. She eyed her friends, to make sure they were all attuned.

Octavia began an open roll on closed hats losing speed and as soon as Clarke finished her statement Octavia grinded into a halt along the band.

The cheers were loud and the applauses nonstop. Soon the band left the stage leaving the rock star with her audience.

“Thank youuuu! You’ve been amazing tonight. Stay safe and may we meet again LA!” Clarke waved to the cheering crowd as she exited her stage for the last time in Los Angeles and met her security detail waiting for her on the side.

 

“Wanheda on her way to the dressing room.” Lexa said through her earpiece.

Clarke gave her guitar to Raven and high-fived her crew as she walked backstage.

“Good work out there Clarke!” Bellamy was pleased checking that everything was in order in his notepad. “We’ll begin packing for our next venue. Be ready tomorrow to depart!”

“Gotcha.”

Clarke continued to her dressing room. Everybody was exhausted after three days on a row of concerts but the love from the crowd was what kept her going forward. Clarke couldn’t ask for anything else in return. She was pleased, except for being back to the status quo with Lexa. That unresolved tension between them was still there, kept them on edge, mostly after a week of being distant with each other due to their responsibilities.

That didn’t deter Clarke from moving her ass way more than necessary during her live show making the audience go wild in shouts and provoke the woman behind the shadows.

 

Lexa stopped in front of the door signaling Anya to get inside to check the room first as they normally did.

Clarke stood awkwardly outside along with Lexa in a heavy silence, that is until Anya came back sporting a scowl very similar to Lexa’s.

“Wait repeat that, Linc?” Lexa pressed her commlink. “Keep him there, you hear me!? I’m on my way with Anya.”

“Stay inside and wait until I come back and get you. Don’t open the door to anyone else no matter what. Is that clear?” Lexa instructed Clarke while she encouraged her to get inside the room.

Clarke not understanding what is going on stopped. “Hold on a minute! What’s going on?”

“Later!” Lexa said with finality, guiding Clarke forward into the dressing room.

“Lexa, but-” Clarke turned around but she heard a _click_ before she could reach the knob. “What the fuck!?” Clarke went to try the knob but it was in vain, “Hey! Why am I getting locked in here!?” Clarke hit the door several times but to no avail.

“Fuck!”

 

The food and drinks post-concert left in her dressing room didn’t do much to calm her anxiousness. Being in the dark about what could be happening made her antsy as hell. Lexa had been more cautious with her since their last talk. Clarke had hoped that sleeping together haven’t affected their dynamic, but Lexa was keeping her distance, whether on purpose or not.

Her heart was giving her palpitations as her imagination conjured up all kinds of situations that Lexa may be facing at this moment. What if the stalker appeared and attacked Lexa? What if Lexa was hurt or worse?

Clarke had no idea how long she stayed in the dressing room drowning in the worst case scenarios she could imagine. She was getting tired of waiting with no news and zero communication from her staff when she heard Lexa’s voice thundering outside.

“My client doesn’t need your useless men! That bastard could have hurt anyone, and you let him in! Fix your shit or I will!”

“Ye-yes ma’am, right away!”

After a moment finally Lexa unlocked the door letting out an exhausted sigh walking inside before shutting the door again.

 

“Clarke, listen we need to-”

“How dare you!?” Clarke shoved Lexa’s shoulder making her stop from moving further. “How dare you lock me up like a fucking prisoner? Keeping me in the dark while you’re playing superhero outside!”

Lexa raised her hands to appease the blonde. “Clarke, that’s not what I did.”

“I can manage just fine without you over-protecting me like a child. I’m not a damn object you can push away when it’s convenient for you!”

“I’m only doing my job, Clarke. That means that you need to _listen_ to me!”

“You’re not my fucking boss! I’m not gonna be shoved aside while you’re risking your life!” Clarke fisted Lexa’s lapels of her suit jacket shaking the bodyguard a bit.

Lexa’s face was impassive, her cold green eyes - looking almost grey today - locked with her stormy blue. Lexa perked one single brow with that arrogance that oozed from time to time from the security detail.

“Clarke, you haven’t even seen me fight for real! I’m not risking my life!”

“I was dead worried about you…” Clarke gulped down, “and Anya and Lincoln! You’re all part of my crew and that makes it MY business!”

“Are you done?” Lexa asked with bite.

Clarke huffed indignantly. Clarke took a step closer fisting the red tie Lexa wore.

Both were having a staring contest and that tension between them was at the bursting point. Soon, clear emerald eyes became engulfed in black, flicking to lips and back up again. Fury, concern and want were exchanged in those brief seconds, though it felt like a lifetime. It seemed that their body language was more accurate when trying to communicate how they really felt.

Clarke knew that if she said more she was going to continue fucking it up. Instead, she went with her instincts.

 

“No.”

Clarke pulled from the tie, making Lexa lean forward and crashed her lips in a desperate kiss. It took less than a second for Lexa to unclench her muscles and melt into the kiss with the same frustration and desire that Clarke had inside.

Lexa’s hands were embracing her and resting on her lower back, pressing them closer. Clarke licked Lexa’s lower lip, hoping to deepen the kiss.

Lexa opened up for Clarke, letting her in and Clarke swiped her tongue up to the roof of Lexa’s mouth taking but also giving as much. Lexa split for a second to change the angle of the kiss and Clarke laced her arms around the base of Lexa’s head, bringing them infinitely closer.

Lexa slid her hands on the backside of the singer and behind her thighs, just enough to get leverage and lifted the blonde.

Clarke enjoyed that maneuver, guaranteed. Gaining more altitude allowed her to kiss Lexa at a steeper angle. Lexa moved them right towards the couch and lowered Clarke with care before hovering above her. Keeping her weight off with her arms, on each side of Clarke’s head.

Clarke reached for her neck bringing her mouth back.

They kissed messily - pure desire, hunger and lust all mixed together in their touches, but mostly, a horrifying concern that Clarke had been harvesting in her confinement for the bodyguard. Lincoln and Anya hadn’t even cross her mind.

Clarke hooked her legs around Lexa’s waist bringing their cores as close as they could through all their garments. She needed to feel Lexa’s skin, to dig her fingers in the tan supple skin of the brunette. She began pulling the knot of Lexa’s tie, easing the knot little by little until it was loose enough to remove it, throwing it blindly. Now it was easier to pop the top buttons of the collar of Lexa’s already wrinkled white shirt. Clarke slid her hands over Lexa’s shoulders to remove her suit jacket completely and discarded it somewhere behind the couch; her hand grazed Lexa’s ribs going lower to get rid of the shirt but as she did Lexa hissed in pain pulling away from Clarke.

 

Lexa was gasping for air. She removed herself completely from above Clarke and took the corner of the couch to gather her breath.

“Fuck!” Lexa mumbled as she recovered.

Clarke sat at a distance observing the brunette, looking at how she flexed her fingers and grinded her jaw in inner conflict. Then, she caught up what was the reason why Lexa pulled away in pain. There was a red stain on her shirt, clearly visible from this angle.

“Holy shit! You’re hurt!”

Lexa turned her face to look at Clarke. She snapped out of her turbulent thoughts and realized what Clarke was looking at.

“Hmm, It looks like it.” Lexa frowned observing the small red spot on her shirt. “I ah, it’s just a scratch. The adrenaline might have helped to numb the pain.”

“A scratch? Lexa that thing is soaking your shirt! What the fuck happened out there!?”

Lexa shook her head and curved her lips a tiny bit. She began buttoning her shirt and stood up to tuck it back inside her pants, next she picked up her suit jacket and buttoned it up, hiding again the wound. Lexa calmly grabbed the tie thrown on the floor, reattaching it around her neck.  “I’m good. Promise.”

”Lexa sometimes you’re ridiculous. You’re not invincible!”

“Please…” Lexa shrugged with that cocky smirk again. “A knife wound won’t beat me, Clarke.”

“Well sorry, Commander. I assumed you were severely injured. My mistake.” Clarke rolled her eyes. Lexa could be too overconfident sometimes.

 _Which is very sexy,_ Clarke thought.

Lexa chuckled before composing herself. “Ms. Griffin, please get changed so we can get going. Now I ah, I’ll wait in the SUV, Anya will stay outside.” Lexa didn’t wait for a rebuttal and was out the door in a second.

“Great! There she goes again.”

 

///

 

Clarke took a long bath and changed into comfier clothes. After her concert last night her body was drained of all energy. The good vibe during the show was already gone, and Clarke was left with her ruminations in the early morning before her return to her beach house to finish packing her personal belongings. Bellamy was already on his way with her bandmates to their next venue.

 

She dressed in ragged jeans and a tshirt with a triquetra design in white contrasting with the black of her shirt. Her door was knocked twice, “Clarke, let’s get going!” Raven said.

“Coming!” Clarke grabbed her backpack with her songbook and wallet and opened the door to meet her best friend smiling widely.

“All set up, Clarke. Lexanya are waiting for you.”  
“Lexanya? Raven how the hell do you come up with these silly names?” Clarke shut her door and began walking towards the elevator to meet her two bodyguards.

“They love it, so I don’t care what you think of it.” Raven shrugged and pushed the botton to their next floor.

“They don’t! They’re very polite Reyes, that’s all.”

“Eff you, Griffin. You’re jealous I’m getting praised.”

The lift began its descent and once the doors opened they continued their walk.

“You wish, Raven.”

“Sooo, what’s up with you and that dumb as fuck smile lately?” Raven arched her brow, she dug her hands in her the pockets of her red jacket looking at Clarke with hilarity.

“What smile?” Clarke hadn’t realize that indeed she was smiling due to her soon encounter with Lexa. Just looking at the woman made her smile. She was starting to get beyond ridiculous.

Raven pointed at her face. “That one, dumbass. You think your stealthy but you suck at it, Clarke.” Raven knocked. “Hey cheekbones, the package is here!”

“They get Lexanya and I get the package?” Clarke pouted.

Raven shrugged again chuckling.

 

“Hey, good morning ladies.” Anya was the one who opened the door to Clarke’s disappointment. The dirty blonde was already dressed in her tailored suit, looking as good as Lexa.

“Morning.” Clarke replied.

“Come in.” Anya stepped back letting the two women inside her room. The double beds were already made and everything was in complete order. It was obvious how disciplined those two were.

Lexa was sitting on a small desk, tablet in hand. She turned around and said to Anya “Can’t get the feed. Not sure if a cable is loose but I don’t want to risk it after yesterday.”

“Right, ahm, I’ll go ahead and report back when I’m on site before you drive Ms. Griffin there then.”

“What’s up?” Raven leaned over her shoulder.

“The security camera in the backyard of Ms. Griffin’s vacation home is having issues. Anya is going to head first and check everything is in order before I drive Ms. Griffin.” Lexa explained.

“Hmm, alright. Let’s get going, cheekbones.”

Anya raised her hands. “Wooah, who invited you Raven?”

“Come on Anya. You got the best sound engineer slash mechanic around in a 300 mile radius. Whatever it is I can fix it.”

Anya laughed gingerly which to Clarke was a weird event. The only thing she got from Anya were death glares and threats.

“Okay, genius. You buy the breakfast on the way though.”

“My pleasure, grounder princess.” Raven waved goodbye to Clarke and Lexa and departed with Anya in full conversation mode.

 

That’s when Clarke noticed she was going to be alone with Lexa at least for the next 2 hours if traffic was heavy towards her beach house. Maybe 3 if Raven took her time having breakfast with Anya.

Lexa cleared her throat and stowed away the rest of her equipment in her messenger bag.

“Did you rest well?”

Clarke moved to one of the beds and sat on it. “Yeah, slept like a corpse.”  
Lexa nodded pleased. “That’s good.”

“How’s the wound?”

“Better.” Lexa said nonchalantly.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened yesterday?”

Lexa exhaled and nodded again, before she continued. “Finn Collins trespassed the security with an unauthorized journalist pass during last night’s concert. He was, umm, to put it mildly, aggressive.”  
That sounded wrong. Finn would never lift a hand on anyone, much less be violent. However, Clarke thought about the wound on Lexa’s lower abdomen. “Oh God, did he attack you?”

“He demanded to see you when he was caught by Linc. He obviously denied Finn entrance to the backstage, and he tried to punch him.  But Lincoln controlled him and when I got there Finn lost it, shouting improper things. I tried to deal with him in a calm manner in private when he pulled a knife catching me by surprise. I subdued him and the local security removed Finn. Lincoln is speaking with Mr. Collins now to find out how and why he was there. Marcus was beyond pissed trying to contain a PR disaster. He threatened to sue the private security of the venue if any news appeared of that incident. Luckily nothing has been published about it.”

“Plus, you threatened them too.”

“It wasn’t a threat.” Lexa stated curling her lips a bit.

 

“I don’t understand. He- he never acted like that, he… I can’t believe it.”

“He was very angry.” Lexa swallowed, “He was mad that you could replace him with a bitch like me.”

“What?”

“He affirmed he was going to get you back no matter what, so he attacked me. You know, remove the lesbian from the equation so the bi girl ends up with the guy.” Lexa joked trying to hide how she was feeling regarding this mess. Lexa pulled from her wrist a hair tie and began tying her wavy hair in a messy bun. That’s when Clarke spotted the fading hicky on Lexa’s slender neck. She didn’t remember the details of their night together, but now that she saw the purple fading bruise her ego was definitely stroked. She liked seeing evidence of their tryst in Lexa’s skin.

“Wait, did Finn or umm… did Anya?”

Lexa tilted her head confused, only when her eyes widened slightly Clarke knew understanding reached her. She was quick to finish buttoning up her shirt being self-conscious. “No one has seen it. Nobody will know we had sex, Clarke. Relax!” Lexa said with a very defensive tone, grinding her jaw as a result of the offense taken.

Clarke realized her mistake. Lexa would never betray her like that. Lexa would never expose them to the press, that was not the kind of woman Lexa was.

_What an idiot, Griffin. Way to go about it._

Of course, Clarke missed completely the reason why Lexa took the offense in the first place.

 

“Sorry, Lexa. Wrong thing to say.”

“I know the label executives could give you trouble if anyone learned about your... _preferences._ ” Lexa grabbed a grey tie from a hanger to put it on with her back to Clarke, but Clarke was quick to catch the slight hurt in her eyes. Clarke tried to explain “I am just shocked that Finn would behave that way and how he could have found out about us.”

“I get it Clarke and regarding your ex; I don’t think he found out about us.  I believe someone might have messed with Finn’s head on purpose. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s this ‘stalker’ of yours.”

“So Finn is not the weirdo?

“No. We’ve been tracing everything this person has done so far. It started with the fanmail. The flowers and the limo added a more creepy side to this story, but the method was very professional and calculated. The purpose was to make it seem that indeed it was a fan, but what if it’s not? I realized it was to see how we reacted. If we tightened up your security or if you stopped going to your events. It was to study our protocols. Now, they tried another approach, use someone who had a connection to you.”

“Finn, but why?”

“You’re the target for a very specific reason.” Lexa walked to her messenger bag and pulled out some documents showing them to Clarke. “If we look at the timetable everything began mid tour. Whoever is behind has been watching you through the media lense. Trying to approach you in very subtle ways.”

“But why me? I’ve been working nonstop so I doubt I pissed anyone enough to do all of this.”

“This is a personal matter to them. In the past 4 months I think something happened that angered this person enough to take a direct approach and began testing the waters with the fanmail. Now they know they won’t get to you unless it’s through any of us in your team. They will make a move soon now that the media published your imminent departure from the city. We just have to wait.” Lexa was looping her belt when she flinched. Immediately the shirt got stained with red.

“Shit!” Lexa complained with a roll of her eyes.

 

“Lexa, let me take a look.” Clarke stood up and reached for the first aid kit. Lexa didn’t cooperate right away. Her hesitation was  clear by the way she looked at Clarke.

“Let me see. You don’t have to build walls around me, Lexa.”

Lexa, defeated, removed her tie and already stained shirt, leaving her in a very cute white bra.

She rested her hand on Lexa’s sculpted cheekbone. “You’ve been working harder than anyone, barely sleeping. Stop worrying for a second about your duty, Lexa. Can you for once let someone else take care of _you_?”

Lexa gave one single nod and Clarke got to work. She pulled Lexa to the bed and used the first aid kit to clean the wound, putting pressure to stop the mild bleeding. Next, she wrapped it up in gauze after disinfecting it. The only evidence of pain was the slight contraction of her abs.

Now that Clarke was done she knew she had to take a step back. Instead she slid her fingertips over the hard abdomen of the brunette tenderly, stopping at that old bullet wound. Tracing soothing circles over with her thumb first to then kiss it.

“Clarke…” Lexa croaked, barely able to speak with this closeness.

Clarke centered her attention back into Lexa’s face. She sat right beside her and nuzzled her nose over the bare neck, inhaling that marvelous scent that was all Lexa - the clean scent of her soap and that vanilla/coffee scent.

“Lexa. We can’t deny this. The facts are simple: we’re attracted to each other.”

Her eyes had that fire Clarke loved to see burning in them, the green vanishing and becoming surrounded by a deep black. However, there was something else about the way Lexa looked at her, it wasn’t just the lust but something more that Clarke was having a hard time to interpret.

 

Clarke tilted Lexa’s chin softly, holding her in place and moved her lips just above Lexa’s lips, barely grazing them.

“Clarke...” Lexa warned with a shaky voice. Evidence of how much she was affecting the stoic woman.

“Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.”

After a beat, “You know I won’t.”

Lexa leaned to kiss her and God it was incredible. Like fireworks blew up in the back of her eyelids as she tasted Lexa’s plump lips in a slow cadence. So soft, tender and sweet. It was this juxtaposition that amazed Clarke. That a hard, tough woman like Lexa could kiss her this delicately.

Lexa pulled away to catch her breath. “This isn’t a game we can play and not end up scorched.”

“I’m not playing, Lexa. Ranya won’t reach my house in another…” Clarke checked her father’s watch on her wrist for a split second.  “At least another hour and a half. We can use that time wisely”

Lexa curled her lips. “Raven is not a good influence on you, Clarke.”

Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa’s neck where the fading bruise was. “Sorry about this.” She kept leaving open-mouthed kisses along the length of Lexa’s neck up to her earlobe, where she sucked.

“I don't- I don’t mind.” Lexa closed her eyes allowing the sensations of Clarke’s kisses burn her.

“Good, because I plan to leave some more if you let me.” Clarke held Lexa’s face steadily, waiting for rejection. Giving more time for Lexa to push her away.

“We’re bound by duty. Contracts, your sponsors, there’s a lot at stake here!”

“Why don’t we stop overthinking and go with what we want? Let’s simply take this for what it is - a maddening attraction that we both feel! Can you stop using your head for once and think with your heart? This doesn’t have to complicate things between us. We can enjoy this and be diligent with our responsibilities.”

“Is this something you really want?” Lexa asked.

“I wouldn’t lie about this, Lexa. I mean every word. We just have to be careful, that’s all.”

Lexa looked at her for some time, probably trying to see any deceit in her eyes but Clarke was being honest. She really liked Lexa and she wanted to continue this thing they started.

“God knows how hard it has been for me staying put and not acting upon my desires. I wasn’t wrong, you’re going to be the end of me, Clarke Griffin.”

 

Clarke kissed her with all her might and Lexa replied just the same. And it felt damn right. She was back in between Lexa’s arms. A place where she actually felt she belonged.

Lexa crawled on top, her mouth chasing Clarke’s instantly. They kissed as if oxygen was inside the other, hands moved to familiar places where skin melted at the barest contact. Hips moved in sync seeking that friction they so much needed.

Clarke stopped Lexa and rolled them over. “Let _me take_ care for you _._ ”

Lexa gave her consent with a “Please,” and Clarke was quick to claim those already swollen lips she craved in her lonely nights, because these past days had been hellish for the musician. Not being this close to Lexa after they slept together had been a punishment. Even when she was scared as hell of what this could mean, Clarke couldn’t deny herself this. An opportunity to be with Lexa and find the answers she was seeking.

Clarke was going to explore every inch of skin she had available, as she deftly unzipped Lexa’s trousers to reach where she desperately wanted. To hear Lexa’s moans underneath her, Lexa’s breath on her neck as they pushed and pulled each other, getting rid of every bothersome piece of garment they had.

Clarke moved below, leaving a trail of more wet kisses, even a tender one over the bandage she recently patched. Lexa’s moans encouraging her to keep going to her destination whilst long fingers entangled on blonde and pink hair. When Clarke settled between Lexa’s slender legs that opened wider for her. This is right where she wanted to spend most of the day.

Their first night together was just the beginning of something that Clarke wanted to unravel.

A first of many she had hoped. To rediscover the experience of being with Lexa, to feel every inch of skin on fire. It was almost as a new addiction she was developing.

And everyone knows what addictions can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers! I'm back with another update. I want to apologize for the wacky messed up schedule. My friend and beta cos-geek-monkey went through a difficult surgery recently and is recovering slowly and improving bit by bit. She is still trying her best to bring you this story to you but it will be at her own pace. We will try to get back on track but I don't want to make any promises. So you'll get an update when time and health allows it.
> 
> As usual thank you for your kindness kru,
> 
> Tana


	16. Chapter 16

“Fuck, Lexa!” Clarke whined on the pillow that muffled her loudness. Lexa wouldn’t mind hearing Clarke being this vocal about what she was doing to her in bed, but they were in a hotel where walls were pretty thin. Still, hearing the blonde muster her name delighted her senses.

Lexa was behind her on her knees, holding the musician’s hips in place while she rhythmically thrusted two fingers as deep and faster as she could go. Fucking Clarke from this angle allowed her to reach new depths and Clarke was so slick for her that it was easy to keep the punishing pace.

Lexa slid her free hand over the expanse of Clarke’s sweaty back caressing her slowly, next she moved forward to release an onslaught of tiny kisses on her spine, still keeping her thrust consistent, aiding the motion with her own hips.

The raspy sound of Clarke’s moans as she said her name over and over like a prayer was indescribable. Seeing her golden pink hair, beautiful like the sun, splayed on the pillows, made Lexa’s desire for the musician skyrocket. Clarke was beautiful in her most raw form.

“Ah, aah, Lexa. Right there, fuck!”

 

Anything Clarke wanted, however she wanted, Lexa would give, because Clarke was hers.  The girl who stole her heart in the blink of an eye. By now, Lexa knew most of the secret places that made Clarke squirm in pleasure, and the places not to touch. It’s like she had been learning a new language, the ‘Clarke language’ -  interpreting her whimpers and moans and following accordingly, nipping and sucking as the blue-eyed girl demanded more and more.

“Lexa, agh. I’m gonna-”

The inner muscles began to clamp around her fingers, a sign of how close Clarke was.

Lexa hips started to falter as well, but Clarke had to come first. Lexa motioned her hand over Clarke’s thigh, tracing the supple curve of her ass before she looped her hand around her soft stomach. She reached the underside of her breast and soon her thumb and forefinger were squeezing a pink hard nipple, making her moan harder. She tended one breast and then the next, feeling Clarke’s reactions whilst she pushed deeper, curving her fingers to reach that spot that would drive Clarke into full pleasure.  Lexa laid on top of Clarke, to be able to kiss Clarke’s neck whispering sweet nothings while she fucked her hard. Clarke bucked her hips to meet her thrust by thrust.

At this point both were breathing hard, gasping for air and Lexa knew Clarke was right on the edge, she let go of Clarke’s luscious breast running her fingertips over her belly before she reached her pussy. Stroking her clit with her fingertips and curving the ones inside was the combination that made Clarke fall, and Lexa was right there to catch her.

 

Clarke tensed and was moaning, her hoarse voice echoing in the bedroom.

Lexa grinded her hips faster against Clarke’s bottom, the contact between that perfect ass and her clit taking Lexa high a moment later. Lexa slumped on top of Clarke, reducing the speed of her fingers inside the drenched channel and massaging Clarke’s clit softly bringing the blonde down slowly before pulling out completely.

“Holy fuck, Lex. That was- that was fucking amazing. Shit!” Clarke’s knees gave up and she dropped fully on the bed, twitching a bit after the aftershocks of her climax. “Those fingers of yours are fucking magic!”

Lexa slumped right beside Clarke avoiding crushing her with her weight. “Glad to be of service.” Lexa joked weakly, exhausted from their activity.

“Give me one minute and I’ll repay in kind.” Clarke promised.

 

///

 

Clarke was sucking with greed, her hands holding Lexa’s thighs leaving barely there crescent moon marks while she enjoyed taking her time leaving kisses and nipping the skin before returning to the glistening folds waiting to be eaten.

Lexa fisted the sheets with one hand and the other was attached to the Clarke’s silky hair. Trying to persuade her to go back to where she needed her.

“Patience, lover. Let me clean every spot with my tongue.” Clarke said through hooded eyes. She lapped again slowly, moaning at the now familiar tangy taste, never removing her eyes from Lexa.

She screwed her eyes at the impending tremors that Clarke was causing with her tongue; sucking with her sinful lips and licking her vulva like it was the most delicious dessert.

“Clarke, please…” Lexa begged, maybe that way Clarke would pity her, but she only heard the chuckle from between her thighs and not a second after, a tongue was piercing her welcoming channel.

“Ugh, god Claaaarke!” Lexa wasn’t going to last at all if Clarke kept going like that, and the blonde knew by the way her shoulders shook with laughter.

Moving with expertise her tongue Clarke created more pressure with the help of her fingertips on the already swollen bundle of nerves. Clarke fucked her with confidence, turning Lexa into a puddle of desperation. sinking her tongue and quickly pulling it out to lap all the way up to her clit and back inside. She pushed once, twice and soon Lexa was coming chanting Clarke’s name.

 

Clarke coaxed her with affection, bringing the brunette down from her climax until Lexa was completely limp on the bed.

Clarke was smiling from ear to ear, swiping her tongue around her lips, her chin glistening with Lexa’s cum on her face like a trophy she was proud to carry. “Babe, you almost ripped my scalp but boy how worth it.” The blonde rubbed her head still smiling, no mean intention in her words.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. I ah, I didn’t know I was pulling too hard.”

“Don’t worry, I really like this side of you. It’s not every day that I can see the fierce commander being this cute.”

“Cute? Clarke, I’m anything but cute.” Lexa rolled her eyes, yet she was fighting a smile.

“Okay, not cute. My badass warlord then.” Clarke bit her lower lip. “The thing is that I really like seeing you this free, Lexa. You can let go with me.”

“I know, Clarke.”

“I gave you my word I was gonna take care of you.” Clarke crawled back up to Lexa’s level and slumped beside her. “Come here, Commander. Let me hold you.”

Lexa chuckled shaking her head as she rolled over to rest on Clarke’s chest tucking her head underneath Clarke’s chin. Clarke enveloped Lexa with her arms, keeping her as close as she could to enjoy the afterglow of her orgasm, draping the sheets over their drenched bodies to keep comfortable.

With legs entangled and bodies sated they remained in a comfortable silence.

 

The calm after the storm, breathing now more controlled, skin still sensitive and the smell of sweat and sex impregnated into the bedsheets.

Lexa felt sorry for whoever had to come and clean this bed after they left. They’ve been at it for a good hour.

 

Lexa kissed Clarke’s collarbones nudging closer to the warmth of the rock star who moved her fingertips over Lexa’s arm tattoo, still smiling in contentment. She closed her eyes adjusting a little to let herself relax without bothering Clarke too much. Relishing this moment was very surreal. Lexa couldn’t understand how she ended up in bed with Clarke. They were so different in the way they managed themselves to the outside world but for some reason when alone it was as if they synced like clocks.

Lexa and Clarke worked so well because they balanced each other out. The strength and weakness each had were counterbalanced by the other. It was a perfect harmony, even in the way they had sex, they matched each other.

When Clarke wanted release she sought it fast. Clarke was like a rush of endorphins after eating chocolate; more like a thunderstorm, claiming and taking everything in its path. This Clarke was wild, a beast that wanted nothing but to conquer. And conquer she did.

And Lexa. Lexa would touch Clarke ever so softly because she was afraid her tainted hands would destroy what she loved the most. Lexa had hurt bad people, or at least that’s the posture the bodyguard always assumed. She protected people for a living. It didn’t matter if they were in the right or in the wrong. If they requested protection she provided it. Lexa’s hands were capable of inflicting lethal damage, even death, so to be able to touch someone as holy as Clarke was for her almost cleansing. Lexa felt her burdens lessen when Clarke smiled or moaned because of her. Therefore, she took her time, being as soft as she could with this girl sent from the heavens to show her there was so much more out there. More than just surviving as she was starting to learn.

 

However, Lexa knew this was a fleeting thing. Something meant to be kept between the sheets. This agreement of sorts wasn’t meant to last beyond the time they could squeeze in between interviews and concerts on the tour. For Clarke, this was nothing but entertainment. A moment where they could stop for a minute and have fun. Enjoy a good time with a friend and at the end of the day they would be back in their respective beds.

And still, knowing this was her reality Lexa dared to hope.

Yes, it was a very stupid thing to do in her case, being fully aware she was leaving in no time.

 _Fuck,_ Lexa had almost forgot she was meant to depart soon.

The least she could do was being honest just as Clarke was truthful. Lexa had to return that trust, no matter the outcome. But she was afraid. Lexa feared Clarke’s reaction. No guns or death threats could scare Lexa, no more than Clarke’s rejection.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Clarke kissed the top of her head rubbing stronger her back. “You tensed up for a minute there.”

“Nothing. I uh I was thinking.” Lexa split from Clarke instantly missing the warm cocoon they made to sit on the bed.  She crossed her legs and waited until Clarke was leaning on the headboard.

“I told you not to overthink, Lexa. You’re going to drive yourself mad. Let’s take this one day at a time and when the tour concludes we can analyze the meaning of this.” Clarke entangled her hand with Lexa’s. Running her thumb over her knuckles.

“Aah, um, speaking of that Clarke. I need to tell you something.”

“You can tell me anything, Lexa. BUT…” Clarke made an abrupt stop. “I’m gonna have to change that first.” Clarke pointed to the bandage on Lexa’s lower abdomen. “It’s barely holding as it is.”

Lexa chuckled. “Whose fault is that?”

“Yup, guilty as charged.” Clarke grinned kissing Lexa’s hand. Next, she jumped from the bed to get the first aid kit. Swaying her naked ass way more than necessary and Clarke knew it by the smirk on her face.

“Like what you see?” Clarke returned with the small box and sat on the bed.

Lexa had to pull herself out of her stupor. She was such a horny teen when around Clarke. Practically drooling on the bed watching her walk like that.

“Very much, but listen. I need to tell you something important. When- when we get to San Fran-”

_RING RING! RING RING!_

“Whoops. Is it Anya?”

“No, it’s Linc. Give me a minute.” Lexa jumped out of bed and headed to the restroom. Lexa shut the door behind her before she pressed to connect the call.

 

“Hey Linc, what’s up? What did Mr. Collins say?” Lexa looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Clarke was more than enthusiastic today, leaving a couple of bite marks on her shoulder and collarbone. Her ass had half-moon marks left by the blonde as well. Clarke didn’t waste time at all leaving mementos in every part of her body. Felt kind of possessive, but Lexa didn’t mind that at all.

“He got a picture of you and Clarke plus a note.”

 “What- what kind of picture?” She gulped down.

“It’s just the two of you laughing, like on the way to a venue. Red circles around your faces targeting you. The note states how much Wanheda enjoys your company instead of his. It seems Clarke has been followed for some time by the look of the picture.”

Lexa sighed relieved it wasn’t anything compromising, but she was furious that someone tailed them without her noticing. “And Collins got angry because I got along with Clarke, is that it?”

“Yeah, he seems remorseful now. He admits his jealousy made him act stupidly.”

“Well, Collins will spend some time in prison to think about his stupid actions. Anything he might know about the sender?”

“He has no idea who left the envelope. I’m checking right now through not so legal means to check the video feed. My sources should get back to me soon.”

“Okay, keep me posted Linc. Anya should be checking the security in the beach house now, and I’ll take Clarke there soon. We’ll meet there to debrief.”

“See you soon.” With that Lincoln hung up.

 

Lexa ended the call and returned to the bedroom.

“Hey, what’s up?” Clarke looked over her shoulder.

“Finn received a picture of us. Nothing compromising but a message gave him the push he needed to be bold.”

“Still can’t believe Finn. I guess now he will deal with the consequences of his actions.” Clarke sighed, “Now, Ms. Woods let’s shower so I can clean that wound before Anya calls.”

“Is that right, Ms. Griffin?” Lexa arched her brow, her eyes already raking the naked body of the rock star.

“Yup, you got yourself a personal doctor now, Commander.” Clarke grabbed clean towels and slapped Lexa’s ass on her way to the shower. “Last one to get in the shower has to be eaten by the winner!”

Lexa laughed heartily, “You’re insatiable, Griffin!”

“Come and give it to me, Woods!”

And Lexa did.

 

///

 

“Clarke you should have sat in the back.” Lexa was on the highway to meet her partner and Raven now that Anya had performed a security check.

They departed the hotel but not before Clarke was photographed by fans and press alike during their exit and now were on their way to the beach house to pack and leave to the airport.

“And I told you you’re not my chauffeur, Lexa. Also, I called dibs on the radio.” Clarke tuned to another station after hearing they were going to play an Ontari song as she placed her hand on Lexa’s thigh.

“This isn’t professional, Clarke.”

“I don’t care about professionalism right now.” Clarke stopped at another radio station and left her hand on Lexa’s thigh.

Clarke wasn’t doing anything invasive, much less now that Lexa was at the wheel. Yet, the weight of her hand made Lexa’s stomach flutter. It felt right to have Clarke’s hand resting comfortably on her thigh as if they were a couple driving to their vacation home.

Lexa shook her head. She hated that her mind tended to wander more and more towards that possibility – which she knew was remote.

“As soon as we go into the house we do have to be more professional, Clarke. Anya can smell deceit a mile away, and if she sees us acting different it won’t take much for her to draw the right conclusion.”

Clarke leaned in and pecked Lexa’s cheek. “Alright, babe. I’ll behave.”

 

Lexa giggled, stealing a glance at the beautiful girl on the passenger’s seat before returning her eyes back to the road. Clarke was smiling moving her head side to side to the rhythm of the song now being played on the radio. She seemed at ease and even looked like she glowed.

“Come on Lexa. Sing with me!” Clarke fisted her hand like if she was holding an invisible microphone and began singing the pop song.

“Aaah, no I’ll pass.” Lexa couldn’t help but to curve her lips seeing Clarke this happy.

“Oh don’t be lame, Woods! It’s just me here. I’m not gonna mock your singing.” Clarke moved her hand towards Lexa’s face encouraging her to sing to the invisible microphone.

Lexa shook her head. “Clarke I need to get you to the beach house, stop distracting me!”

“You’re so boring, uuuugh. Okay then, I’ll sing without your help.”

Clarke was good, changing from lead vocals to background and back to lead. She even sang with the drums. Lexa enjoyed the brief show of the blonde singing with that beautiful raspy voice of hers. Pop sounded good on her mouth, but that voice was definitely made for rock.

 

“Heeey! That’s me!” Clarke squealed like a little girl, excited to hear her new single on the radio. The song had been number one since its debut in the radio station’s weekly countdown.

She started to sing along. “This is for you, Woods!” Clarke winked and began swaying her body however she could under the protection of the seatbelt, singing with enthusiasm and banging her head. Exaggerating her moves just a tad making a funny and endearing private presentation.

Lexa did know the lyrics, and Clarke’s funny faces and exaggerated motions made her relent, singing the background vocals.

Clarke opened her mouth like a fish, clearly surprised that Lexa did know the lyrics. The surprise quickly passed, and Clarke soon sang with Lexa in unison. Obviously, Lexa was a crappy singer, but Clarke didn’t seem to mind that. Her heart jumped in happiness.

This made it more difficult for Lexa’s heart to separate what was real and what was not. She did want to believe this could be everlasting.

 

After a couple of hours driving, stopping only to get coffee and bagels they reached the coast, Lexa was turning into the driveway to head to the vacation home.

“Lexa! Wait!”

“What is it Clarke?”

“Can we go to the harbor? There’s an art festival today. I was hoping we could go for a bit.”

Lexa eyed Clarke with seriousness. “You know we are on a schedule. It’s almost noon and we have to get on the road soon.”

Clarke joined her hands, in a praying stance. “Pleeeeaaase?” Clarke batted her long eyelashes, making an endearing pout at the same time. “Do it for me?”

Lexa was a goner. Of course, she wasn’t going to deny the woman anything. She was powerless.

“We’re stopping for no more than half an hour, Clarke.”

“Yay!” Clarke kissed Lexa’s lips briefly and returned to her seat happily.

Lexa took them to the harbor and parked. “Let me call Anya first.”

Lexa punched her partner’s number, but it didn’t seem like Anya was around. “Weird.” Next, Lexa pressed her comlink. “Anya, you there? Clarke and I are stopping at the harbor. Anya?”

“She might be busy with Raven.” Clarke took Lexa’s hand. “We won't take long, Commander.”

“I’ll text Lincoln. One sec.”

**_LWoods (11:47am): I’m stopping with Clarke at the harbor, can you head to the beach house and check on Anya?_ **

**_Linc (11:49am): Yeah, gotchu. I’m omw. ETA 2 hrs._ **

“Ok, let's go.” Lexa got out of the car along with Clarke.

 

“Woah, wait a minute. You can’t go in like you’re the secret service, Lexa. It’s gonna be obvious.” Clarke approached the bodyguard and pulled the wine-colored jacket off her shoulders. “A casual look will do.” She unknotted the matching tie and removed it as well, opening next the top buttons of her shirt. Clarke took a step back. “Yup, now roll your sleeves aaaand…” Clarke moved to her side and pulled the hair pin out of her updo to let her chestnut hair loose. “Beautiful, now toss that gun and we’re ready.” Clarke untangled Lexa’s wavy long hair, running her fingers through the beautiful mane and pecked her lips before pulling away.

“Clarke! We’re in public!” Lexa’s ears were turning a bright red.

“Lexa, no one could have seen it. It was quick. Let's have fun!”

Clarke put on tinted sunglasses and hid her hair with a baseball cap. She offered her hand to Lexa who stowed her holster with her gun in the glove box first and made sure she had her hidden knife strapped on her ankle just in case before she accepted the gesture.

 _It’s not real, It’s not real._ Lexa had to recite that mantra in her head because her heart was not getting the message.

There was no Clarke and Lexa. It was an illusion.

 

///

 

There were lots of people around, mostly families and tourists stopping at the food carts and drinking and eating pastries at the small coffee shops in the vicinity. There were some artists around doing small musical performances, others were doing juggling shows for the public.

The view was beautiful from the harbor, the sun was high and the breeze was fresh, the combined scents of the ocean and the food on sale made for a perfect environment. People were minding their own business, which allowed Lexa to relax some while Clarke kept dragging her to the core of the art festival.

Soon they reached tents that were displaying paintings and sculptures.

Clarke let go of Lexa’s hand to appreciate the pieces on display up close. Clarke was like a little girl in a candy store. Her face was filled with awe and wonder.

They moved from stall to stall, enjoying the interesting, lively pieces.

“My dad and I used to go to a small art fair like this one back home.” Clarke said, moving to the next frame. “He loved all kinds of art. He taught me to love it when I was a kid.”

Lexa followed Clarke listening to the blonde share a bit of a past that was bittersweet by the slight crack of her voice.

“From visual to performing arts. My dad loved it all, but the one thing that connected us both was music.”

Lexa rested her hand over Clarke’s shoulder offering some comfort.

 

“I ah, I never got a knack for arts, but I do enjoy sports. Anya took me to my first Polis Warriors game ever. It was a birthday gift. I turned 10, and Titus was so busy that day that he wasn’t going to be able to celebrate with me. That was one of the most special days ever and the day I decided to tryout for the Polis Warriors junior team.”

“Did you make it?” Clarke perked her brow really interested in learning something else about the guarded woman.

Lexa shrugged. “I did, but…” Lexa said, “Titus didn’t believe that was the right path for me. He refused to support my extracurricular activities, so I left the team and focused on my studies instead.”

“Oh, sorry. That sucks.”

“Not everyone can fulfill their childhood dreams, but I’m really glad at least one of us is making their dreams come true.”

Lexa met Clarke’s smile with one of her own.

 

They reached another stall and Clarke moved quickly to a painting that grabbed her attention.

“This is gorgeous!” Clarke pointed to a painting of a beautiful landscape.

It was a big forest surrounded by enormous mountains. There were some colors that gave it a magical appearance, like the ones described in fairy tales. In the center of it all was a little girl with curly brown hair looking at the sky and with her finger pointing at the brightest star. The lonely girl found something in the sky above her, maybe hope or maybe there was someone up there too, Lexa wasn’t sure, she was no art critic.

“It feels like she won’t be alone for long...” Clarke glanced once more at the painting and moved on.

Lexa made sure Clarke was safe from where she was, talking with a food vendor and approached the seller. “Sir? I’d like to buy this one. Umm, if I give you 200$ would that be enough to ship it to DC?”

“Sure thing! Excellent choice for your girlfriend!” The older man smiled in kind.

Lexa’s heart flipped when the seller referred to Clarke like that. Still there was no time to make clarifications, instead she pulled out her wallet from her back pocket. “Can I pay with a card?”

“Of course, no problem! Let’s get you all set up.”

Lexa quickly dealt with the seller satisfied that she was able to get something for Clarke. She hoped the painting arrived safely to its new destination.

Lexa met Clarke moving out to the game area and continued their exploration.

 

They walked around observing all the art pieces. Once they reached the food area Clarke skipped happily to a hot dog stall.

“Two please. Mine with extra mayo and no pickles and for my girl everything!”

Lexa blushed by Clarke’s spontaneity. She said it as if indeed Lexa was her girl. The illusion of this almost being a date began creeping into Lexa’s mind. She was digging in her pants to get her wallet, but Clarke shook her head.

“This is on me, gorgeous.” She winked and paid, leaving a 20$ in the tip jar.

“Thanks.”

“Mmm,” Clarke took a bite. “This is so good.”

“Let’s sit here.” Lexa pulled a chair for Clarke and she sat next to her. The two had a great view of the sea, some people were taking pictures of the wonderful view. Smiling and enjoying the perfect day.

Clarke and Lexa talked some more joking and sharing stories of their respective childhoods. Getting to know each other more about one another.

Lexa noticed the tiny mayonnaise smear on Clarke’s cheek, nearby the corner of her lip. “You got mayo, there.” Lexa pointed.

“What? Here?” Clarke wiped with her thumb the opposite corner.

Lexa chuckled, “No, the other side.”

“Now?” Clarke arched her brows.

“No, just um, here.” Lexa moved closer, she put her fingers under Clarke’s chin to keep her in place and with her own other hand wiped the smear. “Done.”

“Ah ah. Mine.” Clarke grasped Lexa’s hand and sucked her thumb. “Mmmm, good.”

Lexa left out a shaky breath, her cheeks flushed to the fullest. “Jesus, Clarke.”

Clarke laughed heartily. “So cute when you get flustered.” She kissed Lexa’s cheek.

The brunette rolled her eyes and was about to deny such accusations when her phone rang again.

 

“Lincoln, anything?”

“I watched a video of the people that went in the building before Mr. Collins retrieved his mail. I got pictures of 4 possible suspects that were in and out of the building. Gotta do facial recog.”

“Send them to me, I can work on that as soon as I drive Ms. Griffin to pack her bags.”

“Sending them as we speak.”

“Did you manage to contact Anya?” Lexa asked, wiping her mouth with a napkin after finishing her quick lunch. Lexa walked to the garbage bin and tossed hers and Clarke’s liter.

“No luck.”

Lexa frowned, this wasn’t anything like Anya at all. “Okay I'm almost there. We need to depart for the airport pretty soon and then we decide what to do with this information.”

She ended the call and escorted Clarke back to the car.

 

“Everything okay?” Clarke asked now that she was buckling her seatbelt, noticing Lexa’s darkened demeanor.

Lexa pulled her tablet out of her messenger bag and checked the email with the file attached. “We got possible suspects with visuals. Hope we can ID them.”

Lexa tapped on her tablet looking for the file Lincoln sent her. “Let’s see.” Lexa clicked the link and open the pictures.

“All of them are men in their 30’s and 40’s.” Lexa clicked the images to see them bigger. “No, this one doesn’t fit the profile. Too open and careless.” Lexa swiped the next image. “No, this one either.” She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head observing the following image. “Wait a minute. I’ve seen this one.” Lexa typed in her search box and open the file of the security footage she had been watching from a couple of days ago. “This man was with the crew that was building the stage, or so I believed. He was keeping a low profile, that’s why it called my attention. Why that worker was leaving on the footage when his partners were still on the main stage?”

“He was the day of the accident?”

“That was no accident, Clarke. That was a murder attempt.” Lexa grabbed her phone and dialed a number she’d have preferred not to use. “Luna I need a favor. I sent you a picture and video, get me a name and background stat.”

“The almighty Lexa needs help?”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Not now Luna. It’s an emergency.”

Luna chuckled, “Will get to you back in 5.”

Lexa exhaled slowly and closed her eyes. “He’s going to act now. He knows he failed so he will finish the job. Shit! Anya and Raven!”

Lexa kickstarted the car and raced towards the beach house.

 

///

 

Lexa was driving way over the speed limit. Her knuckles white, gripping the steering wheel. She was trying to contact Anya to no avail through her earpiece.

“God dammit!”

“Lexa, calm down please. We’re almost there.”

 _DING!_ Lexa’s electronic device got a message.

Lexa turned on the curve and there it was the beach house. She hoped her paranoia was unfounded and Anya was distracted with Raven.

Lexa parked terribly and pulled her gun out of the glove compartment, attaching the holster and checking to make sure her gun was loaded. “Stay in the car and wait for Lincoln. Don’t do anything reckless!” Lexa jumped out of the car and on her way to the front door read the file Luna sent her.

“Motherfucker!”

 

“Anya?” Lexa put the key and turned it, opening the lock. She took a tentative step inside. “Anya? Raven!?” Lexa moved slowly hearing nothing. Lexa armed her gun, her finger close to the trigger, taking cautious steps inside the house.

She decided to check the lower floor instead of the upper one first. She entered the kitchen and saw broken glass. Evidence of struggle.

“Fuck!”

Lexa followed the trail of destruction and noticed blood in the living room on the usual white marble tiles.

Lexa continued moving into the backyard and that’s when she saw Anya, tied from head and toe. Her face was already bruised and swollen.

“Anya!” Lexa took a step out.

 

“Stay right where you are!” A man of average height and red hair ordered.

Now that Lexa was completely out she noticed that Raven was bleeding profusely, she looked pale from where she was. Anya pressuring her back however she could.

“Lieutenant Carl Emerson get away from them!” Lexa pointed her gun to an Emerson pointing his own weapon to Raven’s head.

“Where’s Wanheda!?” Emerson asked.

“Nowhere where you can hurt her. Now let them go Emerson. It’s over!”

Emerson armed his gun. “Get me Wanheda or I blow her friend’s brain out!”

“RAVEN!” Clarke screamed running towards them.

“Clarke! I told you to stay in the car!” Lexa wanted to drag Clarke back to safety but the blonde wasn’t going to go anywhere, not with her best friend looking in dire need.

“Lexa, I’m not going to let anyone get hurt!” Clarke faced Emerson. “Let them go. The one you want is me, isn’t it?”

“Clarke, please stay back!” Lexa insisted but Clarke raised her hands taking tentative steps towards the angry man.

“Look, whatever it is your business, it’s with me. Leave them out of this.” Clarke kept Emerson’s attention on her.

 

“You!” The man pointed at Lexa. “Let go of your gun and walk here slowly. Put on the handcuffs or she is dead.”

Lexa moved reluctantly and dropped her gun, the man threw at her a handcuff.

“Put them on!”

Lexa didn’t do as the man wanted right away.

“I said, put them ON!” Emerson instead kicked Anya who recoiled from the impact, curling into herself on the ground.

“You motherfucker! I’m going to rip you to pieces!” Lexa growled.

“Don’t test me!” Emerson pointed the gun this time to Clarke.

Lexa put on the cuffs, Emerson adjusted them.

“So much bark but no bite, huh?”

“Fuck off!” Lexa headbutted him and a crack sound could be heard clearly.

“Bitch!” Emerson punched Lexa. Of course, Lexa was unable to defend herself effectively with her hands tied. She lost her balance but at least managed to kick him hard. He grunted and pulled a knife slashing Lexa on her thigh.

“Agh!”

“Lexa!” Clarke cried.

“No more games. Sit NOW!” Emerson commanded.

Lexa did as told, hissing in pain but locking her eyes on her target.

“How are you holding up?” Lexa checked on her best friend. Anya’s cheek was turning purple.

“I’m okay. Raven, that fucker shot her. I- I couldn’t do anything.”

“It’s okay. We’re going to get her the medical attention she needs. I need to buy us more time to get out of these.” Lexa lifted her hands with the handcuffs.

“Careful, that man is on the verge. He’s got nothing to lose.”

“Linc is on the way, we just gotta hold on a little while longer. Okay?”

Anya gave her a weak nod and then Lexa began pulling her hands from the handcuffs until she could squeeze them out.

 

“Finally! I thought I was about to lose my chance, but I made it on time.” Emerson walked towards Clarke. “You’re going to suffer a painful death, Clarke.”

“Look, I don’t know what you think I did but-”

_SLAP!_

Lexa let out a growl, if that bastard dared to touch her again she was going to rip his head off.

“Don’t you lie, Wanheda. I lost my wife and two kids because of you!”

Clarke was shocked, her cheek was red by the hit.

Lexa was struggling to remove the cuffs; her thumb was stopping her from squeezing her hand further. But hurting her thumb, maybe breaking it, was the only way Lexa was going to reach her hidden knife on her ankle. She needed these handcuffs off now. The friction of the cold metal was already breaking her skin, making her bleed but Lexa didn’t care about anything but getting to Clarke.

“What? I- I don’t know what are you talking about?”

“You cancelled those concerts. My kids wanted to see the great Wanheda. When you had to cancel they were heartbroken, but my wife managed to grab last minute tickets to a nearby city.” Emerson pulled Clarke from her shirt and made her kneel. Putting the gun against the back of her head. “She was driving them there because they idolized you. But they never made it.”

“I’m- I’m sorry. Those things happen. I uh, I was sick!”

“Yeah so sick my two kids died trying to see you. Poor Wanheda.” Emerson kicked her throwing Clarke on the ground. He grabbed her hair to lift her head and pointed the gun at her temple. “I’m gonna kill them one by one and you’re going to enjoy the show.”

“Please, let them go!” Clarke cried.

“Ah ah, no. I’m going to take your friends and your lover from you.” Emerson chuckled. “Yeah, I know what you two have been up to.”

“You’re insane!”

“No, Clarke. I just want you to suffer the same way that I’ve suffered.”

 

Emerson began to move towards his prisoners with his gun, pointing it at Raven, then Anya and lastly Lexa. “Who would it be, Clarke? Who should die on your behalf first?”

“Listen to me, leave now that you can, otherwise I will kill you like a rabid dog.” Lexa glared at him, keeping his attention on her.

“You have a big mouth, Commander.”

“No. I don’t threaten in vain, you should know that since you’re military. I read your file Lieutenant Emerson.”

“Is that right?” Emerson was focusing fully on Lexa that he didn’t see when Clarke started to come from behind. Lexa had to buy Clarke more time.

“Yeah, Mount Weather huh? The right-hand of Cage Wallace. I know about your boss. You work for scum!”

“You know nothing about me.”

“I know you’re a coward!” Lexa smirked taunting the man, which worked because she got punched.

“Agh!” Lexa spat on his boots.

At least Clarke had the chance to take the poker from the BBQ set. Clarke came from behind and smashed his head hard.

 

“Ugh you bitch!” Emerson yelled, he placed his hand on his face to cover the big gash on his forehead Clarke made. Clarke swung the poker again but Emerson avoided it and tackled Clarke to the ground.

Lexa used those minutes to finish her escape, “Anya fucking break it!”

Anya raised her tied hands and grabbed Lexa’s thumb.

“Come on! Just do it!” Lexa commanded.

“One, two-”

“AAARGH!” Lexa slid one hand out of the cuffs and grabbed her hidden knife.

Clarke and Emerson were on the ground battling. He was choking her. Lexa ran as fast as her wounded leg allowed and tackled him pulling him away from Clarke. She stabbed him in the shoulder, but her knife wasn’t as lethal, still it was enough to slow his swings.

“Lexaaa!” Lincoln came at last.

“Take them out!” Lexa said fighting for her life.

 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lincoln helping Clarke to move Raven away. She punched once, twice and received back a couple of hits. The man was obviously trained, so he gave her trouble, mostly by having her left fist with a broken thumb, but she managed.

Emerson grabbed her right wrist and smashed it over the concrete over and over until she let go of the weapon. He moved on top and began to squeeze her trachea, her right hand was so slippery with blood that it was hard to reach the knife, she tried as hard as she could, but it was slipping from her grasp.

“Uugh!” Her vision was becoming blurry, the lack of oxygen was beginning to affect her too. Her strength was faltering, and she thought of Clarke. That she was safe with her partner.

“Arrgh uugh!” He cried, and he fell on the ground dead. Lexa took a big gulp of air and saw that her knife was in his neck.

She sat up as much as she could and found Clarke shaking looking at the dead body of Carl Emerson.

“Clarke!” Lexa quickly moved and pulled her against her, holding her tightly. “You’re okay.”

“Oh God, Lexa.” Clarke look at her hands shaking.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Clarke. You saved me. You did what you had to.”

Clarke was clearly shaken; this situation was over, but the consequences were going to be everlasting. Lexa knew that Clarke was going to be hit hard, she could only hope she could help her heal and recover from this nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience and cos-geek-monkey says thank you for your well wishes, she is recovering from her surgical intervention and getting better each day. Trying to work faster to get back on schedule, readers. Still, it all depends on health and time but we do this with much love so I hope you remain patient as you have been so far.
> 
> See you next update!
> 
> Tana


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I recommend this short playlist to set the mood:  
> Daughter - No Care > https://goo.gl/nrqikV  
> Purity Ring - Obedear > https://goo.gl/5gLh2s

“Clarke?”

“Hmmm?” Clarke blinked and saw her slightly bruised face reflected in the mirror. She was in her makeup chair getting ready for tonight’s concert.

“I asked you if you wanted to use the platinum eyeshade tonight?”

“Ah, yeah sure.” Clarke answered and got lost again in her own head.

Dread and guilt had been haunting her since she stabbed Emerson and killed him days ago. Guilt for her best friend Raven’s severe injuries and for putting her security team in danger.

Clarke was back on tour after her break so cancellation was out of the equation unless she wanted to deal with the label executives. Besides, another cancelled concert would energize the press.  They were already creating a sensationalized version of what really happened.

_Crazed stalker attacks Wanheda._

_Rock star gets assaulted by mentally unstable ex-military_.

_Mount Weather denies any ties to disturbed widowed soldier._

Marcus posted a brief statement on Clarke’s behalf asking for privacy and assuring her fans that she was okay and ready to continue her tour, trying to diminish the impact of this story and avoid another negative stain on her career.

Therefore, here she was. Sucking it up and making it seem as if everything was fine. Acting as if Raven haven’t been shot and hurt badly and as if these bruises on her face and body were just a figment of her imagination.

“All done!” The makeup artist announced making Clarke blink herself back to her reality.

Clarke nodded and walked outside to be escorted to the dressing room to meet Bryan.

 

Outside her makeup room was Lexa. Lexa was as bruised as Clarke, maybe even more so, and walked with a small limp thanks to the stabbing wound she suffered. Her left hand was enveloped in a plaster cast, but all in all, Lexa was holding it together much better than Clarke.

The two of them walked in silence until they reached the designated area.

Lexa opened the dressing room door. “Bryan, Wanheda is here,” and made a quick security check of the room before leaving the musician.

As Clarke was passing her she grabbed her arm gently. “Talk to me, Clarke. You don’t have to carry this alone. Let me help.”

“Lexa, I said I’m fine. Now please leave I need to get changed.”

Lexa sighed and nodded shutting the door behind her.

Clarke has been avoiding talking to Lexa ever since that horribly violent day. She knew Lexa meant well, that the brunette somehow wanted to ease her pain, but she didn’t deserve that. This was her own guilt to carry.

Clarke couldn’t burden Lexa with her own sins. She already knew how Gustus’ death still haunted Lexa, and she wasn’t going to add more weight on her shoulders. Clarke had to be strong for her friends and Lexa.

 

She changed into her concert clothes and moved to the backstage with Bellamy who gave her the signal to walk on stage as soon as everything was ready.

Not even the crowd’s loud cheers could lift her spirits.

 

///

 

The concert had been okay. She did what she could but she didn’t feel her songs. Clarke sang without a heart, it felt empty. She was singing just to sing, her interactions with the audience lacked her usual enthusiasm. It wasn’t her best concert for sure.

Now Clarke was back in her hotel room, waiting for Marcus to finish, but it didn’t matter since Clarke wasn’t really listening.

“I mean, the latest headlines are still focused on what happened. We need something to give the press to switch the attention away from the incident. I think it best if we announce the second single release date to put the focus on that.”

“Alright, I’ll work with Jasper right away.” Bellamy scratched his dimpled chin. “Any news about Raven?”

“Yes, I spoke with Abby. She said that Raven will remain in observation for now to monitor the extent of the neural damage but she’s recovering well.” Marcus commented.

“That’s good to hear, glad she’s doing better.” Bellamy smiled more fully now. Everyone on the staff was dead worried for their friend.

”Thank God we got Abby a private charter to aid in Raven’s surgery. Having one of the top surgeons in the country was an advantage.” Marcus rested his hand over Clarke’s shoulder.  
“I’ll make sure to tell Monty to post a short statement on behalf of Clarke regarding tonight’s show and thank her fans in social media for the amazing support. The band and the rest of the crew is already on the move to set up the equipment for the next concerts in San Diego.”

“Perfect, Bellamy! In the meantime I’ll try to divert the attention back to the tour and Clarke’s music. The sooner we move on from this, the faster the press will forget it.”

“Do you need anything else, Clarke?” Bellamy asked before departing.

“No, thanks. I’m going to sleep early, too tired.”

Bellamy nodded and left the manager and his star.

 

“We still can cancel if that’s what you need, Clarke.”

“There’s no way we can cancel without having Arkadia getting ready to sue me for not fulfilling the tour contract. Also, the fans deserve to see what they paid for. I cannot fail them too.”

“With Pike that might be a big possibility, but I’d talk to the execs if that’s what you need. After all you’re their biggest star.” Marcus wiped the tiredness from his eyes

“If I cancel, that bastard wins. I’ll continue Kane.”

“Alright, however, you need to step up your performance. Tonight’s show was mediocre and you know it.”

“I ah, I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”

“Very well, Clarke. If you need anything else let me know. How are your bruises? Do you need Jackson to check on you again?”

“No, I swear I’m good.”

“I’ll leave you to rest then. We’ll depart to your next venue first thing in the morning.” Marcus offered a warm smile and left Clarke alone

 

However, Clarke wasn’t really in the mood to sleep. She was been haunted by her thoughts and horrible nightmares. She headed instead to the hotel bar to try to relax.

 

///

 

Clarke sat at the bar and requested hard liquor. The bartender poured the amber liquid into a glass with ice and Clarke downed it in a couple of sips. She passed a couple of twenties to the bartender to keep the alcohol coming.

She needed to forget, to erase the sensation of digging into warm flesh, the blood pouring into her hands, the agony and pain her best friend endured because of her mistakes.

Clarke shook her head and kept drinking, allowing the warmth going down her throat to alleviate some of the horrible memories and dreams. Better to remain awake so those nightmares couldn’t hurt you.

“Clarke, you should go back to bed.” Lexa appeared at her side with a frown. Concern clear in her eyes.

“Lexa, I just wanna drink alone and relax. Just, go back to your corner and let me be.” Clarke kind of slurred.

Lexa sighed. “Apologies, Ms. Griffin.” The brunette took a step back and resigned, returned to her place in the shadows.

Clarke couldn’t deal with Lexa right now. Not with the way she looked at her with pity.

 

“Well, if it’s not the stalker smasher!”

Clarke tensed as she heard the vile in that annoying fake sweet voice.

She turned to look over her shoulder. “Ontari. What the fuck are you even doing here? Can’t believe Roan let you out of the dog house.”

“Oh you’re getting funny. Just decided to stop and have a drink and then I saw your lonely pink big head. I thought why not visit my dear Wanheda?” Ontari smiled but it wasn’t friendly at all, she was wearing all black -  jeans and blouse. Her black hair was loose, and her hazel eyes had a smoky shadow that made her look like a fake punk.

“So… what’s the truth huh? You slept with the guy and he planned to spill it to the press? Or rather the one where you replaced his old, creepy ass and he got angry. Because come on, no one buys that stupid version by the press.” Ontari chuckled, her mouth twisting with disdain.

Clarke sighed completely exasperated. “Ontari, you know what? Fuck off.”

Ontari laughed in mockery. “How’s that lousy friend of yours? The one with the bird name? Heard she might be paralyzed or something.”

Clarke clenched her jaw and stood up, shoving Ontari’s shoulder hard. “Shut up.”

“Ms. Snow, I suggest you continue your way.” Lexa stepped in after observing things becoming extremely tense between the musicians. “Echo,” Lexa said to the taller woman standing a couple of steps behind Ontari. “I don’t want to cause a ruckus in a public place. Please go.”

 

Ontari eyed Lexa from head to toe. “Damn, hottie. That bruise looks nasty.” Ontari tried to reach for Lexa’s chin but she evaded her hand. She simply laughed at the rejection.

“Listen to me, bitch! Get your hands away from Lexa!” Clarke growled, pointing her finger at Ontari. She was being held back by Lexa, who had her restrained by one arm around her waist.

“Mmmm, Lexa. I’m in room 1300 if you want to get tangled nice and easy.” Ontari smirked ignoring Clarke’s expletives and drinking Lexa’s body with her hazel eyes.

Clarke removed Lexa’s arm making Lexa wince as she hurt her on her way out of her grasp and pushed Ontari with all her might. Ontari ended up falling on her ass and hitting a nearby table, causing drinks to fall and some spilled on her.

Clearly, THAT was what made the patrons pay attention to them.

“What did you say? Leave my people alone!”

“Unless... you already did?” Ontari kept provoking Clarke with her dirty mouth as she was propped up by Echo.

“Clarke, come on! Stop!” Lexa stepped in front of Clarke trying to contain the blonde’s fury.

“I don’t mind if we share. I could use a good lay, and she seems up to the task!”

“That’s it!” Clarke stepped aside and launched a punch towards Ontari, but this time Echo stepped in.

 

Lexa quickly turned around and grabbed Echo’s arm twisting it before she even grazed Clarke, managing to shove Clarke to the side with her shoulder.

“Touch her and you die.” Lexa whispered.

Echo managed to break out of the lock Lexa had by digging her fingers into Lexa’s thigh where she had the stab wound inflicted by Emerson that was barely healed.

Lexa limped a step away, scrunching her face in pain but still holding her protective position in front of Clarke.

“Heard your team got injured, mostly Anya.” Echo said rolling her shoulder to ease the slight discomfort Lexa caused. “Hope you all recover. This job can get tough sometimes, eh?”

“True.” Lexa said, her eyes narrowing scoping her target.

“I wouldn’t mind if you put Wanheda in her place, Echo.” Ontari intoned as she removed dirt from her pants.

“Why don’t you come here alone and let me deal with your pathetic ass?” Clarke tried to fight Lexa to go erase Ontari’s stupid smile from her face, but the bodyguard was blocking her completely.

“Echo, take your annoying client away. You know that in a fight between us I’d be last woman standing. Even as injured as I am.” Lexa said with clear conviction, even throwing daggers at Ontari that was now gaping at Lexa.

“Annoying? How dare you!? You’re a nobody, nothing but a-”

Echo rested her hand on Ontari’s shoulder. “We're leaving Ms. Snow.”

Echo began to walk away. Ontari seeing that her personal security was moving on, decided to follow.

“Ha! Suck it!” Clarke scoffed.

 

“And you,” Lexa turned around to be able to look at the musician, “are going back to your room.”

“Come on! This was fun. Ontari ran like a little bitch!” Clarke laughed and almost lost her balance. She apparently drank way more than she initially thought.

“Let’s go.” Lexa looped her arm around Clarke’s shoulders and escorted her away from the cellphones pointing in their direction.

Clarke leaned into the brunette, letting the anger pass. At least this small encounter with her nemesis gave her a break from the nightmares.

They walked in silence back to the lift. The numbers on the screen moved pretty slow in Clarke’s opinion causing her to feel trapped between Lexa and the metal box. The ride in the elevator was in relative silence until they reached the suite where Clarke was staying.

“Here we are.” Lexa opened the door and let Clarke in before she peeked inside. “Try to rest, Ms. Griffin.”

Clarke smiled and grabbed Lexa’s lapel of her suit jacket encouraged by the booze in her blood. “Ontari is an idiot but she wasn’t wrong.” Clarke took a sloppy step forward. “You’re mine, commander.” She pecked Lexa’s lips. “And I defend what’s mine.”

Lexa sighed, “You're drunk, Clarke. Please, go to the bed.”

Clarke chuckled. “Okay, okay. No need to mother me, Lex. That’s like the fastest way to turn me off.”

“I’m serious.” Lexa pinched her nose before looking back at Clarke. “I get you’re hurting. I also understand that you might want to escape that pain, but you can’t keep being reckless, Clarke. Tonight was-”

“Oh fuck no. I’m not gonna to listen to this nonsense!”

“Clarke, you’re running away, and you’re not even paying attention to who you ram on the way out. I’m here to help if you just gave me a chance! Let me help you deal with this.”

“I already told Marcus I’m okay. I don’t need your pity, Lexa.”

“Clarke, just hear me out!” Lexa ran her long fingers through her chestnut curls in frustration. “I’m not pitying you. After what happened it’s understandable that you’re-”

“Bye, Lexa!” Clarke shut the door in the brunette’s face. This is exactly what she wanted to avoid thinking about.

 

She had to find a way to numb this pain, the memories and the horror. What she needed was something more efficient to knock her down to stop hearing Raven’s painful cries as she helped her get into Lincoln’s car, blood seeping from her wound staining her jeans. Clarke needed to erase the sensation of Emerson’s blood sticking under her nails and hands.

 

///

 

“Mmm, go away.” Clarke threw an arm over her eyes covering the impending light.

“Jesus, Clarke. Did you drink all of this after the bar?” Lexa looked around the mess of bottles of rum and coke. “Clarke, you need to stop. This isn’t the way to cope.”

“Fuck off.” Clarke rolled on her side trying to get some sleep, her head was pounding hard, and Lexa’s voice was truly annoying.

“Clarke! You smell like shit, a drunken mess drowning in self-pity! Think about Raven.” Lexa began picking up the trash and disposing of the remnants of liquids in the bottles. “She’s doing her best to get back to you, to push past what happened to her! If she saw you like this you’d break her heart, Clarke.”

“You know nothing about me, Lexa!” Clarke sat up abruptly almost losing her balance. She was still wearing her clothes from last night, makeup blurred on her face. She looked like crap indeed.

Lexa sighed, shaking her head. She returned to Clarke and kneeled taking one of her hands with her healthy hand. “You’re right, there’s still a lot I don’t know about you but I do know how you feel. I should have killed him, not you. For that I’m sorry. That death shouldn’t be on you, but you saved your friend, you saved me!”

Clarke couldn’t look Lexa in the eyes. She was ashamed. She felt dirty.

“My first kill was just as hard. I was a bit younger than you are now, a complete novice in the field used to being stuck in a desk for the Polis PD. When I squeezed the trigger to protect a high-profile client, it felt so easy. I just pulled it and the assassin was dead. I couldn't sleep for nights feeling like a monster. I killed another human being - that was all I could think of but Anya was by my side. She made the guilt and the pain bearable, she guided me. I won’t leave you alone Clarke. Whenever you're ready to talk I’ll be here.” Lexa lifted herself up, leaving a bottle of water on the side table and moved to the restroom to prepare Clarke’s bath.

 

Clarke felt her throat was as dry as the Sahara desert, her stomach was queasy. She opened the bottle and took a long gulp before trying to get herself up. If she made any sudden moves she was going to end up puking. Suddenly, slight memories of her night came back to her. Mostly images of Ontari being a total ass.

 _Wanheda parties hard last night and a catfight with her musical rival ensues_ Clarke thought was the probable headline that Marcus would be reading soon. Well, if that’s what he needed for the press to move on, so be it.

She took a deep breath and using the walls as support made her way to the bathroom.

Okay, she definitely wasn’t going to make it out unscathed. She felt the bile rise on her throat and she barely had time to lift the toilet seat to vomit her shame. Lexa was already at her side holding her dirty hair and rubbing her back carefully with her cased hand.

“Easy.” Lexa whispered. “I got you.”

Once Clarke stopped heaving after emptying her stomach, she sat on the side, tears silently streaming down her face. Lexa flushed the toilet and hoisted Clarke up on the toilet seat. She removed the tears staining her face.

“I prepared a hot bath, get inside and relax. Do you need help?”

“I’m not sick, Lexa.” Clarke wiped her remaining tears embarrassed.

“I know. In case you need me I’ll remain outside.” Lexa stood up.  While rummaging through the cabinet, she found what she was looking for. “Here, take this aspirin and drink more water. I’ll order room service. Something that will ease the mess in your stomach.”

 

Clarke nodded and once Lexa was out she began to remove her dirty clothes. She looked at her pale face in front of the bathroom mirror. She saw deep bags under her red eyes, her bruises were fading thankfully because the marks around her neck made her feel sick to her stomach. Hair completely disheveled, she quickly rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth feeling a little bit better. She walked to the tub testing the water with her foot. It was hot enough but not scalding. Once Clarke sat inside she felt her muscles relax.

Her body hurt everywhere, sleeping on that couch was the worst idea ever. She definitely wasn’t going to be able to wash her hair considering how weak she felt.

“Lexa? Can you help me please?” Clarke shouted.

“Of course, Clarke.” Lexa answered a minute later. She entered the bathroom with a tender smile, a smile that made Clarke’s heart skip a beat.

She let Lexa take care of her, lathering her hair with the shampoo, working in silence. Even Lexa with one hand was more efficient than her in her post-drunken state.

The interesting thing was that Lexa never threw any judgement at her face. Bellamy and Marcus - if they had seen her like this - would be throwing a fit. Mostly Bellamy who tended to be overdramatic.

But never Lexa. Lexa always tried to understand her. To support her in any way possible. What did Clarke do to deserve someone like Lexa in her life? Maybe in some other life Clarke did a good deed.

Also, it was comfortable that she was buck naked and Lexa didn’t act weird around her. Yes, they were having regularly casual sex but it wasn’t awkward anymore. This showed that their relationship was full of trust. That they were on a stage where it was practically normal being like this.

 

Clarke was falling asleep again feeling the deft fingers of Lexa moving over her scalp, rinsing her hair and applying conditioner. She could get used to this. Actually, it didn’t feel wrong at all. Lexa and her sharing a bath, doing domestic things. Friends do this for other friends. If Raven was here she might have helped her. Maybe.

What Clarke needed to do was stop thinking too much, she said it herself to Lexa. Overthinking wasn’t going to help them. Take it one day at a time. This meant nothing. It was just a friendly hand. There was no need for her to place a meaning to this quiet comfort she felt around Lexa. No need to give a name to this thing she felt.

Names are stupid to begin with.

 

///

 

“Wanheda, tells us how you feel?”

“Wanheda. Want to tell your fans how are you?”

“Wanheda!”

“Wanheda, what did Ontari say to you to make you so mad?”

“Hey back off!” Lexa pulled Clarke closer to her as she protected her from the press onslaught and camera flashes on her way to the concert hall in San Diego. The press have been like hunting dogs, following her wherever she went. She couldn’t even head outside her hotel room because they were lurking to take pictures of her face.  Wanting the opportunity to point out her bruises, to see her down and vulnerable. That’s what fed the paparazzi's - her shame.

“Come on Linc, Let’s go!” Lexa shut the door behind her after helping Clarke get into the SUV to be taken to the venue as soon as possible.

 

The ride was fast, and Clarke was escorted quickly to her dressing room. Fox was already there waiting to begin her makeup session.

Clarke went through the routine before every concert. Of course she missed her best friend, who always handed her Fender. She thought about Lexa’s words and how pathetic she was being when Raven got a bullet in her back, suffering from nerve damage. Clarke couldn’t remove herself from the guilt she felt. The sensation of sinking the knife into Emerson’s neck, the sounds he made when he began to choke on his own blood to end up dead on the concrete floor. The vision still haunted her until she wake up midnight all sweaty and feeling tremors all on her skin.

Clarke shook her head erasing again those thoughts and gave Bellamy a smile as he gave her the final instructions.

 

“Keep it light and fun. The girls have your back if you need to take some time mid-show. Just signal Octavia, and she will start a free play with Harper and Monroe to give you extra time to rest.”

Clarke nodded in affirmation. How bad was she when her bandmates had to cover her ass as well? Clarke had to wake up from this darkness. She couldn’t keep hiding behind the alcohol forever. It was obvious to her staff that she was struggling and she couldn’t let this affect them.

“Thanks, Bell.” Clarke adjusted her guitar strap and followed the cheers until she was front stage.

 

“Good evening, San Diegooo!”

The cheers became louder. The applause was massive, and the screams never ending.

“Tonight I want to dedicate this show to my best friend, Raven.” Clarke said preparing herself to begin. “Raven, you’re bold and courageous. I wish I was even half of the person you are. I uh, I want to give a percentage of the earnings of this concert to the charity that supports the hospital, which treated Raven. Raven, this is for you!”

On cue Octavia began setting the pace of their opening song. Clarke shut her eyes and tried to give her best for Raven.

She interacted a bit more with the audience, trying to use their incredible energy to replace her sadness.

Clarke sang pouring out the negativity inside her head. She sang focusing on the good things she had. She tried to find the reason why her heart kept beating strong, pushing her forward. She opened up her senses, letting down her walls to find the source that kept her afloat.

 

She played her guitar with all her might, immersing herself in the tunes and the rhythm, an upbeat tune that lifted the spirits of the audience. Making them shout louder, chanting her name. However, there was only one sound that reached her insides. It was soft, pleading, it was everything that made her heart sing.

_Clarke, please, Clarke. Clarke. Claaarke._

That click of the k was so characteristic. Only one person said her name with reverence, with respect and that much care.

Thinking about her made her feel strong, filling the gaps in her soul. How her heart called for her and that’s why she started to sing with her heart again, because she thought of her every single time.

Clarke blinked herself out of her bubble. The band was playing hard and the audience responded equally. She finished with a bang and the audience repaid with the same enthusiasm.

 

///

 

After almost two hours of nonstop music, Clarke found that she was feeling less troubled. There were still some dark heavy thoughts inside of her mind but for now this slight peace was enough.

She found that her staff was more energetic and cheerful after the concert.  After all of the congratulations, she made it back safely to her hotel room.

 

Clarke took a refreshing shower, letting the post concert grime and sweat be washed away by the warm water.

After she was done she dried her hair and toweled her body and put on comfortable sleeping clothes. She put on the Polis Warriors hoodie that she practically stole from Lexa during their first night together in the beach house.

A small smile slowly appeared on Clarke’s face at the thought. The beach house was a place that was special, even when Emerson broke into her sanctuary, the presence of Lexa and what they did in her bedroom managed to erase most of that bloody day.

Now that she was comfortable she picked up her songbook and thought about the bodyguard with viridian eyes who had become a constant in the months of the tour. Trying to decipher exactly what was going on between them.

 

The facts were simple: she liked Lexa. The woman was attractive and easy on the eyes. Those were the facts.

Nonetheless, the term ‘like’ didn’t seem to fit Lexa anymore. Lexa became a friend, was her protector, and also the woman who occupied her bed from time to time. They weren’t a couple, but the mere thought of Lexa sharing her sheets with another woman made Clarke feel sick.

Lexa was starting to become something complicated, and Clarke hated complicated.

Removing those ideas from her head, Clarke tried to write some more in her moleskin, already partially filled with many songs that might never see the light of day. But now that Clarke was scanning the pages she started to see there was a repeating pattern in her lyrics. Songs about wanting, needing, loving. If anyone else took this book and read most of the things she had written so far, they would think she was having a crush or something.

“I need clarity.”

Clarke shut her songbook and placed on the night table, afraid to continue analyzing her writing history.  She remembered that Lexa gave her the new moleskin and that provides more evidence that the songs were inspired by her.  Clarke removed the hoodie and put it back in her backpack before finding the small plastic bag from Jasper.

Her inner thoughts were a disaster and adding Lexa to the mix was not helping.

 

The singer was sitting now on the balcony of her room, smoking the joint Jasper provided her after the great concert. She wasn’t into drugs but tonight she wanted another way to numb her other than booze, so she asked Jasper to give her something.

The clear sky with its bright stars above reminded her of how alone she was. She blew out some smoke, the wind taking it away but also making her skin prickle with the chill of the night.

She shut her eyes for a moment. All she could hear were the shouts of Emerson as his anger and hate escaped from his pores. Clarke took another puff of the joint, trying to shake those memories. This wasn’t helping, the joint made her feel like she was floating, but that wasn’t enough to erase the feeling of sinking the knife into a living being.

She lifted herself up from her chair, threw the joint off the balcony and returned inside where it was warmer. She put on some socks and decided to walk around. She wasn’t going to be able to sleep just yet, even though she was exhausted after her concert. As soon as she closed her eyes she experienced everything again. Just like Lexa said, it had felt so easy to kill him, more so when she saw Lexa struggling to get the man off of her. Something inside was ignited, and she had to protect the woman who had been her shield all this time.

Clarke grabbed her keycard and left her room, walking along the almost empty corridor. Clarke smiled to the cleaning service person going down the hall as she reached the right door.

 

She knocked softly and immediately she heard the shuffle of a bed and steps coming closer to open up.

“Clarke?” Lexa was squinting rubbing the sleep from her face. Lexa looked tired as well but here she was ready for whatever Clarke decided to do. “What is it?”

“Help me forget.” Clarke fisted Lexa’s sweatshirt and pulled her into the middle of the hall where she smashed her lips. The contact with those slight busted lips turned on an internal furnace that made her feel cocooned in a warm blanket that was all Lexa.

Lexa was caught off guard. She was still drowsy from sleeping, but after a second she tried to slow down the intensity of the kiss by cupping Clarke’s chin. And it was amazing and sweet. Clarke could feel fireworks behind her eyelids, feeling Lexa’s lips on hers was always magical. It made her feel light, as if she could start floating anytime, BUT, this isn’t what Clarke wanted. She didn’t want slow, not tonight. She wanted to be ravaged, to be taken hard, unforgiving, to make her erase the unstoppable nightmares.

She pulled away to change the angle and kissed Lexa feverishly holding her chestnut tangled curls harder, however, Lexa pulled back breaking the kiss.

“Clarke, stop.” Lexa was gasping for breath, her lips swollen and pinkish.

“Lexa, I need you to fuck me.”

 

Lexa cupped her face tenderly looking into her wide blown eyes. “Are you high?”

“Aah, no?” Clarke couldn’t hold Lexa’s inquisitive gaze, instead she looked at her socked feet. “I just wanna get laid. No big deal, Lexa.”

Lexa was looking at her with those big adoring eyes and it made Clarke feel small, and scared of what she was starting to see in Lexa’s eyes. She couldn’t hold her gaze.

“Clarke, you’re not in a state of mind to sleep with anyone. We can talk if you want.”  
“No!” Clarke swatted Lexa’s hand away. “Whatever, I can find anyone else willing to fuck me. Sorry I bothered you.” She turned around on her heel and began to walk towards the elevator.

 

“Clarke!” She heard Lexa calling from behind.

“Go away!”

“Clarke, stop!” Lexa reached for her. “Goddammit, Clarke. Wait!”

“Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what to do!” Clarke brawled.

“Your... friend.” Lexa swallowed whatever she was really going to say. She surprised Clarke by squatting and lifting Clarke by her waist and throwing her over her shoulder.

“What the fuck, Lexa. Put me down!”

Lexa began her return to Clarke’s room slowly making sure to not overwork her wounded thigh. She swiped the key card and shut the door tightly once inside. She kept moving until she found the king bed and let Clarke down on it.

“There!”

“Lexa, what is wrong with you!?”

Lexa climbed into the bed and pulled the comforter to the side, next she laid on one side and patted the empty side inviting Clarke to join.

Clarke rolled her eyes but did as told and scooted closer to Lexa.

Lexa pulled the blankets over them and held Clarke tightly. “I’m simply here to listen, not to judge you. If you still want to get out of here and find um... someone to- I uh, I can’t stop you but I hope this can be enough for tonight.”

 

Clarke actually felt comfortable with Lexa spooning her. It felt like being home, back in her safe place. She let out a wistful sigh. “You’re… enough.”

Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke’s head, tightening her hand thrown over her waist.

“I can’t sleep, I see him when I do.” The rock star said after several minutes of silence.

Lexa nuzzled into Clarke’s neck. “He’s gone, and I’m not going to let anyone else hurt you, as long as I’m here.”

“Two kids died, Lexa. What if-”

“Stop right there. There are no what ifs anymore. The kids died in a tragic accident. It was slippery while the mother was driving them to your concert. An unfortunate accident.”

“I should have kept going. I shouldn’t have cancelled.”

“You were sick too, there was no way you could have pulled a good show. Clarke, you even fainted on live TV. This isn’t on you. You did what you had to do to recover.” Lexa pressed another soft kiss into the hollow of her neck. “You’re not to blame.”

“You, Raven and Anya ended up hurt.”

“Emerson did that. You did the reckless thing I told you not to do, because you’re stubborn as hell. You risked your life to protect all of us when it is MY job to keep you safe.” Lexa pressed herself closer. “You’re a hero, Clarke. We’re alive because you’re brave, and you put yourself out there for the people you care about.”

Clarke turned around to look at Lexa. She traced her high cheekbone, moving slowly to the underside of her jaw. She leaned in and kissed Lexa’s lips. This time slowly.

“Thank you, Lexa. I really don’t know how I managed to find someone like you. Sorry for um, being an ass again. You uh, you always try to keep me afloat. Heck, even if this was part of your contract to deal with my shittiness, you’re still special to me.”

“Perks of being with a rock star.” Lexa chuckled, smiling wider. “Contract or not I do consider myself your friend, Clarke. Hope you remember that.”

 

Clarke tucked herself under Lexa’s jaw and closed her eyes, inhaling that calming scent that was her bodyguard. Her calmness and confidence made Clarke feel completely relaxed, protected and cared for. Way more than smoking that damn joint.

It made her feel loved.

However, she was loved by her mother too, by Raven and Wells. She was adored by the fans. Yet this _thing_ with Lexa was different. Even when they were having casual sex, it felt different.

But now was not the time to think about that. Seriously, why would she care about being in love again?

_Wait a minute..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who celebrate Merry Christmas! And for those who don't have a wonderful weekend!  
> Next time we see each other it's going to be a new year, so I hope that 2018 brings you all the best things. May we move forward in health and happiness.  
> Thank you for being here and for your support this year. Even though I didn't produce much works for you (cos-geek-monkey would murder me if I wrote more lol) I hope that what I have written so far has been entertaining at least. For how long I'll keep writing Clexa? I don't know, but as long as I keep loving them and you, awesome readers, keep coming back for more stories I'll do my best to provide them.  
> Also FYI, I'll be participating in a small fanfiction panel at ClexaCon 2018 (Sapphic Fan Fiction: Resistance, Healing, and Community - https://goo.gl/VECTgs) so if any of you goes I'd be honored to have you there.
> 
> All the best wishes for 2018 and until next time!
> 
> Tana!


	18. Chapter 18

Lexa felt the rustling of the sheets beside her and opened her eyes. She turned to look at Clarke; she seemed restless. It reminded her of when she battled her own nightmares.

Clarke whined rolling around the bed and after a beat, sat up abruptly. She was breathless, her skin slightly clammy and she shivered even though the room wasn’t cold. Tears poured out of her cerulean eyes. She rested her arms over her knees tucking her head in between.

 

Lexa swiftly sat up and began rubbing her back slowly. “Hey, it’s okay. It was a bad dream. You’re safe.”

Clarke was still breathing heavily, still caught in her own nightmares. She wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her arm.

“Breathe, Clarke. Easy. You’re here with me.” Lexa wound her arms around Clarke acknowledged that she was in the hotel room and not in whatever dark place she dreamt about.

“Breathe with me. One, two, three in and one, two, three, four out.”

 

Clarke mimicked Lexa. She rested her head under Lexa’s chin, seeking the warmth and protection of the brunette. Lexa kept Clarke in her arms, providing as much warmth as possible.

“That’s it. You’re doing great. You’ve got nothing to fear.”

Lexa kept calm, giving Clarke a sense of quiet safety. They just sat in silence for a couple more minutes. Clarke started to relax bit by bit until she stopped shaking and her muscles weren’t tense anymore.

 

“Want to talk about it?” Lexa asked with a soft, soothing tone, still keeping her hand running slowly on Clarke’s arms to ground her.

Clarke left Lexa’s arms, distancing herself a bit.

Lexa waited. She could see Clarke debating with herself - whether she should say something. Lexa reached for her hand and tangled her fingers with Clarke’s. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not ready.” Lexa lifted the blanket and covered them again. “Come back to sleep.”

 

Clarke shook her head, squeezing Lexa's hand. “No, I want to tell you. It’s just… it was so real.”

Lexa nodded waiting for Clarke to decide if she wanted to continue or rather go to sleep. She traced her thumb over Clarke’s knuckles slowly, offering comfort in her small touch.

“Emerson.” Clarke took a deep breath. “He had Raven, Anya and you trapped in a room. Like a metal box. I was outside trying to get to you, and he laughed while he left you all to asphyxiate in that chamber. I stood there watching as the life was drained from you. I couldn’t...” More tears began to trail down her pink cheeks.

 

Lexa cupped her cheek, removing tenderly the falling tears with her fingertips.

“It was a horrible nightmare, but I promise you Emerson won’t hurt any of us again. He’s gone for good.”

“With his blood on my hands.”

“He was filled with anger, resentment and he hurt us, Clarke. He was strangling me to death. I’m here because you rescued me. You’re stronger and braver than people realize.”

“He was there because of me!”

“And you stood up to him and faced him with a gun to your head, Clarke. What you went through was traumatic but you’re here, moving forward. Singing to your fans and making them smile. You will get through this. I know it.”

“How can you know that?”

Lexa smirked. “I believe in you. You’re no damsel in distress. You’re capable of incredible things, Clarke, and you will beat this. That’s all.”

Finally she managed to make Clarke laugh, even if just for a moment. There was a barely there smile and that was enough for Lexa.

 

“Now let’s get you back to sleep. Tomorrow you have a busy day.”

Clarke leaned on the bed, back into her spot. “Lexa, don’t leave yet. Please?”

Lexa curled behind Clarke. “I’ll be right here. Go on, close your eyes Wanheda.”

Lexa watched Clarke, how her eyelids closed slowly under her guard. Lexa pressed herself closer to Clarke, making sure that the blonde knew that she was protected even in her dreams.

Soon after, Lexa’s own eyes fluttered close and drifted into an easy sleep holding the most precious thing in the world between her arms.

 

///

 

Clarke was already surrounded by fans at the airport, taking pictures with them as they waited for their private charter to be ready to depart for Las Vegas.  The staff was already on their way, and Anya and Raven arrived with Clarke’s mother a couple of hours ago at the next venue.

Lexa and Lincoln were close by, watching the interactions from a distance, but the fans were respectful, even though they were very enthusiastic hugging Clarke and telling her how much they loved Wanheda and her music. How her songs helped some of them in harsher times and gave them hope.

Lexa quirked her lips, looking at the slight blush on Clarke’s face. She was humble about it. It meant the world to her when she was able to hear all types of reactions to her songs directly from her fans. These distractions kept Clarke busy and away from that ugly, dark place that Lexa new so damn well. At least, Clarke was more relaxed in comparison to last night. Lexa stayed with her until the wee hours of the morning when she made her way back to her bedroom before Marcus came to check on Clarke.  Lexa knew he would come by before he left with the rest of the staff in the morning.

 

“Alright, time to go.” Lincoln walked closer to Clarke. “We’re ready to depart, Ms. Griffin.”

 

“Okay, thanks guys. Hope you enjoyed the concert.” Clarke waved farewell to the fans.

Lexa fell behind the rock star escorting her alongside her partner to take her to their respective flight.

 

Once Clarke was seated comfortably and being tended to by the flight attendant, Lincoln and Lexa moved to the seats at the back, providing Clarke with the usual privacy during flights.

Lexa slumped in her chair feeling the tiredness of the last few days. She felt drained to the bone. Mostly because the mere thought of losing Clarke after what happened with Carl Emerson had been haunting her every day. She had never felt like she did that ominous day where she thought Clarke was going to die at the hands of that man. The despair and the terror of seeing the woman she loved putting herself in danger caused Lexa to understand the depth of her love for the rock star. Lexa felt like she was losing a part of her heart, that air has been sucked out of her chest and that the light of her life was suddenly gone. That’s how much in love she was with this woman. Like a total fool under a magician’s spell. But this job didn’t allow for feelings. Lexa knew this was turning serious, at least on her side, and she was going to end up with a broken heart. And damn her for falling into this head first, she allowed her feelings to take priority over her duty.

Lexa was good at her job because she excelled at separating her feelings from duty. However, with Clarke all lines were blurred, which is the reason why she _really_ had to leave.

 

The issue was that Clarke had no idea that she was about to leave after Las Vegas. And somehow, whenever she tried to tell Clarke the truth something usually came up.

These thoughts wouldn’t leave her alone. She had to tell Clarke before she left. She owed that to Clarke.

For now, all Lexa could do was return her thoughts to work, and she checked her tablet for the upcoming commitments of her client to make sure they were covering all security bases.  Lexa may not be with Clarke for much longer, but she certainly was going to make sure that Clarke was safe in the future.

 

“Lexa?” Lincoln rested his hand on her shoulder noticing her grinding jaw. “What is it?”

“Ah, nothing. I’m just making sure we’ve got everything under control. It’s been a couple of intense days after what happened.”

“Agreed. Clarke looks a bit on edge lately. I don’t blame her after that awful experience, but I hope she knows she can trust us.”

“Clarke needs time to heal and to assimilate that she had no fault in this. She takes everything to heart and those kids deaths fell heavy on her, but she has no reason to feel that guilt. I know you and Anya can help her for the remainder of the tour since Luna will be practically new, and Clarke might not trust her right away. So be there for Clarke Linc.”

 

Lincoln offered a warm smile to infuse Lexa with assurance. “I promise, Commander. Now, what I really don’t get is why you’re switching with Luna? You dealt with Emerson as best as you could under the circumstances. You don’t have to quit, this isn’t on you either Lexa.”

“It’s not that, Linc. I uh, well, I think for the sake of our client I need to go. That’s all.”

Lincoln nodded. “Okay. It is a shame though. You’re family at this point, and I know the staff feels the same way. Wherever you end up working, know that no one will miss you more than us.”

“Me too, Linc. Me too.”

 

///

 

After their flight to Las Vegas, the team escorted Wanheda to her hotel to get ready for her concerts. Clarke had a tight schedule and time was of the essence. Lincoln drove Lexa and Clarke to the hotel to get ready for tonight’s first of three concerts in the Sin City.

To Clarke’s surprise Raven and her mother were waiting in her room along Marcus. She had no idea that they were going to be there waiting for her. Lexa did though, Marcus sent the information to her days before.

Clarke ran as fast as she could to meet her mother and her best friend jumping in their arms.

Anya joined her two teammates once Marcus, Dr. Griffin and Raven had their attention on the musician. All three women filled with tears of joy and relief.

 

“It’s so good to see you, An.” Lexa hugged Anya first and then Lincoln.

“It’s good to be back.” Anya had the remnants of a black eye and other bruises, but in general the bodyguard looked better.

“How are you feeling?” Lexa asked paying attention to any possible discomfort of her friend and partner.

“Way better, squid. That fucker hit me good. How’s your hand? Saw on social media your video almost kicking Echo’s ass.” Anya eyed at the cast Lexa had in her left hand.

“Of course someone at the bar had to share what happened sooner rather than later. Anyway, nothing major happened.” Lexa looked at her left hand, turning it around to get a feel. “This cast makes it itchy but so far so good.”

“That Azgeda singer will definitely give us more trouble in the future.” Lincoln added.

“Emerson showed our weakness as a team. Ontari Snow and her entourage can’t be allowed to do the same. We have to step up our game.” Lexa observed the brace Raven was wearing and felt a pang of regret for not being there when their friends needed her. “How’s Raven?”

 

At that Anya’s face lit up like Christmas. “Raven is beyond amazing and so loyal. She never allowed that bastard to get under her skin. On the contrary, she pissed him off too much when she refused to give Clarke a call to lure her in.” Anya sighed, “Raven was like a tiny, angry warrior against Emerson. I tried to fight him and while Raven started her escape to get help he shot her. I should have done better.”

“This is not on you. My team, my responsibility Anya. We need to tighten up the security for press events now more than ever. They will attempt anything to get a reaction from Clarke, and she isn’t ready for that. Shield her and don’t let anyone harass her for scoop.” Lexa sneaked a glance towards Clarke chatting animatedly with her mother and Raven. Clarke appeared to be lighter already by having the company of her loved ones.

Lexa cleared her throat, regaining her focus. “Luna already sent her timetable so you can add her smoothly into Wanheda’s commitments once she joins the team.”

“Got it. It will be a simple transition, Commander. Don’t worry. I won’t fail.” Anya promised.

“I know, An. Now get some rest before the concert. We have to make sure Wanheda is on time and meets the press without issues.”

Her two partners departed, and Lexa remained nearby the exit to remain as invisible as possible.

 

“Hey, Lexa.” Raven limped her way towards the brunette now that she greeted her best friend. Lexa noticed that there was some tiredness edged on the brown eyes of the usual cheerful sound and light engineer but she said nothing.

“Hello, Raven. I’m glad you’re okay and back with us. Clarke missed you. We all did.”

Raven grinned. “You got that right, commander. Who wouldn’t miss this talented, sexy genius, huh? Without me there’s no show!”

“Definitely.” Lexa offered a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there on time.”

“Hey, I suspected Clarke would appreciate the alone time with you, Lexa.” Raven waggled her eyebrows. “Hope you used it wisely.”

“I’m serious, Raven. Clarke would have never forgiven herself if you… You’re important to her.”

“Same, I wasn’t going to let that fucker put his hands on the girl who picked me first when we were kids. You might know already that Clarke and I met in elementary.”

Lexa nodded.

“What you probably didn’t find in your background check-up is that I wasn’t liked much in school, besides having an absent father and alcoholic mother. Money was scarce. But thanks to my amazing brain, I had a scholarship which allowed me to get an education. Of course, I didn’t have the latest clothes or coolest shoes. Kids belittled and mocked me because of material things. I remember one day everyone was playing and being with their groups of friends, and I was sitting alone with my lunch - a single apple. Clarke, who was a year younger, sat down and offered me half her sandwich. We just started to talk and she never left me alone. Even when the other kids told her to stay away from me, Clarke chose to be with me. Clarke became my family, and I’d do anything for her.”

“That sounds just like her.” Lexa curved her lips thinking of a tiny blonde girl not giving a shit about what others said.

“That asshat is gone and that’s it. We got hurt but still kicking and screaming.” Raven shrugged. “I do have to get to my PT appointment or I’ll never stop hearing it from Abby. I’ll check on the Griff later.”

Lexa nodded giving Raven a pat on her arm before she returned her attention to the musician feeling better knowing that Clarke was surrounded by people who loved her very much.

 

“When I heard what happened I thought the worse.” Abby pulled her daughter into a crushing hug afraid to let go again.

“My bodyguards kept me safe, mom. Just make sure that Raven is well tended.”

“I wasn’t going to let anything happen to her if I could prevent it. We love that girl as much as you do, ever since you two were mischievous girls in school. Her surgery went as well as it could go and even though the neural damage affected her mobility in her leg, she is healing well.”

“Nothing will be spared to make Raven comfortable on tour and back at home.”

 

“Speaking of the tour…” Marcus cut. “What the hell were you thinking going for Ontari?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “That bitch needed a reminder that I’m not here to play her games.”

“Making those kind of headlines is not the way to go, Clarke. Did you forget what happened in San Francisco a year ago?”

“I didn’t destroy that damn room, Marcus!”

Marcus raked his fingers through his hair impatiently. “The press doesn’t care about it. Don’t throw away the last several months of hard work we all have done, Clarke. The new album has to be a success and bringing back this behavior will damage what you have been working for.”

“I fucking know! Geez, I’m not an idiot Kane.”

 

Marcus sighed, “Thanks Lexa for stepping in before things escalated.”

“No problem, sir.”

“We just need to finish the last three and a half months of concerts, and we’ll be done with touring and put all of our efforts on recording the last part of the album.” Marcus concluded.

 

“Oh!” Abby finally noticed the security woman standing in the entrance of the room. “You’re part of her bodyguard team, right?”

Lexa gave the doctor an affirmative nod. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Thank you for watching her and keeping Clarke safe and out of trouble. I know my daughter can be a handful sometimes.”

 

“Mom!” Clarke gasped. “Not true!”

Lexa couldn’t avoid curving her lips slightly, because that was absolutely true.

 

“I know what I have for a daughter. I assure you sweetheart that you can be a pain in the ass from time to time.” Abby grabbed her suitcase. “Alright, honey. I’ll leave you to rest. I’ll stay until you depart for San Francisco to monitor Raven and make sure Jackson is up to date with Raven’s therapy. If you have an opening I’d like at least have a dinner with you, honey. It’s been too long already without seeing you.”

“We can arrange that for sure, Abby.” Marcus smiled.

 

Abby headed for the door, stopping now closer to Lexa. “Miss…?”

“Woods but Lexa is fine, Doctor.”

“Thanks again for protecting my daughter, Lexa. It always causes me a lot of stress knowing that my girl is out there with thousands of strangers who might cause her harm.”

“Trikru Security has a commitment to make sure our clients remain unharmed in whatever circumstances are presented. As long as I am here or anyone else from the team, we will always watch over her.” Lexa answered as it would be expected of a professional like her.

Abby seemed satisfied with her answer.

“That gives me some comfort. Thanks again and if you need me to check that hand or your stitches let me know.” Abby smiled thankful and left the room.

 

Imagine the reaction of the doctor if she knew she was the current object of her daughter’s affection. What would Dr. Griffin think of her? Would she approve of her daughter being with a girl? Of a woman whose task was to protect people for a living?

Lexa knew that Clarke kept that information under wraps due to the stigma in the music industry. Her close friends seemed cool about it, but it was still a huge secret that the paparazzi could use to sell more tabloids if anyone found out about it, the reason why Clarke had been way careful whenever she had her encounters with Niylah and more or less with Lexa.

A secret that was costing Lexa’s sanity and heart.

 

“Alright, Clarke. I do really hope you understood that you cannot go partying with no care in the world. The papz will find anything to write about and getting into altercations with Ontari doesn’t help to restore the image of Wanheda. We didn’t spend time and money that would be wasted because you were a brat.” Marcus scolded Clarke like a father would do.

 

Lexa could see that indeed this staff was like a big family. Everyone cared genuinely for each other.

“I get it, Kane. No more humiliating Ontari.”

“Rest and in three hours Fox will come up to get your makeup ready.” Marcus informed. “Then you’ll meet the press and again, no questions about Emerson will be allowed, and if anyone does your team has the authorization to remove them, Lexa. I think I can arrange dinner with your mom, after the last concert.”

“Cool, thanks Kane.”

“I’ll send the updated schedule as soon as I can, Lexa.” Marcus waved his farewells leaving Lexa now with Clarke.

 

“If you need anything text me. I’m going to see how Anya is doing, okay?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then. I’ll come to escort you to the concert in a couple of hours. Rest well, Ms. Griffin.”

 

///

 

“Clarke.” Lexa mumbled but the blonde was kissing her fiercely, her mouth was sliding over her own, tasting of gum and chapstick. Her kisses were hungry, demanding, she didn’t waste time before pushing her tongue inside Lexa’s mouth, and Lexa wasn’t going to be able to stop her if she kept going because she was weak.

“Clarke, you need to change for the meet and greet!” Lexa managed to say, pushing Clarke just enough to be able to speak.

“Lexa, five more minutes.” She leaned in and kissed Lexa’s neck, peppering her with butterfly kisses and leaving tiny bites here and there. “I like making out with you.”

Among other things apparently, because one of Clarke’s hands moved right into the belt of Lexa’s pants and began loosening it.

Lexa chuckled. “Me too, but your fans are waiting.”

Clarke sighed, “I know.” She pecked Lexa’s lips. “The fans won’t mind if I arrive just,” another kiss, “a tiny,” another kiss, “bit late.”

Clarke’s sneaky hand was right on the elastic band of Lexa’s underwear, and Lexa panicked. Clarke was really efficient, removing belts and bras in no time.

“Clarke, you owe yourself to your fans first and foremost!”

“Fiiiiiine.” Clarke dragged the word childishly taking a step back. “Gosh you look so cute after we make out, lemme snap a quick pic.” Pulling out her phone Clarke snapped a couple of pictures making Lexa roll her eyes.

“See?” Clarke handed Lexa her phone.

Lexa shook her head, “Just hurry!” and handed Clarke her phone back thinking how nice it would be if she and Clarke had those couple matching backgrounds on their respective phones. Sadly that wasn’t possible because they weren’t a couple, much less dating and mostly, too risky if anyone saw Clarke’s phone background with her on it.

 

“Yes, commander!” Clarke saluted and grabbed the clothes left by Bryan on a hanger to change and moved behind the 3 oak panels partition furniture.

Lexa buckled her pants and fixed her hair making herself presentable again.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“Yup?”

“I ah,” Lexa rubbed the nape of her neck, trying to ease the tension there. “After um, we leave Las Vegas.” Lexa let out a slow breath. She couldn’t believe she was stagnating.

“We’re going to San Francisco, baby! There’s a cool chinese place I wanna take you.”

Lexa eyed behind the panels. “I- I uh, that sounds good umm- but…” Lexa breathed in and out, gathering courage. “Look, Clarke. I’m not going to continue-”

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

 

“Clarke!?” Bellamy called behind the door exasperated. “What’s taking so long? The fans are already inside the meeting room. Hurry up!”

 

Clarke came out of the partition already changed into jeans and a black shirt with the name INFINITY TOUR in bold pink letters. They’ve been throwing 50 shirts just like the one Clarke was wearing to the fans at the concerts. It was total mayhem whenever Clarke threw them around. Tonight she almost fell off the stage and into the raging hands of her fans. Lexa had to jump and grab her from her muscle shirt before the fans pulled her into the massive crowd of screaming stans.

 

“One minute, Bell! Gosh, let me breathe one damn minute!” Clarke rolled up the sleeves of her t-shirt, and then eyed Lexa whilst she finished tying her hair. “You were saying something?”

“I’ll tell you later when you have more time. We should hurry now, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa opened the door escorting Clarke to the backstage meeting.

 

Lexa walked Clarke towards the room designated for the meeting the fans with backstage passes. Marcus looked relieved to finally see Clarke.

“All the fans have been already checked out.” Anya informed.

“Alright. Keep all eyes open anyways. No fan touches Clarke inappropriately. If so, we take them out immediately!” Lexa ordered her team.

 

Marcus was giving Clarke his final instructions as to how things were going to unfold and what was expected of her before checking with Lexa that the security was ready.

“Wanheda will interact with all fans for around 30 minutes and then take her back to the hotel.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

Once Clarke took a step inside the door the euphoric fans didn’t waste time and immediately showed their love and appreciation.

Clarke made sure to chat with the younger fans a little longer asking first their names, always using it as if they were long time friends, Clarke asked about how much they enjoyed the show and about school. Clarke always took interest in her younger fans, and Lexa never got tired of seeing the special connection the fans and Clarke shared.

Lexa knew she was thinking of the Emerson kids as well. If Lexa didn’t know her, she would have related the bleakness of her smile to tiredness, but she knew Clarke better.

Guilt that had no reason to exist in her mind returned with a vengeance. However, Clarke loved her fans and knowing that those two kids died heading to her concert simply made her feel it was her responsibility.

Still, Clarke smiled and pushed through the short interaction with the lucky fans.

 

After the allotted time Lincoln got into position to empty the meeting room.

“Dear fans and parents, please head this way. Thank you all for coming.” Lincoln opened the doors to begin emptying the room. Anya kept her eyes on the VIP guests making sure they all left with their belongings.

 

Lexa took that chance to approach Clarke and check up on her. “You okay? You seemed sad for a second.”

Clarke gave Lexa a small smile while she waved to the happy fans on their way out. “Yeah, I’m always thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have cancelled that concert.”

“Clarke, there’s nothing we can do to change that. You don’t know if they would still have made it if you hadn’t cancelled. Not your fault.”

“I know. It’s just something I can’t shake yet.”

“It’s okay to mourn them, Clarke. They were fans who wanted nothing more than to see you live. Best you can do is honor them and give your all in every concert and every meeting. Be the best you can be for your fans.”

“You always know what to say to me, Lexa. Gotta find a way to thank you properly.”

“No need, just be yourself.”

 

Clarke giggled and snapped her fingers. She reached for Lexa’s arm. “Here.” She signed Lexa’s cast with one of the markers she used to sign some posters.

Lexa laughed, “Well, thank you Wanheda. I’m such a big fan.”

“Dummy!” Clarke softly punched Lexa on her shoulder noticing the slight sarcasm, “and a little gift.” Clarke made a quick sketch on the cast underneath her signature.

Lexa arched her brows. “Really? Why a raccoon?”

“Because they’re cute. Don’t fight me on this, Woods.”

“I won’t.” Lexa smiled. She pushed a loose blonde curl behind Clarke’s ear forgetting for a second where they were standing.

 

“Wanheda?” A young fanboy, with sandy blonde hair, probably around 12 years asked the blonde.

“Yeah, Aden?”

The boy grinned seeing that Wanheda remembered his name.

“Are you two girlfriends?”

Clarke’s smiled vanished in a second, and Lexa paled looking ghostly.

“Wha- what do you mean? Girl- girlfriends?”

“Yeah,” the boy nodded enthusiastically. “I recognize her now from the pictures.” Aden pointed at Lexa.

“What pictures?” Clarke widened her eyes.

Lexa’s heartbeat skyrocketed. She was thinking the worst and imagining all kind of scenarios in her mind.

“These.” The boy raised his cellphone showing the image to Clarke and Lexa.

“Oh!” Clarke laughed awkwardly. “Not at all, just a day out with a friend.”

“Ah, alright. I just thought that would be cool. My fave artist being also LGBT would be the cherry on top. Thanks for the pictures and autograph!”

“Have fun, Aden. Thanks for coming.” Clarke waved and gulped down her nerves.

 

“Whew! We’re done here.” Lincoln shut the door.

 

Lexa pulled out her phone and checked desperately for the images. She clicked the first link and let out a long relieved sigh. “Wanheda spends time among art. That’s this headline. Wanheda and a friend spotted nearby the beach says this one.”

Lexa read quickly the articles just to be sure there wasn’t anything too suspicious. After not seeing any kind of speculation Lexa felt her lungs expand again.

 

Anya perked her brow noticing the minor change in demeanor of the shorter woman. “Anything that should be of concern, commander?”

“No, not at all. Let’s drive Ms. Griffin to the hotel. She must be tired.”

 

///

 

Lexa remained quiet all the way back to the hotel. She and Anya escorted Clarke back to her room so she could shower and rest after the gruesome night.

“All clear!” Anya said after inspecting the room.

Lexa allowed Clarke inside after the all clear from her partner

“Um, can you guys wait for me while I shower quickly and change? I’ll hang out with Raven later.”

“Of course, we’ll stay out here. Let us know whenever you’re ready.” Lexa said.

She sat down on the couch to look at the pictures in detail while Clarke began her shower.

Lexa scrolled down checking for anything that could be a hint of their endeavors. But luckily Wanheda wasn’t the focus of all the pictures. It was just a casualty that a fan identified Clarke being on the background of pictures posted by the people visiting the art exposition just like them.

 

“So…” Anya was pacing in the room. “You and Clarke stopped at that fair for like 30–40 minutes before heading to the beach house.”

“Yes, I reported the slight change of plans to Lincoln due to it being impossible to get in touch with you. I’ve should have known better.”

“No one could have imagined that me and Raven were going to be hostages of a vengeful man. That fucker tampered with the security camera to sneak inside knowing one of us would go in. But he got tired of waiting in hiding.” Anya raked her hands through her hair and looked at Lexa. “So considering 2 hours driving plus the short stop at the fair, there's still an hour that is unaccounted for since I left with Raven early in the morning.”

Lexa stood up from the couch, feeling defensive of whatever Anya was trying to imply.

“So what? Clarke wanted to rest some more.” Lexa stated and moved towards the balcony, opening the wide doors that led outside of the suite. It had a view of the ocean and the convention center. Far away you could see the lights of the cars running over the bridge on the horizon. It was a nice distraction. Lexa was stalling for time, but with Anya sniffing around her half-truths, Lexa knew she couldn’t keep running away.

 

Anya joined Lexa, her eyes locking with Lexa’s profile. “Okay, let’s say that in fact Clarke was resting for an extra hour.” Anya narrowed her eyes, doing the math in her head. “Next, you deviated to go to the harbor. That makes 2 hours behind schedule, evidence of how complacent you’ve been with her, Lexa.” Anya said. “Anybody else would have arrived on time.”

“What do you want me to say?” Lexa turned around, feeling herself getting angry. “That I’m sorry for being late? That because of me you and Raven ended up hurt!?”

“No, Lex.”

Lexa clenched her fist. “I fucked up Anya. This is all on me. I shouldn’t have let my feelings interfere with my job. I’m sorry I wasn't there for you!”

Anya sighed shaking her head. “The only one responsible for these wounds is Carl Emerson, but I know you’re lying about Clarke, Lexa. You don’t need to protect her from me.”

Lexa kept silent. She avoided Anya’s inquisitive gaze. Her right hand clenching the railing keeping herself grounded.

 

Anya approached and touched her shoulder. “Please tell me you didn’t cross the line with her. That you didn’t allow yourself to go there.”

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Lexa, I’m not going to rat you out if that’s what you think. You know me way better than that. I’m worried for you, that’s all.”

Lexa lowered her head, letting the minutes tick by. What was she going to say? She couldn't deny it, for it would feel like a betrayal to her feelings for Clarke, but she couldn’t admit it either.

“Lex. You’re a grown woman. I know that you’re capable of making your own decisions, but Clarke is a huge risk.”

“Luna is already on her way to San Francisco. I’m not going to keep letting my weaknesses affect the dynamic of the team.”

“That’s not my concern, Lexa.”

“Then what is it?”

“Squid, she’s one of the biggest music stars, and you’re one more mortal at her feet! The press will rip you to pieces if they hear about this. You’ll get blacklisted from protection agencies if your unethical behavior is discovered. Becca might fire you on the spot. I don’t want that for you!”

“Anya, it’s over! I’m leaving her in two days!”

 

“What!?”

Lexa turned around slowly.

Clarke stood a few feet away from them. Her golden and pink hair still damp from her shower, wearing casual clothes and a very familiar red hoodie on top. Her blue eyes locked with her own green, and Lexa could see the confusion and pain.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how slow I've been updating this one. My beta and I are working on getting back on having a regular schedule update or at least trying. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this update as we enter the last part of this story. Have fun and see you next time!
> 
> Tana


	19. Chapter 19

Clarke toweled her body quickly, avoiding staring too long at the mirror. The remnants of the bruises Emerson left on her skin - even though barely visible now - still triggered her terrible memories. Whenever she closed her eyes she could feel the thick blood in her hands, the awful metallic smell invading her nostrils. She actually could feel sinking that weapon into warm skin. Clarke took a human life with her own hands. One moment he was breathing and the next he wasn’t.

Clarke snapped out of her dark thoughts, her hand was shaking a bit, the sensation of plunging the knife still in her mind.

“He’s gone.” Clarke said out loud. “He won’t hurt you or your friends again.” Clarke tried to find Lexa’s inner voice telling her that she did what she had to do. She protected and saved them. Trying to put her fears in the back of her mind instead of letting them conquer her, she slowed her breathing, thinking of Lexa’s soothing presence, her calming voice.

Clarke washed her hands for good measure, trying to wipe the sensation of dried blood off of them.  Instead she focused on the feeling of Lexa’s short fingernails, smooth plump lips gliding over her skin, tender kisses making her feel alive. A smile drew on Clarke’s face at the thought of it. She was starting to become a puddle of feels thinking about that particular member of her security team.

 

Once back in her bedroom Clarke put on clean underwear, a black jogger and a baggy shirt. She promptly grabbed the Polis Warriors hoodie and sank her face into the soft cottony fabric, inhaling the remaining scent that was all Lexa. She was truly acting like a high schooler but as Clarke had already discovered, she had feelings for Lexa Woods. The kind of feelings that make a heart sing and see the world in a brighter light.

Clarke quickly put on the hoodie before sliding her flats on to leave her room and go see Raven. She missed her friend immeasurably and needed to be there for her after everything that happened. Also, Raven could give her advice on what to do regarding Lexa.

She might be head over heels for the brunette; nonetheless, Wanheda still had around 2 months left of concerts, press meetings, fan gatherings and all the other promotions that Marcus had on the schedule.

 

She walked out of her room to meet her two bodyguards giddy to see Lexa.

“Anya, Lexa. I’m ready to...” However, she didn’t see anyone on the living room. She looked in the kitchen and the TV area, but the two women weren’t there.  That’s when she heard the voices coming from the balcony at the far end of her suite and walked in that direction.

She could see the agitated conversation going on between Anya and Lexa by the tense expression on Lexa’s face and Anya’s hand motions. Considering they were best friends and they had one heck of a close relationship, those discussions usually were pretty intense between the two women.

 

“Luna is already on her way to San Francisco. I’m not going to keep letting my weaknesses affect the dynamic of the team.”

“That’s not my concern, Lexa.”

“Then what is it?”

“Squid, she’s one of the biggest music stars, and you’re one more mortal at her feet! The press will rip you to pieces if they hear about this. You’ll get blacklisted from protection agencies if your unethical behavior is discovered. Becca might fire you on the spot. I don’t want that for you!”

“Anya, it’s over! I’m leaving her in two days!”

 

Clarke froze on the spot.

“What?” She asked.

That couldn’t be right. They still had at least 9 weeks left on tour. Her contract as security of Wanheda was still in force.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?”

Lexa approached Clarke slowly, her eyes not quite meeting hers. Regret and sadness reflected in her big green eyes.

“Clarke, I-” Lexa licked her lips hesitating, careful in her approach. “I wanted to tell you before but something usually happened. I uh, I’m leaving the team once we get to your next venue.”

“My next…?” Clarke furrowed her brows. “That’s San Francisco.”

Lexa swallowed before addressing her partner and friend. “Anya, could you wait outside please?”

Anya eyed Clarke and then Lexa before she walked outside the room, shutting the door behind her.

 

Lexa walked closer to Clarke, stopping about a foot away from her.

“Lexa? I don’t get it. The tour is not over. We have time!”

“No, we don’t.” Lexa swallowed, “ _I_ don’t.”

Clarke was gaping, speechless at the moment.

“Clarke, I can’t keep putting everyone at risk. My lack of objectivity could have cost you your life. I’ve been careless and distracted!”

“And distractions get people killed.” Clarke completed Lexa’s train of thought. “Because love is weakness and you believe that crap like gospel!” Clarke scoffed. “Lexa, if this is about us sleeping together then we stop! You don’t have to leave!”

Lexa groaned, closing her eyes taking deep breaths. “That’s the thing, Clarke. I don’t want to stop. I’ve become a liability to you and my team because I wasn’t impartial! I can never be objective when it’s about you. I need to go for your sake and mine.”

Clarke’s chest tensed to the point that she felt as if she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes became watery with tears threatening to spill at any moment. Lexa’s sudden departure left her raw, exposed.  She knew she loved Lexa, but it scared her to discover how far the brunette with emerald eyes had gotten inside her heart.

“Please, don’t do this.” Clarke begged. “Don’t leave me.” Clarke had to admit that was manipulative as fuck, but right now she would do anything to try to keep Lexa from leaving.

“I made this choice with my head and not my heart. I owe that to my partners and to you. I’m sorry Clarke.”

“That’s bullshit, Lexa. You’re not sorry.”

Lexa rested her right hand on her cheek. “I promise Luna will watch you just like-”

  
“Luna?” Clarke opened her eyes wide. She has heard that name before. Clarke started to dig in her memory, trying to find that missing piece of information.

“Luna. I asked you once about her. You told me she was backup for the tour.” Clarke took a step back removing abruptly from Lexa’s scorching touch, shaking her head. “Oh my god. She isn’t actually backup.”

Lexa shook her head. “She’s my replacement.”

Clarke gasped and fisted her hands, glaring at Lexa. “I asked you that day in the pool who she was after we wrapped up my videoclip, and you failed to tell me she was your replacement? You’ve started lying to me back then?” Clarke growled feeling like a fool. “You made your choice weeks ago!!!”

“I did.” Lexa admitted, her shoulders were slumped. Clarke had never seen Lexa so small and less threatening than now.

“So what was I? Perks of the job!?”

“No, what happened between us…” Lexa exhaled, she put her good hand inside the pocket of her trousers to keep herself from reaching out again. “That was never supposed to happen. My plan was to watch over you until Luna could join us. I wasn’t supposed to give into my desire but I did.”

 

If Clarke could hear the sound of her heart breaking, she thinks it would be something like this.

“You told me you had no regrets about… us. Was that a lie too?”

“NO!” Lexa lowered her head, looking at her black polished shoes. “Never, but it was my mistake.” Lexa said looking back at her again.

“A mistake?” Clarke chuckled with the bitterness of a thousand souls. Finally tears ran on her cheeks, and she felt pathetic and ashamed. “You told me you were going to always be with me, but it seems you’ve done nothing but lie.”

“To watch and protect you and it’s exactly what I’m doing, Clarke!”

“I shared personal things with you, Lexa. Things that no one knows about me not even my best friends. I TRUSTED YOU!!!” Clarke shouted angrily. She clenched her fists. “I told you about myself, about my dreams and nightmares. And you’ve been lying all this time. How can I trust anything you say?”

“I swear I won’t ever share anything you told me, Clarke. Please, I know right now it’s kind of hard but you can trust in me.”

 

“You know what Lexa? If you wanna leave, then leave.” Clarke spat with all the anger and vitriol boiling inside her veins. How could Lexa say they were a mistake? Because yes, it started as a way to appease her need for company, to cope with her loneliness but this became something deeper, something infinitely more than just a good lay with someone from her staff, and Lexa felt that too.

“Clarke, I never meant to hurt you.”

“It’s fine, Lexa.” Clarke shrugged. Her face contorting into a mask of coldness and indifference. “We had our fair share of fun on a job. We knew it had an expiration date.”

Clarke turned around and walked quickly to the exit not giving Lexa time to say anything else.

 

Wiping away the tears staining her face she avoided looking at Anya, she was embarrassed for letting her feelings show on her face, because right now she didn’t want to feel anything at all.

“Let’s go to Raven’s, Anya.”

Anya narrowed her eyes but didn’t say a word, just nodded.

Clarke walked to her friend’s room feeling like she had been shot in the chest. She had lost something more than just a bodyguard.

Betrayal hurt like a bitch.

 

///

 

Clarke had her head on Raven’s lap. She already stopped her sobs and was just trying to compose herself.

Raven kept quiet, just letting her friend let out whatever was troubling her.

“I’m sorry for coming and just crying in here, Rae. I should be asking how are you feeling instead.” Clarke chuckled wiping the remnants of stubborn tears from her face. “I’m such a shitty friend.”

“Don’t sweat it, Clarke. Yeah, sometimes you can be really shitty, but I’m your bestie so I can take it.” Raven joked.

Clarke sat up and leaned against the headboard of Raven’s bed. Resting her hand on Raven’s thigh, “How’s your leg. Is it hurting?”

“Not right now. Sometimes the pain is bearable, but other times it really sucks.”

“I’m sorry.”

Raven glared at Clarke. “Oh come on, Clarke. Stop that already. You don’t have to apologize for what someone else did.”

Clarke sighed, “I know. I’m just sorry for everything.”

“Seriously. You say sorry one more time, and I’m going to punch you.” Raven grinned. “I’ll get better, Clarke. I promise. The brace isn’t that bad and during concerts it’s a great aid.” Raven looped her arm around Clarke’s shoulders. “Are you going to tell me what Lexa did to you now?”

 

Clarke perked her brow. “And how do you know Lexa did something?”

“Ha! Please Clarke. You’ve never been sad or depressed about a crappy headline or not getting on a top 10 chart; besides, I’m way too smart.”  Raven winked.

“Yeah smart ass. It’s a Lexa thing.” Clarke pulled her phone out from her pocket, unlocking it quickly and clicked the photo app. Soon pictures and pictures of her and Lexa filled her screen, making her cry again.

They both looked so happy.  They actually resembled a couple with their big grins and bright eyes looking at the camera.

Could that be a lie too?

 

“Woah, Clarke, this is bad huh? I think I’m gonna have to visit Lexa and kick her ass!”

Clarke shook her head left and right. “She’s leaving, Rae. Lexa quit weeks ago!”

That seemed to leave Raven temporarily speechless. “What? Lexa quit?”

Clarke left her phone on the night table, pulled her knees up and rested her chin on her kneecap.

“I was a mistake for Lexa. I’m an idiot! I shouldn't have pursued her but… I think- I aah, I think I love her Rae.”

“You do?” Raven curved her lips. “I was expecting you to develop a big ass crush but daaaamn, you did fall for her.” Raven leaned over Clarke, hugging her. “I’m here for you, and Lexa might have her reasons to leave us, but I don’t believe she would toy with you. That’s such an unLexa thing to do. I’ll talk with her and see what this is all about, okay?”

“Leave her alone, Raven. It’s over and that’s it. I just need to move on. Forget that she ever existed and focus in my fans.”

“Tomorrow you have a big concert. That will be a great distraction, and after I have murdered Lexa, everything will be fine.” Raven tried to infuse her friend with some optimism, but it was futile. There was nothing anyone could do.

 

///

 

Indeed, her concerts were an amazing distraction. Wanheda was a goddess on stage, revered and loved. People would do anything to reach her, to hug and kiss her. They chanted her name over and over again.

_WANHEDA! WANHEDA! WANHEDA!_

Standing in front of 15,000 people that were only here to see you, to hear you sing and play your guitar had to be the ultimate dream come true, yet she couldn’t feel lonelier.

 

“Thank you!!!” Clarke shouted into the mic. “You’re amazing and I’m truly honored to have you here tonight.”

The crowd cheered louder.

“I think that by now everyone must know this song.”

On cue Octavia started to play the drums, and the band played the intro of her most recent hit single.

The shouts and cheers of the audience increased.

Clarke laughed dryly into the mic. “Yeah, I knew you’d know.” Clarke walked to the long platform that split the auditorium into several sections so she could move around and directly interact with the audience. Moving far away from the bodyguard behind the curtains who she knew was watching her closely.

“I wrote this song thinking of someone in particular.” Clarke said walking closer to the edge where hands extended to be able to reach her, desperate to have the minimal contact with their idol. “ _Bodyguard of Lies_ is a song where we hide our real selves. We keep our true feelings inside.”

Clarke stopped on the far stage high-fiving people. “I hate that this song never prepared me to deal with the lies though. Lies suck!”

The crowd cheered harder, euphoria spreading in the auditorium.

“Maybe, just maybe I shouldn’t be so naive, right?” Clarke began playing some chords on her Fender. “Who’s ready to fuck some shit up?”

And that’s when the crowd went wild. “Hit it O!”

 

The band started to play her number one song, and Clarke let herself pour all her anger and pain into the lyrics of the song.

Her voice felt raw, and whenever she closed her eyes she pictured Lexa.  Times spent smiling and sharing intimate moments together. Clarke had been asking herself how many times Lexa looked at her knowing that she was lying through her teeth. Every time they talked, how Lexa could be so composed when she knew the day was coming fast?

Clarke was heartbroken because she believed Lexa, every word and gesture, but Lexa was willing to leave her behind. Ready to discard her so easily.

“Thank you again, Las Vegas!” Clarke waved to the people in the upper area before she returned to the center of the stage. She turned around and noticed some fans waving and crying.

 

_WANHEDA DON’T LEAVE!_

_WE LOVE YOU WANHEDA!_

_WANHEDA!_

“Hey, I’d never leave you.” Wanheda said to her audience, making sure to state her double meaning clearly to the woman behind stage watching over her. “You’re the best fucking fans ever, and I’d never leave you behind because I do care about you. You’re the reason I can stand here today, so no tears lovelies! C‘mere gimme a hug!” Clarke jumped off of the stage and into the crowd of the front section, driving the auditorium mad.

 

“Clarke! CLAAARKE!”

The blonde heard the shouts of Lexa nearby but she ignored her.

Fans hugged Clarke and cried out of happiness and nervousness. She hugged them back and said words of encouragement allowing the effervescence of her fans envelop her.

Lexa ran as fast as her wounded leg allowed followed closely by Anya. Lexa extended her hand to Clarke. “Wanheda, please come back up the stage now!” Lexa said in her commanding no nonsense voice.

Clarke kept ignoring Lexa’s command. She embraced a couple more fans who quickly snapped some selfies before turning around to the platform of the main stage. She briefly met green eyes before extending her hand to Anya to hoist her back up and out of the VIP section.

Clarke was laughing waving back to the audience. She kneeled to pick up her Fender and made her exit towards the backstage.

 

“Great show everyone!” Clarke gave her guitar to Raven who was finally back to her usual staff duties, making everyone around more enthusiastic than ever.

She high-fived her crew on her way to her dressing room, feeling slightly better after making Lexa’s job a little hellish tonight.

If Lexa didn’t care about repeatedly lying to her face, why should she care about Lexa’s job in return?

It was petty but right now Clarke couldn’t care less.

 

“What were you thinking?” Lexa asked Clarke as she opened the door to her dressing room while Anya did the usual check inside.

“I wasn’t,” Clarke shrugged. She grabbed a bottle of water in front of her mirror and uncapped it to take a long gulp of the cold drink. “I just don’t leave behind the people I care about.”

“That was irresponsible, Clarke! What if anyone dared to touch you inappropriately!? Or worse, hurt you!?”

Anya came out giving the all clear, nodding to Lexa.

Lexa shut the door behind her and opened her black jacket to refresh herself from the heat of the center stage lights.

“No one did such a thing, Woods. Calm the fuck down!”

Lexa blinked a few times, surprised that Clarke cut the usual warmth tone between them.

“That was wrong to do, Clarke. You can’t jump into the crowd just because.”

“What do you care?” Clarke picked up a hand towel and began drying her sweaty arms. “You quit, Lexa. Let Anya deal with my childish behavior if you can’t manage.”

“Clarke, as long as I’m here my job is-”

“To stay out of my business.” Clarke interjected. “I need to change now, Ms. Woods. Please leave.”

If Clarke could at least inflict a little of the pain Lexa caused her with her imminent departure, then Clarke was bitterly satisfied.

 

Lexa licked her lips, her green eyes were glassy, even sad, but her pretty face remained as stoic as ever. Anyone else could have missed the emotions in those eyes, but not Clarke. “As you wish, Ms. Griffin.”

She left the room, closing the door silently behind her.

Clarke let out a sob, but she refused to let herself cry.

 

///

 

Clarke robotically answered all the press questions. Her second single was the focal point of this meeting before they had to depart to San Francisco.

Anya and Lincoln stood behind her.  Lincoln had switched duties with Lexa just like she assured Clarke would happen the last time they saw each other.

“Ah what?” Clarke felt a small elbow on her ribs. She looked at Marcus forcing as smile. “Ah sorry could you repeat your question?” Clarke said to the journalist who was standing up in the conference room.

“I was asking if you can share a bit more about the theme of this second single you announced recently.”

“Right! My ah second single.” Clarke offered a polite smile, trying to put more emotion into her answers. “This song is about finding hope, to open up again and put yourself out there.”

Another journalist raised his hand, Marcus gave him the go.

“Wanheda, with _Bodyguard of Lies_ you told us a story about falling in love, but not giving in to those feelings. With this new song you are telling your audience to love freely, is that the message?”

Clarke pulled the microphone closer. “Ahm, well, it’s not necessarily about romantic love, it could be.” Clarke shrugged. “Anyone can interpret it how they see fit, but to me, _Maybe Someday_ is about hoping that one day you can get what you want, no more doubts - whether it is a job or a lover - I leave that to the fans. I was in a dreamy state when I wrote this one and now I have woken up to reality,” Clarke snorted, “Maybe _Never_ could be a more appropriate title now.”

 

A young female journalist raised her hand next. “This new sound you’re making feels less heavy than your previous work. It is strong and dynamic, and I can see that this upcoming album might deal with more feelings though. Is this what you want to show in your new work? A Wanheda that is more vulnerable?”

Clarke chuckled, “I gave myself a chance to feel more, not just negative feelings but positive too. When I was writing the first songs you could see that indeed, I was more attuned with my heart. I was in a better place emotionally too so you’ll perceive that. However, there are other times when I feel umm, _betrayed_ let’s say. And when that does happens my writing is more raw., but still authentic. When you hear my main album song _Like An Open Wound_ , which has to be recorded after the tour, you’ll find a more angry and painful tune. Not dark or angry but sad and painful.”

“Wanheda, from all your works do you think this is the most true to yourself then?” A middle-age man asked from behind.

“This album is the most I have exposed myself because I want this album to be true to myself. I wanna show my fans that I’m like them, that I love and hurt just the same. These songs are all from a heart that sometimes is happy and sometimes bleeds.”

“Okay no more questions! Thank you all for coming, Wanheda needs to head to her next venue. We appreciate your support!” Marcus concluded the press meeting.

 

Anya and Lincoln made sure to escort Clarke out of the conference hall. Their presence was as usual subtle, practically invisible to protect their client. They moved swiftly and quietly. Attuned to their surroundings, keeping an eye on anything out of place or suspicious. That was how they worked, efficiently.

Nonetheless, the presence of their leader was noticeable. Lexa demanded attention, her figure, even when she was the smallest of the trio was the most powerful. Having Lexa now as backup made things easier for Clarke but also hard. She was used to feeling her around, it was something Clarke was accustomed to. Feeling Lexa’s hand on the small of her back, guiding her from place to place. A small reassuring smile right before she went on stage. Encouraging words whenever she felt sad and a calming presence in her loneliness.

Lexa had become much more through little gestures.

And now everything was back to how it was supposed to be.

Is this was going to be her new normal, Clarke was dreading it already.

 

///

 

“Hey honey, you’re finally here!” Abby went to hug her daughter once she came inside her room.

“Yeah, sorry for the tardiness. The press conference went a bit long.” Clarke said hugging her mother.

She walked towards the dinner table already set up to sit down and have lunch with her mom before both departed to their respective destinations.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” Abby asked concerned.

“I’m tired but okay, mom.”

Abby sighed shaking her head. “Clarke, you went through a lot of trauma. You are clearly not okay.”

“I’m managing, mom.”

“You went on a drinking spree, you barely sleep? That’s far from managing.”

Clarke was about to drink a sip of the wine she poured herself and put the cup back on the table, “Who told you that?”

“That shouldn’t matter, Clarke.”

“Who?” Clarke insisted.

“I spoke with Lexa and-”

“What?” Clarke hit the table, making the cutlery rattle on the table. “She had no right!”

“I asked her about what really happened at the beach house, Clarke. The press was speculating too much so I had to hear firsthand what you went through. You saved them but at a price, baby.”

“I’m fine.”

“Clarke, makeup can do wonders sometimes but even I can see the dark circles under your eyes.” Abby pointed at Clarke’s face.

“That’s not…” Clarke removed her gaze away from her mother feeling herself being exposed. “It’s not that bad, mom.”

 

“Listen Clarke, you don’t have to be strong for me. What you did was heroic, but you weren’t trained nor prepared mentally for that task. It makes sense that you’re affected. I can recommend a therapist for you-”

“Mom, I can deal with this!”

“Honey, I know Lexa has been giving you emotional support but she told me she’s leaving, right? You need someone else to back you up, Clarke.”

“She told you?” Clarke laughed, “Wow, it seems she can’t keep her mouth shut with you, mom.”

Abby frowned disapprovingly. “That’s no way to talk about someone who worries for you, Clarke. Lexa is as concerned about your well-being as much as I am. I insisted to speak with Lexa because you won’t tell me anything, honey. You always want to carry your burdens alone, same thing happened after your dad...” Abby sighed, “Just consider having someone to talk about it, Clarke. Okay?”

Clarke nodded, it was better to please her mom, otherwise she wouldn’t stop worrying her. “Okay, mom. I’ll talk with someone.”

Abby smiled more at ease. “Good, that’s really good. I don’t want to go back home knowing you’re dealing with this alone.”

 

Now that the heavy topic was off the table, Abby and Clarke returned to normal conversation.  They discussed the tour and the experience of meeting new people. Abby shared about her life at home, how much she missed her daughter mostly and of course, discussed how to aid Raven.

It was a lovely afternoon with her mother, her hectic career had robbed her from spending more time with her mother. It was one of the sacrifices she had to make to fulfill her dream. How much was she was supposed to sacrifice for this though?

Clarke had no personal life, she couldn’t even dare to step on a movie theatre anymore.

The price of fame.

And Clarke was definitely paying the price.

 

///

 

After everything was said and done, Clarke bid farewell to her mom who was going back to DC while she was en route to San Francisco.

The trip was pretty much silent among her security team. At least Raven kept her distracted and Clarke couldn’t be more thankful.

 

The drive to her hotel was quick, Lexa was one hell of a driver by the way she escaped some papz cars giving chase to them. Of course, Clarke would never tell Lexa that. Her ego was big enough already based on her fighting skills.

Wanheda was received by fans with signs and some journalists at the entrance.

“How on Earth did they find out which hotel Clarke was going to be staying?” Raven looked through the tinted windows at the small gathering of fans.

Anya laughed, “Oh Reyes, you really have no idea how far some stans will go to see their fave.”

“I suggest we go to the underground parking to leave Ms. Griffin safely.” Lexa suggested.

“That won’t be necessary. Anya and Linc can deal with the fans, and I’d love to say hello.” Clarke said.

“Okay, 5 minutes and we’re out of here.” Anya eyed Clarke seriously. “If things get too euphoric, we pull you out. Is that clear?”

“You got it, General.” Clarke teased.

Raven spat the water she was drinking from a water bottle. “General? Nah, I dig grounder princess.”

“Okay, enough of that nonsense!” Anya put on her shades to hide her embarrassment. “Get your ass moving, you two!”

 

Anya and Lincoln were quick to surround Clarke and Raven on her way to the lobby. Wanheda greeted some fans and allowed them to take some selfies under the scrutiny of Anya. After the allotted time, the two bodyguards encased Clarke in a protective wall and walked her towards the elevator.

As the elevator dinged on the proper floor, Clarke was met by Bellamy.

 

“We have everything ready for you, Clarke. You have this whole floor for you and your security staff. Your bandmates are already set too, and they will be waiting for you at 8 for game night.” Bellamy said as he passed the keycard to Clarke’s suite to Anya.

“Thanks, Bell.”

Lincoln moved Clarke’s suitcase inside her room before the security team departed once they made sure the area was safe, leaving the artist with her staff.

Marcus was the next to come into her room to give Clarke the schedule of her activities.

“Alright, Clarke. We have a press conference tomorrow at 9am, make sure to be in the dressing room early to give Fox some time to do your makeup. The concert at night will be followed by a meet and greet and then we have some TV interviews right after. Bryan will be on standby to prepare a change of clothes right away.”

Clarke nodded to all the information Marcus was giving her. She just wanted to remain in her room for the rest of the day and not hear more work related stuff.

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

“Ms. Griffin, Mr. Kane?” Lexa asked behind the door. “May I come in for a minute?”  
“Yes, of course Lexa!” Marcus replied.

Lexa came inside followed by another woman dressed in a black suit. She had a tan complexion, with clever brown eyes and long curly hair.

“Excuse me, sir. I’d like to introduce my replacement. This is Luna.” Lexa said.

“Nice meeting you, Mr. Kane. Pretty cool working with the famous Wanheda.” Luna smirked.

“Oh that’s great! Nice meeting you.” Marcus shook Luna’s hand.

“Luna is already informed of the protocol and schedule of Ms. Griffin. Anya will lead the team with Lincoln and Luna as backup.”

“Perfect! Thank you so much for your hard work, Lexa. I understand that this tour might have been overwhelming for you. I imagine you rather be back with a boring politician, eh?” Marcus joked.

“Probably.” Lexa offered a tiny smirk. “It was my pleasure working here, sir. I ah, I learned a lot, and I’m going to miss you all. It was an incredible experience.” Lexa said politely. Her green eyes trying to make contact with Clarke but the blonde didn’t want to hear or see any of this.

“Yeah, sure.” Clarke replied dryly. “I can’t wait to start working with you, Luna.”

“Glad to be on the same page, Ms. Griffin.” Luna winked.

“Ms. Griffin.” Lexa ignored the jab Clarke made at her. “Thank you for everything. You’re one of the most dedicated and talented clients I’ve ever had the honor to work with. May we meet again.” Lexa stretched her hand but Clarke left her hanging.

Lexa recoiled her arm back with the most heartbreaking expression.

“Goodbye, Lexa.”

 

“Have a good trip, Lexa and say hello to Indra for me.” Marcus offered sincerely, giving the brunette a pat on her back.

“Ms. Griffin is in good hands. Now excuse me, I have a flight to catch.”

And that was the last time she saw Lexa Woods. Commander of the Trikru Security team.

 

///

 

Here she was, drinking her sorrows in the hotel bar. Raven on her side while her bandmates and staff were fooling around at their table and on the dance floor.

Anya, Luna and Lincoln were keeping their watchful eyes around the VIP section to make sure no person trespassed from the general area or approached Clarke without her consent. Funny thing that now that Lexa wasn’t around she didn’t feel secure. Clarke was used to feeling the gaze of the green eyed bodyguard on her back but now, she felt nothing.

 

Clarke downed the rest of her rum and coke leaving the empty glass on the table, signaling the bartender for another refill.

“Easy Clarke. No need to get yourself wasted.” Raven took a swig of her beer bottle.

“You’re taking her side, Raven. Shut up!”

Raven shook her head. “Nope. I’m not taking any sides. I talked with Lexa before she left, I assure you I was going to blow her up if she indeed played you. But she looked like shit too, Clarke. This wasn’t an easy decision for her either.”

“Yeah yeah, you believed her bullshit excuse!”

“Lexa is making sure you have the right team for protection. Luna is pretty cool and funny by the way.” Raven turned around and waved at Luna who was at the end of the bar table. Luna waved back. “See? She’s cool.”

“What about me? I told her we could stop what we were doing and still she left!”

“Lexa was clearly biased and wasn’t doing her job as well as she should. She requested the change for your own good. And uhm, there’s also big reason too but that’s not for me to say.” Raven finished her bottle and requested another one.

Clarke took her new drink and sipped it shrugging. “It doesn’t matter Raven, she’s gone. It’s over, and I’m done with this. I’m not going to keep pining for someone who didn’t choose me.”

“Things are not black and white, Griffin. I do hope you don’t shut down Lexa. I ah, gosh, just trust in what you had, okay? Don’t give up on her yet.” Raven wanted to say more but instead drank some more.

 

“Hello little birdie. It’s been a while.”

  
Clarke snapped her neck to the side so fast glaring at someone who she thought she would never see again.

“Quint!?”

“I hope you’re not here for trouble, Quint. Leave Ms. Griffin alone right now.” Anya was right behind Quint, holding his shoulder to keep him in place.

Quint raised his hand in a pacifying way. “Relax Anya,” he looked around frowning. “Where’s the commander? Already got bored of you, blondie?” Quint chuckled.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Clarke asked, gritting her teeth so hard.

“I won’t take more than 5 minutes, Anya.” Quint said.

“Ms. Griffin?” Anya asked.

Clarke nodded. “Speak!”

 

He grinned a cheshire cat smile and took out his phone from his back pocket and put it on the table. He unlocked it and clicked on a file.

Clarke paled considerably when she saw her own face smiling at the camera with Lexa kissing her neck from behind. She swiped and found another picture of her and Lexa in bed, with Clarke kissing her cheek.

“How did you- Those… those were on my cloud!”

“I have more from where that came from, birdie.”

“What do you want?” Clarke clenched her fists.

“I want nothing, but my boss Ms. Nia Queen would like to discuss your future contract with Azgeda Records at this address.” He slid a paper over the table to Clarke.

“Now, excuse me. I have to go.” He blew a kiss to Clarke. “It was nice seeing you again.”

 

“Clarke, they can’t sell those pictures. They hacked into your cloud, and we can sue anytime.” Raven was quick to say, resting her hand on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Nia knows that, but that’s not the point Raven. I can sue, and I will win but the damage to my career and Lexa will be done. People will know… I uh I have to meet with Nia. I’m going to fix this.”

“Clarke please, you can’t agree to meet with that wench! That’s what they want!” Raven insisted. “I can get Monty and Jasper to upgrade your cybersecurity right now. We can find a solution together but don’t meet with her.”

Clarke put several bills on the table to pay her tab. “I ah, Anya could you please escort me back to my room?”

“Clarke come on!” Raven tried again but clearly Clarke wasn’t listening.

“Yes, of course. Ms. Griffin.” Anya looked at Raven and nodded, to make sure she knew she was going to make sure Clarke was safe.

 

Clarke began her return with Anya closely behind. She let out a long breath and shut her eyes briefly. A headache clearly starting to get ahold of her head.

“You’ll take me to this address tomorrow.” She said to Anya.

Anya grabbed the paper and read it. “Clarke, let my team find a way to stop that woman. I know you don’t trust me, and I get you’re angry with Lexa, but please let me take care of this before you do anything rash.”

“There’s no way to stop them, Anya. They already have my private pictures. If I don’t agree to what Nia wants, they will force me to come out. My label will know, and the press is going to have a feast. I can lose everything!”

Anya gently grabbed Clarke’s arm stopping her. “Don’t go into the tiger’s lair without a plan. My best friend’s reputation is on the line too. Let me help, Clarke! Quint will release those pictures whether you sign with Azgeda or not. We need you to buy time.”

“Buy time for what?”

“I can dig info and with Raven’s help we could use it to fight fire with fire, but we need you to get us time. That’s all I’m asking. Trust in me and my team.”

Clarke defeated let out a longful sigh.

“Fine! So what do I do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this mess of update schedule. Maybe next time I'll try to write at least 90% like I did with WIld Heart to avoid this disaster. The only thing I can guarantee is that we (me and my beta) will conclude this story, no matter what.  
> If you are still around, we appreciate your infinite patience. For more love that I have for writing sometimes real life gets in the way, therefore, a messy update schedule.  
> Anyway, hope you are enjoying this story so far and can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are almost there.
> 
> Thanks for your comments and support!
> 
> Tana


	20. Chapter 20

The front yard of her house looked just as she remembered. It struck her how the colors of fall were different from the blooming flowers she last saw before she left Polis for the tour. Lexa took a deep breath before she took a step onto the porch and knocked on the door. She waited anxiously, wondering if she was going to be welcomed with relief or disappointment.

Soon the door opened and in front of her was the man who raised her.

“Hello Titus.” Lexa greeted.

The man with a shiny bald head looked at her from head to toe. His eyes stopping on the cast on her hand briefly.

“You’re really back.” Titus stepped aside letting Lexa into her home.

She dropped her duffel bag in the living room looking at her home. Everything was just like she remembered. As if no time had passed.

Titus was a simple man, and rarely remodeled or changed the place where she grew up.

 

“It’s been a while. It surprised me when you called telling me you were coming so soon.” Titus went into the kitchen and poured two generous cups of coffee. He walked to the kitchen isle and Lexa joined him.

“I uh, yes.” Lexa sat and grabbed one of the mugs offered.

“Why?” Titus took a sip and looked at her. “That singer is still on tour yet you are here. Is it the situation with that stalker?” Titus was clearly informed.

“Not really.” Lexa took a sip, letting the bitterness of the black coffee fill her stomach churning with anxiousness. “I felt I needed to take a break.”

Titus scoffed. “That’s a first. That glamourous life must be exhausting. I believe you made a mistake abandoning the police force for this. You risk your life for unworthy people!”

“Clarke is not-” Lexa was quick to come to her defense, but stopped in her tracks. “My client was different, Titus. She’s not like the press implies. There’s so much more to Wanheda.”

Titus arched his brow, pursing his lips. “Still, those clients of yours are always problematic. You’re wasting your experience in this field when you could have been pursuing real justice! You could have been promoted to detective by now…”

Lexa sighed, taking another sip of her coffee. “Titus, I like what I do. I wasn’t happy in the police department, and I’ve worked with incredible people. I’ll continue to do so.”

“Right, of course.” Titus said with the usual disappointment in his voice. After a pause he looked at the woman sitting crestfallen on the stool. “I’m glad that you’re okay, Lexa. Just because I’ll never approve of your job doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see you in one piece.”

Lexa curved her lips knowing this was the most she was going to get from her foster father. “I’ll go to my room and rest. It’s been months of touring. One of the hardest jobs I ever had and I need to unpack and get ready to finish some reports.”

 

After drinking her coffee, Lexa retrieved her duffel bag and returned to her bedroom at the back of the two bedroom house. She passed the small studio where Titus used to have his gun, which she accidentally triggered when she was a kid and finally reached the door to her room.

Her twin bed was perfectly made. Everything was clean and in order. Not that she had many belongings anyway. She dropped her duffel bag on the carpeted floor and sat on her bed. She looked around the small room. On the wall her banner of the Polis Warriors hung proudly in its vibrant red colors. Her desk was filled with some notes from her previous cases. Lexa headed to the desk and realized these were the notes she took prior to meeting Clarke Griffin for the first time.

With sadness she skimmed over the pages, reading what she researched the first time about Clarke. Her friends and usual habits, notes on how to manage her temper, just a basic dossier with the singer’s info that Indra wanted her to read.

Lexa huffed, sadness seeping from her pores. Going back in time and looking at the notes, she realized that nothing would have prepared Lexa for the real Clarke Griffin. Wanheda was a force to be reckoned with and now that she actually had met her and gotten to know Clarke, she knew how wrong was her initial assessment.

 

She grabbed all her notes and stashed them in a folder, putting it inside the drawer. She needed to conclude her final report before she was debriefed by Indra and Becca and had to refocus. If Lexa wanted to continue working for Trikru Security, she first had to prove that she did an optimal job.

 

Lexa began unbuttoning her button up shirt and tossed it inside the laundry basket in the corner of her room, leaving on a white undershirt. Next she removed her belt and tossed her pants next into the hamper.  Finally she put her polished shoes into her closet.

She returned to her bed and slumped on it, exhaling tiredly.

Lexa closed her eyes and soon she was filled with images of Clarke, looking at her with unbridled anger before she left. Clarke was never going to forgive her for the lies.

She completely fucked up by having feelings for her target. She broke the unspoken rule of personal security by involving herself romantically with Clarke, and now she was back home with an unfinished job and a broken heart.

 

“Way to go, Lexa!” She said sarcastically. “You managed to not put Clarke in danger, but you hurt her too.”

The only thing left for Lexa was to begin moving on. To make her heart understand that Clarke wasn’t going to ever reciprocate her feelings, not after what she did. She hoped to that as long as she kept herself busy, she could begin to bury these feelings and somehow cope with the knowledge that she destroyed any chance to make it back to Clarke.

 

“If only it was easy…”

 

///

 

Lexa stood in front of a small 4-story building surrounded by small businesses, Trikru headquarters.  She felt comfortable as if this was where she belonged. The city of Polis wasn’t as grand as Los Angeles or New York, but it was a marvelous place surrounded by trees and mountains, a place that was enjoyable and of course, home of the Polis Warriors.

How could she not love this place?

After resting at home Lexa made sure to send all her pending documentation as expected by her superiors regarding her time with Wanheda and waited to being summoned to a debrief at work. Lexa was hoping for new client assignment so she couls start putting Wanheda and her experiences behind her.

The call came a couple of hours later, the reason why Lexa was now standing in front of the building.

 

At the front desk she was received by Sienna, the secretary of the top dog of Trikru, Becca Pramheda.

“Welcome back, Lexa! It’s good to see you.” Sienna offered a court nod.

“It’s good to be back home.” Lexa stood in front of the desk. “Becca is expecting me.”

“She’s with Indra. Go ahead.”

“Thanks.”

 

Lexa continued slowly towards the double oak doors. Her mind preparing to provide a logical explanation to her request to be replaced.

Lexa breathed in and knocked before peeking. “May I come in?”

Becca raised her sight to meet Lexa. The woman smiled and nodded inviting Lexa in.

“Of course, Lexa. Welcome back to Trikru.” Becca offered the empty chair in front of her desk for Lexa to take it.

She looked just the same, carrying her long dark hair in a ponytail. Wearing a red business dress that matched the red of her lipstick. Becca was a good-looking woman for her age.

 

“Indra.” Lexa nodded as a form of acknowledgement to the black woman standing close to the desk. The manager of her team was one of the most strict in all Trikru and Lexa respected her so much. “Marcus sends his regards.”

“You look well, Lexa.” Indra commented, eyeing her hand. “That situation with the kidnapper was well managed. Good job!”

Lexa nodded and took her seat.

 

“Indeed.” Becca agreed. “You and the team did really well. How’s Anya?”

“Healing.”

“Good. Now let’s talk about your job, shall we?” Becca smiled and clicked some keys on her laptop. “Quint’s removal. That’s the first situation that you handled.”

“Yes. Quint disrespected the client, and you agreed with me to remain a trio.”

Becca nodded. “I trusted you to be the leader the team needed.” Becca continued scrolling down her file and asking questions about all the things in Lexa’s written report.

 

Minutes passed and the back and forth continued until they were finally at the last part of her review.

“You requested the transfer with Luna around midtour, and she wasn’t available until now. Any particular reason for that request, Lexa?”

Lexa inhaled deeply, moistening her lips trying to offer a logical explanation to that decision. “I wasn’t what Ms. Griffin required, ma’am.”

Becca crossed her hands over the desk, leaning forwards a bit. “Tell me. Was the client disrespectful? I suspected Wanheda was going to be a handful but not enough to make you quit.”

“Ms. Griffin wasn’t the cause of my request.” Lexa raked her fingers through her chestnut head. She didn’t want to lie, not to her boss and team coordinator, but Lexa rather keep specific information undisclosed. “The staff was very friendly, and Ms. Griffin was accommodating enough. Even when our presence disrupted her daily life, she cooperated with us.”

“Then what changed?” Indra interjected.

Lexa swallowed hard. “I befriended Ms. Griffin, and I became complacent with her. This is my fault, not hers. I failed to remain objective and affected the whole dynamic of the team.”

 

Becca narrowed her eyes. She leaned back in her big leather chair. “Interesting, considering how unhappy you were when I assigned you a rock star.”

Lexa lowered her gaze embarrassed of her initial behavior. “I made a wrong assumption about the client. Ms. Griffin is a giving person, and she proved me wrong.”

Her boss just giggled shaking her head. “Indra, make sure to contact Anya and see if Luna has managed to fit seamlessly with the team. I’d like to know if the team is experiencing trouble.”

Indra nodded and retreated quietly to do as requested.

“Thank you for your time, Lexa. As far as I can see you accomplished your objective with the client. Marcus spoke highly of you with Indra just recently. You were professional and discreet which is what makes Trikru the most sought personal security company. I don’t see any reason to not allow you to continue on duty. Of course you need to heal that hand first, in the meantime go rest at home and come back next week to begin.”

 

Lexa stood up but she didn’t left the office just yet. “I’m more than ready to continue, Becca. My cast will be removed in three days.”

“I can see your enthusiasm, but for now I rather have you on the floor to manage the less experienced in the company. I’d like you to teach them before I send you away. They might need someone with your experience in the field and managing a rock star is a feat that is uncommon here.”

Lexa sighed, but nodded in acceptance.

“Yes, of course.”

 

///

 

Lexa did as requested and began working with the newbies the following week.

At least she had something to do and did not have time to ruminate in her own head that much. During the day it was easy to ignore her feelings, but at night, when she was alone in her bed everything went back to Clarke. She missed the sight of the cerulean eyes of the singer, her cheeky smile, the feeling of her hands around her waist.

Lexa was such a lost cause, but she had to put those thoughts away and focus on her work as instructor of the new team in development.

 

“No, you can’t let him touch the client Tomac!” Lexa scolded and walked to the mat. “Your position was way off in this scenario. You need to remain at a distance but close enough that if Penn tries to attack you’ll be able to block him before they even touch the client!” Lexa explained to the men in the gym.

They all nodded, and Lexa took a step back. “Okay I want to see it again and be faster Penn. You make a bad assassin with that slowness!” Lexa joked making the men share a laugh.

She stepped away intently on guiding the men practicing maneuvers when she heard a familiar name on the nearby TV filling the silence of the gym.

 

“In other news, Wanheda was spotted with the one and only Roan Quinn!” The voice over of the TV announced.

Lexa blanched and turned to face the TV. “Ah guys, let’s take a 5 minute break please.” She approached the TV and frowned at the images of Clarke being guided by Roan out of a restaurant while they were swarmed by paparazzi.

“What the fuck?”

The way he touched her lower back made her almost growl. She was truly confused because she never expected Clarke to be with that asshole in any capacity.

“Before she left San Francisco fans spotted the duo walking close to each other. Could this mean that Wanheda is making the jump to Azgeda Records or maybe love is in the air?” The TV host asked the audience.

Lexa walked towards her gym bag and searched for her phone. She quickly found the number of Anya and dialed instantly.

“This is not true. Please don’t be true.” Lexa mumbled until Anya picked up.

 

“Well, what a surprise. You finally dare to call your best friend.” Anya sassed.

Lexa rolled her eyes even when her friend couldn't see her. “I texted you when I arrived. Actually, I text you everyday!”

“Yup, but a call would have been nice.”

“Anya?” Lexa inhaled deeply because she knew she was being an idiot. “I uh- I- I saw-”

“Oh you did?” Anya chuckled. “Lexa, you know how this goes. And here I was thinking that you were calling to ask about me.”

Lexa scoffed, she knew Anya was being a goof right now. “I am.”

That made Anya laugh. “I know you, squid. Also, you’re aware that I cannot disclose any information pertaining Wanheda. You’re not working for her anymore.”

“I know.” Lexa sighed, “at least tell me she’s okay?”

“Clarke is such a ray of sunshine. She couldn’t be better.” Anya’s sarcasm was so noticeable that Lexa didn’t need to be there to imagine Anya’s annoyed expression while saying it.

“Come on, An. Cut the crap and tell me! Please.”

 

Anya laughed on the other side of the phone until she quieted. “Lex? I’ve never wanted to see you get hurt. I’ve been a dick to you when we argued about Clarke. I’m not happy if you’re not happy. I’m so so sorry for this.”

“You’ve warned me, An. You were right. I ended up heartbroken, but this is on me. I developed feelings for her, and it didn’t work out.”

“No, I should’ve been more supportive. It’s just I never considered Clarke as a right choice, but that’s me. I shouldn’t have insisted on my biased opinion.”

“Forget it, Anya. Nothing you have said or done could have stopped me from falling for her. It is what it is. Now, tell me what’s going on.”

“Clarke has been isolating herself lately. Sometimes she’s too quiet on the van rides. Raven has been supporting her whenever she has bad dreams, and they’ve been talking more. But she still looks sad. I think I judged unfairly.”

Lexa sighed. “I did that. I hurt her An.”

“It’s not just you, Lexa. There’s a lot going on besides you leaving the staff.”

 

“What do you mean?”

“Just… don’t bother with the TV, you know how this is. I gave you my word that I was going to watch over her, and that’s what I’m doing. You need to trust me with her, Lexa.”

“I do.” Lexa meant it. “I just… Is she in danger? I can help.”

“I know you want to but leave this in my hands. I cannot tell you anything else, otherwise you’d be jeopardizing my job. Lexa, trust in the team.”

Lexa sighed defeated. Anya was right. She couldn’t compromise the team just because she wanted to remain part of Clarke’s life somehow.

“Just, keep her safe. Please?”

“I’ll do my best now I gotta go, we’re moving Wanheda to the concert hall. You take care, squid. See you in a couple of months.”

 

Lexa ended the call and dropped her phone back in her gym bag. She grabbed a bottle of water from a nearby mini-fridge and took a generous gulp.

Clarke hated her and was going under some weird situation that she didn’t know about while she was here stuck at Trikru without being able to do anything to help her.

Lexa had to resign herself that is was best to move on from the musician and not get involved in whatever is going on there.

 

///

 

As the days passed, Lexa developed a routine. Arrive early to Trikru, hit the gym to regain her strength, then take a quick shower before giving instructions to the team on standby to keep them on their toes.

During the afternoons she would focus on writing her reports and helping her teammates whenever they needed her. As long as she kept doing something, she would be able to avoid the temptation to reach for Clarke and find out about her situation.

 

Another way she found to keep busy was talking with Costia.

She developed such an honest friendship with the TV host even though it all started with a mutual attraction. They definitely worked better as friends. It was refreshing to have someone whom she could talk to, besides Anya.

Costia was more sensible and less harsh than Anya in her advice too. Lexa was content to have her friendship and support.

 

**Costia (1:04pm): _I’m serious Lexa, you shouldn’t give up like that._**

**_LWoods (1:08pm):_ ** _**Cos, I can’t thank you enough for your support but I really don’t want to talk about Clarke anymore. It’s over.**_

**_Costia: (1:10pm):_ ** _**Lexa, she’s coming back to New York right before she concludes her tour. It’s a great chance to talk to her!**_

**_LWoods (1:15pm): What?_ **

This left Lexa baffled, she remembered there was no more New York visits on the tour schedule. This was an impromptu visit, and it had to do with what Anya told her when she called her two weeks ago.

**_Costia (1:17pm): yes she is. Her manager requested another interview with me and I can get you into the studio if you want ;)_ **

 

Lexa truly considered that option. Clarke was visiting the last venues of her tour and should be in New York very soon. This could be her chance to talk to her. However, Lexa knew that there was no point when Clarke was filled with anger towards her.

Clarke didn’t give her trust to just anyone. Being in the spotlight meant that anybody could use her to reveal her secrets. Reason why she was so careful with her dalliances here and there and the kind of people she had on her staff.

Lexa broke that trust, and Clarke probably would refuse to see her.

Besides, she could return to Niylah. The woman was exactly what Clarke needed when she felt alone and could easily fill the gap Lexa left.

 

**_LWoods (1:23pm): Thanks Cos. You’re too kind but I can’t._ **

**_Costia (1:26pm): don’t you love her?_ **

**_LWoods (1:27pm): I do. I’ve never felt this strong about anyone ever in my life but just because I believe that she’s the one for me, doesn’t mean I’m the one for her._ **

**_Costia (1:30 pm):_ ** _**dummy! that’s not how soulmates work! XD**_

**_Lexa (1:32pm): There’s no such thing as soulmates, Costia! That’s a stupid concept. You work hard for the relationship and try to make it work. That’s it!_ **

**_Costia (1:35pm): that’s lame lol, I thought you’d be more the romantic kind :P_ **

**_Lexa (1:36pm): I’ll forget about Clarke, eventually. I appreciate your concern but I’ll be fine with time. Maybe I can fall in love again in the future and be happy. No more Clarke talk pls._ **

**_Costia (1:33pm): ok. talk to me anytime xx_ **

 

Lexa sighed and left her phone on her desk. She was exhausted from the tough training session she had in the morning. She was supposed to be writing recommendations for her fellow partners but instead ended up chatting about Clarke.

_Clarke, Clarke, Clarke._

That’s the only non-work subject she thought about since she came back home.

But how could she get anything done when she was listening to Clarke’s music on her iPod and chatting incessantly about her?

So much for not being a fan.

 

///

 

This situation kept nagging at Lexa as the days moved slowly and the city of Polis flowed smoothly with their citizens doing their daily chores in harmony.

A harmony that she lacked. Whenever Lexa went to bed she couldn’t stop wondering what was going on with Clarke.

Tonight was no different. She kept rolling in her bed trying to come up with something, but the news and tabloids weren’t reliable at all.

She got up and walked towards her desk, pulling the chair and sitting down. She looked at an old picture she had on her desk of her and Gustus during one of her first jobs. She turned the lamp and sighed.

 

“Do you think I fucked up again, Gus?” Lexa asked looking at the old picture. “I messed up again. I was supposed to take care of her, not fall for her. I wish you were here and tell me what to do big guy. I didn’t watch your back and look what happened. Now I left her and even though she’s with Anya I can’t stop feeling guilty for betraying her trust.”

Lexa grabbed her phone unlocking it in a hurry. “Maybe I can make some kind of amends, at least my conscience will be less heavy with regret. Gustus? Would you approve?”

Scrolling through her contacts she found the number she was looking for and eyed the smile of the big burly man in the picture. The younger version of herself stood on his side with a tiny smile, still with so much to learn of the craft.

“I swear I’m trying to help her, Gus. I’m not going to try to remain in contact with her after this. I’m fulfilling my duty; this has nothing to do with how I feel for her. I loved you big guy. Wish you were here.”

Checking the clock on the night table Lexa knew it wasn’t the best time to call, but she did anyways because she needed answers.

 

“Hello?”

“Hey Raven, it’s um, Lexa.” She heard lots of voices in the background, she was probably at a concert right now.

“Oh, hey! ‘Sup?”

“I’m sorry to call your personal phone number now, but I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?”

“Err- yeah, just gimme a second to find somewhere private. If Clarke hears me talking with you, she will kick my ass.”

Lexa’s guilt grew for putting Raven in this position. “I’m sorry for this.”

“It’s cool. Just cos Clarkey is pissed at you doesn’t mean I can’t talk to you. I consider you a friend, you know? Clarke thinks I’m taking your side which I don’t. I just understood your point of view, reason why she might take this call the wrong way.”

Lexa heard as Raven drifted away from the voices chatting in the background and waited until she could speak again.

 

“Okay, we’re good. Now, quick question. Why you didn’t tell Clarke how you felt? Things could have been different if you have been fully honest.”

“I told you I can’t do that to her. Not when she has to hide her private life. I didn’t want to burden her more with my feelings for her.”

“Well, things are going to change very soon Lexa and for the record, Clarke wasn’t indifferent to your feelings.”

“She cared for me as a friend, Raven. She was clear on that aspect.”

Raven burst in laughter. “Boy, I don’t know who’s worse; you or Griffin. Anyway, what I can I do for you, commander?”

 

“I ah, I talked with Anya some time ago and umm, she can’t tell me much because she’s under contract but you aren’t. What happened with Clarke?”

She heard Raven take a deep breath on the line before she spoke. “Quint hacked her cloud, and he gave Nia some personal pics of Clarke and you. The intimacy between the two of you is obvious, and they’ll probably release them to the tabloids if she doesn’t sign with Azgeda.”

Lexa was clenching her fists. “Fucking Quint! I’m going to kill him!”

“Easy, Lexa. We got this. We’re digging dirt on Azgeda. So far I’ve managed to find some shady info, but we need more incriminating stuff. Clarke bought us time after she had a meeting with Nia and Roan. She promised to give them her answer after the tour, which is in three more weeks.”

Lexa’s cogs began to turn in her mind, already thinking of some ways to help Raven. “I ah, I did my own research when I started to notice Ontari’s aggressive behavior. Give me two days, and I’ll send you something more incriminating. Don’t tell anyone of my involvement please. I don’t want Anya to get in trouble.”

“Alrighty, my lips are sealed.”

“Thanks Raven.”

With that Lexa concluded the call and now she was a woman on a mission.

 

///

 

She typed furiously on her laptop.  She has barely slept the last two days, but here she was, putting together the last files on Azgeda and the horrible management. Detailing how their musicians basically traded their souls to the devil to be able to shine, while Nia exploited them and took their earnings in shady transactions with shell corporations.

 

“Lexa?” Becca opened the door.

Lexa removed her earbuds. Yes, she was listening to Wanheda’s new single. Guilty as charged.

“Yes?”

“Come to my office please.”

Lexa nodded and quickly uploaded the file on an encrypted email and began sending it to Raven hoping that this would be enough to divert the attention away from Clarke. Lexa stored her Ipod and strolled to Becca’s office.

 

Lexa sat and waited for Becca to address her.

“Thanks for coming, Lexa. I’d like to speak with you again about your transfer.”

Lexa frowned. “I thought the report was clear, ma’am.”

“It was, but there seems to be some things that need to be clearer. You’re not a quitter, Lexa, so I’m still baffled by your decision. Words can only tell me a part of that story, and I’d like to hear the rest from you. You became Wanheda’s friend, which is not strange considering you spent more than half of a year working closely together.”

“Yes. Like I stated in my previous debrief I was biased. My lack of objectiveness could have put Ms. Griffin and my partners in danger. I didn’t consider myself to be the best team member in light of the circumstances.”

“Yes, I recall, but that isn’t the whole picture. Let’s see...” Becca typed on her keyboard and turned around her laptop to show Lexa the screen. It was the website from Vogue with her picture from the photoshoot with Clarke.

“This was a nice surprise.”

Lexa blushed. “I ah, the photographer suggested my participation. I really didn’t want to be in the spotlight, but they considered it a great addition to the photoshoot, and I wanted to help.”

“I think it’s a beautiful cover.” Becca smiled and clicked the next picture. “A walk in the harbor without backup. That was reckless.”

“I took full responsibility of escorting her.”

“Clearly.” Becca clicked again and a new picture appeared. Lexa felt a cold shiver run down her spine.

 

She was looking at herself and Clarke, smiling like an in-love couple, which they weren’t. They were in bed by how Clarke’s hair looked tangled and messy. Lexa had never seen herself smile like that, a blissfully happy expression. She had a full blown smile, holding Clarke in her arms closely, her lips grazing the musician’s jaw line. It was intimate and very telling of the kind of relationship they had.

 

Becca made a pause and looked at Lexa, scanning her carefully.. Lexa felt herself shrink in the chair but remained as still as she could. Trying to maintain some composure and hide her fury. She was going to hunt Quint down and make him pay dearly.

“I couldn’t understand it, but now it all makes sense.” Becca said. “I got an email with the attached picture you just saw.”

Lexa remained silent.

“It was an anonymous email. The intention is clear here, Lexa. Someone wants to cause you trouble. Did you make any enemy while working with Ms. Griffin?”

 

“Quint.” Lexa answered. “He wasn’t happy to be removed from the team and showed a dislike for Clarke.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, but I’ll deal with this situation.”

Becca nodded and deleted the email in front of Lexa.

“Even when it is not contractually written, it’s not advised to develop romantic relationships with our clients. Ethically it is not proper behavior.”

“I know. That was never my intention, Becca. Clarke and I… We connected in some way and I- I tried to fight it. I know there’s no excuse for what I did, but I couldn’t deny my feelings for her anymore. I simply followed my heart.” Lexa sighed, lifting her chin up and looking Becca in the eye. “I understand this leaves Trikru in the eye of the storm if this gets out. I’ll clean out my desk right away. I only ask to keep this between us. Clarke isn’t out to the world, and I don’t want to ruin her career.”

 

Lexa lifted herself out of the chair considering it was all said and done and walked towards the exit.

“You do know that the reason why you got nicknamed the commander was because of how serious and poised you were at all times, right?”

Lexa creased her brows considering the abrupt change of topic and stopped. She turned around, her hand almost on the knob.

“Yes.”

“I don’t see the commander here. I see a woman carrying sadness, determination and love on her sleeve. I’ve seen you work since day one, and this is the first time I’ve seen so much emotion in your eyes.”

Lexa pursed her lips. She wasn’t following Becca’s point.

“You care for Ms. Griffin a great deal. You developed feelings for her, she reciprocated them to an extent, and that’s why you had to quit.”

“She doesn’t.” Lexa corrected. “I mean, Clarke. She doesn’t love me back. I was just emotional support for her, company to ease her loneliness.”

 

“I see. I’m sorry to hear that.” Becca offered a warm smile. “Yes, you crossed an invisible line but falling in love is not a crime, Lexa. Ethically wrong? Yes. Enough to fire you from Trikru after working for me all this time? No.”

Lexa creased her forehead; she tilted her head. “I acted upon those feelings, ma’am. I could have put her in serious danger. I get that you have to let me go.”

“Maybe but I’m the boss, and I believe you did nothing wrong. Someone else could have been selfish and use that relationship to hurt Wanheda. Not you. You managed to protect your target. Lexa, you haven’t lost a single client as of today, and Wanheda is very alive as we speak. You accomplished what you were hired to do, and that’s what I care about. Your personal life is none of my business.” Becca smiled. “Of course it’s expected to make friendships or something else along the way in this job if you remain with the client for such a long time. We are not robots, Lexa. The problem is when you let your feelings dictate a treacherous path for the client. That’s the real danger, but you put the interest of the client first, and you left your position to someone else. That tells me the kind of woman you are.”

 

Lexa dared to look at Becca with a broken small smile. “Yes, I left her, but why do I feel like the villain of the story?”

Chuckling Becca pulled out a folder from one of her drawers and put it on the table. “Because the commander has a heart, and you left behind someone that matters to you. You still made the right choice. Now, I can only imagine you want to get back on the horse and as far as I know you still work for me, Commander.”

That made Lexa curve her lips in a tight lip smile. “I think I do.”

“What worries me is that here…” Becca tapped her head, “and here,” she tapped her heart. “It’s chaos. You want to aid Wanheda because you love her, but you aren’t her protector anymore. You need to let go, Lexa.”

Lexa approached the desk looking at Becca. “I won’t let that interfere with my job.”

“That’s why you're good at this. You can compartmentalize your feelings, but you’re hurt, and you’ll continue hurting. Your heart is like an open wound. The pain is raw, still fresh so I want you to take it easy, okay?”

Lexa nodded.

“Also you have to promise me you won’t contact Anya to learn about your ex-client. That would be something I cannot let pass and would compromise Anya’s integrity as well.”

“I won’t interfere with Anya’s job. You have my word.”

 

Becca slid the folder across the desk. “Here, your new client is an important activist. She requests someone for the next 5 months while she’s in the country. Mrs. Gardner has requested protection for her only daughter. She fears some people will try to stop her from sharing her ideas, and you’re the perfect person for that role.”

Lexa opened the file. “Madison Gardner, 12 years old.” Lexa looked at the attached picture. The girl was a brunette with long hair and blue eyes. “She’s requesting basically a babysitter.”

Becca grinned. “You managed Wanheda... this girl will be a walk in the park.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! This year has been busy for me and my beta, deffo after this fic we are both taking a sabbatical looool.  
> Enjoy this one and we're close to the finish line. Have fun and it's amazing that 2 years later after March 3rd we're still here. Thank you for being around kru!
> 
> Take care!
> 
> Tana.


	21. Chapter 21

With a sharp breath, Clarke woke up startled and felt unable to move.  However, she did manage to clutch her chest, calming her racing heart.

“It is just a nightmare. Just a dream.” Clarke closed her eyes and repeated the calming words over and over until she truly believed she wasn’t in a pool of blood holding _her_ body in her arms.

Once Clarke was calm enough, she turned on the bed lamp. She rolled out of the bed and put on the Polis Warriors hoodie stuffed in her backpack before heading out to meet her best friend whom could offer her some comfort.

 

After the traitor left, Clarke had been in an endless loop of sorrow, pining and anger. The vicious circle was draining the singer’s inspiration and leaving her feeling the absence of the brunette.

This circle didn’t even include the stress of Nia.  Nia still had the upper hand and Clarke had no time left. Tomorrow they’d be leaving Philly to head to New York briefly.  Then she had two more concerts and that was it.  Done with the tour and with it, her time to deal with Azgeda Records and the ploy to make her quit Arkadia Music Group.

 

Clarke reached the door of her friend and hoped she wouldn’t be so pissed because it was an ungodly hour.

_KNOCK KNOCK_

“Rae?”

The door opened a few minutes later and Anya opened the door, she was rubbing her eyes to cover them from the excessive light exposure in the hall.

“Ms. Griffin, this is an untimely hour to visit your friend.”

Clarke was aghast. She took a step back tilting her head to take a look at the room number on the door.

“Oh, you got the right room. Raven fell asleep recently. I’d like you to let her rest, please.” Anya shut the door behind her silently and began moving up the hall.

Clarke was still wrapping her head around the fact that Anya came out of Raven’s room and overcome the complete shock.

Anya rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder “I was helping Raven with her leg. Sometimes it hurts her a lot. We’re not sleeping together if that’s what crossed your mind.”

Clarke flushed and shook her head embarrassed. “No! I ah, nope. Never crossed my mind.”

“Come on. Let’s get you back to your room Ms. Griffin.” Anya turned around and waited for Clarke to join her.

 

The duo walked back to Clarke’s room in a tense silence. Clarke slid her key card to open her door followed by Anya who did a brief check before returning to the living room of the expensive suite.

Next, she went into the small kitchen and grabbed a teapot. “I presume you were seeking comfort after a nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

“For nightmares, tea is the answer.” Anya said while moving in the kitchen. “Sit down, Wanheda. We’ll have an honest talk in a minute.”

 

Clarke nodded and moved to the couch. She tucked her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees while hugging her legs. She hated to be stuck having these horrible nightmares. They weren’t as frequent since she started to talk it out with… her, and Raven was a great help too. Some nights it was inevitable to have them. Mostly, when she was stressed and lately, she was under a lot of stress.

 

“Here you go.” Anya extended a cup of tea to Clarke in offering bringing her back to reality.

“Thanks.”

Anya sat on the other couch and took a cautious sip. “Drink slowly and let the herbs relax you. When on a job I carry tea with me, because it helps me calm my mind.”

Clarke took a sip and let the warmth seep through her cold body. The combination of herbs and floral scents lessened her concerns.

“Better?” Anya perked her brow, observing Clarke from behind her cup.

“Yeah, thanks.” Clarke took another sip, inhaling the soft herbal aroma.

Anya simply nodded remaining quiet while she drank her concoction.

 

Clarke couldn't help but to draw comparisons between Anya and L- regarding the way they carried themselves with discipline and this guarded aura around them. How they kept their expressions tightly wrapped in stoicism and the way they pursued their lips.

She couldn't think about _her_ though, so she shook her head and made conversation instead of drowning in this heavy silence.

  
“Is Raven okay?”

“Yes, her muscles in her leg cramp sometimes, and I try to help when I can.” Anya took another sip.

“Since when!? Raven shouldn’t lie about something this important! She knows I’d be there for her in the blink of an eye!” Clarke worried her lip and drank again before lowering the cup to her lap. “I had no idea she was hurting this much. And here I was using her to help me with my nightmares. She trusted you and not me.”

Anya arched her fine brow and left her cup on the nearby table, crossing her very long legs comfortably. “Clarke, she didn’t ask for help. I actually found her after a concert squirming in pain in a corner. Biting her lip hard to keep silent. You know how she is….”

 

Clarke lowered her head nodding.” Yeah, Raven can be too proud sometimes.”

Anya curved her lips in a barely there smile, but Clarke was quick to catch it. “Yes, that she is.” Anya quickly snapped out of her small slip, straightening a bit in the chair and continued drinking from her cup as if she said nothing.

“I wished she talked to me about it.”

Anya licked her lips and left the empty cup back on the table. “She made me promise not to tell you. Sometimes people lie for a good reason, don’t you think?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. Were they talking about the same person anymore?

 

They returned to the same weird silence. Anya picked up the cups and sat them on the kitchen counter before returning to the couch.  This time she sat closer to Clarke.

“If you have another nightmare, drink this tea. I’ll make sure to tell Bellamy to buy more.”

“I uh, appreciate it.”

“I understand that you also need physical contact to ground you - which my useless friend did, but I rather die than hold you in my arms, blondie.” Anya seemed to joke if Clarke interpreted that tiny smirk correctly. But with Anya you never knew.

“Yeah, you’re not my type either.” Clarke replied, and the tension diminished considerably.

 

“Clarke. I owe you an apology.”

Clarke, shocked, just furrowed her brows at Anya.

“All I wanted was for Lexa to find a connection with someone else and not you. I never trusted you with her, even when you promised me you weren’t playing games. I considered you a frivolous, annoying bitch.”

“Ouch!” Clarke curved her lips more openly. Anya opening up like this was almost a miracle. Perhaps this is a chance to clear the air between them.  It would certainly make Clarke more comfortable in Anya’s presence.

“I fucked up. I was afraid for Lexa even when she stopped being the girl I babysat years ago. Instead, my mistrust was misplaced, and I was unfair to you. I’ve found you aren’t that bad for a rock star.”

Clarke chuckled, “Not that bad, huh? Yeah, you aren’t a total bitch either.”

That made Anya smile. Shoving her hands in her pockets, she let out a longful sigh. “Now rest, we depart early tomorrow to New York. Your bandmates will meet you in Boston for the last two concerts.”

Clarke nodded. “Umm, thanks Anya.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Anya waved before she exited the room.

 

Clarke walked back to her bed. Even when she was sleepy now, all her thoughts were back on the green eyed bodyguard. She really needed to stop doing that.

At least the conversation with Anya sounded more like a cease fire between them, which was good considering she was the best friend of the woman who seeped into her soul and devastated her.

Maybe, Clarke  needed to start talking honestly with other people. Trying to view things from their perspective might provide her with enough insight to find the answers to her questions.

 

///

 

Just as scheduled, Clarke traveled with Marcus, Raven, Anya and Lincoln to New York while Bellamy and the remaining staff made their way to Boston to conclude the Infinity Tour along Luna, under orders from above.

Clarke made the decision to beat Nia at her own game.  But of course, there would be consequences that she would have to face.  No one knew how bad the consequences were going to be and what effect this would have on Clarke and her career. She was going forward with the plan even though Marcus was freaking out over her _choice_.

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Marcus asked for the tenth time. When she sat down to talk about the situation with Marcus things became tense. “I mean, you had to involve yourself with your bodyguard. I can’t believe this happened under my nose!”

Clarke clenched her jaw and fists, exasperated with her manager.

“Clarke, this is exactly the type of scandal we needed to avoid for your career!”

“What’s the problem, Kane!? Is it the fact that she was part of the staff or that she’s a woman?” Clarke asked seriously, staring at Marcus dead in the eye.

Marcus shook her head. “None. It’s simply the wrong time for this to happen and-”

“Kane, you might be the manager, but I’m in charge. Just do what I asked.” Clarke stated clearly.

Marcus raised his hands in defeat. “It’s my job to protect you from yourself sometimes, Clarke. In the past you went on a path of self-destruction, but if you’re ready then so be it;  be aware that the label will not be happy to be blindsided by this.”

 

“Mr. Kane. We have some backup just in case things go awry. We won’t let this affect Ms. Griffin’s safety.” Anya said solemnly. She fixed the tie of her suit, trying to be as invisible during the heated exchange between manager and artist.

“What kind of backup?” Marcus held his chin inquiring about this crazy plan he was against.

 

“I ah, I got an interesting file that will make this look like nothing but boring gossip.”

“Really?” Anya eyed Raven with certain suspicion in her eyes.

“Yup, relax cheekbones. I told you I got this covered. Now the rest is up to you, Clarke.”

 

“Thankfully Costia was kind enough to offer us time today for this last-minute recording, and she guaranteed that it will air tomorrow.” Marcus rubbed his beard, as he paced from side to side trying to foresee all possible outcomes. “The label would be stupid to cut you off. But if Arkadia does, you still have me, Clarke. I’ll make sure to get you a better deal or even go indy if that’s what it takes. Are you really sure that _you want_ to do this? I can’t let you do this under pressure, Clarke.”

Clarke finished tying her hair up in a bun. Next, she looked at Marcus through the reflection of her mirror. “I owe this to myself, Marcus. I’m not going to hide anymore.”

“I’ll head to the TV studio to set up everything, Clarke.” Marcus kissed her head and moved on to the exit. “Anya, please make sure she’s on time. We’re on a very tight schedule with this improvised recording.”

“I’ll contact Lincoln to make sure he has the SUV ready to depart, sir. Be right back.” Anya followed Marcus out of the room shutting the door behind her, leaving Clarke and Raven.

 

Raven moved to the bed to rest her leg. Her hand massaged her thigh slowly. “We got your back, Clarke. If we accepted you the way you are, your fans will too.”

Clarke turned to look at Raven. “What would I do without you or Wells?”

“You’d be bored as hell.” Raven winked. “I hope at least Wells knocked some sense into you. You’ve been amusing these past weeks to say the least.”

“He’s the voice of reason, and I listened, okay? Also, I’m sorry that I didn’t show you my concern and provide more support. Why didn’t you tell me about the pain in your leg?”

“Oh, Anya is going boom! That traitor!”

“Actually I found Anya coming out of your room last night.”

Raven’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “Aaah, I- I see. Yesterday, my leg was being a nuisance, and I called Anya.”

“You can count on me too, you know?”

Raven grinned. “Yeah, but you’re not as hot as her.”

Clarke gasped and punched softly the arm of Raven. “Ass!”

“You can’t fix everything for everyone, Clarke. You need to care for yourself more. I promise I can deal with this, and if I can’t I learned I can rely on other people too.” Raven took Clarke’s hand in hers. “You trusted Lexa for a reason, don’t you think she deserves a second chance?”

“She said we were a mistake, Raven. She left me behind.”

“Stop being so angry and listen to what she has to say. If you’re going to demand honesty, then start with yourself and Lexa. Speaking of… does she knows about the pictures?”

Clarke shook her head side to side. “No. I should warn her at least. Once I talk with Costia nothing will stop Nia from retaliating.”

“Yeah, that’s good. Do the right thing, Clarke. I’ll get something to drink while you make your call.”

 

Clarke pulled out her cellphone and scrolled down until she found her number. She hesitated, her thumb hovered above the green call button.

What was she going to say? It’s been almost 2 months since Lexa left the staff. But Raven was right. Lexa deserved to know the truth, so before she chickened out she pressed and waited.

The phone rang once, twice, and Clarke was about to cancel the call, but then that voice that made her skin prickle answered.

 

“Woods.”

Clarke gulped down, letting out slowly the breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“Uuh, hi, ah, it’s Clarke.”

Now the end of the other line was silent. Clarke thought Lexa was going to cut the call since she hadn’t been nice the last time they talked.

“Clarke...” Lexa said with a small trace of hesitation on her part. “I shouldn’t be speaking with you. Anya could get in trouble...”

“I know. Anya told me something about it, but umm I’ll be quick. I just need to warn you.”

“About what?”

“I’m going to do something. As a result you’ll see pictures that I took of us in tabloids. I am deeply sorry this involves you.”

“I understand.” Lexa replied in a calmed voice showing zero shock at the news. “My boss received one of those pictures.”

“Oh God!” Clarke gasped covering her mouth in surprise. This was way more messed up than she thought. “I’m truly sorry. My intention was never to expose you in this way.”

“Not your fault. Just um, do what you're going to do, and don’t worry about me. I knew the risks of... being with you.”

Clarke nodded forgetting Lexa couldn’t see her. “Right, um okay.”

They remained silent, neither knowing what else to say to conclude the call.

“Clarke-”

“Lexa-”

 

Both said in unison. Clarke snorted seeing how ridiculous this whole situation was.

“You first.” Clarke conceded,

“I ah, it’s nothing really- Hold on a sec...”

Clarke could hear the faint voice of Lexa slightly away from her phone.

“Ryder could you make sure to get Madi? She’s taking forever. Again.” After a pause, she heard Lexa’s voice now back on the phone. “Sorry about that. I uh, well ehm, good luck, Clarke.”

“Thanks.” Clarke sighed wondering since when it became so hard to speak with Lexa. “I just…”

 

“We’re ready to depart, Ms. Griffin.” Anya announced interrupting the phone call.

 

“I- I have to go.”

“Okay um, goodbye, Clarke”

“Goodbye, Lexa.”

How did she end up like this? Anger and emptiness at the same time? There was this endless need crawling inside of her to reach for Lexa and tell her how much she missed her and their friendship.  How did she let this thing with Lexa become such a complicated mess?

 

“All good?” Raven asked grabbing her bags.

“Yup. She has been warned.”

“Okay dokey. Let’s roll!”

 

///

 

As soon as she arrived, she was taken to hair and makeup. Everyone was working quickly to set up a successful and unusual last minute interview.

Clarke was seated while the hair stylist combed her hair.  Unexpectedly the door opened and a familiar face came inside.

 

“It’s so good to see you again, Clarke!”

“Costia, hey. Thanks for finding me a spot for this interview.” Clarke said looking at the gorgeous woman through the mirror, standing tall and looking like a model.

“I can’t pass on an opportunity to interview Wanheda. You bring in incredible ratings, and those are the facts.” Costia smiled leaning against the wall.

“All set!” The hair stylist announced.

“Thanks!” Clarke lifted herself up and fixed the shirt she was wearing to the interview.

“Follow me.” Costia began walking towards the door.

 

Costia guided Clarke to the set.  The staff was already testing the camera angles and lighting before the cameras rolled. It was chaotic, but Costia managed to calm Clarke’s anxiety. Soon the makeup artists were surrounding Costia for last minute retouches while the sound technicians were adjusting the microphone above Clarke.

“I was discussing the type of questions I plan to ask with your manager.  It seems the focus is on your second single, is that correct?”

“Yeah, but I want you to flow with the questions. Don’t be afraid to ask anything.”

Costia furrowed her brows. “Okay. I’ll let it flow.”

Costia was moved to the stage and took her seat while final technical adjustments were made prior to Clarke’s entrance.

 

“Alright, we’re ready!” The director announced. “Everyone in positions, and we’re going to roll in 5, 4, 3, 2…” and pointed at Costia giving her cue to begin.

“Good evening everyone. This is Anacostia del Bosque, and we have a special edition of A Day in the Life. Tonight we have a surprise guest with us. After intense months of touring, we welcome back Wanheda!”

Clarke made her entrance to the center stage and greeted Costia with a kiss on her cheek before taking her respective seat.

“Welcome Wanheda, congratulations on your successful new single and incredible tour!”

“Thanks. It’s been really crazy, but the fans have been more than amazing!”

“So now that you’re basically done, what are your plans? The holidays are coming. Do you have something in mind?”

“I’m going to lay low until the New Year. I miss my family and my home.”

“Of course! So now that you have announced your new album set to be released next year, what else can we expect from Wanheda?”

“The second single, _Maybe Someday_ will be launched early next year, and we’re already planning the video. The idea is to continue the theme with a follow up to _Bodyguard of Lies_.”

Costia nodded showing interest. “That means that Ilian is going to return as the love interest?”

Clarke shrugged. “Not sure yet, but it was fun working with him. Though, I want this song to be more meaningful, and the video has to reflect that.”

“Meaningful how?” Costia arched her brow leaning forward showing her interest. “Your first song is about secret love, and this new song probably promises to act upon that love. Correct?”

Clarke affirmed.

“Does that mean that Wanheda is ready for love?”

 

Clarke chuckled. “I guess. I wasn’t expecting love in the first place, but the heart wants what it wants. Even though I’m single right now, maybe I am not opposed to falling in love again.”

“Rumor has it you’ve been quiet cozy with Roan Quinn. Is he this someone?” Costia asked the bold question.

Clarke shook her head. “No, not at all. Mr. Quinn and his mother wanted to make a business deal, but I can now officially decline it. As a public figure, my private life is hard to maintain. Sometimes things are misinterpreted or even exaggerated and not true.”

“With my job, I can understand.  But the interest in my private life pales in comparison to what you face everyday.”

“Perhaps. The thing is that the press isn’t entitled to my love life, not because I’m ashamed of being a bisexual woman, but because I want to protect my partners from the horrible scrutiny that I’m under all the time. I rather focus in my career and not on my personal life, but sometimes that’s not enough.  Some have violated my privacy by stealing private pictures of me and my family and friends or even significant others to sell them for an obscene profit. All I ask of my fans is that they do not post those pictures or share them. My family, my friends and the people I care about are sacred to me. All I want is respect for me and them.”

 

Costia had to blink herself out of her stupor. She definitely wasn't expecting that. “We appreciate your sincerity, Wanheda. I can assure you that your fans will be the first to make sure your private life remains private. And yes, stealing and posting private pictures is unacceptable and definitely not a characteristic of a good fan.”

 

The interview continued with more questions about the album and the video for her second single. Clarke felt that a weight lifted from her shoulders and relaxed during the rest of the exchange with Costia.

The studio was again in total chaos with technicians moving furniture and equipment.

After Clarke was settled back in her dressing room, Costia joined her.

 

“That was one heck of an exclusive, Clarke.” Costia accepted a bottle of water from one of her assistants and drank from it. Then the assistant immediately left the room. Costia licked her lips and observed Clarke. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Trust me, I’ve been thinking about it for some time. I’m positive; just promise me that when you edit the recording of me coming out, it won’t be changed into a sensationalist headline. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, reason why I’m here with you, Costia.”

Costia nodded, seeing how much trust Clarke was putting into her with this information. “I assure you the interview will go out as planned. It will flow just like you asked.”

“Thanks.”

“No need, Clarke. Now, can I ask you something off the record?”

Clarke frowned but nodded.

 

“What really happened with Lexa?”

“She quit.”

“I’m aware of that. She told me some stuff, but she didn’t explicitly say what happened between you two.”

Clarke perked her brow, annoyance already in her tone. “Great, so she talks to you too, huh? Lexa is honest with everyone but me!”

“I’m just her friend. A shoulder to cry on.”

“Right, but you’d be more than happy to be more than that, or am I wrong?” Clarke asked rather rudely.

Costia chuckled. “Not gonna lie. If she cared for me one half as much as she cares for you, I’d be trying to woe her. Lexa was very clear that nothing, but friendship could happen between us, and I respect that.”

“Then why do you care?”

“Because I know she misses you, even though she won’t ever admit it. I believe you still care about her too or you wouldn’t get so defensive with me. Take this as friendly advice.” Costia smiled and with that she walked away leaving Clarke alone in her dressing room.

 

“Time to go, Clarke!” Marcus called knocking on the door a minute later, “Lincoln is already waiting. Some fans spotted you so we need to disappear. Let’s go!”

Clarke followed Marcus thinking once more about Costia’s words and Lexa.

 

///

 

And so, after 10 arduous hard months of touring, she was finally back home. Lincoln was driving the SUV through the streets of DC. It was late November, and she was utterly exhausted and wanted nothing but to disappear for a while.

As soon as the interview with Costia came out, the press went nuts with the revelation and her fans couldn’t stop talking about it. Some really happy that their idol was part of the LGBTQ community and others not so much.

Jasper and Monty had their hands full managing her social media after the news.  The amount of mentions were staggering. Bellamy was dealing with the press, everyone was desperate to interview Clarke. Meanwhile, Marcus worked with the label to lessen its fear of the revelation’s possible effect on sales (and its profit).

 

Nia swiftly followed through on her threat when Clarke’s personal pictures appeared in online tabloids with doubtful reputations. Marcus immediately took action by instigating a lawsuit. Nonetheless, the damage was done because the pictures spread like wildfire. At least the revelation of her sexuality on Costia’s show diminished the impact of Nia’s revenge somewhat.

Luckily, most fans reported twitter accounts that posted the private pictures. It felt good to have some support from her true loyal fans.

Soon, the speculation of the mysterious hot brunette began. That lasted around 2 hours before a super stan identified her as the ‘girl from the Vogue photoshoot’ and in another hour they found out her identity: Alexandria Woods - Wanheda’s former head of security.

Sadly, the most hardcore paparazzis went on the hunt for the bodyguard in Polis hoping Wanheda would make an appearance to visit her ‘lover’. In an ironic twist, some ended up with broken cameras and swollen eyes by camping outside the Trikru Security building and the Woods’ home. Lexa had to return home briefly to speak to the media in an attempt to end the madness.  She demanded to be left alone.

Clarke felt so sorry for bringing Lexa out of anonymity.

 

As of now, things have calmed enough. Or at least, Lexa wasn’t stalked as much. However, some pictures of Lexa following a kid circled around social media still to this day. Once the connections between Clarke and the brunette woman, from the Vogue photoshoot and the trip to the beach harbor in LA, fans and media created an epic love story, worthy of a lifetime movie.

The fans coined them **Clexa** to Raven’s amusement. She just couldn’t stop joking about it for days. In the end, Wanheda gained more followers than she lost. And her new single and album pre-orders stayed the same, if not increased a bit to the relief of the label.

 

Speaking of Raven - the sound engineer managed to publish the information she got against Azgeda Records not too long ago, bringing another set of legal troubles for Nia and her music label, with other ex-artists from the label stepping up and speaking out about Nia’s abuse. The music tycoon found herself in the middle of her own media storm and multiple lawsuits.

Marcus received an unfriendly call from Nia Queen, who delivered with a not so subtle message - Wanheda had an expiration date.

Still, all Clarke wanted was the fascination with her sexuality, and the feud with Azgeda to die down so she could return to a normal life, or at least, the closest thing to a normal life.

 

“We’re here.”

 

Lincoln’s voice brought Clarke back, and she stashed the tablet that she was using to read the latest tabloid story about her and the bodyguard. Raven was right. The nonsense the press created was definitely not worth her time.

Clarke sighed and looked outside through the tinted window. They were in the parking lot of her apartment.

_Home sweet home._

Anya quickly opened the door for her while Luna jumped out to pull her luggage from the trunk.

“Let’s get you home, Ms. Griffin.” Anya, Luna and Lincoln escorted Clarke to the lobby where she was met by the local security man.

 

“Welcome back, Ms. Griffin. Hope you had a wonderful trip! Your mail is here, and you also received a package. Let me get it for you.” The asian man with slick black hair and brown eyes offered the envelopes with a smile plastered on his face before he walked to a deposit box to get it.

“Linc, can you take care of that package?” Clarke asked.

“Sure.” Lincoln smiled and took the package from the building’s security.

“Thanks Mr. Shumway!” Clarke waved to him and headed to the lift.

 

The lift dropped them on the top floor, and Anya immediately opened the door to conduct the final security check of the spacious apartment with Luna while Lincoln carefully placed the medium package on the living room table.

“Well, you’re here safe and sound. Trikru Security has fulfilled its contract.” Anya announced.

“Thanks so much. I’m gonna miss you all.” Clarke offered a warm smile to the three bodyguards. “Don’t be strangers!”

“Thanks and hopefully we can hang out with you and your staff again in the future.” Lincoln offered his hand for Clarke to shake it.

“Sure. I bet O and Raven can’t wait to see you guys again.”

“It was a lot of fun for me these three past months!” Luna offered her hand next before departing alongside Lincoln.

 

“Take care, Clarke.” Anya said seriously. “I uh, I know it was a living hell with us around, but it was all for your well-being. I hope you understand why we made certain decisions. We do what we must to keep our clients safe.” Anya rubbed the nape of her neck, acting slightly embarrassed. Her fine eyebrows twitching just a bit. “And could you um, tell Raven If she needs help of any kind to call me?”

Clarke nodded. “I will and thanks, Anya. I know we won't be best friends or anything like that, but I appreciate how you helped with the Nia thing. The situation got a bit out of hand, and I’m sorry I involved you and Lexa in this.”

Anya grinned cockily. “It’s what we do. Farewell, Ms. Griffin.”

Anya headed to the door and shut it tightly.  After she left, Clarke was finally alone after so many months with her staff surrounding her every day.

 

Clarke scanned her mail quickly to see if there was anything important. She dropped the envelopes on the table to read later and curiously checked the parcel.

She carefully began removing the protective case until it was completely uncovered; next, Clarke peeled another piece of paper from around the rectangular object until she was met with the object.

She gasped, looking at the beautiful canvas showing a girl reaching for the sky. The painting she had loved when she went with Lexa to the art festival in LA.

“Oh God!” She found a small card attached to it and in neat handwriting was a message.

 

“Clarke,

This girl might not be able to reach the stars, but maybe if I bring the stars down to you, then you might be able to have a little taste of heaven. Consider this my gratitude for always listening to me with an open heart and showing me that I needed to start living.

Thank you for seeing in me someone worth caring for.

Lexa.”

 

Clarke sniffed as tears ran down her face. It was incredible how Lexa did these small things for her just because. Clarke had all the money in the world, and she could buy tons of paintings like this one, but just the fact that this was another gift by Lexa meant the world to her. First, her moleskine and now this.

She doubted Lexa’s intentions, but these gifts were so honest and pure. Lexa might have lied about Luna, but she couldn’t have lied about what transpired between them, because it was real.

 

Clarke knew it, but she was damn stubborn and too petty to let herself see and appreciate the real Lexa that had been there all along.  Instead, she focused on the lies and what she viewed as a betrayal. She had cared for Lexa, she considered her a friend, but her feelings were more than that. She fell in love with the well-spoken brunette with green eyes and was ready to talk to Lexa right before Lexa announced her departure.  Admitting to herself what a blind fool she had been, Clarke now realized she failed Lexa.

She didn’t listen with an open heart. She allowed her anger to surpass her trust and love for the bodyguard and resented her for no real reason.

Precisely now, when she returned to her home, she realized how unfair she had been. She didn’t want to put herself in Lexa’s position, because she knew damn well that she would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed.

 

Clarke took the canvas and left it on her couch and headed to her bed. She’d find a proper place to hang the beautiful piece of art later. Right now she needed to sleep and accept that she fucked up.

She ruined the possibility of something more with Lexa by letting her disappointment control her emotions, and now the gorgeous woman in a suit was back in the shadows where she probably wouldn’t be able to find her.

Not after the mess with the press.

Not after she let Lexa go without telling her why she didn’t want her to leave in the first place.

Because she was a coward.

 

Yes, it was better to sleep and let herself hurt. And whenever she opened that special moleskine where she writes moving songs and sees that paint on the wall, she hopes it hurts by reminding her of what she once had and lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done with the tour! Now moving on.


	22. Chapter 22

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

Lexa turned around and shut off the digital clock on her nightstand. She rolled off the bed and immediately began her morning routine: stretching, push-ups, squats and lunges before hitting the shower. The short workout prepared her body and mind for the day.

After she showered, she returned to her bedroom and opened up her closet to choose the white shirt of the day.  Her closet was mainly filled with white shirts and other parts of her ‘uniform’.  There was a small section in the back with her casual clothes.  Anyone could tell that work was her focus solely by looking in her closet.

She quickly toweled off her body and applied deodorant before putting on clean briefs and a white undershirt. Next, she dressed in her work attire - the white button up, her black pants and belt. Moving in front of the mirror, she added her black tie, tied perfectly as usual, and put on her black suit jacket. To complete the outfit, she sat on the bed and put on a pair of her black socks and polished black shoes. She pulled her hair back into a simple ponytail and headed out to face the day.

 

The current place where she was staying was very modest compared to some of the politician’s mansions or penthouses from previous jobs. It was a three-bedroom apartment in Midtown East, New York, still fancy to her.

She had been living here since Becca ordered it almost 3 months ago. Indra gave her an initial dossier to get her to know her new client. Mrs. Gardner was an advocate in women’s rights and education who was currently in the country presenting her project to the United Nations. Since her ideas were rather revolutionary for some politicians, she feared for her daughter’s safety due to potential for retaliation - the reason why the mother hired the protection.

 

“Good morning, Lexa.” Madi’s help greeted the bodyguard.

“Hello, Shay.” Lexa smiled at the younger woman with dark skin and long black hair cascading over her shoulders who worked in the kitchen.

“I already have your tea ready.” Shay quickly poured water from a kettle into a cup. Her kind brown eyes crinkled in the corners.

Lexa knew Shay had developed a small crush on her, but she always made sure to decline any seemingly harmless invitations as gently as possible. She didn’t want to lead her on if she could help it. Lexa wasn’t looking for love nor a one night stand. She knew that any small distraction could put her client and partner in danger. More accurate was that her heart still was hurting - Clarke Griffin left a wound that needed more time to heal.  Lexa still was disappointed with herself because of the mistakes she made with Clarke.

 

“Thanks Shay. You know there’s no need. Ryder and I can grab something once we drop Madi off at school.” Lexa thankfully accepted the cup and took a sip.

“I know how much Madi drains your energy. That’s all.” Shay smiled and returned to finish Madi’s lunch.

“Ryder, get the car ready. Madi should be here any minute now.” Lexa instructed the huge, burly, bearded man standing ready at the front door dressed in the usual black suit.

He nodded and headed to the parking lot to have their SUV ready for their trip. That’s why Lexa loved working with Ryder. The man was very quiet and followed orders without question.

 

Being back in the field was exactly what Lexa needed; a new sense of normalcy and developing new habits made the transition easier from being on the road for so long.

As hard as Lexa tried to push the hurt away; her love for the rock star made things difficult. At nights, her memories were filled with the sound of Clarke’s rough, raspy voice when singing, with the music from her guitar when she composed in the loneliness of her room, always with a small frown between her brows and chewing her lower lip whilst she wrote a lyric. All of these little things plus a thousand more made Lexa miss her even more. When Clarke refused to wake up or when she requested her favorite mochaccino with an extra pump of espresso and in return, she welcomed Lexa with the brightest smile on the face of the Earth, Lexa had been happy.

Lexa started to fall in love slowly - with every quirk and every fight she had with the rock star, she fell deeper until she was at the mercy of the blonde. And that was definitely the problem. She could never have stopped it in the first place.

Lexa wasn’t infatuated like 99% of Wanheda’s fandom was with the singer, no. She was in love with the woman behind the name, a beautiful woman that is much more than Wanheda. Lexa could not escape the intimacy that they shared.

Becca had been correct in her assumption that it was going to hurt like an open wound, because that’s exactly how Lexa felt. As if her heart was still bleeding even after she treated the wound with stitches.

 

“Oh my God!”

Lexa snapped out of her thoughts -  leaving her cup half-filled with tea and running towards Madi’s room as soon as she heard the girl shout. She couldn’t make assumptions with her client.

“Madi? Are you okay!?” Lexa opened the door and found the teen squealing in front of her computer.

Lexa let out a long sigh realizing it was a false alarm. “Madi, why are you shouting so early in the morning?”

“Lexa, look! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!”

The girl’s light blue eyes shone with excitement, her pale finger pointed at the computer screen.

“Madi, we need to drive you to school now. You should be getting ready not wasting time on the computer. Your mother won’t be happy to hear we’re late again.”

“Lexa, it’s Wanheda!”

 

Lexa froze. This was currently the main reason why she couldn't simply forget. Madison Gardner ended up being Wanheda’s number one fan, and she was so far up Clarke’s pretty ass that forgetting her was an impossible task.

Figures.

Madi knew every lyric and was quick to learn the new ones. She had bought all the previous albums and of course she already pre-ordered Wanheda’s 4th album _Like An Open Wound_.

Also, Madi had most of the magazines where Wanheda had a spread including the Vogue photoshoot from last year that included Lexa. Imagine Madi’s excitement upon realizing  she was the ex-girlfriend of Wanheda? Obviously, Lexa had to correct Madi’s assumption. Since they weren’t anything official, she wasn’t an ex at all. But that didn’t stop the curious girl from asking about her favorite artist’s likes.

To Madi’s disappointment, Lexa kept her lips sealed.

 

Lexa licked her lips and asked with feigned indifference. “What about her?”

“She’s having her annual charity concert right here in New York next week. Maybe mom will let me go. Tickets will be on sale very soon, and this is a once in a lifetime chance for me to go!”

Madi jumped on her bed showing her excitement to the possibility of going to the her first concert of her idol.

“You can ask your mother later, now we have to leave!”

“No way in hell I’m missing that concert, Lexa. You have to help me convince my mom, pleeeaase?” Madi batted her eyelashes, using her best puppy eyes.

Lexa chuckled and grabbed Madi’s backpack. “Here, come on. You’re going to be late and then your mom won’t let you go to the concert.”

Madi pouted but did as she was told, heading to the kitchen to grab her lunch before going to school.

 

///

 

Working for Mrs. Gardner by protecting her only daughter wasn’t so bad. She and Ryder only had to make sure she attended school safely. Nonetheless, Madi could be bratty sometimes - the girl tended to wake up late most of the time, refused to do her homework and loved to eat skittles right before bed.

Not bad at all.

The girl was a little whirlwind with an excess of energy that drove Lexa nuts on a daily basis, but nothing she couldn’t handle. However, the girl melted her stoicism a little bit at a time.

Madi had been a soothing balm for Lexa. Making her smile from time to time and angering her once in a while. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough to keep Lexa busy.

 

Currently, they stopped at an ice cream parlor because Madi was hungry after school and wouldn’t stop whining about it. Lexa joined Madi at the table inside while Ryder remained in the van.

The girl was chatting incessantly about her very stern english literature teacher, and the amount of analysis she was supposed to do for next week whilst Lexa’s eyes scanned her surroundings. Always keeping her eyes peeled in case someone made the wrong move against her client.

Suddenly, on the TV in the ice cream parlor the recently premiered video of Wanheda appeared on screen and Madi swooned.

“She’s so fucking hot!”

“Hey!” Lexa narrowed her eyes. “Language, kid!”

“I mean look at her. She’s so damn sexy!” Madi stopped eating her ice cream completely lost in the video where Wanheda fought to protect Ilian’s character from some gangsters. However, this time Lexa noticed there was another actor with them - a female actor who was Clarke’s partner and apparently frenemy by the amount of bickering and tension between them.

 

“Aaand that’s supposed to be you.” Madi grinned looking at Lexa.

“No, it’s not.”

“Oh come on, Lexa! This song is so obviously about you!”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Madi, you believe every nonsense those magazines publish, and this video just shows that Wanheda is interested in the woman and the guy. That’s all.”

“It’s the new bisexual anthem thank you very much!” Madi said offended by Lexa’s clear dismissal. “BUT, if you pay attention to the lyrics, it’s about making connections and finding that love isn’t perfect but hopeful.” Madi’s white pearl teeth in full blown.

Lexa sighed deeply. “You got all that from a song?” Lexa shook her head. “Madi, just finish your ice cream please.”

 

Madi returned her attention to the video, humming to the pop rock rhythm as the action propelled the story forward.

“She looks so cute with her new haircut!” Madi rested her chin in her hand dreamily, ignoring the chocolate dripping on her hand while holding the cone as she was enraptured by her idol on the TV screen. If one hormonal teen reacted like this to Clarke, Lexa didn’t want to imagine what the rest of her fans thought about Wanheda.

She had heard everything about her perfect round ass to her immaculate hair and amazing boobs. Madi was crushing uber hard for the rock star.

She didn’t blame her, because Clarke was hot and damn sexy.

 

“Yeah…” Lexa said with a small smile looking at the short bob style and how only a couple of threads were colored red. “But she’s so much more than that.”

Madi turned to look at Lexa now that the video was over. “What do you mean?”

“That Wanheda is more than a hot body. She’s a normal person behind the star just like us.”

“I really hope I can meet her one day, but if mom gets me tickets, that’ll be more than I could hope for.” The girl grinned.

“Go wash your hands Madi, you’re a sticky mess.” Lexa instructed before they returned to the SUV parked outside.

On the sidewalk, Lexa noticed a guy with an expensive, high-powered camera. She stopped and put Madi behind her.

“Stay here.” Lexa instructed and moved towards the annoying man.

 

“Don’t you ever get tired people?” Lexa approached before the man could even try to snap a picture and quickly held the man by his shirt. “You won’t get nothing from me. NOTHING!” Lexa growled, her voice low but carried a very real threat. “This girl has nothing to do with me. Stay the hell away. I don’t want to see you stalking me or taking pictures, is that clear?”

“Hey! You can’t-”

Lexa gave a hard shove, and the man fell on his ass. She took the camera and checked the digital roll.  She erased the pictures and threw the camera back at the man. “Next time I won’t be lenient. Consider this your last warning. Now get lost!”

Lexa turned around and returned to Madi’s side, guiding her to the van.

 

The ride back to their home always takes longer than it should due to the usual traffic. Ryder had the radio on and of course Madi wanted to play Wanheda’s songs to Lexa’s chagrin.

“Madi, don’t you get tired?”

“Nope!” Madi shook her head to the beat of the drums. “These songs are so awesome! I looove her voice, and I need practice for the concert.”

“Oh, trust me I can tell.” Lexa’s sarcasm was obvious by now, but Madi didn’t pay attention.

“Can you believe that Wanheda is going to be in the same city as we are soon?”

“Yes, I can.”

“Ugh, you’re so lame, Lexa. Can’t believe that you boned Wanheda and act like it wasn’t a big deal.”

Ryder adjusted his posture in the car seat while Lexa’s ears turned a slight shade of pink.

“Jesus, kid. That’s not… we never... I- I didn’t...” Lexa facepalmed asking God for patience. “Enough, Madison.”  Ryder sternly said to stop the conversation.

The rest of the trip thankfully was spent in silence.

 

///

 

It was Saturday morning and Madi was in her pj’s, pacing in her mother’s office, anxious and excited. The tickets for Wanheda’s concert were going on sale in a matter of minutes. Since it was only one special concert, it would probably be sold out within 5 minutes.

“Sweetheart, calm down.” Her mother chuckled seeing her daughter so stressed out.

“Mom, I don’t care if it’s in the last row, I need to be there. Please!” Madi joined her hands begging.

“Are you going to be there with her, Lexa?” Mrs. Gardner looked at the bodyguard standing silently in the corner.

“Ryder, ma’am. He’s going to be inside the concert hall with Madi while I remain as backup outside. I assure you the security in those concerts is high so no need to worry.” Lexa tried to place the woman at ease.

“Okay then. I’m sorry I won’t be able to join you, baby. Ryder is going to be great company though.” The woman chuckled imagining the big guy standing at a concert surrounded by screaming tweens.

“Mom! It’s almost time!” Madi ran to her mother’s side looking over her shoulder.

“Okay, can’t go to the VIP section because that is beyond our budget, but I think this section will have a good view. Aaand here we go!” Mrs. Gardner quickly added a pair of tickets to her shopping cart, but there was some kind of lag.

 

“Come on, come on!” Madi begged squeezing her hands seeing that the computer froze. “Oh God! Bloody internet!”

“Relax, love. No need to get antsy. It’s simply taking time to add the tickets to the cart. The computer is working fine.”

Lexa wondered where this devotion came from? How had Clarke managed to make such an impact on this girl’s life with her music alone? Since she came out publicly many young fans have turned like a massive wave in support of the artist and were extremely protective of Wanheda. Lexa was impressed by the power that she held. The clothes Clarke wore, her hairstyle, everything influenced these young fans. But what Lexa noticed the most was how Clarke gave vulnerable teens courage and made them feel good about themselves when she spoke about her body image. Wanheda was now perceived as a more positive influence by her unwavering devotion to her fans combined with the image revamped that Marcus orchestrated last year.

 

“There we go!” Mrs. Gardner laughed, and Madi jumped in her mother’s arms.

Lexa chuckled silently watching the mother-daughter moment of happiness from afar. She thought there was a tiny part of her that was envious of their connection. She never had a mother to buy her concert tickets or hold her when she felt a tummy ache. Her foster father was caring but stern. Lexa was seeing a bit of what could have been her life in another universe.

“Wow, that was crazy! But here are your tickets.” Mrs. Gardner stood up from her chair and kissed her daughter's temple. “Now be good. I’ll be back tonight after my meetings today. Pizza for dinner?”

“Yes!” Madi fist pumped in the air. “This requires a celebration!”

 

Madi spent the rest of the day with her friends back home through FaceTime telling them that she was going to Wanheda’s live concert. The girl was another level of excited.

“Madi, don’t forget to do your homework!” Lexa scolded the girl lying on the couch in front of the TV. “I doubt your mother will allow you to go if you don’t keep up with your homework.”

Madi rolled her eyes. “Fiiiiiiine!” The teen whined but finished her call and went to her room.

For some reason Lexa wanted to do something special for the girl.

She walked towards the balcony where the air was crisp, and the day was clear. Lexa pulled out her cellphone to make the call.

After a couple of rings the familiar voice greeted her.

 

“Hey Lex! Did you finally relent and decide to join me for beers this weekend?”

“Hello, Cos and no. I told you I’m busy with my client. Actually, I was hoping you’ll cover Wanheda’s upcoming charity concert?”

“Hmmm. Wanheda? I did not expect you to ever ask about her again since you practically forbade me to even mention her name. What changed?”

“It’s not what you think, Cos. My client... she’s a huge fan, and I’d like to do something nice for her. She’s going to the concert, but maybe you could give her a press pass to meet her idol.”

“Aaaaww you’re such a sweet bean Lexa! Helping the kid huh?” Costia laughed teasing the usually serious bodyguard.

“She’s going to be in the country for around two more months, and she really loves Wanheda. I want to make her stay special, that’s all.”

“You’re such a softy but okay. I think I can get her a backstage pass. Let me tell Artigas to contact Wanheda’s management, but it’s almost a done deal.”

Lexa smiled relieved. “Thank you Costia. You’re truly amazing!”

 

“Not so fast! That means you owe me.” Costia chuckled conspiratorially.

“Of course.” Lexa curved her lip in a lopsided smile. “So what are you going to ask of me?”

“Hmm, let’s see…” Costia teased keeping Lexa in suspense. “Can’t back out, Lexa!”

“Come on, Cos. Cut the drama! I promise...”

“Okay then. You’ll meet me post-concert, and we’ll hang out after I’m done. Deal?”

Lexa furrowed her brows. “Wait. You mean like a date?”

Costia giggled. “Sure, why not? A friendly date if that makes you feel better, but you promised!”

“Okay. Just text me where I should meet you then.”

Costia giggled. “Okay, I’ll send you the pass as soon as Artie gets the green light. It was lovely hearing your voice, dork!”

With that Costia ended the call and Lexa had to wonder what kind of mess she found herself in.

 

///

 

To say that she wasn’t nervous would be a lie. There was no point being nervous though. She wasn’t going to go to the concert per se. She’d be waiting outside for any situation and extract her young client to safety.

Lexa sighed, throwing her arm over her eyes. It was late night, well really early morning, and she didn’t manage to sleep at all. Tomorrow she and Ryder would take Madi to her concert and for hour and a half the girl’s dreams would come true.

Costia managed to get a backstage pass for Madi, and Ryder already had all instructions regarding where to meet Artigas for her surprise.

Also, while Madi was meeting her idol, Lexa would meet Costia for their ‘hangout not a real date’ kinda thing.

Lexa rolled again in her bed, and this time she removed the blanket, stood up and walked towards the small desk and booted her laptop, turning the night lamp to have some light.

 

She had checked the map layout of the entrance and exit of the concert hall. She had reviewed all emergency exits with Ryder already, but here she was again reading the files.

Lexa tapped her fingers on the wood of the desk, battling internally with her curiosity. Earlier in the day she had heard Madi talk about Clarke being spotted last night eating in a fancy restaurant with a friend.

“Yes, I’m an idiot.”

Lexa quickly typed on the google search bar _Wanheda friend New York_ , and the search engine returned many headlines.

One headline read “Wanheda enjoying a lovely night with friend.”

Lexa clicked the link and read the information in more detail.

“As Wanheda’s concert approaches, the star took some time out from her crazy schedule to dine with a female companion. The two seemed relaxed and laughing a lot by the reports of some patrons. The woman is Niylah Harrison, businesswoman and apparently very close friend of Wanheda by how comfortable they looked together. Could it be that there is more than meets the eye between these two?”

 

Lexa let out a slow disappointed sigh, “Why am I searching for this?” Lexa ran her hands through her loose chestnut hair, pulling it away from her face. Her stomach churned. Just thinking how much laughter was shared between Clarke and Niylah made her feel ill.

“Clarke needs someone who makes her laugh.” Lexa propped her elbow on the desk, resting her chin on her hand. “Niylah is a good woman. She’d take care of Clarke. Of course she wouldn’t be as efficient as I could, but I only bring Clarke sadness. Maybe it’s better this way…”

She closed that tab and logged into YouTube. There, she entered Wanheda’s VEVO channel to watch the behind the scenes footage of her latest video. Despite knowing that she shouldn’t be searching for her, Lexa couldn’t help being curious after months of avoiding news and gossip about her.

 

Lexa leaned into the chair and observed how the camera followed Clarke as she explained what stunts they were doing for the day.

Her laughter was just as Lexa remembered. The sound made something flip in her stomach and the way her smile beamed under the sun made Lexa feel more alight. It was contagious to see the blonde waving her hands through her very short blonde hair, giving a charming smile to the camera.

Clarke looked happy. She was a great performer. No one could ever tell if she was actually angry or even sick. She always gave 100% to whatever task she did, one of the reasons why Lexa respected her so much. She was committed to her work just as much if not more than Lexa. Clarke was so passionate about her music. Whenever she put her mind and soul into writing meaningful lyrics, Lexa would see how truly authentic she was.

Madi for sure was going to have a nosebleed if she witnessed Clarke dancing around in those tight leather pants she was wearing for her behind the scenes footage. Lexa leaned forward because she could appreciate a nice pair of legs too.

Lexa had to swallow the dryness of her throat and squeezed her legs. The imagery didn’t help her at all.

 

A soft knock on the door made Lexa jolt. She was embarrassed to be so immersed in the video. She quickly lowered the lid and walked to the door.

“Hey Madi, what’s wrong?” Lexa opened the door fully allowing the young teen to enter.

“I’m anxious I guess.” The girl walked towards Lexa’s bed and sat on the edge, her eyes on her hands fidgeting on her lap. Lexa pulled the chair from her desk to sit in front of Madi.

“Well, try to relax. Tomorrow is your big day, and if you lose sleep, you won’t be able to have enough energy to shout and sing all your favorite songs.”

“I know, but I can’t stop thinking about it, and yes I know it’s dumb but…” Madi shrugged.

“Hey, it’s not dumb. You’re about to watch your favorite person in the whole world perform. I’d be excited too, if I were you.” Lexa smiled trying to soothe her.

 

“Lexa?” Madi raised her brows in question and had a certain apprehension in her voice.

“Yes?”

“When you worked with Wanheda... I know you don’t share anything about it but, did you really like Wanheda? Whenever I talk about her you build these walls and umm, I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“What?” Lexa was surprised Madi felt like this. “No, no no no.” She leaned closer and cupped Madi’s face to make her look at her in the eyes. “Just because things with Clarke, err- Wanheda didn’t work out doesn’t mean you have to hold yourself back. I’m sorry if I made you feel you couldn’t share your excitement because it affects me. I want you to enjoy this experience to the max. Okay?”

Madi smiled nodding. “Alright. Will do and for the record, I think you still harbor feelings for her, otherwise you wouldn’t sneak around at night to watch her videos.”

Lexa blushed. “You heard it, huh?”

The girl nodded again. “I can recognize her voice anywhere in the world.” This time Madi took Lexa’s hand in hers. “Lexa, I swear all her new songs are basically a story about you two, maybe if you-”

“Things are not as simple as you think, Madi. This isn’t one of your fan fictions or those ridiculous love poems you like to read in that dumb magazine you had to have.” Lexa quickly said.

 

Madi shrugged. “I think it is quite simple. You adults are the ones that make a bigger mess. If you like her, just tell her.”

Lexa chuckled. “Gosh, I can’t believe I’m at a point in my life where I’m getting romantic advice from a 12 year old.”

“Don’t you miss her?” Madi eyed Lexa. “I could tell you two were happy. Not that I looked for those leaked pics specifically, but I reported the wankers that posted them online.”

Lexa looked at the younger girl and gave her a tiny smile. “I appreciate that. You’re a good fan, and of course I miss her. She’s a friend. Or was. I don’t know anymore.”

“Then call and ask her.”

“I uh, I can’t. I told you-”

“Yeah yeah yeah I know, Lexa, but really how are you going to know if you don’t ask her about it? Maybe a text if you’re that much of a coward!”

“Hey! I’m no coward kid. Watch it!” Lexa grumbled.

“Well, for what is worth. I believe you two made the perfect couple!”

Now Lexa couldn’t stop the full blown smile on her face. “I wish you focused on your homework with the same passion you have about Wanheda’s personal life.”

“Nope! Homework sucks.” Madi crossed her arms offended. “Wanheda is my priority, and you’re my friend too. I want you to be happy Lexa. I’ve seen how you smile whenever you think no one is looking at you while I watch Wanheda’s music videos. You do love her but you’re afraid of her hurting you.”

“Alright, kiddo. Go to bed. Tomorrow you’ll go to your first concert ever!”

“Yeah…” Madi turned around and looked over her shoulder. “For what is worth, I think you’re hotter than that Niylon chick. Good night!”

 

After her conversation with Madi, she shut down her laptop and pulled out her cellphone from the desk drawer. She was so tempted to text Clarke, because Lexa Woods was no coward.

Howbeit, texting seemed impossible, and she couldn’t do it. What was she going to say?

_Hey Clarke, it’s me Lexa. Yes, the one who left you because my feelings were too much to remain by your side._

_Maybe, hello Clarke. Sorry for leaving you, but I did it for you. Sorry I didn’t write you for months._

Lexa facepalmed. “I can’t.”

She put the cellphone back and tried to sleep hoping to be done with tomorrow’s job and move on with her life.

Clarke was apparently back with Niylah so she had zero chances again. Lexa - the personal security - was no competition for famous people or in this case a businesswoman.

Life was giving her lemons over and over again, and she had no idea how to make lemonade.

 

///

 

They were outside the Madison Square Garden. The number of people making their lines was immense, the excitement palpable in the air. Boys and girls all filled with an incredible energy. You could feel it buzzing in your skin as all of them communicated animatedly and had this glint in their eyes.

It still struck Lexa as amazing that Wanheda could make all these people resonate in unison. That was the power of her music.

 

Lexa escorted Madi along with Ryder to their respective entrance. The concert was in a couple of hours, but the impatient teens were already in line.

“Remember Madi, stay close to Ryder at all times and watch out for your cellphone. There might be some pushing and pulling.” Lexa advised, then she turned to look at her partner.

“Okay Ryder, things will heat up for sure, and Madi isn’t that tall. Try to help her if you see that the crowd might swallow her whole.”

“Hey! I’m not _that_ short!” Madi pouted, stomping her sneaker on the concrete.

“Relax, Madi. If you can’t see from where you are Ryder might be able to give you a boost. I’ll be in contact at all times so report as soon as you’re in place and everything is secured.”

The big bodyguard tipped his chin in acknowledgement.

“Alright, the lines are starting to move inside. I’ll stay out in the van and may periodically walk around the perimeter. If anything comes up you know what to do.” Lexa instructed and waved goodbye to the super nervous girl.

“Have fun!” She managed to throw before her client disappeared from her line of sight.

 

Lexa sighed and shoved her hands in her jacket. She was going to be on her own for some time. According to the plan Ryder will move Madi at the end of the concert to the backstage and meet Artigas, who will take Madi to Costia to meet Wanheda. Then the TV host is supposed to meet Lexa for their platonic date.

Lexa stopped in her tracks. Her brows furrowed in thought. “Should I get Costia flowers? Is that a thing?”

Lexa had to accept that she wasn’t acting like a good friend. She had dismissed all of Costia’s invitations since she came to live in New York to protect her current client, not because she wanted to be rude. This job was what she liked to do - keeping people safe, and she had to be committed to it. To remind herself that her life wasn’t her own as she had a life to preserve instead of hers and with Clarke her work code was disrupted.

It’s not that she cut ties with her personal life either. This was her way to put her thoughts in order and regain that discipline that characterized her. She still texted Costia and Anya to let them know she was doing well on a regular basis and vice versa. She sometimes called home to talk with her foster father to hear his complaints about the reporters that still insisted to bother him and to hear him spill vitriol against the ‘rude rock singer’ which astonished her because Titus hadn’t met Clarke in person.

 

Lexa decided it was better to just invite Costia out for a nice dinner if that’s what she wanted. She started her return to the van, nonetheless she noticed the double take some fans made when they looked at her. She realized that some hardcore fans would know about her. Lexa quickened her steps, put on her aviators and lowered her head to avoid being spotted. She really didn’t need to revive gossip about her and Wanheda.

She managed to reach the car and remained there until the time to meet Costia. She leaned her head on the support looking at the posters all around showing Clarke’s face.

How could she be a good friend with Costia and give her full attention when all that surrounded her was Clarke? She’d be thinking about how close they had been yet so far away.

Sighing, Lexa closed her eyes and tried to nap.

 

///

 

She wasn’t fooling anyone. Of course Lexa couldn’t nap at all. Instead, once it was dark enough to avoid recognition, she returned nearby the MSG to wait. Lexa knew that soon Ryder would be taking Madi backstage.

She hoped that at least the little girl was having fun and enjoying the concert. She knew that those live shows were beyond incredible by the amount of special effects they used to enhance the show. Clarke loved interacting with her audience and connected with them deeply. It was like an intimate session for a couple of hours where it was only Wanheda and her loyal fans.

“Moving into backstage with the mark.” Ryder reported through the bluetooth headset.

“Copy that.” Lexa replied.

 

Lexa observed as the doors began to open, the sound of people talking increasing as they moved out of the venue. She moved to a corner when her phone vibrated. She checked the screen to read the text.

**_Costia (9:25pm): I’ll be waiting for you backstage. Show the pass I sent you to the staff in the back to let you in. See you soon xx_ **

**_Lexa (9:27pm): See you!_ **

She stashed her phone away and made her way to the back of the venue until she spotted a person with a black t-shirt and lanyard with an ID hanging from his neck.

“Hi.” Lexa pulled out the special press pass Costia had gotten her from her back pocket.

The man looked at the pass and scanned it to confirm its validity. “Ms. Woods. You’re with the team of Ms. Del Bosque right?”

“Yes, I’m supposed to meet her.”

“One second.” The security staff grabbed his walkie talkie and radioed his partner telling them to guide Lexa to the TV crew area.

“Alright he will escort you.”

“Thanks.”

 

Lexa was inside, and there were so many people moving water bottles and carrying equipment here and there. It was the chaos that Lexa immersed herself in during her time on tour.

There was a quiet adrenaline spiking around, with everyone doing their jobs as fast as possible, making sure that everything was taken care of.

The man guiding Lexa wore a black shirt just like the guy who received her outside. STAFF written on the back of his shirt in pink bold letters. He took her around convoluted halls. She almost stumbled on some cables taped to the floor, but she managed to keep her footing. Her eyes roamed around room after room, and she caught a glimpse of some younger kids being escorted to the same room. Probably to the meet and greet with Wanheda. Her heart did a small skip, but she ignored it. Behind the kids another man wearing a black cap and the STAFF shirt moved quickly to another door. Lexa did a double take by the familiarity of him but the guy was gone.

“Right here.” The man guiding her opened the door for her to another small office.

“Thanks,” Lexa nodded and as she came inside, she spotted the young cameraman. “Artigas!”

 

“Ms. Woods.” He beamed and offered his hand. “Costia will be meeting you after she’s done chatting with Mr. Kane in a couple of minutes. Follow me.”

Lexa followed Artigas through another section of doors.

“So how was the concert?” Lexa asked nonchalantly trying to make some small talk, not because she was interested in it.

“It was pretty great! The interview was fun and the behind the scene footage is gonna blow the fans’s minds.”

“Mmm, that’s good to hear.”

“You can wait here. Get comfy!” He smiled opening the door and waved goodbye, leaving Lexa by herself.

 

There was a couch and a small fridge filled with beverages and on a table with a white tabletop was a coffee machine and some cups.

The room was comfortable enough. The air conditioner vent made a slight wheezing noise, but other than that inside the room felt comfortable.

Lexa headed to the table and poured herself a cup of coffee. Her stomach was tense, and she was apprehensive that she would run into someone she knew. She preferred to avoid meeting anyone from Wanheda’s staff. It would be too awkward, considering she was avoiding Clarke. What was she going to say if she saw her again?

_Hey Clarke, I can’t stop thinking about you because I’m an idiot and gave you my heart and never got it back._

“Not that I want it back.” Lexa removed her suit jacket and hung it over a chair.

She added cream to her coffee before she took a generous sip, letting the warmth wash away her nerves and sat down. She crossed her legs and waited and waited and waited.

 

She checked her watch wondering about Costia’s whereabouts. She imagined that Costia had to do another set of interviews, and that’s why it was taking her so long to meet her for their platonic date. Lexa decided to text her in before she got up and headed back to the coffee machine. She poured some more liquid, and that’s when the door clicked opened.

 

“And here I was thinking maybe I was going to drown in caffeine before we actually made it to-” Lexa started to say as she finished pouring her beverage, she began to turn around to greet her friend and stopped.

Her eyes became wide as saucers and her lips slightly ajar. Because that was _definitely_ not Costia.

“Clarke?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, as usual thanks for your patience. Hope this was an enjoyable read. See you next update!
> 
> Tana


	23. Chapter 23

The drums beat hard as it guided the band’s pace. Clarke played her Fender whilst head banging mildly, accompanied by Harper and Monroe. They were almost done playing one of the cover songs Clarke used to sing in the small bar Bellamy managed in LA during the very humble beginnings of her career. Clarke could never have imagined that she would be singing her own songs in a stage like the Madison Square Garden years later, but she always made sure to remind her fans in concerts that she started from zero and that dreams can come true, but you have to work hard and maybe have a little luck on the side.

She approached the microphone and sang the last of [Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDbSWTN2vWM).

 

“They want you to be Jesus

They’ll go down on one knee

But they’ll want their money back

If you’re alive at thirty-three

And you’re turning tricks

With your crucifix

You’re a star

 

Of course you’re not shy

You don’t have to deny love

Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me.”

 

The crowd was over enthusiastic, their shouts and cheers engulfed Clarke in love as they wrapped the song.

Clarke wiped the excess sweat from her forehead before she removed the strap holding the Fender, giving it to Raven. Bellamy helped her fix a mic around her waist, and Clarke went back to center stage.

“THANK YOU!”

The crowd was deafening, everyone shouting and cheering on and on.

She cleared her throat and raised her hand to calm the wild crowd.

“Tonight has been an incredible concert!” Clarke began, waiting for the volume of the cheers to decrease.   “I have no words to thank each one of you for being here.”  
The crowd cheered and clapped.

Clarke chuckled. She raised her hand to cover her eyes from the spotlight blinding her. She scanned the crowd seeing how full the stadium was. She read some of the signs that a few of her fervent fans held up in the air with messages filled with love, and she also spotted some rainbow flags around.

“Hello there!” Clarke walked around the stage trying to take in all the people inside the stadium. “Yup, I agree. LGBT fans deserve better!” She laughed as she read another sign. “Haha, sorry can’t say yes to that proposal. But I promise you’ll find someone who will marry you, lovely!” She winked at the girl holding the proposal sign back in the upper level and returned back to the center of the stage.

 

“Thank you for always supporting me! You’ve been wonderful. I’m so humbled by your kindness and love. Tonight’s special concert is going to guarantee that many LGBTQ kids have a safe place to get help. The proceeds from every ticket sold tonight go 100% to this wonderful cause that you’ve supported tonight!”

The audience applauded and shouted with more force.

“Thanks again for being amazing and for making my second single remain in the Top 10 charts since its debut. This upcoming album is my most personal and intimate on to date, and I can’t wait for you to hear it.”

 _WANHEDA WANHEDA WANHEDA!_ The crowd chanted over and over.

Clarke waved to the audience and bowed. “Thank yooouuu!!!”

 

She jogged backstage and let out a tired sigh. “Thanks guys, great job!” She began high fiving her staff now that she was finally done. It had been two intense hours, but everything sold out so her charity concert was a success.

“Clarke you have now 5 minutes to take a break before the meet and greet.” Bellamy checked his notepad, making sure Wanheda was complying with all her responsibilities of the day.

“Okay Bell. Got it.”

 

Anya took a step closer to Clarke now that they were heading into her dressing room, walking right behind the rock star.

“One second.” Anya walked inside the dressing room before Clarke could even enter, following protocol. “All clear. I’ll stay right here while you refresh yourself. Raven is supposed to come and see you in a second.”

“Thanks, Anya.” Clarke smiled to her bodyguard and shut the door behind her.

Marcus was satisfied with Trikru Security so he requested their services again to protect Clarke in her new press rounds and upcoming concerts, mostly because Nia dared to threaten Clarke in not a very subtle way before she concluded her Infinity Tour. Indra was kind enough to resend her team, with the addition of Penn, who was the new driver and backup.

Interesting that Octavia and Raven were the most pleased with this decision of having Lincoln and Anya back.

 

She drank from the water bottle waiting for her at the nearby table, spilling some from her greedy mouth, but it was oh so refreshing.

She walked to her dresser and checked her cellphone and felt butterflies as soon as she read one of the text messages left on her phone.

**_Costia (9:45pm): Lexa’s here. Artigas took her to the press break room. At this time no one should be there anymore._ **

Clarke’s heart began to beat wildly. She was scared that this wasn’t going to work, but as of now Lexa was in this same place. Just a couple of doors away from her.

**_Clarke (9:48pm): Thanks Costia. I have to do the M &G rn but after I’ll check on her. Thanks for doing this._ **

**_Costia (9:49 pm): I told you already why, Clarke. Let’s call it even if you don’t F it up. Thanks for the extra bts footage too! :) good luck_ **

 

_KNOCK KNOCK_

Raven came inside, she was beaming as she moved to sit in the nearby couch.

“Ready?”

“I’m ready.” Clarke combed her hair quickly with her fingers.

“Everything is set up.” Raven told Clarke with a wink.

Clarke nodded, but she was rooted to her spot. She eyed Raven with a pout. “What if she doesn’t want to see me?”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Griff, it’s going to be okay. Don’t chicken out now that she’s within your reach. You’ve been pining for her for months. Don’t you dare to waste this chance to reconnect!”

Clarke took a deep breath, her heart was racing, and her mind filled with anxiousness and doubt. “Rae, I wasn’t kind to her, and what if she doesn’t like me like that anymore?”

Raven stood up. She stood in front of Clarke resting her hands over Clarke’s shoulders. “Look at me, Clarke.”

Clarke locked her gaze with Raven’s brown eyes.

“No more second guessing yourself. Anya is pretty sure Lexa is still smitten as fuck.”

“Bullshit! Anya wouldn’t tell you that.”

Raven grinned. “There are a lot of things Anya shares with me, Griffin. I also know things…”

“You sure you’re only getting massage on your leg, Raven? I just had the weirdest mental image, and it wasn’t pleasant.”

Raven laughed loudly. “Don’t change the topic. We’re talking about you going after your girl. Remember, just tell her how you feel, Clarke. That’s all you have to do. You can’t waste this opportunity Costia just gave you.”

Clarke chuckled, “Yes, I know.”

 

“Pretty surprised that dear Costia played wingman for you though. I did not expect that.”

“Yeah, neither did I, but I told you she did it for Lexa, not me. Costia loves her still I suppose.”

Raven smiled wider and let go of Clarke. “You’ve got nothing to fear if Costia did this for Lexa. She ain’t no threat. Lexa wants _you_ , dumbass! Trust me!”

“Right, because you know things…”

“Correct, now back to plan. I’ll keep Anya busy so you can sneak away to meet Lexa, okay?”

“What about Linc?”

“O will take care of him.” Raven wiggled her eyebrows.

“Yeah, they’ve been very lovey dovey lately or is it just me that sees it?”

“Nope, I think at this point everyone sees it, Griff.” Raven opened the door.

 

“Have I told you how nice your butt looks in those trousers?” Raven grinned at Anya.

Anya rolled her eyes in annoyance. “I believe so, Raven. Ready Ms. Griffin?”

“Yup.”

“Linc, we’re on our way.” Anya announced through her comm link. “Penn, stay in the west gate to take Ms. Griffin back to her hotel as soon as we’re done with the meet and greet. Copy that?”

“Where’s the fire, Cheekbones?” Raven teased the taller woman. “And here I thought you’d like to spend some post-concert time with me.”

Clarke giggled watching her friend try to make Anya blush. Lately the banter between the sound engineer and the only female bodyguard of her team had gotten a bit risqué.

“Raven, don’t you have to get your soundboard or something?”

“And miss this?” Raven pointed at Anya’s ass again. “I don’t think so, grounder princess.”

“Penn? You there?” Anya ignored Raven. Instead she frowned. “Penn, hey do you copy?” Anya sighed. “Fuck! If he’s taking a coffee break again, I’m going to murder him myself.” Anya was getting antsy by how she locked her jaw, in a very similar fashion like Lexa.

“Okay, let’s hurry up ladies. I need to check on my partner.” Anya instructed.

 

///

 

Lincoln was waiting patiently at the main door. “Already scanned the guests. Good to go.”

“Thanks Linc.” Anya nodded to her partner.

“By the way, Ryder is inside with his client.”

Anya narrowed her eyes, her lips curling in a barely there smirk. “No shit.”

Lincoln scratched his short mohawk with a quizzical expression. “Yes. What a coincidence.”

Anya huffed. “I’m not sure it is. Ms. Griffin?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Clarke shrugged.

 

Anya turned to look at Raven, and stepped closer in that intimidating way that apparently was a trait she shared with Lexa too. “Ryder is Lexa’s partner and what a coincidence that he’s here, huh? Anything you know about this?”

Raven nonchalantly shoved her hands in her pockets. “Well um, there’s no conspiracy here Cheekbones. Artigas brought them in. Like my boy Linc said, it’s all a coincidence.”

Anya threw one of her death glares, but Raven was clearly immune by the saccharine smile on her face.

“I better check on Penn. Be right back.” Anya kept her eyes on Raven, not trusting the latina for one second.

 

“Alright! Come on Clarke. Time is of the essence.” Marcus guided Clarke inside the meet and greet designated room.

The fans immediately applauded welcoming Clarke. She waved and smiled to the people inside the room.

Marcus raised his hands to quiet the audience. “Welcome everyone, please make sure to keep your cellphones or any recording device in your pockets. All pictures will be taken by our team and sent to the e-mail addresses you provided. Wanheda will take 20 minutes to say hi to everyone now.”

 

Clarke greeted many happy boys and girls, but also some adults. Her fanbase was pretty wide, and she was happy to know her songs reached people of all ages.

She noticed in the corner a young brunette with green blue eyes that kind of resembled a mini-Lexa. Behind her, a huge man with a long beard stood observing the area. Clarke gulped as a way of easing her nerves seeing the beast towering behind the girl. That _was_ intimidating; still, she approached seeing the girl was almost too nervous to even come say hi to her.

 

“Hey you! Thanks for coming to my concert!”

“I- I- uuh, I love you so much!” The girl sputtered.

Clarke giggled and rested her hand on the girl’s wrist to hold her hand and ease her nerves, squatting a bit to be at eye level with the kid. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Madi. Ah, nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you too, Madi. Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, it was amazeballs! I still can't believe I’m standing right here with you. I had no idea Lexa planned all of this but Ryder brought me here after and I couldn’t-”

“Woah slow down, Madi.” Clarke smiled.

_So that’s how Costia managed to make Lexa even put a step nearby._

“Lexa?” Clarke asked just to be sure.

“Yeah, my bodyguard err- your umm ex?” Madi shrugged looking at her shoes embarrassed. “Sorry. That was inappropriate.” Madi mumbled.

Clarke shook her head and for the love of God she hoped she wasn’t an ex-something in Lexa’s life. “It’s okay, Madi. Want a picture?”

Madi nodded enthusiastically. Clarke guided the girl in front of the cameraman and posed with Madi for a couple of pictures before signing a poster and giving it to the girl.

“Thanks so much for being here, Madi.” She hugged the girl and took a step back.

 

“We thank you for coming tonight!” Marcus began announcing. “Wanheda now has to leave, but we are very thankful for your presence.”

Lincoln stepped next to Marcus. “Please everyone come this way.”

The fans started to empty the room slowly while chattering about their incredible once in a lifetime experience.

 

Anya was coming to escort Clarke back with a puzzled expression, but suddenly Raven stepped in and held her arm, whining in pain. “Goddammit. Aaah, Anya could you help me here and take me back to the break room?” Raven squinted in pain holding her brace.

Anya’s face contorted in concern and quickly moved to aid Raven. Clarke huffed, she couldn’t believe Raven’s low tactic of using her leg to lure Anya; however, it was clearly working by how worried Anya suddenly was.

 

Clarke approached Madi stealthily. “Would you like to meet the rest of the band?” Clarke asked only for Madi’s ears. She needed more time to keep Lexa around so sending Madi on a behind the stage tour would be a way to ensure more time.

“Yeah!”

“Cool. Wait a minute here.”

She eyed Bellamy and waved at him to approach her. “Bell, could you take Madi to meet the girls and show her my Fender please?”

Bellamy scrunched up his nose dusted with freckles confused as to why the girl was receiving special treatment. “Does this have to do with Lexa? One of the guys radioed Ms. Woods was here with Costia’s team.”

“Bell, just do this.”

“Clarke, think about what you’re doing. You already know what happened the last time you decided to have fun with her.”

“This has nothing to do with that, Bellamy! Do as I say!”

“Okay, fine but don’t complain later if things get out of hand again. I don’t think that woman is someone you should keep around, Clarke.”

“Bellamy, you’re Kane’s assistant, not mine, so stop questioning my decisions. Is that clear?”

Bellamy clenched his jaw, but kept his mouth shut. “I just want what is best for you Clarke but fine. Let’s go this way kid.” Bellamy pointed to the opposite door, and Ryder followed the young girl to her new destination.

 

Clarke never have wanted to punch someone so hard. Sometimes Bellamy could get irritable, considering he was simply the assistant manager.

She exhaled to release her sudden anger and checked that Anya was nowhere in sight before she scurried away and headed to find her girl.

 

///

 

She was standing right outside the door of the press snack room. Her heart was beating wildly, and her hand was shaking as she hesitated before turning the knob. She was afraid to see anger or hate in Lexa’s beautiful eyes.

“Come on, just like Raven said. Tell her how sorry you are. If she doesn’t want to see you after this, then it’s okay…” Clarke whispered in an effort to compose herself before opening the door. With a deep breath, she went inside, because this was it. After months of not being with or around Lexa,  they were going to be reunited again.

 

“And here I was thinking maybe I was going to drown in caffeine before we actually made it to-” Lexa was on the coffee table slowly turning around to look at Costia, or at least she had assumed it would be Costia.   The sight took Clarke’s breath away.

Lexa was aghast, her expression slack, completely stupefied.

“Clarke?”

 

She gulped down her nerves and took a tentative step forward, rubbing the nape of her neck. Lexa was wearing her black slacks and white button up, with a burgundy tie knotted around her neck. She looked as good as ever.

“Hey Lexa. I uh I know you were waiting for someone else but-”

“Costia isn’t coming?” Lexa asked furrowing her brows.

Clarke shook her head.

Lexa left her cup of coffee on the table; she was shaking her head with her brows still furrowed.

She moved to the nearby chair and picked up her suit jacket, putting it on.

“What kind of game are you and Costia playing, Clarke?”

“No games.” Clarke clarified, her blue eyes noticing the brunette’s confused expression. “Costia told me you were going to be here and asked me if I wanted to talk to you. I took the opportunity to try to make amends considering how things ended between us.”

 

“That traitor.” Lexa mumbled whilst she adjusted the knot of her tie and buttoned her jacket. “Last time we were together you wouldn’t even talk to me after you learned the truth. Why now?”

“I was beyond angry and disappointed back then. You lied to me, Lexa. I expected lies from everyone but you. That betrayal hurt me deeply but I’ve had time to think, perhaps too much time.”

“I told you how sorry I was, Clarke. What’s the point of revisiting that conversation? I don’t want to fight again.”

“Me neither. I’m here to tell you what I learned. Hopefully, after all is said and done, we at least can try to rekindle our friendship. Again, I’m sorry about luring you here like this, but I assumed you wouldn’t want to hear from me or see me again. Not after I treated you like shit.”

“I admit I was trying to avoid you when Madi, my client, told me she wanted to come to the concert, but not for the reasons you might think. I don’t resent you, Clarke. I could never hate you. I understand why you were angry, and I don’t blame you.  If you had lied and left me for reasons I couldn’t or wanted to understand, I would have been just as angry.”

Clarke nodded trying to put into words all the things she wanted to say. She had so many things to explain and not as much time as she needed.

 

“Do you still believe that what we had was a mistake?” Clarke dared to ask after a pause.

Lexa sighed, closing her eyes and opening them after a few brief seconds. “I crossed a line, Clarke. You were my client, and I let my feelings cloud my thoughts. I put you in danger!”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Clarke took a tentative step forward. “I know last time we talked I said what we had was just fun, and that I didn’t care if you left. But I said it from a place of bitterness. I wanted to hurt you, but I didn’t mean it.”

Lexa dropped her shoulders, looking slightly exhausted. “Let’s not dwell on the past.” Lexa pushed the heel of her hands against her eyes, rubbing the tension away. “Madi... I need to get back to her. This isn’t a good idea, Clarke.” Lexa started to head for the exit.

 

Clarke panicked and quickly took ahold of Lexa’s arm when she passed her. “Lexa wait. This isn’t over goddammit! Can we please talk and be honest for once? Did I mean so little to you that is so easy to dispose of me?”

“What? No, Clarke. But what’s the point? You _clearly_ moved on.” Lexa accused.

“Moved on? What are you… Oh, Niylah.” Clarke let go of of Lexa’s arm. Lexa thought she was back with Niylah. “Lexa, you should know more than anyone that tabloids are full of shit. Niylah is only a friend. Just like you have Costia, I have her.”

“Sorry, that’s none of my business.” Lexa seemed remorseful of her previous accusatory tone. “Clarke, whatever we had was a long time ago. I made the mistake of not stopping this thing we had, and I put you at risk. I can’t change the past, but I did what I could to keep you safe.”

“Lexa, that’s the thing. I didn’t need protection. I needed _you_!”

Lexa swallowed hard, keeping an impassive face, but Clarke could see right through her. There was guilt and regret, but also something else in those eyes. A fire that burned deep within. A flame that Lexa kept secured tightly inside her soul.

Clarke took another step forward trying to make Lexa understand what she was trying to say.

 

“Lexa, what we had wasn’t a mistake, and you know it. You didn’t want to stop, neither did I. That was the danger, right? In the end the world found out anyways and for that I’m deeply sorry. Dragging you into the forefront of my world was never my intention, but not because I was ashamed that you were my bodyguard or that I was using you.” Clarke took another step and rested her hand on Lexa’s chest, right above her heart. She could feel the strong _badump_ of Lexa’s heart, and for some reason that made her feel at ease.

“What do you want from me, Clarke?”

“I want _you_ , Lexa.”

Lexa blinked slightly confused.

 

“After the disaster with the press, I tried to talk to you and apologize to your family. I travelled to Polis, and your father wasn’t too happy to hear me and threatened to cut my head-”

“He what!?” Lexa growled.

“Aah I uh, I showed up unannounced. A couple of days after I went back to DC, I had a few days off. I drove to Polis to talk to you, but you were back with your new client, and your dad was quick to kick me out of his house.”

Lexa clenched her jaw and fisted her hands. “Now I understand why he spoke so ill of you. I’m going to have a word with him. I swear to god-”

“It’s okay. Nothing bad happened.” Clarke tried to calm down the bodyguard. “Your father didn’t hurt me; he was just mad.”

Lexa exhaled softly, rubbing her hand over her tired eyes yet again. “It’s not okay, and I swear Titus won’t ever threaten you again, but you shouldn’t have gone by yourself either. It was reckless!”

“I know, but your life changed abruptly because of me.”

“That was Quint. Not you, Clarke. If anything good came out of that disaster was your interview with Costia. I’m proud you opened up about yourself. It was brave.”

“Not really. I had to do it to get ahead of Nia, but it feels good to be who I really am though.”

 

Clarke shuffled her feet trying to return to the main topic. “I also wanted to thank you for your gift. The painting.”

That was what made Lexa’s brows shot up to her forehead and changed her demeanor. “Oh um, I forgot about that. You don’t have to keep it or anything.” Her ears tinted a mild pink, and it was so cute.

“I love it! The few times I’m home I look at it, and it reminds me of us. The girl reaching for the stars… so close yet so far away. Like us.” Clarke smiled at Lexa. “I’m sorry I took you for granted. I have many regrets in life, but the thing I regret the most was letting you go.” Clarke took Lexa’s hand in hers. “I refused to see things from your perspective, and instead I pushed you away. I missed you every moment since then. I learned a little too late how much you meant to me - as a friend and as a lover.”

“Me too, Clarke. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I wasn’t a good friend either when I gave up on us too soon. Being a bodyguard means putting my client first, and that’s what I tried to do with you. The problem was that you never were just a client to me…” Lexa’s eyes fell onto her lips briefly before meeting her eyes again, and Clarke felt that spark between them. The same sexual and intimate tension was there as if no time has passed at all.

“And you weren’t a simple bodyguard to me, Lexa. We’re not bound by duty, not anymore. It’s just us: Clarke and Lexa, not Wanheda and her bodyguard. What I’m trying to say is that the day I heard you and Anya talking about your departure I came to a realization.”

_Just say it Griff. Tell Lexa it was because you fell in love with her. Come on! SAY IT!_

“I realized I fell-”

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

 

“Wanheda?” A man asked from behind the door.

 

///

 

“Are you serious? So much for planning and no one being around!” Clarke pouted and turned to look at Lexa. “Don’t you dare to go anywhere, we’ll finish this talk.”

Lexa curved the corner of her lip. “I’ll stay right here, Ms. Griffin.”

 

“Ugh, yeah?” Clarke shouted annoyed and walked towards the door.

A man wearing the staff black tee uniform stepped inside the break room; the black cap was covering his face.

“Look, I know Anya might be looking for me, but can you please wait outside a couple of minutes, sir?” Clarke said not giving much thought to the man, but she felt Lexa tense behind her.

“I’m sorry, but time is something I don’t have, little bird.”

“Quint?”

The man removed the cap throwing it to the side to reveal his steel blue eyes locked on her. Then, he pulled from behind a gun and pointed it at her.

“You’ve caused a lot of trouble, Wanheda. Tomorrow in the morning paper it will say how Wanheda suffered and died at the hands of her jealous ex-girlfriend.”

Clarke was shocked, and she felt paralyzed. Sudden flashbacks of what happened with Emerson filled her mind.

 

“You son of a bitch!” Lexa clenched her fists.

“You gave me the perfect opportunity tonight, blondie.  You led me right to the Commander. I wasn’t sure exactly how and when to kill you.  Who wouldn’t believe that the hot-headed bodyguard and former lover killed you out of jealousy after all of the tabloid attention? Easy peasy.  Thanks, blondie.”

“Clarke, move!” Lexa shouted close behind, but she just couldn’t. It was like she was stuck to the floor. Fear running rampant on her mind.

“Goodbye, little bird.”

_BANG!_

All Clarke knew is that she hit the floor as Lexa shoved her hard, jumping in front of her using her body as shield, sending one of her deadly daggers flying through the air as she moved over Clarke.

Clarke saw everything happen in slow motion.

“Ugh!” Lexa groaned.

 

Clarke’s ears were ringing, and her body felt too heavy. She couldn’t breathe. As she opened her eyes, she noticed that Lexa was on top of her, and Quint lay on the floor, the dagger Lexa threw buried deep in his throat.

Outside of the room shouts of her name became louder.

Clarke felt warmth seep into her shirt.

“Lexa?” Clarke managed to look up at the woman on top. “Lexa?”

“Oh God!” Clarke managed to roll Lexa off of her and noticed that the warmth was actually Lexa’s blood.

“LEXA!” Clarke observed the blood coming out from her abdomen. She opened her coat and ripped the bottoms of her now stained white button up to look at the wound. “No no no no. Please Lexa, hang in there!”

“Clarke?” Lexa managed to say, scrunching her face in pain. “You okay? Did he…?”

“No, I’m fine. You saved me.”

 

“CLARKE!” Anya bursted into the room and stopped in her tracks when she saw Quint's body at the entrance of the room. “Motherfucker!”

“Call Jackson! Lexa was shot!” Clarke cried pressing her hands over the weeping wound.

“I’m on it!” Raven said behind Anya and moved out of the way to make the call.

“Please Lexa, stay with me. STAY WITH ME!” Clarke cried.

“Help is on the way, just keep pressing down on her wound.” Anya tried to reassure Clarke as she examined Quint’s pulse. “He’s dead. That scumbag knocked out Penn, and that’s how he got inside, using the lack of security in this area.” Anya moved quickly and kneeled besides her friend and Clarke. “Let me.”

Clarke shook her head.

“Clarke, let me do this. You’re too shaken. Lexa needs firm pressure or else she’s gonna bleed out.”

Clarke relented and let Anya take her place. She scooted to the other side taking Lexa’s hand in hers.

 

“Please, Lexa I need you to hang in there.”

“Clarke…” Lexa blinked her eyes open groaning in pain. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not! Lexa. I need you to be okay because I love you!” Clarke sniffed. “I fell in love with you, and that’s why I lashed out when you left.” Clarke couldn’t stop the tears, but she didn't care. She was going to pour her heart out. “I wanted to tell you that day. To confess my feelings to you, but you were leaving and broke my heart.”

“I’m sorry…”

“All I wanted was to fix things between us because my feelings haven't changed. I love you so much, Lexa. Please, don’t go.”

“Don’t be afraid…” Lexa gulped, trying to take deep breaths. “I won’t go anywhere.”

 

Lexa fought to keep her eyes open and eyed her friend who was pressing the wound. “Madi?”

“The kid is with Ryder.” Anya answered offering a comforting smile to her best friend. “You do know this is my client, right?”

“It’s what I-”  Lexa flinched at the deep pain but kept her eyes on Clarke. “It’s what I was born to do.”

“Show off.” Anya rolled her eyes. “Stay put, squid. The paramedics will be here soon.”

“Okay…” Lexa’s eyes shut.

 

“Lexa?” Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand that was limp on her lap. “Lex? Please open your eyes.”

“Her body is resting to heal.” Anya reassured the blonde on the verge of crying her heart out. “A single bullet won’t take her away from us. I mean, that would be stupid when we have your medical team right here, don’t you think?”

 

///

 

Clarke worried all night. When she wasn’t uncomfortably asleep in the waiting room, she was pacing around until she got news that Lexa was out of surgery and alive.

Anya had informed Titus and Becca of the situation and promised to keep them updated. She remained by Clarke’s side while Lincoln dealt with the fallout from Quint’s intrusion and attack.

Marcus managed to keep the attack as private as possible, also using his influence to keep Clarke around and undercover in the hospital. The last thing she needed was a flood of reporters stalking her while Lexa was in danger.

 

“She jumped, as if nothing she just jumped…” Clarke was mumbling as she moved side to side, her arms hugging her body keeping at bay the cold seeping into her bones.

“We’re trained to react like that. It’s ingrained in our muscles. It’s what we do for a living, Ms. Griffin.” Anya shifted her position in her chair, trying to alleviate a bit the stiffness of her spine.

“I don’t like it! What if that bullet hit her somewhere else? What if-” Clarke couldn't say it, not when Lexa was still in surgery.

“We get paid to do that. And you don’t have to like it. Lexa does. She loves being useful. Keeping people safe.”

“At the price of her own life? Do you really have to guard so many high profile clients? Can’t you like guard someone less likely to be a target?” Clarke sat again, taking her spot beside Anya.

“We get sent to whomever the company agrees to protect. I mean, technically a famous rock star was supposed to be an easy job and look at what happened? Dangerous situations can arise at any given moment. As bodyguards we have to be ready to act. That’s all. Lexa can take care of herself, but accidents happen. She’s good, Clarke. You should know by now that she won’t go down easily.”

Clarke sighed, nodding in agreement, because what else she was going to do? She couldn’t force Lexa to leave her job just because.

 

“Hi? Family of Ms. Woods?” A tall bearded man with a white coat approached the waiting pair.

“I’m her best friend and emergency contact. I’m here on behalf of her father who isn’t in the city.” Anya said standing up quickly to meet the surgeon.

The doctor looked at Clarke. “You’re the musician, right?”

“I um, I’m a fri-”

“She’s the girlfriend.” Anya said quickly. “And that’s how we rather keep it here, doctor.”

“Of course, I’m Nyko. the trauma surgeon who worked on Ms. Woods. There was some internal bleeding and partial damage to her liver. We managed to repair the damage right in time thanks to the speedy response of your team. Ms. Woods will be moved from recovery to a private room as requested and ready for you to visit in less than an hour. Just make sure not to disturb her please, she’s asleep.”

“Thanks doctor. We appreciate it.” Anya nodded to the man.

 

///

 

After several minutes waiting or hours, Clarke couldn’t tell a nurse approached them and guided them to Lexa’s room.

Her heart stopped for a second when she saw the brunette deeply asleep. She had on a hospital gown and was slightly pale, but she was breathing and alive. The beep of the heart rate monitor reduced her anxiety by thousands. The room was surrounded by a small table and a couch, there was a TV on the wall and a small dresser, the door to the private bathroom was near the dresser.

 

Clarke walked quietly, pulled a chair near the bed and sat down.

“You’re exhausted, Ms. Griffin.” Anya observed her friend deeply asleep as she moved towards the modest couch. “You should let Raven take you back to your hotel and come back tomorrow morning. Lexa’s gonna be resting for hours.”

“No, I won’t leave her side. I already wasted too much time away from Lexa.” Clarke traced Lexa’s hand softly, careful not to touch the wires and the drip attached to her vein.

“At least go and get change, you have some blood on your dress.” Anya shrugged and grabbed her phone.

Clarke sighed. She knew Anya was right. “Okay, text Raven, but I swear I’ll be back soon. Just let me say goodbye to her.”

Anya texted and stashed the phone inside her suit jacket pocket. “Of course and for what is worth, I think that it was about time you told her how you felt. Kind of the wrong time but better late than never I suppose.”

“You approve?”

“You already know my opinion about the two of you together, but I’ve gotten to know you better these past months. I know how much you’ve missed her. Raven is right, those songs of yours have gotten too sappy. I think that you’re honest about your feelings for her, so I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. Don’t prove me wrong, Clarke.” Anya said seriously.

That was a much as she was going to get in the form of approval from Anya. She was going to take what she could.

“I won’t.” Clarke promised.

 

“Lexa loves too deeply.” Anya said after some quiet minutes, looking with concern at the brunette sleeping peacefully. “She protects the people she cares about fiercely, and she defended you until the end, even against me. You’re important for her so I’ll respect that.”

 

“And I love her just as much. I know it took me some time to understand my feelings for her, but I want this to work between us. I promise I’ll do my best. I just wished I could have realized my feelings earlier. Maybe things would have been different.”

“Maybe, but love is such a weird thing. It just happens when you least expect it…”

Clarke perked her brow at Anya. “Talking from experience?”

Anya rolled her eyes, clearly avoiding her question and checked the phone again. “Raven is right outside. She’ll escort you through the back door to keep your presence as discreet as possible.”

 

Clarke nodded before returning her attention to the sleeping Lexa on the bed. She leaned in and left a kiss on her forehead whilst removing a brown lock away from her face.

“Love is strength.” Clarke whispered lowly, talking to Lexa in her sleep and hoping the words reached her. “You’re my strength Lexa. All these months apart made me see what I lost. I hope you can give me a chance to be your strength too, if you’ll let me. For now rest. I’ll be waiting for you to come back, my bodyguard of lies.”

 

With one last glance to the brave woman on the bed, she left to return temporarily to her hotel and hoped deep inside that this was an opportunity to close old wounds and have a second chance with the woman she fell madly in love with midtour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they are reunited again, in a dramatic way of course otherwise it wouldn't be Clexa loool. Thanks for your patience, we are almost done here.
> 
> Tana
> 
> PS. The U2 cover of Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss me, Kill Me is by Red Queen which gave me a Wanheda vibe.


	24. Chapter 24

Her body felt like dead weight. Breathing was slightly painful, and her abdominal region was numb, but she felt a weird sensation. She groaned and slowly opened her eyes. She was slightly disoriented when she tried to look around and closed her eyes again. For some reason she was too sleepy, the kind of sleepiness that makes you want to stay in bed forever.

 

“Easy, squid.”

 

Lexa heard Anya, but was exhausted, as if she had run a marathon recently, and couldn’t quite open her eyes again. Her stomach hurt if she moved too much - it was like she was cut open.

“An-” Lexa tried but her voice was hoarse.

“Easy, you were just in surgery.”

_Oh, that explains it._

 

Anya gently took her hand and rubbed her cheek. “Go back to sleep, squid. You’re going to make it fine.”

Lexa nodded, eyes still closed, and went back to dreamland.

 

///

 

The next time she opened her eyes the room was invaded by a nurse making her round at what must have been an ungodly hour judging by the room’s almost complete darkness.  The only exception was the soft light illuminating her bed.

“Hello Ms. Woods, I’m here to check on you.” The woman greeted and got right to business. She had a small polite smile on her face to ease the patient. She lifted the gown to check on the small incisions covering her abdominal cavity. “Incisions look clean, and the intra-abdominal drain is working fine. Are you feeling any discomfort?”

Lexa tried to speak, but her throat was dry. She had been sleeping and still groggy from the unwelcomed interruption.

“Here.” Anya was quick to appear on the other side of the bed with a small plastic cup and a straw. Her best friend’s dirty blonde hair was slightly disheveled from sleeping on the chair at the side of her bed.  Lexa noticed the slight bags under Anya’s eyes too.

“Drink slow.”

She felt the straw and drank from it. The water felt cold as it slid down her throat, but at least it offered some kind of relief.

“It hurts.” Lexa managed to croak.

“Okay, will up the dose a bit of the painkiller. The healing will be smooth thanks to the laparoscopic surgery.  The bullet was lodged in part of your liver so it wasn’t a hard task for Dr. Nyko to remove it laparoscopically. Luckily there was no peritonitis which made the removal less risky.” The nurse informed Anya.

“Thank you.” Anya replied to the woman in white before she left to continue her rounds.

 

After blinking several times, Lexa finally managed to keep her eyes open for more than a minute. She furrowed her brows wondering how she ended up here, when memories came rushing back, and she tried to lift up from the bed.

“Agh fuck!” Lexa contorted in pain.

Anya quickly held her shoulders keeping her on the bed. “Woah, slow down! Easy, Lex!”

“Clarke?” Lexa swallowed trying to keep her throat moistened.

“She’s right there asleep. You saved her from Quint.” Anya jutted her chin behind her in a low tone, practically murmuring.

Lexa’s eyes followed and looking behind Anya she noticed the blonde, deeply asleep on the couch in what looked like an uncomfortable position. Clarke looked so tired, no wonder she didn’t wake up even though there was noise in the room.

 

“She hasn’t moved from here since you arrived last night. Clarke only left to change, but she has been by your side at all times.”

“There’s no-” Lexa tried to tell Anya to send her back to the hotel, but it hurt to even speak at the moment. It was hard to even take a deep breath right now.

“You know how stubborn she is, and she absolutely refused to go back to the hotel.” Anya explained before she sat back down.

Lexa chuckled, flinching in pain. “That she is.”

“You need to keep resting, squid. I’ll be here for you both. Sleep.”

 

Lexa’s eyes closed without her consent, and everything went black.

 

///

 

By the time she managed to wake up again, the room was bathed in sunlight. Golden rays of light filtered through the curtains. She had lost track of time so it was hard for Lexa to pinpoint the time of day or even how many days she had been in the hospital with the staff coming in and out at different intervals. She supposed it could have been already 3 days since she got shot.

Lexa caught the sniffing sound and observed the teary blue eyes of the girl sitting on the chair next to her bed.

 

“Hey kiddo,” Lexa’s voice cracked.

“Lexa!” The girl practically jumped from the chair and carefully embraced the brunette, breaking down in a full sob.

“Shhh, it’s alright. I’m okay. “Don’t cry, Madi.” Lexa rubbed the back of the crying girl trying to offer her some comfort.

Madi wiped the tears streaming down her face with the back of her hand and rested her smaller hands over Lexa’s.

“I was scared that you were hurt! Ryder didn’t want to tell me what happened. I was talking with Octavia, and then everything was chaos with people moving everywhere, and then I heard someone say that you were shot.”

“I’m in one piece as you can see. No more tears, Madi. See? I’m perfectly fine!” Lexa infused her voice with as much perkiness to stop Madi from worrying so much.

The girl sniffed once more and wiped the snot and tears from her face.

“Good. Now missy, shouldn’t you be at school?” Lexa tried to use her more stern voice but being stuck in the bed and tied to all these cables didn’t help her look intimidating.

“I promised Ryder I’d behave if he brought me here to see you.” Madi smiled proudly.

“Of course you did.” Lexa curved her lips seeing the worried girl’s anxiety and worry start to fade. She was such a fantastic kid with a wonderful and giving heart. Lexa decided to change the topic to brighten the girl’s mood.

 

“Did you have fun at the concert?”

That was precisely what she needed to say to make the girl immediately cheer up. How her eyes lighted at the mention of the concert was evidence enough of how huge of an impact the experience had been for the young fan.

“It was fucking unbelievable!”

“Language!”

Madi giggled but nodded. “Sorry, but how can I not be excited!? I met her because of you! I was so nervous, Lexa. You had to see me shaking like a leaf, and then Wanheda came to me and talked as if we were old friends. Her eyes oh my God! And her smile...”

The girl began her rant, Lexa was still slightly drowsy by the amount of antibiotics and painkillers in her blood, but the smile of that girl was enough to make her feel better. It was a little hard to follow her story, but the enthusiasm was palpable in her expression. A dream come true for the girl.

“It was totally worth it!” Madi sighed dreamily. “I am so in love…”

 “That makes two of us.”

 

Madi gasped. “Did you talk to her? Are you two back to girlfriend status?”

Lexa couldn’t stop the laughter which caused her some minor pain but seeing the hope of the girl it was so worth it. “Not girlfriends but friends.”

“That’s great! Now that you’re friends again, Wanheda is gonna come visit you a lot! I bet you can show her your sexy badass new scar, and she’s gonna melt like ice cream under the sun.”

“Mhmm, so that’s how I impress her? I should have known that before throwing myself into a bullet.”

“So wicked! Can I see it?”

 

“Excuse me, Ryder says you need to go, kid. Besides, Lexa needs rest.” Anya interrupted the conversation. She was coming inside the room with a styrofoam cup in her hand. The exhaustion showed at the corner of her eyes. At least she changed her suit by how pristine it looked. Lexa would do anything to get out of this white hospital gown that kept her bum exposed when she had to go to pee.

“Ryder wishes you a speedy recovery, Lex.”

Lexa nodded, then she looked at the younger brunette. “Take care, Madi. Someone else from Trikru will be there with Ryder to watch over you for the rest of your stay in the country. Please be good to them. You’ve been one of my best clients. Thanks for the pep talk too.” Lexa said as the girl leaned again to hug her.

“Yes, I am!” Madi sobbed hugging Lexa tighter. “I’m going to miss you, Lexa. You were a good friend, and thanks for making my dream come true. If you don’t get back with Wanheda soon, I’m going to come back to kick your arse! Get well soon, Lexa.”

“I’ll do my best. Call me if you ever need anything, okay?”

“Okay.” Madi wiped the tears from her face and waved goodbye to the brunette.

 

Lexa swallowed and licked her dry lips to moisture them a bit, gathering her thoughts now that Madi has left with Ryder.

“I’m going to miss that girl. She was really good.”

Anya smirked, “Getting attached to the kid, huh? She seems like a great girl. Lucky you with the nice client. I still can’t forget about that damn ambassador's kid. That little shit was annoying, and I wanted to murder him.”

“Ah, yes I remember that one. That demon’s child has nothing on Madi.” Lexa pulled the blanket closer, feeling tired after the long chat with Madi. “Speaking of annoying clients we’ve had, where’s Clarke?”

“I sent her with Lincoln and Raven back to the hotel. She’s going to shower, eat actual food, and they will bring her back when she’s done.”

 

Clarke had been here along with Anya since Lexa was arrived at the hospital. Whenever she opened her eyes there she was, helping her to go to the restroom and even to shower after she was off the intravenous antibiotics yesterday - it was the ultimate embarrassment for Lexa, but Clarke seemed happy to help rather than let any nurse do it. A throwback to when the roles were reversed, and Lexa helped Clarke bathe when she was utterly wasted.

Lexa had wanted to talk to her, but as of now there was never a moment when they were left alone. If it wasn’t Anya watching them closely, it was Dr. Nyko or the nurse in charge.

“Raven, Octavia and the girls, Monty and basically all the staff has been wondering about your well-being, too.” Anya said, bringing Lexa back to her reality.

“They are good people, and I’m glad Clarke is surrounded by them on tours to support her.”

 

Lexa remained silent for several minutes, thinking about the details of what happened. Things were slightly fuzzy in her mind still, and she hoped Anya could help her clear some things.

“Quint?”

“Dead.” Anya’s response was dry. “We already took care of the initial statements, but I told the police you’d give your statement as soon as you recover fully. Already reported to Indra again.”

“Is Clarke still in danger?”

Anya bit her lip, clearly debating if she should speak about it with Lexa, she took a sip of her hot beverage stalling.

“Anya, I know I don’t work for her team, but I need to know what was that all about.”

Anya shook her head, rubbing her hand over her tired face. “Nia threatened Clarke after she was exposed. That’s why Marcus kept us around.”

“Nia?” Lexa narrowed her eyes. “I sent those documents to Raven. It was me, Anya. I put the bullseye on Clarke.”

“Oh so you and Raven have been talking in private?” Anya mused, her hazel eyes narrowed into slits. Lexa sensed uncertainty from her best friend, which was a weird event.

“We’re friends, An.” Lexa cleared in case there was some misunderstanding.

“Right umm, the thing is Nia apparently wanted revenge. Her reputation as GM of Azgeda took a hit. Nia lost a huge amount of money obviously to settle out of court. Even though Ontari is still doing fairly well, Clarke has remained on top with all her latest releases. That obviously doesn’t settle well with Azgeda Records, because Arkadia is becoming a more trusted music label.”

“She’s got nothing to lose now if that’s the case.” Lexa concluded, fisting the sheets thinking about what would have happened if Nia had succeeded.

 

Anya observed her best friend studying her. “Don’t do anything stupid. I know you, and you’re capable of anything to protect Clarke. Don’t mess with Nia. Let _me_ worry about that.”

“I can separate my personal feelings from duty, Anya. Do not worry about me going on a rampage aimed at Nia Quinn and Azgeda.”

“Lexa, focus on your recovery first. You’re going to be out of commission for at least 2 months, and then you have to get back in shape. The road to recovery is long, and you’re impatient. Keep a cool head!”

Lexa huffed, but deep down she knew Anya made a good point. She couldn’t do anything as long as she was recovering.

 

“Try to sleep more, it’s early morning.” Anya fixed her blankets and moved back to the chair, previously occupied by Madi. “The team will undergo some adjustments, and I’ll keep a close eye on Clarke. I promise, so don’t stress about it anymore.”

“Fine,” Lexa accepted reluctantly and tried to find a more comfortable position to rest. The only thing left for her was to recover and hope to see Clarke soon.

 

///

 

After two more long days, Lexa was ready to break out of the hospital.  She isn’t the type to lay around and do nothing.  Finally, Dr. Nyko told her that she was making great progress and would be discharged ‘soon.’ Of course, ‘soon’ means one thing to Lexa and another to the doctor. For the time being, Lexa spoke with her foster father on the phone to tell him that she was returning home due to her injury soon. Later she gave her statement to the police so that they could conclude their investigation.  Miraculously, the press never caught wind of the attempted murder.  Lexa chuckled to herself.  Nia must have been seething when there was no headline announcing Wanheda’s tragic murder.

 

The rest of her days were relatively peaceful. If it wasn’t for Raven’s lame jokes or the delicious jelly Lincoln bought for dinner, Lexa would have been bored to death. All she had to do was sleep. And sleep was not even a possibility with nurses checking her vitals and blood pressure every couple of hours. The positive side was that she managed to talk to Clarke, but not with the depth that Lexa desired.

 

After a nap, Lexa opened her eyes again. It was probably afternoon by how much sunlight was pouring through the curtains and the sounds outside of the room indicating lots of activity. There was no Anya nor Clarke in the room.  Instead, she found another soulful friend.

 

“Oh, so the betrayer honors me with her presence,” Lexa sassed in a friendly tone.

“It’s good to see you in one piece.” Costia grinned, approaching to the bed and taking Lexa’s hand in hers. “You scared me, girl. How are you feeling?”

“Better and I can’t believe you set me up!” Lexa tried to sound mad, but it was hard when the woman who had become a close friend smiled at her, that beautiful dimple making its appearance on her happy relieved face.

“If I didn’t you wouldn’t have ever talked to her. You were ready to accept it was over between you two. You’re terrible at this, Lexa.”

Lexa rolled her eyes indignant, but Costia was right.

“I know… Thanks Cos.”

“I assume things went smoothly then?”

“Considering how I ended up? I think so, yes.”

 

Costia laughed, making her raven-hair ponytail bounce on her head. “I’m happy to hear that. I’m sorry I played you, but you can’t keep hiding, Lexa. I know you’re afraid of opening up and being vulnerable, but this is how relationships work. Sometimes people get hurt in the process.”

“I know that too but… it’s scary. I’ve been alone for what feels like an eternity. I never imagined someone would want me back. Not with the intensity I feel between me and Clarke. No offense!”

Costia squeezed her hand, removing a lock away from her face. “None taken. What we had was physical release, and I understand why you were guarded at the time. But you telegraph your feelings through your eyes, Lexa. By then I already noticed how much you cared for Clarke, and I think that there’s no need to keep your walls up around her.”

“Clarke is like the stars in the sky - beautiful and so far away. I’m not sure I’m worthy when all I do is worry and hurt her all the time.”

“Last time I interviewed Clarke she was angry that you left her. But underneath her anger, I could feel she still cared for you. If Clarke is ready to deal with what it entails to be with you and move on from that pain and anger, then you shouldn’t be afraid to open up to her again. Stop listening to your head, Lexa. It’s about time you start listening with your heart.”

 

“You’re too good for me, Cos.” Lexa tilted the corner of her lip. “I’m sorry I sucked as a friend too.”

“I meant it when I said I wanted us to be friends, and friends take care of each other. That’s what I did. Aaaand as friends, I wouldn’t mind having the exclusive of umm, Wanheda and her girl getting back together in the hospital, you know?” Costia winked with mischief.

“Slow down, miss TV host. There’s nothing to tell. Clarke and I, we’re uh, friendly. That’s all.”

Costia carefully patted her cheek. “For now, miss bodyguard. Now tell me about this girl Ryder brought backstage. I had a chance to ask her a few questions with Artie, and she’s crushing so hard on Wanheda. It’s kinda cute. I think she may be fierce competition for Clarke’s affections in a few years, if you don’t get your head out of your ass.”

Lexa laughed shaking her head because that would be crazy.

“Right, as if!” Lexa’s laughter died after some seconds.

Now that Lexa thought about it, it really wasn’t that absurd if you fast forward 6 or 7 years. Madi definitely had some game considering she was a sassy, big-mouthed 12 year old right now.

Costia was right. Lexa better get her shit together and unleash her lesbian charm.

 

///

 

Lexa had been chatting with Costia for quite some time. It was refreshing to talk about anything that wasn’t work related. Lexa missed taking time to enjoy people she cared about. She thought it would be a great idea to hang out with Anya more. Even when they had so many responsibilities, maybe they could take a pause from their duties and spend some quality time together.

 

“Oh! Aaah, hey!” Clarke came back inside the room, but upon seeing how close Costia and Lexa were sitting, she slowed her steps. “Sorry I uh, I can come back later.”

Costia shook her head. “Don’t be silly. I was about to leave. Keep an eye on this one, Clarke. See you around.”

Costia waved goodbye, grabbing her purse she left the room.

 

Lexa was alone with Clarke, and suddenly the room felt too small to even breathe.

Clarke was hesitant, sliding her hands into the front pockets of the Polis Warriors red hoodie she was wearing.

_My hoodie!_

It was pretty ridiculous. There was no adrenaline running through their bloodstreams. The danger was over, yet neither one dared to say a word when they were alone. Walking on eggshells wouldn’t take them anywhere. Lexa hated that she did this, that she was the one who caused this distance between them.  She realized that she was the only one that could erase the distance.

“That hoodie looks way better on you.” Lexa said to break the ice trying to sit up a little more. Soon, Clarke was on her side pushing some pillows against her lower back to help her sit straighter.

“Thanks.” Lexa beamed, inhaling as Clarke’s usual perfume wafted into her nose making her skin tingle when the blonde leaned in as she fixed the pillows.

“No problem.”

Clarke offered a shy smile, her cheeks tinting pink as she took a step back realizing how close they were. “I uh, I loved the smell of your jacket. It reminded me of you.”

“You should keep it.”

 

After a short pause, with both not knowing how to continue, the conversation stalled.

“I was hop-”

“Clarke, I-”

Both laughed in unison.

“Gosh, when are we going to do this right?” Clarke wondered out loud. She pulled her left hand out of the front pocket of the hoodie and reached slowly for Lexa’s hand. Her motion was slow, in case Lexa rejected her, but Lexa changed the angle so she could tangle her fingers with Clarke.

Clarke sighed in relief.

“So umm, how are you feeling? Dr. Nyko told Anya you probably would be discharged the day after tomorrow.  They want to run some final tests.”

“Thank God.  That’s good to hear. I’ve spent enough time in this place.” After another pause, “how are you?” Lexa asked.

Clarke lowered her gaze, her beautiful smile disappearing.

 

Lexa covered Clarke’s hand with her free hand, encasing the soft hand in both of hers. “What is it?”

“That bullet was meant for me.” Clarke’s lips trembled, her voice was shaky. “I was covered in your blood, and you were dying in my arms!”

Lexa squeezed her hand offering reassurance, kissing her knuckles sweetly to show Clarke that she was more than okay, she was breathing the same air as hers. “I’m here, Clarke.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I would have done it a thousand times, Clarke. My only concern is for you to always be safe. Don’t be sorry for something that you had nothing to do with.”

“I was so scared, Lexa. I- I should have done something, anything, and when I saw the gun I just… my legs were paralyzed and then he-”

“That is what I do on a daily basis, and your reaction was normal. You have nothing to feel bad about, okay? It’s my role to manage the situation and put your safety first.” Lexa could see the guilt creep in the cerulean, almost grey of her eyes, and Lexa wasn’t going to let Clarke take the blame for Quint’s actions.

 

“Could have been me or Anya. Anyone of the team would have done the same, because this is what we do, Clarke.” Lexa tried to change Clarke’s misperception of what happened. Clarke was innocent in all of this mess, and she hated that once more Clarke took the blame.  
“But you quit so there was no reason for you to take that bullet for me.”

“Clarke, I’d do anything to protect you because you’re um, you’re important to me.” Lexa said vaguely, she really didn’t want to make assumptions regarding where they were standing at the moment. Clarke could have thought she was biting the dust and out of desperation said what she said.

 

“Did you mean what you said while I was dying?” Lexa was slightly nervous, fidgeting a bit on the bed, but she tried to sound cool about it. Her biggest fear was that Clarke hadn’t forgiven her, and that everything was a mistake, that Clarke said it out of pity. “Or was that a thing of the moment because you thought I was really kicking the bucket?”

“Oh God… Lexa that’s not even remotely funny! Let’s not joke about your death.” Clarke flushed, her cheeks were completely red, “and uuh, I- I know I might have gotten ahead of myself and yeah, it was a dire moment, but I swear I meant what I said Lexa.” Clarke gulped down and started to panic. “Look, just because I have romantic feelings for you doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate them. I like being friends wi-”

Lexa moved her hand into the nape of Clarke’s neck and pulled her closer. The bodyguard shut her up by pressing her slightly chapped lips against Clarke’s and oh heavens, this is how the stars crashed on the ground - with an explosion.

Clarke took 5 seconds to react, finally getting out of her stupor and reciprocated the kiss slowly, becoming acquainted with the woman she loved again.

Lexa’s heart was about to rip out of her chest, and she wished at that moment to be anywhere but in a hospital bed wearing a ridiculous hospital gown. She groaned as she flexed her abdomen.

Clarke broke the kiss looking worried. She chewed her lower lip. “You okay?”

Lexa leaned back on the pillows and offered Clarke an easy smile. “Never better.”

“So umm, does that mean you feel the same? I know throwing those three words when you just got shot was the wrong time, but I wanted you to hear me say it because that’s how I feel.”

 

Lexa blushed giggling like a schoolgirl. “I fell in love with you too, Clarke. Have been for quite awhile, actually. You’ve no idea how hard it was watching and loving you from afar, knowing that I could never reach you. I didn’t want to make assumptions about our uh, dalliance.”

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel I was using you, Lexa. What we had was something truly special for me. You see, after my last relationship ended in such turmoil, I was hesitant to commit to anyone again. But then you had to knock on my door wearing that ridiculously sexy suit. You were so irritating at first. I despised you, but little by little you snuck into my heart, Lexa. I couldn’t have stopped this thing we had for more than I always said it was pure physical attraction, underneath I was scared of how strong my feelings were for you.”

Lexa couldn’t stop the smile that covered her face while remembering that very first day they met. “You were in your underwear. I must say. That’s one hell of a first impression.  And trust me, I wasn’t very fond of you at first either, but I was wrong. Probably the first time in my life I have ever been wrong.”

“Hey!” Clarke gasped with fake indignance and punched softly Lexa’s shoulder.

“You drove me nuts at first, but I totally misjudged you. I got to know the person behind the rock star as we spent more time together. You offered me understanding and your sincere friendship. We developed a connection and trust. From there, things started to grow between us, and I developed feelings for you too, Clarke. Of course, that was a conflict of interest with my job...”

“So you left.” Clarke sighed and her expression turned sad, but it passed quickly.

“I had to. I was compromised and any mistake of mine caused by being distracted could have cost you your life. And if there’s something I’ll never gamble with, it is your safety.”

“I get it, Lexa; I do now. I accept I reacted poorly, and we hurt each other back then. But that’s in the past like you said. I won’t let fear dictate my life choices anymore. I want you, Lexa. I think we both deserve a second chance to get to know each other better and to explore these feelings we can acknowledge now that we aren’t bound by duty.”

 

Lexa wanted to say yes right away. To proclaim her love for this incredible woman, but she was a bodyguard, a regular woman with no aspirations of grandeur. She had a modest life, and Clarke deserve better than someone who spent her days protecting others. What if she died protecting a new client? Lexa didn’t want to make Clarke suffer more than she already had.

“Clarke,” Lexa gulped down, her eyes rested on her lap where her hands laid intertwined tightly with Clarke’s, and it was beautiful but terrifying. “I’m just a girl from Polis who wanted to fight for justice and ended up in private security.  My life isn’t mine as long as I’m bound to a contract, you know that. You deserve someone who you won’t worry about all of the time. Not… me.”

Clarke moved into the bed and sat on the edge to be able to cup Lexa’s face gently, making Lexa face her. “You lifted me up when I need it. You reminded me that I was strong. That I could do anything. Never imposed your opinions or tried to change me into someone else. And what you saw in me, I saw in you. Our differences made us stronger, and the imperfections we had formed a deep connection. You being a bodyguard is just one tiny part of who you are, and I want it all, Lexa. All of you!”

 

“Clarke, I’m not worthy of your love. If something happens-”

“Then I’ll be right here with you. Love is strength, Lexa. You’re not weak for feeling it, and it’s not a damn distraction either. Yes, I’ll be worried to death. but like I said, this is part of who you are. If you can deal with my world, then I can assure you I’ll deal with yours.” Clarke smiled, and her eyes were bright and full of hope. Lexa could feel it seeping into her own soul. “You’re the one that makes me smile, and I don’t give a damn if the world approves or not. If you feel the same as I do, then let’s take a leap of faith and trust in our feelings for once, even when I’m scared to fuck this up.”

“I want to be with you too - with your paparazzis, your crazy stans and the madness of being Wanheda. I’m afraid of how much you mean to me already, but as someone said to me once, adults complicate everything so I’ll trust in the simple answer of my heart, that I love you, Clarke.”

“We should absolutely listen to that advice.” Clarke chuckled and leaned in to peck her lips sweetly.

 

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

“Sorry to interrupt,” Marcus peeked inside the room. “Hi Lexa thanks for what you did. Abby and all the staff are more than grateful for your help. I’m sorry to cut this short, but we really have to go soon, Clarke.”

“Five more minutes, and I’ll be there.”

“Anya and Bell will be outside, say your goodbyes quick.” Marcus smiled to Lexa and wished her well before he left them alone again.

 

Clarke closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against Lexa’s. “I wish I had more time to be with you. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Clarke.” Lexa laced her hand in the short wheat colored hair feeling the silkiness, inhaling the scent that was Clarke. “You have to go back to be Wanheda. Just like the girl in the painting, I’m always going to be watching you from the ground. The brightest star has to shine, and you need to leave for your fans.”

Clarke laid carefully over Lexa, her head underneath Lexa’s chin. Her arms snuggled around the brunette, taking her all in - her scent, the warmth of her skin, her voice.

“For my fans…” Clarke nuzzled into Lexa’s neck.

“I understand you have your duty, just like I have mine. We belong to two different worlds yet here we are. Together.”

“ Yup, but I hate that you have to put yourself at risk.”

“Clarke...”

“I know, I know. Just, can you like guard someone less likely to assassination attempts?” Lexa encased Clarke in her arms. Her wound was hurting like a bitch right now, but that wasn’t going to stop her from enjoying Clarke’s presence for a few more minutes. “Perhaps someone like you?”

Clarke chuckled and pressed a kiss to her neck. “Yeah…”

 

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m having an interview in an hour, and then I’m flying immediately back to LA. Murphy wants to make the last arrangements for the new album. Then, I have to fly off to Canada to film the new video too.” Clarke sighed. “Gosh, I won’t see you in for a month, and that’s right before I start to promo the new album during the summer. Also, Arkadia wants to launch the New Year with a worldwide tour. We’ll barely see each other as it is”

Lexa had her days counted with Clarke. Distance was going to be their worst enemy if they let it.

“We spent 5 months apart already, and that didn’t cause me to love you any less, Clarke. We can do this. I’ll call and text you as much as I can. We’ll rekindle this flame.”

“We will and please, be careful.” Clarke removed herself from the bed and pulled off the hoodie, giving it back to Lexa. “Keep it warm for me. I’m coming back for that hoodie. I promise.”

Lexa laughed and kissed Clarke’s hand. “It takes as long it takes.”

“My heart is only yours, Lexa Woods.” Clarke sat down again. Her azure eyes were full of love, and it melted Lexa on the spot.

“And I surrender mine to you. Now go and make your fans happy. I don’t mind sharing you with them as long as you come back to me in one piece.”

Clarke laughed nodding. “You can bet on it.”

They sealed their words with a passionate kiss. A kiss that physically expressed that they gave their hearts freely to one another. That they belonged together because that’s what they chose.

Each other.

 

An exasperated knock on the door was the signal for Clarke to hurry up. Clarke moved reluctantly away from Lexa.

“Clarke! We need to go, the interview can’t be postponed anymore.” Bellamy called through a small gap on the door, clearly stressed by the tight schedule ahead of them.

“I’ll miss you.” Lexa said softly.

“Me too. So fucking much. As long as I breathe, I’ll return to you. Always.” Clarke leaned down and kissed her once more. A kiss to last them for as long Clarke was going to be away. Tongue was an added bonus, and Lexa couldn’t be happier.

“May we meet again.” Clarke whispered before she reluctantly let go.

 

Lexa watched her go, her heart racing, and her soul was finally at peace. It was like suddenly everything was right in the world.

It was time to close the open wounds they had left on each other and begin healing together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are almost done here, I hope you have enjoyed the ride so far. Conclusion coming up soon!
> 
> Also I want to wish a happy birthday to my awesome beta and friend cos-geek-monkey if it wasn't for her help this and many other of my fics would be truly messy. This is her effort as much as mine so we both are very thankful for your patience and support friends!
> 
> See you for the finale!
> 
> Tana


	25. Part I

The crowd was chanting her name. The stadium was full from top to bottom, and the energy was incredible.

The spotlight was following her as she sang and played her guitar around the extended stage. Sweat covered her body, she felt every drop running down her back and cleavage, but that didn't stop her from playing and singing with everything she had, as she poured all her gratitude and love to the audience that came to watch her live on this lovely night in Bogotá, Colombia.

As the band was ending the show, Clarke ran back to the center stage and fell on her knees, playing harder and faster to hold the last note whilst Octavia played the drums and closed with one last hit.

 

The audience went crazy, shouting and clapping. The lights dimmed, and fireworks shot off as the concert ended.

Her bandmates left the stage, the lights returned to full strength, and Clarke remained by herself to bid farewell to her audience.

“What a fun night!” Clarke said into the mic. “It’s been incredible, traveling all around the world to meet my fans has been so rewarding. It’s been already 4 months since I began my _Maybe Someday Tour_ to promote my last album.  I can’t believe that you have kept it on the top 10 charts since its debut last July. Thank you for requesting my songs on the radio and for loving every single that I have released so far. I’m here because you have been supporting _Like An Open Wound_ by buying it and talking about it on social media. I’m very humbled, and I hope we may meet again. MUCHAS GRACIAS!!!” Clarke waved and jogged backstage.

 

Raven came to pick up her guitar and stash it away. Her leg mobility had improved with the help of physical therapy, and her gait was barely noticeable. Clarke was proud of Raven for her strength, and she wished she could cheer her up. Her mood had been pretty sour, but she couldn’t blame her. Raven was going through the same hell that she experienced when Lexa left.

Clarke handed her friend the Fender and waited for her security team to escort her back to her dressing room.

“Wanna hang out later, Rae? Small talk with some beers?” Clarke offered to her friend, knowing how sad she had been since Anya departed. Anya used the same excuse as Lexa  - due to ‘a conflict of interest.’”

Right before they began the worldwide tour at the beginning of the new year, Ryder came in to replace Anya. Lincoln had quit Trikru after the first contract with Wanheda expired, and opened a gym in the city of Polis. Octavia was now a frequent client when they weren’t travelling. It seemed that the original security trio of Trikru ended up personally entangled with her staff and herself in addition to the professional relationships.

“I’ll pass. Gotta finish packing before we move the equipment to Sao Paulo.”

“Reyes, I miss chatting with you. You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I know Griff, but I rather focus in work. Good gig, tonight!” Raven waved and moved on to put the equipment away.

 

Ryder stepped behind her with his imposing figure and tilted his chin to let her know she could continue towards the SUV waiting for her.

 

///

 

The ride has been a little intense with some fans that waited at the exit gate. Ryder had no issues opening a path for her; still, Clarke signed some autographs and took pictures quickly before she was taken back to her hotel.

Marcus gave her instructions to make sure she was aware of the schedule changes and timetables for her flight to Brazil before leaving her alone.

“Anything you’ll need, Ms. Griffin?” Ryder asked Clarke as he escorted her through the lobby of a packed hotel. Fans waited and shouted as soon as she made her appearance, but Ryder took her swiftly to the lifts. Clearly no one would want to step in the path of that mammoth of a man.

“No, I’ll stay in my room, Ryder. You may go rest. Thanks.” She told the bodyguard.

He nodded and as they reached her suite, he made the usual protocol checks and left her to her own devices after wishing her a good night.

 

She was exhausted and wanted to go straight to bed, nonetheless, Clarke went for the mini fridge first.  She grabbed and uncapped a water bottle and took a greedy sip before flopping on the big couch at the center of her room. She found her backpack on the coffee table and found her cellphone stashed along her moleskin. She activated the screen and smiled at the message waiting for her.

_Lexa (10:38pm): I hope the concert was great. I’ll probably be omw to work when you read this but know that I miss you very much. Counting the days to see you again, my love._

Clarke quickly typed a response so Lexa could read it as soon as she was free.

_Clarke (12:01am): Babe, it was amazing! I miss you 100x more. Just 2 weeks and I’ll be yours for a long time. Love you, Lex._

 

Clarke left her things in the bedroom and took a quick shower, removing the grime and sweat from the concert. Now that the adrenaline was fading, Clarke sighed relieved as the hot water eased her back muscles and legs from running and jumping around the stage. She hummed, falling into a relaxed state, and her lips curved involuntarily thinking about her Lexa. She was tired but never too tired to rub a quick one, whispering Lexa’s name. She missed her so damn much, but soon they were going to be together after being apart for months.

 

Once she got finished her shower, she changed into a baggy shirt, sweatpants and pulled out her favorite hoodie; well, Lexa’s Polis Warrior hoodie. Lexa gave it to her when they reunited.

 

Clarke turned off the bedroom lights and sat on the king bed inhaling the scent of Lexa that was miraculously on the red jacket. She placed it on her lap and turned the night lamp on. Next, she grabbed her phone from her bag and smiled seeing her background pic of her and Lexa. After smiling like a fool for some seconds, she unlocked and opened her photo app.

Whenever she felt hard the absence of Lexa, she always reviewed the pictures she had of them. Lexa and Anya were dispatched to some big politician and were currently in Moscow. The worldwide tour and Lexa’s work commitments resulted in a huge time difference,  reducing the availability to do FaceTime. Even after the ups and downs, they were going strong after 6 months of being official.

 

The first picture was of her and Lexa in a small pizza parlor where she took Lexa for their first date. The kind old waitress of the restaurant who knew Lexa since she was a child took the picture for them.

Clarke had returned home one week earlier than scheduled after shooting her latest video in Canada and surprised Lexa in Polis while she was still recovering from her surgery.

 

Clarke swiped to the next picture - a selfie taken by Lexa. It was a funny one with Clarke almost falling from the horse saddle and holding into Lexa for dear life. That had been their second date, some weeks after meeting again in Polis. Lexa took her to a picnic in the beautiful woods to ride horses holding hands and sharing kisses under the trees.

They had agreed to take some steps back, considering how it all began on the _Infinity_ _Tour,_ hoping that by slowing down the pace of their growing relationship, they were going to get to properly know each other with no barriers between them as client and protector, but as Clarke and Lexa.

 

Sadly, Clarke had to go on a summer tour travelling around the US to promote the release of her 4th studio album ‘Like An Open Wound’ when it was finally released.  She didn’t see Lexa again until late November.

That’s when she asked Lexa to spend the Thanksgiving weekend in LA with her at the beach house.

Their third date had been a wonderful walk on the beach and an exquisite dinner in the backyard of her vacation home. Even with the dark, bloody memories left, she was creating beautiful new memories with Lexa. It was going incredibly well, but Clarke’s thirst was too much to contain anymore, and she jumped Lexa’s bones on that magnificent starry night.

And just like their very first time it had been amazing - mapping familiar skin, the enticing sounds that Lexa made as her lips explored and tasted the brunette, tracing the edges and irregular shapes of the scars of the sun-kissed skin of her green-eyed lover, cherishing Lexa with love and devotion. Lexa gave back with the same passion and care that she always showed her. Her kisses and touches were so reverent that Clarke wanted nothing but to be in the warmth and love that Lexa provided. That night they cemented their connection, and they knew this was meant to last.

It was a magical night for them both. A night where Lexa officially asked Clarke to be her girlfriend.

 

However, their duties always kept them apart, with Lexa already back in the field, and Clarke giving interviews in between photoshoots. It was hard to maintain that intense of a connection at a distance.

They reunited again during the Christmas holidays. Clarke smile widened looking at the pictures her mother took of them back then. Yes, even Titus joined the Griffin women for their holiday festivities in DC. It was weird, but at least Titus was less passive aggressive with her.

When the New Year began, Clarke started her world tour, and Lexa returned to her appointed client. They made sacrifices to maintain their connection, sometimes Skyping at odd hours due to the time difference. Neither one was going to give up the relationship, even though distance and time were always against them.

 

So far, Clarke had been careful keeping a low profile when back home to avoid spiking the papz interest. It was a miracle that her relationship with the bodyguard was still a well kept secret.  Clearly her close friends and family knew about it, but that was the extent of it.

One of the things that scared Clarke the most was how they were going to manage not if, but when the press found about it. She knew that sooner or later someone was going to recognize or spot her, and then her relationship could possibly end.

Lexa assured that the exposure wouldn’t trouble her, but Clarke knew how some reporters could be and was afraid Lexa would tire of the harassment and leave.

 

Clarke kissed her background screen before she shut down her phone and pulled the blankets around her body. She had to trust in Lexa’s feelings that no one could break them apart. Clarke turned the lamp off and put the hoodie on Lexa’s side of the bed (yes, Lexa already had a side on the bed) and closed her eyes, inhaling that sweet vanilla and coffee aroma that now meant  belonging. Of home.

The nightmares that tended to haunt Clarke were much less frequent. Still, from time to time, she had dreams of death. It was always Lexa, dying in her arms. Of course, she had been terrified the last time Lexa jumped in to save her. Luckily, the lingering scent of Lexa on the jacket served as a reminder that she was alive and well.

 

///

 

Four months and 37 cities later Clarke was landing back in DC. She was beyond exhausted, but the tour had been a success, and everyone was relieved that they were returning back to their respective homes.

Every venue had been sold out way before Wanheda even began touring. Heck, Marcus had to add a couple of extra dates due to the high demand in Great Britain and Brazil.

Arkadia was satisfied with the sale of her 4th album. All her singles had reached the daily top ten in several radio stations and also earned some Billboard Awards nominations including Album of the Year.  The label had high hopes that she was going to earn some Grammy nods too.

All in all her career was skyrocketing and mostly, all the tabloids and news didn’t have material to create negative buzz. But to Clarke none of that mattered.

What she was concerned about was seeing Lexa again. Several days had past since the last text from Lexa. For some reason Lexa had been quieter than normal, and she couldn’t help but worry. The image of Lexa being shot replayed in her mind over and over again.

It was possible she was slightly paranoid. Lexa had been working really hard and could be busy with the client she was meant to protect. Still that didn’t stop Clarke from having some concerns.

 

“Oh my God!” Raven pulled Clarke from her inner thoughts. “Clarke! Look at this!”

“What’s up?” Clarke reached for Raven’s tablet. She read the headline of the latest news and looked again at her friend. “Is this real?”

Raven got her tablet again and performed another search. “Yup, I’ve seen several reports already. Azgeda Records has dissolved. Nia is out of business permanently. By the looks of it, she won’t be in the music business again nor her son Roan. She lost all of her money and then some in the trials.

“Karma's a bitch! I know it sucks, but I’m not sad at all. That woman deserved every bit of what happened to her.”

Raven nodded in agreement. “Yeah, now you can finally rest. You won’t see her or Roan again.” Raven stretched her arms and lastly, squeezed her thigh. “I need a bath and a fucking massage, my leg is killing me. Can’t wait to land.”

 

After about 4 more hours, her private plane finally landed at the airport, and she couldn’t be more excited.

She followed Raven down the steps to pick up her bags with Ryder shadowing her as always.

“We’re heading right to my condo, Ryder. Marcus made sure to keep this out of the news so there shouldn’t be any press outside.” Clarke said to the bodyguard.

“Can’t believe it’s finally over. It’s been pretty crazy.” Raven grabbed her bags, and Ryder took Clarke’s and continued walking towards the exit of the airport.

“I already talked with Marcus. I’m done with touring and high level of promotion. I wanna keep a low profile, might as well do some interviews and photoshoots, but nothing that will take significant time away from my friends and family.”

“Good for you. You deserve the rest.” Raven smiled.

“I’ll get the SUV.” Ryder informed. “Please remain in this area until I come back for you. I’d rather not assume there aren’t papz outside.”

Clarke nodded and moved to one of the chairs in the lobby of the waiting area, it was mostly empty with a businessman here and there consumed by their laptops.

 

“Wells suggested we could hang out and watch a movie or something this weekend.” Raven scrolled down her messages, typing quickly a response to someone.

“O landed in Polis an hour ago and is going to be staying with Linc, but says she’s up for anything if you wanna do something.”

“She’s so whipped!” Clarke smiled thinking how whipped she was herself by a certain brunette with emerald eyes.

“Yup, just like you.” Raven winked. “I’ll arrange everything so you make sure to rest. It’s kinda strange being back to have a regular life, huh?”

 

“It is, and I missed it.” She checked her messages and texted Lexa.

_Clarke (1:29 pm): Bb I’m back on DC. Text me when you see this pls._

Clarke sighed slowly, shoulders slumping disappointed that she hadn’t heard anything from Lexa. She’s supposed to be in Moscow and finish her job in another couple of weeks as far as Lexa shared with her.

“Chill, Griff. Your girl will be in touch as soon as she can.” Raven rested her hand on her arm, giving it a squeeze to ease her fears.

“I know, Rae. Lexa never has been this quiet though.”

“You know how that job is.”

“Yeah, I know…”

Clarke took a deep breath. She truly hated Lexa’s job considering that she was always working with important people, who were huge targets most of the time. It wasn't all a bed of roses. They had some fights regarding Lexa’s job, but it was a concern that came from a place of fear. Clarke knew first hand how dangerous it was, and that Lexa was going to do her job, even putting her life at risk. Clarke just couldn’t deal with that aspect yet.

“We’re home, so try not to get broody. Lexa loves you, and she’ll come back to you in one piece.”

“I hope so.

Ryder finally arrived to escort her to the SUV, distracting Clarke just enough to pull her mind out of that dark place where Lexa always dies.

 

It didn’t take long for some people to recognize her, considering she was wearing a baseball cap, but the biggest giveaway that someone important was around was the huge bodyguard behind her. No way she would ever be able to hide Ryder.

She didn’t want to be rude, but right now she simply wanted to go home. So Clarke headed straight to the car ignoring the fans who called her stage name.

Ryder kept closer which was enough to keep anyone at bay, so that was a plus.

He opened the car for her and Raven, and then the man slid into the driver’s seat, placed the car in gear, and headed to her apartment.

 

///

 

The drive wasn’t that long, but traffic was a pain in the ass at this time of day. However, a flood of relief filled Clarke when she stepped back in the lobby of her apartment. She was truly home.

“Welcome back, Ms. Griffin!” The security man greeted her, as usual handing her the recent mail.

“Hey, Mr. Shumway. It’s so good to see you.” Clarke accepted the envelopes, smiling at the man. “Anything new?”

“Not really.” He smiled. “Happy to see you had a wonderful tour.” The security officer walked behind the counter again after calling the lift.

“Thanks.” Clarke waved and hopped into the elevator with Raven and Ryder.

 

The elevator dinged on her floor, and Ryder left her luggage at the door. “Ms. Griffin, it was a pleasure working for you. I wish you all the best, and Trikru Security will be always at your service.”

“Thanks Ryder, Trikru Security keeps delivering every time.”

“Take care.” With a nod the gruff man returned to the lift disappearing from sight.

Clarke pushed her key into the lock, opening the door wide to let Raven enter. Clarke followed right behind pulling her luggage with her.

“How about we order pizza?” Clarke asked Raven.

 

“I’d love that, my love.”

Clarke lifted her gaze because that clearly was not Raven. She looked toward her living room, and there she was.

Her Lexa.

“OH MY GOD!” Clarke dropped her bag and ran to greet her girlfriend.  Nothing could make her happier than to be in the presence of the woman she couldn’t live without.

Jumping into Lexa, she almost tackled her to the floor, but Lexa held her firmly in her arms, missing the slight wince on Lexa’s face.

“It’s you!” Clarke pulled back a bit to look at her. Eyeing her from head to toe, because it felt surreal.

“I’m here.”

“But- but you were in Moscow!”

Lexa curved her lips in her very subtle way, her hands holding Clarke still. “I was, but we finished early, and I wanted to surprise you.”

Clarke laughed and kissed Lexa, peppering kisses all over her face.

“What a surprise indeed!”

 

“Yup, thanks Reyes. You’re the best friend ever!” Raven said from behind the kitchen counter once she dropped all the bags in Clarke’s bedroom.

“You knew!” Clarke gasped.

Raven shrugged stashing some bottles of water into the fridge after turning it on. “If the girlfriend of my best friend asks me for a favor, I probably should listen, don’t you think?”

Clarke nested her head in the crook of Lexa’s neck, inhaling her scent - vanilla and coffee. She was truly back home.

 

“Or else I’d be crazy with how much Lexa talked about missing you.” Anya popped out from behind Lexa.

Clarke didn’t notice the taller woman was even in the room. She was solely focused on Lexa being back.

“Hey Anya! Glad to see you back.” Clarke greeted. She observed the slight purplish bruise on the side of her jaw. She wondered how bad things were in Moscow if they were already here. For now, all she cared about was that Lexa was safe and in her arms.

Anya moved towards the exit and eyed Raven in the kitchen. “It’s good to see you too, Raven.”

“Yeah.” Raven answered flatly.

Anya pursed her lips. “These two will take forever so would you like to join me for food and drinks? On me.”

“No thanks. I’ll be with Wells then I’ll go home. Need to rest my leg. See you around, Griffin. Welcome home, Lexa!”

“Take care Reyes!” Clarke smiled at her friend.

 

Raven was the first to walk out of the apartment. Clarke felt a bit sad for Anya. Raven was being an asshole to Anya much the same way Clarke once treated Lexa.

“Give her time. She really missed you.”

Anya nodded. “I suppose you’ll stay here, Lex?”

“Yes, unless I’m inconveniencing you, Clarke.” Lexa asked tilting her head and scrunching her brows.

“Never! I have wonderful plans now that you’re back.” She wiggled her brows at Lexa, and Anya gagged.

“That’s my signal to get the hell out of here. I’ll be back at the hotel sending our last briefing to Becca. Don’t worry and take it easy, Lex. Call the doc if you need him. Bye ladies!” Anya shut the door behind her, and that was Clarke’s cue to quickly pull Lexa towards her and devoured her in a deep passionate kiss.

 

Clarke suddenly realized what Anya had said and frowned, stepping back to look at Lexa.

“Lexa, what did Anya mean by call the doc?”

“It’s nothing to worry about, Clarke.” Lexa cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her, but Clarke pushed her back by the shoulders.

“Leeexaaa!?” Clarke was now very serious. She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Okay, okay. Don’t get mad, my love. I swear I’m fine.” Lexa took a step back, but Clarke noticed a slight limp when she did. Lexa sat down slowly, and Clarke saw the cane on the side of the couch.

“Oh God, Lexa? Is that yours? Babe, what happened?” She sat besides Lexa taking her hand in hers.

“Some mobsters were hired to take out my client. One of the fuckers hit my knee with a pipe in the middle of a fight and fucked it up a bit. The client finished his business and returned earlier due to the attempt on his life.”

“Jesus, Lexa. And you didn’t plan on telling me anything!?”

“Clarke, you were touring. I didn’t want you to worry over nothing.”  
“Nothing?” Clarke shook her head gaping at Lexa. “Lexa, you’re my priority! I love my job, but I love you more so please don’t hide things like this from me! I love you Lexa, and your safety is the most important thing to me.”

Lexa smiled hearing Clarke’s fierce protectiveness and love in her words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to distract you from your work, that’s all.”

Clarke traced Lexa’s jaw tenderly and then cupped her cheek, happy to feel her warmth and softness. “You’ll never be a distraction to me. Now be honest. Are you really okay?”

“It hurts a lot sometimes and my balance is shit, but I should be better with time.” Lexa shrugged and leaned her head onto Clarke’s open palm. “I’m here now.”

“Yes you are.” Clarke closed the distance and kissed Lexa’s lips again, more softly this time. When she pulled away with a sigh, Clarke felt high. Kissing Lexa was like a drug, and she loved every effect of it.

 

“I’m done with tours. I discussed with Marcus some, but not the full details of my career pause. I do want to take it easy and finally spend time with you.”

“Hmm, yeah?”

“Yup. I missed you immensely.”

“I missed you way more!” Lexa grinned making Clarke giggle.

“I missed you infinity times more so I win!” Clarke pouted, but Lexa erased it with butterfly kisses all over her face until Clarke yawned.

“Stubborn as usual!” Lexa grabbed her cane and stood up. “I think it’s obvious you need rest after the number of late nights you sang for your fans. What about I take you to bed, make you a cup of soothing tea, then we take a nap?”

“I like that plan.” Clarke took Lexa’s offered hand and walked hand in hand with the wonderful brunette into her bedroom.

 

This felt simply perfect, as if they had been doing this for all their life. The distance couldn’t break the bond they had. They were together once again, and Clarke felt stronger than ever, with the support of Lexa at her side she felt she could conquer anything.

But the best feeling in the world was finally be able to hold Lexa in her arms; her nose sinking into the chestnut waves of hair and scenting the sweet aroma from her neck.

Yes, she was without a doubt back home.

 

///

 

“Clarke!” Lexa shouted as she climaxed.

Clarke hummed satisfied licking her lips as she propped her body back on top of Lexa. Kissing her thighs softly as she made her way to her abdomen, making a mandatory stop to kiss the bullet scars before finding rest on Lexa’s chest.

“I love you babe.” Clarke shut her eyes content, listening intently to Lexa’s heartbeat slowly return to normal.

“I… I love you too.” Lexa said breathless. Throwing an arm over her eyes and draping the other one over Clarke as she relaxed.

 

Both their bodies were bathed in sweat, and the smell of sex was dominant in the bedroom. There was gray light sneaking through the drapes covering the window meaning they have been at it for some time.

“Gosh I love morning sex with you, but you leave me drained. How do you expect me to leave your bed when you welcome me like this?” Lexa said after recovering.

Clarke laughed heartily kissing Lexa’s collarbone. “That’s the plan. Keeping you highly distracted so you don’t leave, Commander.”

“Then allow me to show my appreciation for such commitment, my love.” Lexa rolled on top of Clarke and began kissing her slowly, humming at the sensation of tasting herself on Clarke’s lips.

Clarke laced her fingers in the thick chestnut hair of Lexa keeping her still as she slid her tongue into her amazing mouth, moaning at the feeling of those lush lips that were the inspiration for so many songs Clarke had in mind. She would write odes to Lexa’s eyes and hair and body in general. She was completely whipped.

Things were heating again fast when she heard the faint buzz of a cellphone in the background.

 

“Mmm babe…” Clarke frowned wondering who could be calling so damn early in the morning. “That yours?”

“No, my phone is off. Anya assured me that if there was something really important she was going to take care of it.” Lexa began nipping her neck. And Clarke wanted nothing but to let herself be ravaged by Lexa, but the damn phone was driving her insane.

“Shit!” Clarke moved gently away from Lexa, rolling off the bed. “I’m going to turn mine off too, one sec.”

Clarke was having a hard time finding her phone, it was buried somewhere in the clothes thrown haphazardly around her bedroom. They had to catch up for lost time and didn’t waste anytime.

Clarke lifted the garments one by one when finally the phone slid out of her pants, falling on the carpeted floor.

“Marcus? What the fuck?” She stood up and looked over her shoulder seeing Lexa relaxing on the bed, the sheets barely covering her naked chest, and she licked her lips savoring the sight. “One sec, babe. I’ll take this call.”

She moved to her bathroom to avoid bothering Lexa and pressed to answer the call.

 

“Marcus, I thought we agreed to take a break. Why on earth are you calling this early?” Clarke leaned onto the bathroom counter, observing the marks left by Lexa on her neck and collarbones. She smiled seeing the evidence of their love-making session on her body. A reminder that Lexa was really back.

“Sorry Clarke, but we have to meet. It’s extremely important.”

Clarke tilted her head hearing the tone used by Marcus. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No, but umm, we really need to talk Clarke. This is very important to discuss before you hear it from someone else.”

Clarke was very intrigued. What could be so important that Marcus wanted to meet with her as soon as possible?

“Okay, umm where?”

“I’ll be at the Sky Box in one hour so please don’t be late.”

“Alright, geez. I’ll be there.”

 

Clarke returned to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

Lexa quickly caught the change in mood and slid closer holding her from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Clarke? What is it?”

“Yeah, umm, Marcus wants to meet for something important. He was kind of weird so I don’t know what could be going on.”

“Can’t be something bad. Could be he wants to talk about Nia now that Azgeda is out of business. Don’t worry, love. Nia won’t try anything against you, she knows that would going against me.” Lexa kissed her shoulder.

“Lexa, what did you do?”

“Nothing. I visited and had a little chat with her and her son. Nothing that should worry you.”

“Okay so um, wanna join me? We can grab breakfast if we leave right now, and I bet Wells wants to see you too.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.” Lexa pulled Clarke closer.

“Babe, I’m not spending another second away from you. Of course I want you there. You’re part of my life so you’ll never be imposing on anything, baby.”

“Okay, I guess we better shower then if we want to be on time. I don’t want Marcus to get mad at you for being late.”

“Lexa, when have I ever been on time?” Clarke smiled and moved around to cup Lexa and kiss her properly.

“Clarke, for the love of God. I don’t want you to be late because of me.” Lexa returned the kiss nonetheless, because she couldn’t resist her girlfriend.

“Lexa, Marcus can wait. Now where were we…”

 

///

 

Of course Marcus wasn’t very amused when Clarke arrived with Lexa 40 minutes later than their agreed time.

“Really?” Marcus arched his brow, he was sitting at the back of the coffee shop where they could chat in private.

“Marcus, come on. Give me a break! We just arrived from our world tour. I had some catching up to do.” Clarke grinned.

Lexa flushed immediately offering an embarrassed smile to Marcus. “Hello Mr. Kane. Sorry about that.”

“Hey Lexa. Wonderful to see you!” Marcus smiled and greeted the brunette with a polite handshake. “See Clarke? You should be at least remorseful like your girlfriend here.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah. Let us order, and I’ll be here in a moment.”

 

“Well well well, look who’s paying me a visit? Raven told me you were with your muse so I didn’t expect you for another week.” Wells was smiling behind the cashier, looking as good as ever. His brown eyes always full of love and warmth. She missed him so much.

“I missed you too Wells, and I told Raven we could hang out on the weekend.”

“You better and hello Lexa, it’s a pleasure to see you too.” Wells immediately offered his hand to shake Lexa’s.

“Hello Wells, the pleasure is all mine.” Lexa tilted her head slightly lost. “And what do you mean by being Clarke’s muse? I don’t understand.”

“Oh, so Griffin didn’t tell you the story huh?” Wells wiggled his eyebrows.

“Wells come on!” Clarke rolled her eyes at his friend teasing “Don’t mind him, Lexa. Wells is being an idiot.”

“Did you know the first time you came into my shop, Griffin had told me she lost her muse?  Coincidentally you entered right in that moment. It was hilarious back then. But now that I truly see you together, it’s kind of some soulmate shit.”

Lexa perked her brow curving her lip with that smug smile that drove Clarke crazy. “Is that right?”

Clarke bumped Lexa with her shoulder. “Don’t listen to him.” She pulled out her wallet and put a twenty into the tip jar. “Give me the usual and stop telling her those stories Wells. Lexa doesn’t need the extra confidence! I have enough with my mom already.”

“I’ll pay, now go with Marcus while I order.” Lexa leaned in and pecked her quickly on the lips.

“Okay babe, I love you and you,” she pointed at Wells, “can suck my ass.”

Wells cackled in laughter shouting to Clarke. “Yup, hot women in black. Raven wasn’t wrong!”

Clarke flipped the middle finger to her longtime friend and sat with Marcus.

 

“So? Why are you here Marcus? If I remember correctly you assured me that Arkadia was satisfied with my work, and that I was going to be off this year.”

Marcus ran his fingers through his greyish brown hair. “Clarke, I want you to listen me carefully. Things have changed.”

“Changed how? I said I wanted to take a-”

Marcus raised his hand. “Clarke, just listen and stop talking.”

Clarke sighed and nodded waiting for Marcus to tell her what was happening.

“You heard that Azgeda Records is out of business, right?”

“Yeah, I read the news.”

“That means that their artists were free to make new contracts.”

Clarke shrugged. “So? What do I have to do with this?”

“Ontari signed with Arkadia Music Group, and the label is planning a new launch to kickstart her year with the label on a tour with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see, readers!  
> My utmost apologies for taking this long. Life has been hectic for me and my beta so this has been very slow. In order to provide some content after some time, we decided it was best to split the final chapter in half. Hopefully, the last part won't take as long to be edited but we hope at least this is enough to keep you on your seats a bit longer.  
> Thanks for your patience and see you for the resolution in part II.
> 
> Tana


	26. Part II

Clarke blinked several times because she wasn’t processing anything. She sat straighter on the chair and opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

Lexa arrived with Clarke’s mochaccino and bagel with cream cheese a minute later sitting across from Clarke observing her sudden pale face with concern.

“Wha- I don’t- I- I…”

“Clarke?” Lexa grabbed her hand becoming anxious at Clarke’s lack of responsiveness. “What is it?”

“No…” She shook her head. “Marcus, you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Marcus let out a long sigh. “I wish, but I’m serious. She’s now part of the label, and like I said they want you to go on tour with her this summer to promote the label and show a united front for the press.”

“Fuck no!” Clarke stood up hitting the table, rattling the cutlery and dishes on it. “NO!”

 

“Clarke, calm down.” Lexa stood up and rested her hand on her tense shoulders, soothingly rubbing her back. “Let’s sit back down and listen what your manager has to say, okay?”

Listening to Lexa’s voice of reason, she sat before she created a scandal in the middle of the Sky Box. Wells didn’t need that kind of media attention to his coffee shop.

“What exactly is the situation, Mr. Kane?” Lexa asked.

“Ontari is now part of Arkadia. She signed yesterday, and the label wants them to go on tour together.”

“Oh.”

Clarke caught the disappointment in Lexa’s voice.

“Ontari wasn’t nice, not even civil, to Clarke, ever. Why would Arkadia propose sending them out together for a tour?  Aren’t they afraid of the bad blood causing negative press?” Lexa asked Marcus.

“The label wants to use their popularity to establish itself as the top label in the country, and what better way to do that than to send two of the world’s hottest music stars on tour?”

 

“Kane, fuck this shit! Ontari can choke for all I care. I don’t want to go on tour with that bitch!” Clarke was angry, her hands balled into fists. “I want to spend my time with my girlfriend. I told you I was off!”

“I know, and I’m sorry Clarke. The label plans to send a press release announcing that Ontari has joined the Arkadia family later today. Arkadia wants you two to start working together next month in preparation for the summer tour.”

“WHAT!?”

“Clarke, the label still has you under contract. Ontari needs to rebuild her image and distance herself from Nia. You’ve come a long way so please, I beg you, don’t destroy your hard work over this. Meet and talk with her. I wanted to be the first to tell you, because I know this isn’t what you wanted, but Arkadia execs have been clear with me. I’m travelling this afternoon to meet with Ontari, and I’ll call you once I know her demands. Marcus stood up and left a kiss on Clarke’s head. “Enjoy your time girls and think this through, Clarke.”

 

“I can’t believe this…”

Lexa brought Clarke into her arms, holding her tightly. “Don’t worry, Clarke. I know this isn’t ideal, but we have done well so far, don’t you think?”

“I just got you back, Lexa! Now I’ll be gone again all summer with that fucking bitch, who I despise, while you’re in Polis or anywhere in the world. I hate this!”

“This uh, doesn’t mean we have to be apart, Clarke. We have some time left so who’s to say you can’t be with me?”

Clarke lifted her face from Lexa’s shoulder to look at the brunette. “I don’t- What are you saying?”

Lexa took a deep shaky breath. “Move in with me, Clarke. I ah, I know this is soon, but I’ve been thinking about it for some time. I- I was planning to ask you later on after the Billboards, but I have to speed things up if you’re going on tour again. I know you’ve been living here all your life, but Polis isn’t that far. You can come and visit your mom, Wells and Rav-”

 

Clarke wouldn’t let her go on, because she was kissing her deeply, not caring if any patron saw them. Also, Wells was keeping a good eye out as usual keeping his friend safe between these walls.

“Baby, you don’t have to try to convince me. My heart has been yours since we started this thing. You’re home to me, and if it’s Polis, DC or LA I don’t care as long as we’re together.”  
Lexa was beaming, her smile from ear to ear. “I made the downpayment already. Lincoln helped me while I was away so I really hope you like it.”

“Babe, I promise you that I love it, stop worrying so much. Thank you for always making me smile when I feel like crap.”

Lexa lifted her chin up. “Thank you, Clarke, and don't ever feel you have to deal with your problems alone. We’re a couple, and I’m here for you as well. Good days and bad days, it doesn’t matter as long as you’re with me. I love you.”

“I love you too, Lexa.”

 

“Whoops!” Wells approached their table. “Sorry to interrupt ladies, but I can see some papz outside. They must have seen Kane arriving earlier. Of course that lead them to you.”

Clarke peeked through the blinds covering the coffee shop windows and saw that in fact, there were a couple of those vultures with cameras at the ready.

She sighed and returned to Lexa’s side.

“I can sneak out through the back door, Clarke. No need to stress.” Lexa stated with such a sweet smile on her face that Clarke melted on the spot.

Lexa was ever so patient and supportive, and the last thing she wanted was to hide the woman she loved.

“No way. Lexa, you’re my girl. I want to hold your hand in public and just live my life with you. I don’t care about them. I mean, they have been pretty clueless since we started dating last year, but it won’t last. I’m not scared of the headlines and gossip.  But if you rather keep your anonymity, I’ll respect that.”

Lexa took Clarke’s hands in hers. “Thank you, but I’m ready to face them.”

Clarke leaned in and gave the beautiful brunette a quick peck.

“Okay, but I’m not going to let them take this from me. From us.” She took a step back and looked at her friend. “Wells, can you do me a quick favor? Can you take a picture with us with the beautiful art you have as background?”

“Yeah, sure.” Wells took her cellphone and got himself in position.

 

Clarke pulled Lexa to stand in front of one of the walls with the metallic decor and vibrant colors and cupped Lexa’s face.

“I’m not going to let them have an exclusive. We’re doing this on our terms. I love you, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled and kissed her forehead, holding her tightly, and Clarke had never felt so safe.

“I love you too.”

“Well, you can’t fake this shit. Now I get Raven. Smile!” Wells waited for them to pose and snapped some pictures before returning the cellphone.

“We look adorable, huh?” Clarke showed Lexa their pictures, and it was indeed crystal clear that there was romantic feelings involved. No more gal pal bullshit. Lexa held Clarke from behind resting her chin on her shoulder whilst Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheek.

Clarke thanked Wells and opened her official Instagram account: “Finally home and reunited with my #bodyguardoflies #6monthsinlove.” Clarke showed the comment to Lexa, ”is this okay?”

“Perfect. Now let’s get you back to your apartment, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa winked extending her hand for Clarke to take it.

“Here goes nothing!” Clarke pressed to post and shoved her phone back into her pocket before taking Lexa’s offered hand.

“See you, Wells!”

 

The couple walked out into the sudden streams of cameras before Lexa escorted Clarke safely back into their car.

 

///

 

To say that the first post of Wanheda with Lexa didn’t cause mayhem online would be a lie. As soon as Clarke posted her picture, the post became a trending topic. Everyone was  excited to see that the bodyguard of lies was back with Wanheda. It also was a surprise that they had been together 6 months, and that nobody had a clue until the artist posted about it. Well, every fan except Madi who was the happiest little fan ever when Lexa confirmed to her in one of their email exchanges that she was Clarke’s girlfriend.

 

During the BMAs, Clarke made sure to go with Lexa as her plus one to make their first official appearance as a couple. Wanheda answered questions about her music and stated in no uncertain terms that she wouldn’t be discussing her private life. She simply stated that she was more than happy with Lexa.

 

After that, Clarke and Lexa moved together to Polis. Abby, Marcus, Raven, Anya, Lincoln and all of Clarke’s bandmates had been at the housewarming.

Their new home was the penthouse of one of the few buildings in Polis. The view was magnificent surrounded by nature. It was such a peaceful place compared to DC and even LA.

On the walls and tables you could see Clarke’s awards and recognitions - including her new Album of the Year award she won recently at the BMAs.

The painting Lexa gave Clarke hung beautifully in the center area of the living room, surrounded by the candles that the bodyguard used to set a more romantic mood at night.

 

They christened the whole apartment in no time. According to Raven, they were like the Energizer bunnies when it came to their sex life. But who could blame them?

Besides, Raven was right. They couldn’t stop.

Also, Octavia was a close neighbor so Clarke didn’t feel completely isolated. Since the drummer began her relationship with Lincoln, it felt more and more like the perfect place to begin their life as a couple. Raven came to Polis with Wells regularly so it was like nothing had changed for Clarke.

It truly felt like home.

 

Lexa sighed and kissed the top of Clarke’s head bringing her into the present as she smiled at the picture of them at the Pollis Warriors game that sat on their night table.

“Are you happy here?”

The question made Clarke turned around, propping herself on her elbow to look at Lexa. “Of course I am. Did I make you think otherwise? If it’s because what Marcus said about LA being better for my career-”

Lexa laughed easing her fears. “No, no it’s just that Polis is nothing like DC and much less LA. Since we moved in together, I’m a bit stressed that you were going to regret getting this apartment with me. So I’ve been kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Lexa, I’m happy here with you. Heck, even when we start to fight for dumb things, I wouldn’t change this for anything.”

“Clarke, leaving your wet towels on the bed is not dumb!” Lexa rolled her eyes, but it was playful.

“Habits die hard, Lexa! I’m trying!” Clarke rolled on top of Lexa tickling her making her burst in laughter.

Lexa raised her hands in surrender. “Alright! I give up.”

Clarke claimed Lexa’s lips in a sweet, long, mind-blowing kiss. She’d never get tired of kissing her girlfriend.

 

“I’ve been thinking about my so-called tour with Ontari. I won’t do it. Since we had our first videocall, I knew this wasn’t gonna work. There is just no chemistry between us, and she’s an asshole.”

“Clarke, are you sure about this? If it’s for me you don’t have to-”

“This is for me, Lexa. I’m not Arkadia’s puppet. I asked Marcus and also Raven to join me tomorrow. I have a plan and hope she’s on board.”

“Raven has been coming around frequently. She must like Polis a lot.”

“She’s using the lame excuse that she misses me and O, but I bet she only wants to be here for your bestie.”

“Anya loves daring Raven in stupid games.”

“And Raven loves the thrill that comes with them.” Clarke added.

“That’s some way to flirt, but hey, we weren’t any better.”

Clarke moved her hand to cup Lexa’s perky breast, her thumb sliding over the nipple awaiting attention. Dropping small kisses on the line of her neck. “At least Anya doesn’t want to murder me anymore. That’s winning in my book.”

 

“Mmm, love? I need to work. We can’t right now.”

“I can make you come in less than 5 minutes, Lex. I got this.”

Lexa groaned because Clarke had the power to make her orgasm that fast. She was putty in Clarke’s hands.

Clarke went down on Lexa, making sure to always stop at the scars on her lean abdomen, thanking whoever entity existed up there that kept Lexa alive.

“So wet for me, baby. I’m gonna eat you so fucking good.”

“Love, before you… dive in,” Lexa fisted Clarke’s blonde and red locks struggling to keep it together under Clarke’s masterful touch. “Don’t forget we have dinner later with Titus.”

“Fuck!” Clarke lifted her head between Lexa’s legs with horror. “Lexa, Titus hates me to death. Why are we dining with him this time?”

“I have something I need to tell you both.”

“Maybe you can tell me here, and you go with Titus alone?”

“Clarke, I need you there too. It’s important.”

“Fiiiine.” Clarke pouted and sat again. “And that’s how you kill my libido Woods. Talking about your dad.”

“Sorry love, but I had to remind you.”

 

“Hmm… Are you going to propose to me tonight? Is that why?” Clarke traced her fingertips over Lexa’s abdomen. Tracing the bullet scars softly, making Lexa have goosebumps.

Lexa blushed profusely. “Oh God no! But um… do you want to?”

Clarke laughed and leaned in to peck Lexa. Next she rolled off her to lean on her side. “I mean, of course I want to marry you but not yet. We promised to take it slow, remember?”

“Yes, I know. I’ll marry you one day, Ms. Griffin, but for now it’s something else.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll find out soon. I’m going to start the coffee while you shower, and babe if your knee hurts too much, don’t keep it quiet again. I need to know if you’re in pain to help you. There’s no shame in that. Swear you’ll tell me.”

Lexa sighed, but agreed reluctantly. “Sorry about lying, I didn’t want you to worry. I called your mom, and she upped the dose on the meds. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”  
“It is to me. Admitting you need help is not weakness, Lexa. Don’t forget that you have me, babe.”

“I know, Clarke. Now I better get moving, or I’ll have an earful from Indra.”

 

///

 

“Thanks for coming, Kane.” Clarke sat with Raven and Marcus on the balcony of her home.

It was a clear sky in the magnificent city, and a great day to drink beers while enjoying the view to have _the talk_.

“You said you had something extremely important to tell me. So here I am.”  
“I’m quitting Arkadia.”

That made Marcus raised his brows. “Clarke have you-”

“Yes, I thought about it, and I’m done. I want out, and I don’t care if I have to pay an extravagant amount of money to them or if I have to go to court. They won’t control me or the content of my songs anymore. I quit.”

 

Marcus remained pensive, rubbing his beard deep in thought. “Is this about Ontari?”

“Not really. This is about what I want. I’ll always be thankful for you, Kane. You discovered  me in LA and helped me with my career by having me sign with Arkadia. You know that the last lyrics I wrote caused Pike certain apprehension, and I’m not going to stop singing about the woman I love. If they have issues with the pronouns I use then, that’s not where I want to continue my career.  I am not going on tour, with or without Ontari.”

“Very well but what do you have in mind?”

“I want my own independent label. One that can help new talents with exposure.  I want more creative freedom. To do that I’m gonna need your help too, Raven.”

 

“In what sense?” Raven took a sip from the beer can Clarke offered earlier, paying attention to the conversation between manager and artist.

“You’re one of the best sound engineers. I want to put a small music studio here where I can work with you creating new music.”

“Not one of the best Griffin, THE best!” Raven finished with one big gulp leaving the empty can with a thud on the table. “Count me in!”

“I’m hoping to bring all the team for this - O, Harper, Monroe, Jasper, Monty, Bell…”

“You know we’ll follow you, Clarke. We’re family.”

 

“It’s a very ambitious project, but you’re stubborn if anything. You’ve got this.” Kane finished his own drink. “I’ll contact the executives and hope to get back to you soon with an answer. I’ll make sure to remind Charles and the executives that you put them on the map.  I believe we can reach a settlement that will benefit both of you.”

 

Clarke leaned back in her chair looking at the lake bordering the city, feeling like she removed a weight from her shoulders. She took this step, and now it wasn’t in her hands. At least, she felt at ease.

“Lexa got a promotion. When I went with to dinner with her father last night, she told us the news. She’s going to replace Indra as supervisor of Trikru security.” Clarke said as a change of topic.

“That’s awesome, Clarke!” Raven high-fived her friend. “I think that now you’ll be able to sleep at night knowing she won’t have to take another bullet for anyone else.”

“I know she loves being in the field, but I admit it is a huge relief knowing she’ll be leading from here instead of putting herself in danger.”

“Indra had no easy job, Clarke. Lexa will be just as busy because now there are the lives of many others that she has to protect and guarantee their security. A huge responsibility, but Lexa was born to lead. I’ve seen the way she conducted her team. She’ll do great. Send my congratulations.” Marcus stood up and kissed goodbye Raven and next Clarke. “Thanks for the beers and I’ll keep in touch.”

Marcus bid farewell leaving Clarke and Raven alone.

 

“I think I might have to move if you plan to put in a studio. I can definitely have more time to play and try new things with your music with the right equipment.” Raven wiggled her brows in her usual playful manner.

“Or maybe you’re still drooling for Anya and want to be closer to her?” Clarke teased her back.

“Me? Ha! Maybe it’s her that drools for me instead.” Raven checked her watch. Speaking of I gotta run. I’m meeting O and Lincoln to catch up, then we’re meeting Cheekbones for pizza. You and the commander can join us if you want.”

“Thanks, but I rather stay here with Lexa. Her knee is feeling crappy lately so I want her resting as much as possible.”

“Okay, if that’s your way to say you’ll be banging her, no worries Clarke. We totally understand!”

“You shouldn’t be pushing yourself either Rae.”

“Don’t worry, the grounder princess at least gives the best massages.”

“Oh so now you’re back at the massaging stage again?”

“This isn’t what you think. We’re just eeh... friends in progress.”

Clarke crackle in laughter. She was going to let this go for now.

“Whatever you say, Reyes.”

 

“Clarke. I’m hooome!”

Lexa announced from the living room. The sound of keys being dumped in their key bowl by the clinking sound.

Raven and Clarke headed to the entrance to greet Lexa.

“Gosh, that is so cliché!” Raven grabbed her backpack from the kitchen counter. “Nice seeing you commander, but I’m departing. See you two later.” Raven made a quick escape through the door.

 

“Where’s the fire?” Lexa asked Clarke, after she leaned in for a quick kiss.

“She’s meeting O, Lincoln and Anya for pizza.”

“Ah, so that’s where Anya went. She just left the office as soon as she was done with the training today.” Lexa walked to the couch and sat patting the empty space on her side to invite Clarke to join her.

“You talked with Marcus?”

Clarke followed and leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder. “Yup. I told him so now I wait.”

“It’s going to go well. I promise.”

“I hope so. We deserve things to go in our favor for once.”

“We do. It’s been quite a ride, but I wouldn’t change a thing because this journey brought me to you.”

“And now we’ll continue writing a new chapter in our story. Together.”

 

///

 

Blue eyes stared at her back. Her makeup was finally ready, and she was satisfied with how she looked.

“Do you want more platinum around your eyes?” Fox asked looking at the same reflection wondering if Clarke wasn’t happy with her work.

“No, this is perfect. I don’t want to go too hard on the colors. Thanks Fox.”

Clarke lifted herself from her chair, checking that her leather pants and black jacket was in place and walked towards the living room where she found the green eyes of the woman she was mad about.

 

“You look gorgeous.” Lexa stood up from the stool where she was drinking a bottle of water, eyeing Clarke from head to toe, and even after all these years together, that lustful stare made her insides tingle with anticipation.

“So do you, babe. That suit you fits you like a glove.”

“Are you ready?” Lexa walked towards her and kissed her forehead before resting her hands on her hips.

“Yup. But really nervous because it’s been awhile since I have been in front of a camera.”

“No need to be, love. You’re the best at what you do, and your fans are crazy about you.”

 

Someone cleared their throat, and Clarke stepped back from Lexa.

“Excuse me ladies, but we need to roll.”

“Lead us, Artigas.” Lexa said taking Clarke’s hand, guiding her onto the set the TV crew prepared in her home beach for her first interview after being on a musical hiatus for 6 long years.

Clarke was quickly surrounded by some staff who adjusted her microphone and hairstyle before she went to the couch and waited to begin.

 

“Alright, we’re going live in 5, 4, 3, 2...!”

 

“It’s a sunny day in beautiful LA, and I’m sitting right in the living room of Wanheda’s vacation home in Los Angeles. Thank you Wanheda for welcoming us into your home for this exclusive interview!”

“Thanks for having me, Costia.” Clarke smiled to the camera.

“It’s incredible - all that you’ve accomplished in the last 6 years since you departed from Arkadia.” Costia checked her notes. “You founded Polaris Music and are about to launch your 5th album. First under your new label. The single was dropped out of nowhere along with the video just last week. You blew the minds of your fans with that one.”

“The idea was to give the full experience to the fans. I kept them waiting for long. So I thought why not give them everything at once? And we did.”

“It worked! Congratulations for having the most viewed video on YouTube, and of course another number one. I’m surprised by the boldness of your lyrics, but mostly by the scenes of the video, they are very steamy. What was the inspiration behind topics like sexuality, heartbreak and love in this new album?”

Clarke giggled. “My wife is my muse. Since the day I met her, everything that transpired between us has lead me to write songs about painful moments, loving yourself and appreciating the things life gives you. I wanted to be true to myself in this album and show my fans that Wanheda is not a goddess, but a woman who loves and seeks that love in return.”

“Speaking of your wife. You shared with your fans a couple of pictures of your wedding day at the time, but you didn’t offer any comments. Can you share some of that experience?”

“It was such incredible day surrounded by family and friends. I was a teary mess after my mother talked to me and reminded me of my dad and how proud he would be. My father-in-law walked me down the aisle, which was the day we stopped being at each other’s throats. So I gotta say it began with a lot of emotions! I remember I stepped on the dress of my flower girl too causing a little accident.” Clarke turned to the camera and said directly “Sorry, Madi,” causing Lexa to chuckle from behind the cameras. She was standing right beside Marcus.

“In short, I was a disaster, but happy. When I laid eyes on Lexa, dressed in white looking like the most gorgeous woman in the world, I was reminded of how blessed and lucky I have been in love. I mean, you were there.”

 

Costia laughed. “I was, and it was memorable indeed. Now, why did you decide to resurface after being behind the scenes working with younger talent for so long? Ontari’s latest song might feel like it was addressing you.”

“I wanted to take some time off. I had been working nonstop since I was discovered when I was 19. I needed to take time for me and for my family and now wife. I couldn’t worry about what Ontari does or doesn’t do with her music.”

“It must have been hard to start again.”

“Yeah, fucki- err really hard.” Clarke grinned catching Marcus roll of his eyes. “My wife supported me every step of the way, and she helped me carry a bit of that weight, considering she’s the head of security of Trikru. But our friends were there for us. Big shout out to my personal trainer. Linc, my man, thanks for pushing me hard. Lots of kisses to O and your little one!”

 

The interview continued for around 30 more minutes where Clarke discussed the new tour called _Bulletproof_ just like her new single and talked about her journey working with new artists and producing new music. She didn’t give much attention to the questions regarding the feud with Ontari. It was futile because some things never change, and Ontari was still an asshole. However, now that Lexa had Echo under her command, Ontari wasn’t that bitchy whenever they saw each other on some red carpets.

It was practically easy for Clarke once she felt that confidence and support from Lexa to take Wanheda’s mantle, and do this interview to promote her new album.

 

“Once again, thank you so much for allowing us to take a sneak peek into your personal life, Wanheda.” Costia said, “I know how much you value and protect it. You two make a wonderful couple, and the fans know you are couple goals. Congratulation on your launch, and I wish you all the success!”

“Thank you Costia, and I wanna take this time to thank my staff. Guys, without you, this wouldn’t have been possible. Your support has been incredible. My manager and mom, thanks you two for your patience and wisdom. Raven, you rock. By the way, Lexa told me the news. Congrats to you and your fiancé Anya. Last, a huge thanks to my wife.” Clarke looked at Lexa who was blushing looking slightly embarrassed. “You’ve been my rock since I started this project. You always believed in me, and for that I have no words to thank you. These years have been a blessing, and I cannot wait to continue creating new things by your side.”

Lexa mouthed I love you, and Clarke blew her a kiss.

The connection they shared since they met grew to become this strong love. Clarke cherished it every day.

They have been growing together as a couple, and learning many things from one another. Even when there were days that the darkness and bad memories returned to haunt them, they always made sure to keep the communication channels open trying to avoid opening the old wounds again.

It was a learning process, that by now they had mastered with patience and trust.

After all, the bodyguard and the rock star were still madly in love even when their worlds were still miles apart.

Because together they were simply Clarke and Lexa.

 

“Thanks to our viewers once more for tuning in for this special with Wanheda. The rock star is on her way to take back the music world by storm with her new tour, so don’t miss the tickets on sale soon. You can check her official website for status of her tour dates and charity concerts. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter to catch a glimpse of the life of Wanheda and her bodyguard of lies! This is your host, Anacostia Del Bosque, and I’ll see you soon on our next installment of ‘A Day in the Life.’”

 

“Aaaaand cut!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it for this story. Again, thank you so much for your patience. I know that the update rate was crap so I promise I'll work harder to update at a better rate. This ride took us more than year so it's been long but at least, I hope you have enjoyed to to the very end.
> 
> I am currently on a writing hiatus and I have no idea when I'll return to writing, but you have my word that Clexa is far from over. As long as I have the time and support of all of you friends, I'll continue writing for this pair. I am always humbled for everyone who reads my stories and thankful for the love and critique as well.  
> This is something I do for fun and because it makes me happy to create a world where Clexa can continue the path that was denied for them. Hope you'll stick around for the next adventure!
> 
> In the meantime, if you haven't read my other stories now is a good time to do so. I only publish in AO3 so if you suddenly see another story that kind of resembles 99% mine please report it. If you have read them all then you damn know how meta I tend to get with my fics loool Again, thanks to my beta cos-geek-monkey who has been on this road with me since I published my first Clexa fic so this.
> 
> There is no copyright intended, all characters belong to their respective owners, only the plot/writing belongs to me.
> 
> Until next time readers,
> 
> Tanagariel

**Author's Note:**

> For more fics written by me, check out my masterpost -> commanderlexaofthegrounders.tumblr.com/the100fics
> 
> Contact me on tumblr or twitter @tanagariel
> 
> Beta -> cosgeekmonkey.tumblr.com  
> Fanart done by the awesome AleksRin


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